Passion Never Dies

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Not mine blah, blah.

Distribution: If you want it you can have it, just tell me first.

http://mysticmuse.net 

Spoilers:  Up to Wrecked.

Feedback: Yes please.

Pairing: Willow/Tara

Author's Note: I apologize if I have any of the academic timings wrong but my family's degrees were all from Scottish Universities and all in scientific fields and my uncle has only just completed his PHD but then again he was left uni a long time before he went back.

Part 1

Five years, well actually nearer five and a half years since she had returned to Sunnydale. Looking round Heathrow's terminal three she gives a sigh of relief as she sees Giles walking towards her.

He leant forward to kiss the young woman who he now definitely considered to be his daughter. "Tara, I'm sorry I'm late, the traffic was horrendous."

Tara smiled her engaging lopsided grin. "Well we still have plenty of time to check in. Have you remembered everything?"

"Yes, I know you think I'm ancient but I still have some of my faculties left," said Giles. "I have my passport, visa, ticket and I have even remembered the wedding present."

"Good, good lets check-in then," said Tara.

Giles looked at the blonde with concern he had expected one of her cute giggles, but instead he realized she wasn't listening to him. It was easy to forget that although Giles himself was a frequent trans-Atlantic traveler. Tara had never returned to the States.

As they sat in the departure lounge Giles had already been re-buffed by the blonde when he asked if she wanted a drink, she had pulled out her laptop and explained she was working on a paper.

Giles came back from the bar and regarded the young woman who sat across from him. She had changed so much from the bedraggled, heartbroken girl who had knocked at his doors five years ago and asked to be taken in. Willow's magic addiction and attempted use of mind control had made Tara flee the country.

The watchers council had helped her change to Bath University and she had moved in with Giles. She was now Dr Maclay and working her way to becoming a well-respected social historian.

He worried so much about her. All she did was work. Her love life was almost totally non-existent. There had been women who had tried to pursue Tara but most gave up because of the lack of encouragement and interest shown by his young ward. Whenever he questioned her on it her stock reply was. "It's hard to keep a relationship when I'm studying all the time and also working for a secret organization that kills vampires and demons."

Thinking about it he knew that was another big change in the witch. The two of them plus another couple of younger members the council now actively fought vampires and demons. His reasoning being one slayer is busy on a Hellmouth and another is in jail but bad things happened everywhere. At first Tara had been invaluable because of her magical ability but she had decided she needed to learn to look after herself. She now possessed a black belt in Karate and Ju Jitsu and was proving herself to be a very adept fighter for her size. Giles knew this was just one more barrier that the blonde put between herself and the world.

Emotionally the only people she seemed to have any connection with was himself, Dawn and Buffy with whom she communicated with long open e-mails.

When they were on the plane he decided to take the plunge and try to get Tara to speak. " I know this is hard for you but I'm ready to listen to you if you need to talk about things. You have avoided going back to Sunnydale for so long. I don't know what I'm trying to say but I just wanted you to know I'll always be here for you."

He knew that he was being a coward and had avoided even saying the word but hoped Tara would understand that he was talking about Willow.

Tara looked at Giles not really sure what to say. "I 'm not sure how I feel and I'm scared of what will happen when I see Willow again. Maybe it'll be great and I'll get some sort of closure but I don't know." Tara took a deep breath and admitted something that she had tried to hide even from herself. "Giles the thing is even after everything that happened and all she did to me I think I'm still in love with her."

Giles smiled at her "Tara I've lived with you for over five years. I know you still love Willow and I wish I had made you go back before now."

Part 2

"Will are you ready, they'll be at the airport soon," shouted Buffy at her best friend who was still in her bedroom. "I'll leave without you." Shouted the impatient slayer.

"One minute Buffy," shouted Willow. The red head looked at herself in the mirror and decided that that would have to do. She felt physically sick with a mixture of excitement, dread and tension. TARA would be here in Sunnydale in half an hour. She'd almost given up hope of ever seeing the blonde again. She thanked her lucky stars that Xander and Anya had given it one last try and were at last getting married.

The slayer put her foot down all the way to the airport and despite all her protestations to Willow they still managed to be there 20 minutes before the flight was due. As they parked they heard a loud screech behind them, Willow shuddered realizing it was Dawn and knowing that the youngest Summers seemed to have developed big sister's style of driving.

"Dawn what are you doing here? You should be in class," said Buffy glaring at her sister.

"It was only study group and there is no way I'm missing meeting Tara and Giles. I miss them too," said Dawn.

The slayer's sister had matured in to a tall beautiful young woman who was handling university very well.

"You see them more than the rest of us. You spend nearly all your holidays in England," said Buffy

Willow tried to switch off as the other two bickered all the way to the arrivals lounge and carried on as they stood waiting. When the announcement of the flight came over the tannoy she felt like she wanted to run and hide. Her deep-seated feelings of guilt were threatening to overwhelm her, she wondered if Tara could forgive her for interfering with her memories not once but twice. She guessed not as there had been no communication between the two of them since Tara had gone to England.

"There's Giles," shouted Dawn.

Willow scanned the passengers walking towards them. Then she spotted her and the sight took her breath away. Tara looked stunning, even more beautiful than Willow remembered. She was dressed in figure hugging jeans and a white t-shirt. Her hair had been cut into shoulder length bob. The haircut and the dress were simple but very elegant. The first thought that went through Willow's mind was that she wasn't even in the same class as the blonde anymore.

Moving through customs Tara turned to Giles "I wish I hadn't come. I-I don't think I'm g-going to be able to see her. Giles d-do you know if she has someone new because I know I w-won't be able cope w-with that."

Giles shot Tara a look of concern he hadn't heard her stutter for years. "Don't worry as far as I can tell she's been as unable to move on with her personal life as you have with yours." He knew that sounded unkind but he felt it was about time these two intelligent women started to live for more than work and demon fighting.

Tara was so pre-occupied that she didn't see them. Her first contact with her old friends was to find herself engulfed in a bone-crushing hug.

"Tara I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Buffy but you are still one of the strongest people on the planet, do you think you could stop breaking my ribs," said Tara playfully but semi-seriously.

"Sorry" said the slayer looking embarrassed.

"I'll have to bring you with more often" said Giles. "It's usually me who has the crushed ribs"

One Summer's hug was replace by another. "Dr Maclay I presume," said Dawn.

"Dawnie, how are you and how is life at U.C Sunnydale?" said Tara.

"Fine," said Dawn. "But you don't want to hear about me and I want to hear all about England and you."

Tara smiled at Dawn. Much as she liked living in England and loved Giles deeply she did miss being part of the day-to-day life in the extended Summers family. She knew Giles and herself were still part of it but it wasn't quite the same as being part of it every day.

A hand was laid on her shoulder. "Hi Tara," said Willow in a small voice.

"W-Willow, hi I wasn't expecting you to be here," said Tara. "But it's nice to see you," she added quickly seeing the smile fall from the hackers face.

As the sounds of people greeting one another went on around them they regarded one another with an awkward silence.

Tara was the one to take the initiative and gathered her ex-lover in a hug and whispered in her ear. "It is good to see you Will."

The hacker felt like her heart was about to burst through her rib cage as Tara stepped back and gave her that lop-sided grin Willow had always found so enchanting.

She wanted to tell Tara how good it was to see her, how much she had missed her, how she had never found anyone to replace her and how she would give up anything to have Tara back in her life for good. None of these words came though as the hacker stood on the spot grinning like a love struck teenager.

"Will, Will. I think you broke her," said Buffy to Tara after trying in vain to get her best friend's attention.

"I think we should book into our hotel," said Giles. "Because I don't know about Tara but I could do with a shower and a nap."

Tara nodded in agreement "It's about 11.00 pm at home and I feel I'm about to crash."

Buffy drove the two tired travelers to Sunnydale's only five star hotel. Which was a couple of miles from the Summers house. Giles and Tara booked in and agreed to meet up with everyone for dinner about 8 o'clock.

At 7 o'clock Tara knocked on Giles door. The watcher had showered but still looked rather tired. "I always forget how tiring trans-Atlantic travel can be."

"Giles I'm going to stay here, I've got so much work to do..."

"Don't start giving me weak excuses Miss Maclay, I know you better than that," said Giles cutting in. "You've faced Willow so don't start losing your nerve now."

"It's not that," said Tara then noting the look on Giles face. "Okay it is but I don't know what to do. My life is mine now, but when I saw her again every feeling including the bad ones came flooding back."

"Tara this will not be easy but you have done the hard part. Don't put any pressure on yourself; just enjoy being with your old friends. Xander and Anya will be there and I'm sure they will be disappointed if you don't turn up. Go put your party clothes on and I will not take no for an answer," said Giles.

Part 3

Half an hour later Tara once again knocked on Giles door she was dressed in khaki pants with a white shirt knotted at the waist, with enough buttons left undone to show off her ample cleavage. "Will I do?"

"You look beautiful as always," said Giles. "I've phoned for a cab, the desk will ring up when it arrives."

Chaos reigned in the Summers house as three grown women attempted to get ready and prepare a meal for nine people at the same time.

The doorbell rang.

"Crap," said Buffy. "Can someone else answer that, I'm trying to chop the salad."

The doorbell rang again.

"I'll tell you what I'll just answer it myself. Everybody expects me to do everything, just because I'm the slayer," said Buffy as she goes to answer the door.

"Whoa, there cowboy is that how you answer the door to all your friends. I know you're the slayer but you can drop the act now and again," said the handsome black man grinning at Buffy.

"What?" said the slayer.

"The knife."

"Sorry, Gunn it's just the two other people who live in this house seem to leave everything to me for me to. Hi Fred. Come in make yourself at home and if the doorbell goes do you think one of you can get it," said Buffy and runs past them back in to the kitchen.

"Is it me or does Buffy seem a little wound," said Fred.

"No, it's not you," said Gunn.

The doorbell goes again.

"Welcome to the madhouse..." Gunn stopped as he realized he didn't have a clue who the young woman who stood before him is.

She gave him a sweet lopsided smile. "This is still Buffy's house?"

Giles appeared from behind her. "Charles it is good to see you again and where is your beautiful wife."

"She's in the lounge you old smoothie and talking of beauty's aren't you going to introduce you me to your date," said Gunn as he ushered them into the lounge.

Fred bounced off the settee and gave Giles a big hug "Hi Giles."

"You still haven't introduced us," said Gunn

"Well one thing she's not my date. This is Tara," said Giles. "And Tara these are two of Angel's associates Charles Gunn and his wife Fred."

"Tara," said Fred. "Oh Willow's ex..."

"We've heard lots about you," said Gunn cutting across his wife. Much to his relief the doorbell rang again. "That must Xander and Anya."

This time Tara answered the door wondering if she could make a run for it. She had this dread feeling in the pit of her stomach that the night was going to get even more awkward.

"And just trust me on this," said Xander his face twisting into a placating smile.

"Trust you after you left me at the alter. No siree there is no chance I'm going to let you have a bachelor party," said Anya.

"Aren't you having one and anyway it'll just be me, Giles, Gunn, Wesley, Angel and Connor," said Xander.

Isn't Lorne going," said Anya.

"No he said he'd rather be with the girls. Hi Tara" said Xander, then turning "Tara?" And before she knew it she was caught in the middle of a Xander, Anya sandwich.

"I'm so glad you're here," said Anya.

"You didn't think I'd miss your big day," said Tara.

Willow sat in her room. She could hear the laughing and joking coming from downstairs. There was a soft knock at her door. "Come in," said Willow.

"Hi," said Fred in her soft Texan drawl. "Everybody is here."

"Good I'll be down soon," said Willow.

"She's very pretty," said Fred. "Why don't you come down with me. Xander and Anya have center stage; maybe we can sneak in without causing too much fuss."

"Thanks Fred but..."

"But I'll hide in my cave like bedroom, been there remember, done that," said Fred "Is she as nice as she looks?"

Willow smiled remembering something Buffy said about only a grasshopper could follow a conversation between Fred and herself. "No, she's nicer, come on lets do this."

The meal had passed off fine; much to Buffy's relief and with only one small fight between Xander and Anya it could almost be called a triumph.

"Anyone for cheese and biscuits," said Buffy.

"No thanks," said everyone.

"I wouldn't mind a cognac though," said Giles.

"Help yourself," said Buffy.

"I would like one too, but I'm not allowed," said Anya mournfully.

"Anya, we weren't going to say anything yet," said Xander.

"But Xander I want to tell them," said Anya.

"Go ahead," said Xander not wanting to argue with his bride to be.

Anya fixed everyone with a huge proud smile. "I am with child."

"Congratulations," said Tara.

"Xander, you kept it a secret you freak," said Buffy.

"Well I think it's time to break out the bottle of champagne I brought with me," said Giles.

The whole room then dissolved into a big hug fest as everyone wanted to congratulate the happy couple and the party began in earnest.

Tara went outside and sat on the veranda swing, wanting a little time to herself, also the mixture of jet lag and alcohol was starting to make her feel a little light headed. She sensed a movement behind her. "Hi Fred."

"Oh," said Fred slightly taken a back. "How did you know it was me?"

"I can sense your aura," said Tara simply.

"I forgot you're a witch. Do you mind if I sit here a while?" asked Fred.

Tara was thinking of many reasons why she would like to refuse but in the end her natural friendliness won through "No, no be my guest."

"You didn't say much during dinner. Is it weird being here? You didn't have to answer if you don't want to. I speak too much, Charles is always telling me..."

"No, it's okay and yes its weird everything seems do similar, yet so much has changed. You and Charles for one," said Tara

"You know what happened?" asked Fred.

"Yeah," said Tara as painful memories came flooding back. "Giles told me everything; Buffy being shot by Warren, Spike trying to rape her. Willow being so out of it on magic that she practically lived at that warlock guy Rack's house. Xander and Anya splitting up and Anya turning to vengeance and how Dawn had to call in Giles and Angel as Sunnydale threatened to become over run with monsters. I know the story."

"Charles and I decided to stay and help everyone back on their feet after the initial fighting had finished," said Fred shuddering over what had been a dark time for everyone. She remembered the sound of Angel snapping Warren's neck as he held a gun to Connor's head. Of putting on a full assault on Rack's house and pulling out a wreck of person that was once Willow. How Angel and Cordy had sat praying at Buffy's bedside as she slowly recovered from the near fatal gun wound. "After that we realized we could open a branch of the agency here. Things to trivial for the slayer or even fixing squabbles between demons and of course we help Buffy if there is any real serious problems."

"I'm glad she has more people to rely on," said Tara. "Do you think they will ever forgive me for leaving."

"I don't understand," said Fred.

"Well if I had never left I none of that would ever have happened. Willow has started to kick the magic. Xander and Anya seemed so happy and how Buffy ended up with Spike I don't know, but if I had stayed I could maybe have helped."

"You don't know that," said Fred.

Tara wasn't listening instead her guilt from those past events were coming back to her. "Plus Giles wanted me to come back with him but I couldn't. I knew my friends were in terrible danger but I was so scared of what I might find I stayed in England."

"Is that why you've never come back before now," asked Fred surprised at the emotions coming from Tara.

"I suppose..."

"Tara I've phoned for a cab it'll arrive soon," said Giles.

"Okay I'd better get ready to go," said Tara.

Part 4

Giles and Tara faced each over breakfast, the watcher slightly hung over.

"Well that was a surprise about Xander and Anya. Although I'm not sure if the human race is ready for the results," said Giles.

"Come on Giles. It's sort of nice I'm sure they'll be very loving parents. Eccentric maybe but loving," said Tara.

"Anyway what have you planned today?" said Giles

"Working," said Tara.

"Aren't you on holiday," said Giles

"Yes but the paper is almost finished and I know you want to annoy Anya in the Magic Box and check the books even though she e-mails them to you every month," said Tara failing to add that he very rarely managed to open or look at them until she printed them off for him. "And anyway my favorite nephew is arriving some time after sunset and I promised him a guided tour of Sunnydale."

"Connor knows Sunnydale," said Giles with a sigh

"Maybe but he doesn't know all the places that students hangout, where he may accidentally bump into Dawn," said Tara.

"Do you really think you should be encouraging him?" said Giles

"Why because his father and Buffy don't approve. You would think they would have learnt the more you discourage them and forbid them the more they will rebel and at least this way I can keep an eye on them and anyway Dawn's not really interested she just finds him fun," said Tara.

Tara sat in her room and stared at the empty screen of her laptop; the words were just not flowing today. Thinking about what she said to Fred it was true she found it weird being back in Sunnydale. The whole feel of the place made her feel on edge she could feel the way the Hellmouth seemed to intrude on the place leaving an atmosphere that was truly charged and very forbidding. When she had first arrived she thought herself fanciful until she found out the truth, until she met Willow.

Willow. She tried when she was home never to think of her, it was just too hard, and here she could sense her. True her power had gone, but the way Tara feelings were attuned to nature meant she could feel her ex-love everywhere, screaming at her and it took a lot of strength to close it out. Tomorrow was going to be hard; Anya's bachelor party and everyone would be there. Buffy, Willow, Dawn, Cordy, Fred and a demon who she didn't know called Lorne.

Okay thought Tara lets not think about it. Instead her mind went to the meeting she was looking forward to tonight, Connor. Being involved with the slayer had brought many things into her life but Dawn and Connor were two of the most important things to her.

She remembered when she met Connor for the first time. Giles had bought him back with him after they had finished in Sunnydale. Angel hadn't been happy but the young man developed a bond with Giles and still held a lot of hate and resentment for his father. Giles persuaded Angel that to let Connor go voluntary would mean he would come back to him.

Giles contacted Tara and told her to meet him at his family's cottage in Cornwall. It was during the uni's summer break and she welcomed the chance to get away and work on some projects she had planned.

Connor had seemed almost feral, but Giles worked hard taming him. Taking him fishing and even arranged for some old friends and their sons to come down to Newquay and they had gone surfing on Fistral beach. At first Tara hadn't joined in; she was studying and checking out local folklore. She even considered joining a coven there, but she had only practiced magic with her mother and Willow and it seemed weird to practice with anyone else. She didn't realize it but she had cut herself off from the two men she was sharing with. Connor had changed all that through his innocence.

He had asked her why she spent so much time on her own. She told him she liked to read. He said his father, meaning Holtz, had taught him to read. He asked her to show him what she was reading. As it was she was reading about Tintagel and in the end partly because she wanted to look herself she took him and explained the legend of King Arthur, his round table and Merlin. The young man had listened wide mouthed and enjoyed himself immensely. Tara found he had a huge streak of romance in him so she had feed his imagination with classic books. His favorite turned out to be Wuthering Heights and when Giles took him to Bodmin Moor, he imagined himself to be in Yorkshire and that he was Heathcliff. He also was totally in love with Tara and had a secret fantasy that she was his Kathy.

The summer had become very enjoyable and the two had developed a close bond. He had seemed to understand about her sexuality and she had talked to him about Willow. She also told him all the facts she knew about Angel and because he trusted her he went back to L.A and although it wasn't an easy relationship they were now as close as any other father and son. It was something she was very proud of.

Back in Sunnydale the night didn't go quite as she planned. Connor and Tara spent the night at The Bronze playing pool and talking. He claimed he was no longer interested in chasing Dawn, but instead spent the time quizzing her on what she had done since she had arrived and how she was getting on with Willow.

Tara looked round the bar. "It seems strange being here and not see Spike sleazing around."

"Well he got what he deserved," said Connor with a grim look on his face.

Dawn after she found out what he had done to Buffy had been devastated. When he arrived back from his trip she had went to his crypt where he had been going on and on about getting his soul back. He had cried saying how sorry he was for all the things he had done, but she wasn't taken in by him and when he went to hug her she pushed a stake through his heart. The gang were shocked but not many people had shed a tear for the bleach blonde vampire.

The next night Giles found himself banging on Tara's door. She answered dressed still in her bathrobe

"Tara what will a wear?" said the watcher with a panicked look on his face. "Do you think Xander will want to go to a strip joint?"

Tara laughed out loud "I don't know but if you do take him keep it a secret from Anya. Just put on some casual trousers and a shirt, no tie."

"What are you wearing?" said Giles.

"Oh just my little black number" said Tara.

"Have fun" said Giles. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know Lorne said he was arranging everything," said Tara.

"You like karaoke then," laughed Giles.

"You are having me on," said Tara.

Giles just shook his head and laughed.

Lorne greeted everyone at the door of Willy's place. "I hope you ladies appreciate the hard work I've had to put in to make this dump look semi-presentable and by the way Buffy you are off duty and so are any of the usual patrons who come in here."

"Yeah, yeah, I've been read the riot act already. I'll be on my best behavior. Just make sure no-one gets in my face," said Buffy not too happy.

Lorne gives Buffy a look. "Come on girls, lets just have some fun."

They walk in and Willy's looks like it has never looked before. A big glitter ball has been set up in the middle of the bar. A small stage has been built with a karaoke machine set up and there was banners and streamers all over the walls and ceilings.

"Oh Lorne," said Anya. You did all this for me. You shouldn't have."

"No, he really shouldn't have," said Cordy shuddering at the bad taste and tack.

The night got into full swing with some of the worst crimes ever being committed in Sunnydale. Tara hoped she would forget a camp young vampire's quavering, tearful version of "I Will Survive" and then the silence in the bar as Cordy sang "Here Comes The Sun". It hadn't taken a lot of persuasion from the afore mentioned demon hunter for her to get involved in a few rounds of tequila slammers with Cordy, Willow and Dawn.

She didn't know how but she found herself sat in a corner booth with Willow.

"How you doing hm T-Tara?" said Willow

"I do believe you are pissed," said Tara.

"I'm not mad I feel pretty mellow," said Willow looking puzzled.

Tara started to giggle. " Come on you are totally lagging."

"I don't understand," said Willow

"Drunk," explained Tara.

"You have spent too long in England," said Willow laughing then the mood changed she looked into Tara's smoky blue eyes and cupped her face in her hands. "You really have spent too much time away."

Tara could feel the draw and she just gave in to the green eyes that were looking so sexy. She lent in and the moment their lips met the spark of passion fanned the flames within her. Willow's hands stroked Tara's face and neck as the kiss deepened and their tongues wrestled for superiority. Willow then moved onto Tara legs. The short black dress the blonde had worn that night had turned Willow on the moment she saw it. She couldn't wait to touch Tara's lovely legs and her excitement grew as her hands pushed upwards and she felt the naked flesh at the top her stockings. This was just too much to take the, image of Tara in stockings and suspender belt flashed through Willow's fevered mind.

"We have to get out of here," said Willow urgently. "It'll take about 15 minutes to walk home from here. Come with me"

Tara's usual slow and logical responses just went out the window. She didn't think about what she was doing she just reacted. A nod of the head was all it took and she would regret it later, but at that moment there was nothing she wanted more. They left the bar quickly and walked home kissing and groping one another all the way. By the time they reached the house they were primed and ready for action. Willow's hand went to the zipper of Tara's dress. Tara stopped her "I think we should wait 'til we are upstairs. You don't want Buffy or Dawn walking in."

They made it to the bedroom without removing too much of their clothes. As soon as the door was shut Willow pulled Tara's dress off and stood letting her eyes drink in a sight that she had missed so much. The fact that blonde was dressed in a black bra, panties and suspender set made the sight even better for the red head.

"God you are the most sexy woman I've ever seen," said Willow her voice a low growl suffused with passion.

Tara went too Willow their lips met, but there was nothing romantic about it, this was raw animal passion something neither had give into for a long, long time. It didn't take long before they were naked on the bed Willow's head between Tara's thighs her tongue searching for the sweetness she desired. She loved the taste of this woman and she sucked and licked Tara's clit until heard the blonde's breathing become ragged. Knowing that Tara was near her peak she entered her with two fingers and started pumping her hard. Tara's back arched and she screamed Willow's name as she came hard.

Tara returned the complement but at a slower pace enjoying the feel of having her former lover underneath her. She kissed, sucked and bit her way down the hacker's lean body. Stopping and concentrating on any spot that seemed to get more of a reaction, until she reached her goal. Willow was wet and more than ready for Tara when started to fuck her slowly and rhythmically with two slick fingers. It didn't take Willow long to come she hadn't been touched in so long she felt wonderful. She gathered Tara in her arms and whispered, "I love you," into her ear, feeling more happy and contented than she had done for years Willow drifted off to sleep.

Tara woke with start, where the hell was she then the memories of the previous night came flooding back what had she done? How could she have been so stupid? This was not the way things were supposed to go. She looked at Willow's peaceful sleeping face. She couldn't be here when Willow woke up and rather than face the awkwardness she took the coward's way out. She quickly and quietly dressed and left the room. She cried all the way back to the hotel knowing that she had probably compounded one mistake with another.

Part 5

Ring ring, ring ring. Giles looks at his bedside phone with deep hatred. His head feels like there is a million people tap dancing on it. "Yeah what?"

"Giles is that how you always answer the phone," said Buffy. "Because I always thought you people on the other side of the pond had better manners than that. Talking of things people do in England you haven't got involved in any bucks night jokes and put Xander on a train to Mexico City or anything like that."

"Yes, Buffy I apologize but I'm not really in the mood for a morning chat," said Giles impatience sounding in his voice. "Now is there a reason why you have phoned me at this early hour the morning after Xander's stag night?"

"I'm worried about Willow and Tara," said Buffy.

"Oh," said Giles his tone changing immediately at the mention of Tara's name. "Why are they missing do you need me to come over right now."

"No, it's not that," said Buffy quickly to calm Giles fears "They both disappeared from the party early and Willow has spent the morning lying in bed sobbing. I can't get anything out of her about what happened. Do you think they had a fight?"

"I'll try and find out but you know what Tara is like she hates talking about herself, but I'll try my best and by the way we sent Xander to Montreal," said Giles and quickly replaced the receiver as the slayer started to squawk.

He lay back in his bed his mind racing on how the best way to tackle this. He decided to phone her room first to try and gauge what sort of mood she was in.

The phone rang out for quite a while and he is at the point of jumping out bed and banging on the door until he sees her.

"H-hello," said Tara in small voice.

"Tara, thank god I was getting ready to send a search part out for you," said Giles.

"Giles, are you decent because I think I really need to talk to you," said Tara a slight edge of desperation sounding in her voice.

"I'm still in bed give me 5 minutes to have a shower and I will call round to your room," said Giles.

"Hurry please," said Tara.

Giles readied himself at break neck speed; he had never heard Tara sound like that before and after the phone call from Buffy he can't imagine what happened to have the two them in that state.

Giles knocked on Tara's door. She opened it, walked away and climbed back on her un-slept in bed. She still has her dress on from the night before and she sat in the middle of the bed hugging her knees for protection. Her face was tear stained and her eyes were red from crying.

"Tara, darling what happened?" said Giles totally crushed by the state of his daughter "Tell me please?"

"I did something terrible last night. I think I've made the biggest mistake of my life," said Tara and she started to cry again and can no longer get any coherent speech out.

"Shh, shh baby," said Giles cradling her in his arms trying desperately to take the hurt away and he held her until the sobbing subsides. "What happened, it couldn't be that bad, could it?"

"Giles I got very drunk last night," said Tara.

"Well I can tell you that you weren't the only one and I think if any demon wanted to invade Sunnydale today they would be onto a winner," said Giles making a weak joke to try and put a smile on the blonde witch's face.

"Willow was drunk too," said Tara. "And we sort of lost control and we ended up..."

"You ended up, oh," said Giles as realization dawned on his face. "Well I shouldn't worry about it. These things happen when people are under the influence. I should know, look what happened between Joyce and myself."

"There is more," said Tara

"More?" said Giles nervously not really sure if he wanted to hear any details.

"I couldn't face her so I just left," said Tara a look of shame on her face.

"Well obviously you're here," said Giles not sure where this was going.

"I left her a sleep. I just got dressed and left her to wake up on her own. I am such a bastard. I can't believe I was so cowardly and rather than talk to her about what we did, I just left," said Tara.

"Yeah, I agree that was a bad thing but why do you always set yourself higher standards than other people. You acted on instinct, you didn't go out to hurt Willow and I think you're probably hurting just as much as she is," said Giles.

"I want to go back to England," said Tara.

"No, I will not let you," said Giles. " You can't keep running away Tara. You've made a mistake; well so do most adults on this planet. Talk to her, apologize, but if you leave now you can never come back and is that what you really want? You could look in the bright side at least there still seems to be some passion and fire left between the two of you."

Tara throws her arms round Giles neck" Have I told you how much I love you."

"Yes, but I'll never get bored of you telling me. Go on get cleaned up have a nice hot shower and I will treat you to breakfast," said Giles

Fred stood next to Buffy and listened to the sobbing coming from the other side of the door. "I don't understand why you think she may talk to me Buffy. I mean you're her best friend and all."

"That's true, but I'm also a close friend of Tara. Maybe she needs someone who isn't so close to the whole situation. Does that make sense?" Said Buffy.

"Sort of," said Fred "But if she doesn't want to I can't make her talk."

Fred knocks gently on the door "Will."

"Go away," said the voice from the other side of the door.

"Not going to happen," said Fred and walks into the room.

Willow is lying on her side facing away from Fred; tissues litter the bedspread.

"What happened did you and Tara have a fight," said Fred.

"Not a fight," said Willow.

"If you didn't fight what happened?" asked Fred.

"I don't want to talk about it," said Willow.

"Maybe you don't want to but what you want and what you need are probably two different things. Willow something is hurting you real bad and if you just leave it inside it'll get worse," said Fred. "Please talk to me"

"She thinks I'm dirty, some slutty cheap ho," said Willow

"I'm sure..."

"No it's true," said Willow tears running freely down the red heads face as she turns to look at Fred. "Do you know what we did last night; we fucked. We didn't make love or speak; we fucked and the fool that I am, I thought it meant something different, I thought it meant we still had a chance, that we could get back together again. I couldn't have been more wrong if I tried."

"How do you come to that conclusion?" asked Fred "Surely it means that she wants you as much as you want her."

Willow gives out a hollow laugh "I don't think so. I think she is probably ashamed to have ever touched me again."

"Willow don't say that."

"Why Fred?" said Willow fiercely shouting now "She left me, while I was a sleep. She just got up and left so tell me now how much she wants me."

Fred looks at Willow shocked remembering the conversation she had had with Tara a couple of nights ago. It didn't seem something she could have imagined the pensive blonde doing. "You don't know why Tara left."

"Oh I do, she probably took one look at me and thought why the hell am I here," said Willow on the brink of hysterics.

"Will try and calm down. You don't know her reasons. I think you two really need to sit down together and talk," said Fred.

"I can't do that. How could I face her again?" said Willow

"Willow you've done nothing wrong. It takes two people to do what you did last night. Maybe she is feeling just as hurt and confused as you. So take my advice have a hot shower and wait for her to contact you because unless I have totally misjudged the situation I think she will want to talk to you and maybe even apologize," said Fred. "And if she doesn't she won't be worth these tears you are spilling anyway."

Part 6

Tara and Giles had decided not to breakfast at the hotel but instead walked to the Espresso Pump, Tara having expressed a desire to get some fresh air. "Two cappuccinos please," said Giles and to Tara "Do you want anything to eat?"

"Pancakes and syrup please," answered the young witch.

"Pancakes for the lady," repeated Giles to the waitress.

They grabbed a table and sat down.

"After all those years living in England you still haven't got out of the habit of eating those things for breakfast," remarked Giles.

"Excuse me mister while you continue to eat black pudding I will accept no colonial superiority over the subject of breakfast," said Tara giggling.

"It's good to see you smile," said Giles "It's something I didn't think I would see today."

"Are you ashamed of me?" asked Tara timidly.

"No, no in no way could I ever be ashamed of you. We all make mistakes and I've made more than I care to remember, and yours it doesn't even compare to the things I've done so I don't want to hear anymore about it. Just enjoy your breakfast and I'll tell you how bad Xander's party was" said Giles.

"Deal," replied Tara.

"I've come to collect my lovely wife and take her to breakfast," said Gunn. "Seeing as she didn't have time for any before she rushed out."

"Hi Gunn, she's in the kitchen helping to empty all my cupboards," said Buffy.

"Hey Fred you wanna go out for breakfast?" shouted Gunn.

"Sure I'll be with you in one minute Charles," said Fred.

Fred and Gunn headed towards the Espresso Pump "Are you going to tell me why Buffy had you rush out the house at first dawn this morning," said Gunn

Fred looks fondly at the young man who walks beside her "It was hardly first dawn Charles and it's private, girls talk."

"Oh I get it you lot go up to something last night and you don't want the men to find out about it," said Gunn

"No it's not that...I don't believe it," said Fred starring into the Espresso Pump.

Gunn watched in surprise as his wife stormed into the covered part of the coffee shop.

" I can't believe I defended you this morning and here you are laughing and joking as if nothing has happened. Do you know what you have done to Willow? She's a wreck; you've totally destroyed her. Does it mean anything to you?" said Fred her face full of anger.

"I d-d-d, I d-didn't m-mean..." Tara stumbled over her words but no others would come out as the tears she had been keeping in abeyance overwhelmed her.

Fred looked sharply at blonde and realized she had totally misjudged the situation. Tara's eyes were pink and her face swollen from all the tears she had shed. Fred's heart went out to the girl "I'm sorry, it's just I saw you smiling and I've just come from Willow."

"Lets get her across to the Magic Box," said Giles who had looked on helpless, as the events had unfolded.

"Giles I'm sorry," said Fred as she threw an arm round Tara and between her and Giles they maneuvered the distraught girl across the road and into the shop leaving a confused Gunn in their wake.

"What the hell is going on?" demanded Gunn as he thudded into the shop.

"I'll explain later honey," said Fred.

Connor who had been using the punch bag in the training room rushed in when he heard the commotion coming from the main part of the shop "What's going on. Tara, god Tara what's wrong? Please don't cry, has someone hurt her because if they have I will personally kill them."

"Connor calm down, you are not helping things," said Giles to the passionate young man knowing that he wasn't joking and would probably kill to look after Tara.

Connor ignored Giles completely swept Tara off her feet and carried her into the training room; he sat on the couch rocking her back and fore waiting for the sobs to subside "Tara please I'll do anything. Don't cry. Is there anything I can do to make the pain go away? "

It killed him seeing her in pain; he was still very much in love with the blonde witch. She had been the first person to treat him as an individual, not just Angel's son or part of a prophecy but a real live teenager who was hurt and angry at the world. A world in which he no longer knew who was good or bad or the truth anymore. Tara had taught him that there was tenderness, beauty and love in the world and she showed none of the bitterness and hate that Holtz had shown him. It may have started as a teenage crush but it had now matured into a love and deep respect, which meant that no matter what happened a small part of his heart, would always belong to her.

"Connor," said Tara her breathing starting to normalize. She felt stupid about her behavior but it hurt so much to know she had caused Willow that much pain. "If you want to kill the person who hurt me; you'll have to kill me."

"I don't understand," said Connor

"I did something stupid and thoughtless and I've hurt Willow very much," said Tara.

"I don't believe you," said Connor.

"Neither you should," said Giles. "They've both been a little stupid but I've talked to Fred and I think that not all is lost. Tara I think you should go back to the hotel and have a lie down. Gunn is waiting outside in his truck."

She just nodded at Giles numbly and made her way out of the shop.

"I should go with her," said Connor

"No I need you here," said Giles

"But..."

"No buts, do you want to help Tara?" asked Giles

Connor glared at the older man "Of course I do that's a stupid question to ask."

"Good, Fred come in here," shouted Giles "Okay any ideas how we are going to get Tara and Willow talking again."

"Are we trying to get them back together again," asked Fred

"No," said Giles firmly "We just want them talking. If anything else happens that is up to them."

"I don't see how I can help," said Connor.

"Well I've had a small idea of my own and you and Dawn are the most important part," said Giles.

Part 7

"Dawn, I'm really not in the mood for this," said Willow

"But you've got to come," pleaded Dawn

"Why?" asked Willow.

"You know why. Buffy and Angel kick up such a fuss if I go out with Connor," said Dawn.

Willow sighed, "Just tell her you are going out with some friends from college."

"Yeah like we go bowling all the time, please, please Willow at least this way if she finds out she'll know we weren't alone," said Dawn.

"Okay," said Willow with a roll of her eyes.

Connor and Tara walk towards Sunnydale's bowling alley. "Tell me what happened?" asked Connor.

"What?" asked Tara.

"Between you and Willow," said the young man.

"It was nothing," said Tara.

"Yeah it really looked like it, with you having hysterics in the middle of the street," said Connor. "Because you do that all the time. No wait a minute you never do that."

"Connor don't," said Tara.

"Well answer me. You don't usually shut me out so don't now," said the young man.

"Okay we slept together and then while she was still a sleep I got out of bed, dressed and left her," said the witch.

"Oh," said Connor.

"Do you see me in a different light now?" said Tara.

"No," said Connor. "If you had been walking about not bothered at all then maybe but the fact that you are so upset tells me that you are just the same lovely person I always thought you were"

"Now that's just the Irish charm in you," laughed Tara. "What time are we meeting Dawn?"

"In about 10 minutes but I suppose she'll be late," said Connor with a sigh "She usually is."

"Why do you bother Connor?" said Tara "I love Dawn as much as anyone but she leads you a merry dance most of the time."

Connor smiles fondly at the blonde "You forget I'm a hunter and half the thrill is in the chase. How about you and Willow, do you think you'll ever get back together?

"After last nights fiasco I think hell will freeze over before Willow would have me back. Not that I want to go back mind, last night was a mistake." said Tara.

Connor starts to laugh, "Who are you trying to convince me or you? Here they, I mean she comes now."

Tara turns to look and sees Dawn walking down the street with Willow "Connor what have you done?"

"Nothing, out nearest and dearest both seem to think Dawn and I need chaperones so we've arranged some." Said Connor.

"I can't f-face her," stuttered Tara.

"Well you can't run away from her either," said Connor simply.

"There's Connor," said Dawn.

"And there's Tara" said Willow. "How could you Dawn. You know what she did to me."

"I think you two should really talk," said Dawn. "Anyway we're here now try and have some fun"

Willow just snorts at that suggestion.

"Are you two ladies ready to have ready to have your ass kicked?" said Connor.

"Oh no, way are you being on the same team as Tara" said Dawn.

"Why?" countered Connor.

"Well Tara has witchy power and your reflex's are almost as fast as Buffy's" pouted Dawn.

"Okay I'll have you," said Connor with a salacious wink. "And Tara can go with Willow.

Willow looks like she is about to argue but just shrugs her shoulders "Whatever."

"You put a spell on my ball," complains Connor as his ball once again disappears into the gutter.

"No dear Connor, you are just rubbish," said Tara.

"One more game," said Dawn. "We'll pay. C'mon Connor lets fetch some sodas too" and she drags him off with her.

Willow had hardly said a word all evening and had kept a frost silence with her bowling partner the entire time.

"Willow," said Tara.

No response from the redhead not even a turn of the head in Tara's direction.

"Willow" repeats Tara "I can't tell you how sorry I am about last night and you probably don't believe me but I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Well you did" said Willow practically between clenched teeth.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen and I deeply regret it." said Tara.

"You regret sleeping with me?" said Willow accusingly.

"No, yes, no, I uhm mean w-we shouldn't of and there is there is no excuse for w-what I did and I'm sorry." Said Tara stumbling over her words.

"You're right, there is no excuse for what you did. You made me feel dirty and used" shouted Willow anger flashing in her eyes.

"Look" said Tara. "I'm sorry. I was a coward."

"You forgot user." Said Willow.

"Well at least I didn't do a spell on you to make you forget what happened," said the blonde her temper now gone.

"It's a pity you didn't then I wouldn't keep remembering the shit time I had" flashed the hacker. "Maybe I left so I didn't have to fake any emotion the way I had to fake something else last night," shouted Tara.

"You bitch" said Willow slapping Tara hard round the face.

The red marks were livid against the blonde's usual pallor and the air crackled between the two of them. Realizing things had gone too far Tara turns on her heals and leaves with Willow's parting shot ringing in her ears

"That's right run away. It's the one thing you are good at."

Dawn and Connor walk back just in time to catch the final scene

"Well that can't be good," said Dawn.

"I'll go after Tara, you stay with Willow," said Connor.

Connor quickly catches up with the angry witch "What happened?"

"We had a fight," said Tara.

"I worked that out," said Connor.

"She can't forgive me, I don't blame her and I still resent some of the things that happened in the past," snapped Tara.

"But apart from that things went well," said Connor

"Ha bloody ha" said Tara. "I'm tired, my head hurts, and I just want to get back to the hotel, have a stiff drink and go to sleep."

"And tomorrow?" asked Connor.

"Tomorrow, I'm going to practice my Katas and then I'm going to batter the punch bag till I'm knackered" said Tara.

"Fancy a training partner?" asked Connor.

"Sure," answered Tara.

Willow was slumped in her chair with her head in her hands.

"Will what happened?" said Dawn gently.

"I blew it, she apologized and she really meant it, but me and my stupid pride, I wouldn't accept it. We said some terrible things to one another and I slapped her Dawn," said Willow tears starting to fall.

"Lets go home," said Dawn. "We'll talk to Giles and try and sort things in the morning."

Part 8

Angel and Giles sit in the hotel bar having a quiet drink discussing this and that. They look up in surprise when they see Tara and Connor enter. They move to join them but are sent back when Connor gives them a surreptitious shake of the head. They watch in even bigger surprise as Tara downs a couple of large vodkas.

"Giles, Tara doesn't normally drink like that does she?" enquired Angel.

"No she doesn't" said Giles with a worried look on his face.

"Are you sure we shouldn't go over and see what happened," said Angel.

"I trust Connor," said Giles. "If he doesn't want us to go over there I think we should leave it."

They carried on watching as Tara has one more drink, kissed Connor on the cheek and disappeared off to bed. They young man picked up his drink and headed towards the two older men.

"I think that was one of the most uncomfortable nights I have ever had since I ended up back in this dimension," said Connor ruefully.

"That bad, huh?" asked Angel.

"Worse," answered Connor. "They wouldn't talk to one another and then when Dawn and I left them alone they ended up having a big fight and Willow slapped Tara."

"Willow did what?" said Giles.

"She slapped her," said Connor.

At that moment Dawn walked into the bar and sits down with them "Has Connor..."

"Yes," cuts in Giles. "He's told us that Willow slapped Tara."

"It's not that simple Giles. Willow really regrets it, in fact she regrets the whole fight," said Dawn. "What about Tara? How is she?"

"She's hurting and she's mad," answered Connor.

"Do you think there is anyway we can get them speaking again Giles?" said Dawn.

"I don't know, maybe we should back off for awhile, let them blew off steam before we try any thing else," said Giles

"The wedding is in four days," warned Angel "Shouldn't we try and make sure they are on speaking terms by then."

"I understand what you are saying Angel but I really think we should give them at least a couple of days to get over this. Maybe we've tried to force the issue to much," said Giles.

"I'll keep my eye on Tara tomorrow anyway," said Connor. "We are training together at the Magic Box."

The next morning Dawn knocks on Willow's bedroom door "Will are you up?"

"Yeah, come in Dawn," said Willow,

"What did Giles say?" said Willow.

"He said that maybe we should stop trying to push you two together and that you could do with some space," said Dawn.

"Oh," said Willow. "So it really does look like I have blown any chance of at least becoming Tara's friend again."

"I could tell you where Tara will be all day," said Dawn coyly.

"Where?" asked Willow jumping to her feet.

"I don't know if I should tell you," said Dawn.

"Dawn," said Willow sharply.

"Okay, okay I'll tell you but only if you promise that you will play nice and not lose your temper this time," said Dawn.

"Dawn," said Willow again.

"I mean it. I want you to promise me," said Dawn.

"Okay I promise that I will not lose my temper. I just want to go and say sorry and try to be friends with her," said Willow

"Nothing more?" said Dawn

"Dawn, it would make me happy just to have her friendship at the moment to hope for anything else..." sighed Willow "I don't know if it would be possible. Now tell me where will she be?"

"At the Magic Box training with Connor," said Dawn.

Tara had got to the Magic Box before Connor and she exchanged a few pleasantries with Anya before entering the training room. She was already dressed in her training gear; a pair of black kick pants and a white vest t-shirt.

She went straight into her stretching routine feeling good as she could feel the loosening and the blood starting to flow into her muscles.

"Hi Tar, you've really worked on your flexibility," said Connor as he arrived.

"Hey that's not fair I was always quite flexible," said Tara. "I'm going to practice my katas while you stretch."

"Is Tara and Connor in there?" asked Willow.

"Yeah they're training," said Anya. "The dresses have arrived I need you to come round to the apartment for one last fitting tonight."

"Sure," replied Willow going to the door of the training room.

She stood on the threshold of the training room watching Tara train, she wasn't sure of the technicalities but she watched mesmerized by the blonde's movements. She looked so graceful and her movements were so fluid as she spun, jumped, kicked and punched her away through her routine. It struck Willow that it didn't seem to matter what Tara did she made it look beautiful and graceful.

Tara stopped and grabbed a bottle of water. Willow took the opportunity to announce her presence.

"Hi," said the hacker nervously.

Connor turned and looked in surprise to see Willow standing there "I'm not up for a repeat of last night so can you go away and let us train."

"Connor, I'm sorry about last night but I need to talk to Tara alone," said Willow.

"That's up to Tara," said the young man folding his arms.

"It's okay Connor," said Tara.

"I'll be just outside if you want me," he replied.

She nodded and he left the room.

Willow cleared her throat, she was very nervous "I've just come to say I'm so sorry about the things I said last night and I can't tell you how bad I feel about striking you."

"I've had worse," said Tara gruffly.

"That's all I wanted to say," said Willow and turned to leave.

Tara bursts out laughing "Will, come here. We couldn't have messed this up much worse if we had tried. Could we?"

The redhead gave a relieved smile. "Not really."

"I am truly sorry for what I said too and by the way," said the blonde with her trademark-crooked smile. "I didn't fake anything the other night."

"I know," said Willow. "I'll go and leave you and Connor to train. I think we still have a lot of things to sort out but I do want us to be friends. Do you think it's possible?"

Tara's hand goes to Willow's upper arm and pulled her in close, her troubled blue eyes searching the hacker's green "It's what I want. I don't want to be fighting with you Will. I've got this horrible tense feeling within me all the time and I just want to relax and enjoy myself."

"Tara," said Willow finding the touch and the look in those beautiful blue eyes almost to intense to stand "You know I still care about you so much. I wish...I don't know sometime there just seems to be to many regrets in my life.

Willow pulled away finally no longer stand the intensity of her feelings. "Are you going to Anya's tonight."

"Yes," said Tara.

"I'll see you there then," said Willow

"Okay," said Tara then darting forward she places a small kiss on Willow's cheek." I did mean what I said at the airport. It is good to see you again."

Part 9

"Do we really have to wear these?" whispered Tara to Buffy

"Hey, if you think these are bad you should have seen the ones for the original wedding," said Buffy.

"Bad?" said Tara

Buffy just shuddered in response.

"Wow," said Anya "You all look so beautiful I can't wait until the wedding. Does everybody want to get changed now. We don't want to mess up the dresses do we?"

"No, can't be doing that," whispered Cordy.

"Tara, can I speak to you a second?" asked Anya.

"Sure," said Tara. "What's up?"

"Will you be my matron of honor?" asked Anya.

"Of course sweetie. It will be a real honor, thank you," said Tara. "But don't you want someone who you see more often?"

"I talk to you all the time and I still think of you as my best friend, so I can't think of anyone better," replied Anya.

"Okay," said Tara genuinely touched by the ex-demons request.

Willow laid a hand on Tara's shoulder as Anya walked away "It's just as well we are talking what with me being best man and all."

"I didn't think it is absolutely necessary for best man and matron of honor to be friends," teased Tara.

"Maybe not, but I do believe they have to flirt a lot," replied Willow winking at Tara.

"Is that so Miss Rosenberg," said Tara "Willow are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"Well I have some work to do in the morning but I'm free in the afternoon. Why?" asked Willow.

"I thought we might spend some time together. You now catch up and talk a little," replied Tara "If you don't w-want to it doesn't really matter." "No, no it'll be good," said Willow quickly before Tara talked herself out of the idea. "Where do you want to meet?"

"Uhm, just call at my hotel when you are ready," said Tara

"Why are you meeting her?" enquired Connor as he and Tara went for an early morning swim in the hotel swimming pool.

"I just want to clear the air," answered Tara.

"I thought you did that yesterday," counters Connor.

"Conn, we still have a lot to talk about," said Tara "We've been apart for so long. I want to catch up; find out what she's been doing."

"So you're just going to forgive her everything, everything she did to you," said Connor with an incredulous look on his face. "I know when I went to Cornwall you helped me, but I remember the pain you were in too. I know how long it has taken you to rebuild your life and you're just going to go out with her like nothing happened."

"Connor it's not that simple..."

"You mean you are still in love with her and if you can you're going to go back with her," said the young man angrily "Tara she'll just hurt you again, can't you see that? She slapped you," he added weakly.

"And I provoked her. I've forgiven her, so you should forget it," said Tara simply.

"Why do you have to do that?" asked Connor "Be so God damn nice."

"What's the point of being bitter? It's just a negative emotion and I don't have time for negativity," said Tara. "We are not getting back together, we are just going to be friends."

"Yeah right" retorts Connor. "'Cause you sleep with all your friends."

"Enough Connor. I don't want to hear another word," said Tara her patience with the young man slipping away.

"Fine," he said getting out the pool. "But when she hurts you don't expect me to be a shoulder to cry on." And with those words he storms off.

"Great," said Tara to herself. "Just one more thing I can do without."

Willow impatiently finished the program she had been writing, not that the work she was doing was taxing, it just paid the bills but she wanted to meet Tara as soon as possible.

It surprised her the blonde had asked for this. She was quite curious about the things Tara had done whilst she had been in England and she felt the excitement rise within her as she made way to the hotel.

Tara's bedside phone rang " Dr Maclay there is a Miss Rosenberg waiting for you in the lobby," said the voice on the other end of the line.

"Good tell her I'll be down in a second," said Tara.

Tara smiles as she sees Willow standing in the lobby looking a little shy and lost "Hi Will, have you had lunch yet?"

"No," confesses the hacker "I just came straight over to see you."

"Well the hotel restaurant is excellent. I'll treat you if you want." replies Tara.

"Are you sure?" asked Willow.

"Yeah, I'll charge it on expenses to the council," grinned the witch.

They were shown to a quiet table and order their food.

"How's it working out for you being a watcher?" asked Willow

"It's nothing special to be honest, I think in away they wish Giles and I weren't there, but they can't get rid of us because of our connection to Buffy, plus we are about the only ones fighting monsters in Britain," said Tara.

"You've moved on so much with you life, living with Giles in a foreign country and you a doctor now and once again I find myself telling someone that I'm still here, in the same old Sunnydale," said Willow.

"Doesn't mean you haven't changed," replied Tara.

Willow stared at Tara surprised at they way she had used the exact words Oz had all those years ago and the memories of the start of her relationship with Tara came flooding back to her. Tara was so different now, a confident woman, not the shy wallflower Willow had fallen in love and she found herself keener than ever to get to know this person that was sitting in front of her. The fact that she was absolutely gorgeous and sexy was a huge help too, Willow admitted to herself.

"Will are you okay?" said Tara pulling the redhead out her revelry.

"Yeah, so apart from fight monsters what do you do with your free time in England?" asked Willow.

"Well I do martial arts as you've seen, I've bought myself a horse and I do a lot of riding, plus I have to look after Giles," smiled Tara.

"Has there been anyone else?" asked Willow nervously just wanting to get the question out.

"No, not really. You?" said Tara.

"No one could replace you," said Willow.

They held each other's gaze for a second not really sure what to say.

"Would you like to order dessert?" asked the waitress breaking the spell between them.

"No thank you," said Tara. "Willow?"

"No," answered the redhead. "Do you want go anywhere this afternoon."

Feeling the pull that she did towards Willow had scarred her slightly and Connor's words of caution kept reverberating in the back of her head. "Willow can I give it a rain check, it must be the jet lag but every now and then this tiredness seems to catch up with me."

"O-okay," said Willow a little disappointed.

"Tomorrow if you want," said Tara feeling a complete coward again.

" 'Kay, I'll phone," said Willow and kissed Tara softly on the cheek before she left.

Part 10

Tara went up to her room not sure why she had just ducked out of spending time with Willow. The lunch had been so much fun, in fact she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so comfortable and at home with someone. She knew Giles was at the Magic Box and decided to go and talk to him.

"Hey I thought you were going to gone all afternoon," said Buffy. "You two didn't have another fight," she added seeing the glum face of her buddy.

"No" said Willow. "She bought me lunch..."

"Well that's got to be good doesn't it?" said Buffy cutting in.

"Then she made some excuse about being tired and went. I don't know Buffy we seemed to be having so much fun and I don't know if I was too pushy or something." Said Willow.

"Will, it's not going to be easy for either of you. Just give her time, at least you two are talking which is more than you've done for the last five years," said Buffy.

"I suppose... it's just this week has started off with such total disasters...I don't know. Buffy, I've never stopped loving her you know," said Willow.

"I know, but do you now how she feels?" asked Buffy.

"I'm too scared to ask. I don't want to blow it. I mean what if she just doesn't want to know?" said Willow

"It's a chance you've got to take," answered Buffy. "I mean you've let her go for five years; it hasn't exactly worked out for you has it?"

"I've been okay," said Willow

"Yeah sure you have" laughed Buffy. "You may have got a good degree and a highly paid job but what do you do apart from work and help me? You haven't even come close to having a girlfriend since Tara left."

"How could I...I mean how do you go about it? Hi so and so, you seem really nice how would like to be involved in my little dangerous world, you may have fun but there is always a chance that you may be killed, be attacked by a hell god and turned crazy or even better my addictive personality might reassert it's self and I'll make your life hell," said Willow panting slightly as she finished her rant.

"That had nothing to do with being with someone new did it?" asked Buffy. "I think you have just given all the reasons why you think Tara won't be interested in you again."

"Maybe Buffy, but I hurt her and we never really sorted anything. How do I know what she really thinks?" said Willow.

"Well I suggest the radical plan of asking her," said Buffy.

"Easier said than done Buffy. What if she thinks I'm trying to crowd her or something? I don't want to scare her off," said Willow.

"And are you forgetting she goes back to England in just over a week? You have to do something soon if you want her," said Buffy.

Well that is another thing, what am I supposed to say? You've built a great new life for yourself in England but I want you to give it up and come back and live on a Hellmouth," said Willow. "What an offer, what woman could resist that?"

"Will, it's up to you. I think you should go for it or you may spend another five years regretting letting her go again." said Buffy.

"I thought you said I should give her some time," said Willow.

"I'm allowed to change my mind," said Buffy. "Now we've got some planning to do; the seduction of Dr Maclay by Willow Rosenberg"

"Buffy," said Willow in mild protest. "And anyway I've already managed to do that." added the redhead with a wicked grin on her face.

"I meant of a more permanent arrangement than last time," said Buffy giving the grinning hacker a mild look of disapproval. "Lets set to work."

Tara arrives at the Magic Box and a soon as she arrived she could hear Xander and Anya arguing, it always amazed her the way they could live like that with their constant bickering. She spotted Giles cringing in a corner desperately trying not to be drawn into the fight.

"Giles can I talk to you a moment?" asked Tara. "Privately in the training room"

"Yes," said Giles looking relived at being pulled away from what was threatening to be an all out war between the soon to be newly weds. "What is it?"

"Willow," replied Tara.

"What's she done now?" said Giles.

"Nothing" said Tara "In fact we had a nice lunch together"

"So your problem is?" said Giles.

"I wanted her. I mean really wanted her, but we haven't really talked about anything that happened before or since. I mean how do I know I can trust her? I know her power is gone but she knew what Glory had done to me but still went ahead and interfered with my mind. How do you forgive someone something like that?" asked Tara.

"I can't answer those questions for you Tara," said Giles." The only thing I can say is that I have seen a lot of Willow these past five years and she's changed and what I mean by that is she's tried to cure herself of all those destructive qualities she had in the past. What I would suggest is just spend a little time with her get to know her again. Use your own judgment."

"Is it worth it though Giles?" said Tara "I'll be going back to England soon and to be honest I don't think I want to change my life to the point that I would have to move back here."

Giles gave the blonde a long stare. "Aren't you running before you can walk? You're not necessarily planning a life long commitment, just friendship or maybe just a little romance. Take it easy, it might lead to something more but don't put to much pressure on yourself or her for that matter. I know this one of those things people say and they can't tell you how to do it but have fun."

"Fun, I think, I remember fun" said the witch softly. "Connor said she'd just hurt me again"

"And at 21 and only five of those years spent on this dimension Connor is the great relationship expert because?" asked Giles.

Tara smiled at Giles. "I wish you were my real father. You always seem to manage to say the right thing."

"Tara, I couldn't love you more if you were my own flesh and blood," said the older man with great sincerity. "And I think it's time you let yourself be happy."

Part 11

Tara sat in her room reading but her eyes kept being drawn towards her travel clock. It was 4.30 in the afternoon and Willow still hadn't contacted her, maybe she had blown it by being so reticent the day before.

The phone rang and her heart leapt.

"Hi Wi...oh Buffy," said Tara the disappointment evident in her voice.

"Tara, I'm sorry I should have phoned earlier, Willow had to go to Seattle on business. She said she would see you at the rehearsal and the dinner," said the slayer.

"Okay," said Tara.

"Tara," said Buffy. "Before you go can I ask you a question?"

"Wow that sounds ominous but fire away," said the witch.

"Do you still like Will?" asked Buffy.

"Of course I do," answered Tara.

"No, what I mean is do you think you two still have a future together?" said Buffy.

Tara sighed slightly "Buffy I don't know, I don't want to think that far ahead, but I do know that I still feel a lot for her. Why?"

"No reason," said the slayer smiling to herself at the other end of the phone. "Anyway I'll see you at the rehearsal and rest assured at least this time Xander's family haven't been invited to the wedding."

"Were they really that bad?" asked Tara

"Oh yeah," said Buffy shuddering at the memory of Xander and Anya's disastrous first attempt at a wedding. "See you."

"Bye Buffy," said Tara.

"Hurry up Will," said Buffy. "We've go to get you ready for the rehearsal."

"Buffy, I've just got off the plane. I was thinking of phoning Xander and asking if he really needed me there; I'm just so tired."

"No you've got to go," said Buffy.

Willow gave Buffy a long stare "Why?"

"Look, I talked to Tara and I think you are in with a good chance," said Buffy. "Fred and I have picked out some clothes and we are ready to give you a make over when I get you home"

"Buffy, what did you say?" asked Willow.

"Nothing much, but I know you she still likes you and I think you should go all out to impress. Come on Will what harm can it do?" said Buffy grinning at the hacker.

The rehearsal went well and the wedding party went back to the hotel where Giles had paid for the dinner as his wedding present to the young couple, but as he kept stressing to everyone he bought the first lot of wine for the table and then the rest of the drinks they would be coughing up for themselves.

Willow looked stunning having been dressed in a dusty pink dress with very soft and subdued makeup.

Tara found herself sat between Fred and Willow and was starting to feel like she had been sat between two nervous machine guns with words being lined up and shot at her. She decided maybe it was time to assert herself into the conversation. "So Will how was uhm business?"

"Fine, this bank wanted us to look at their non-existent security. Why we had to go to their head quarters I don't know and they expect us to help them with software when the problem is that their hardware belongs in the last century...and you are starting to lose interest aren't you," said Willow.

"No, well, I suppose a little," said Tara. "You know I never was a computer person"

"Hey, I've seen your laptop; very state of the art," said Willow laughing.

Tara smiled "I use it as a convenient, intelligent word processor."

"Now that is an abuse of the machine you own," said Willow still laughing and rolling her eyes.

"Will," said Tara suddenly serious. "You look good tonight, that color really suits you"

Willow looked embarrassed "You really think so?"

"I do," said the blonde witch.

"Fred and Buffy dressed me. Well when I say dress I meant they helped me choose out my clothes," said Willow blushing an even brighter color of red.

"I've got that," said Tara finding Willow's discomfiture quite endearing.

"You always look good. Hell did I say that out loud?" said the hacker.

"I'm afraid so," said Tara. "Is this what you meant by the best man has to flirt with the matron of honor?"

"Hey that's not fair. You started flirting first," pouted Willow.

Tara leant close into Willow and whispered in her ear "I wasn't flirting."

Willow swallowed hard and looked into a pair of smoky, sexy blue eyes "You are still so beautiful. I don't understand how I could let you go"

"Maybe because you were too busy overdosing on magic to notice what you had," said a very drunk Connor appearing behind them.

"Connor, I've told you this is not your concern," said Tara.

"Nothing in your life is ever my concern. Is it?" said the young man.

"Connor please..."

"Tara I love you. I would never have hurt you the way she did," said Connor now shouting at the top his voice, he turned to Willow "I know she will never be mine but if you hurt again I will kill you, I swear."

"Connor calm down," said Fred and puts her arm on his shoulder

He shrugs her off "This has nothing to do with you Fred. You know nothing of what happened. She wiped her mind; she took her memories and now look at them making eyes at one another like nothing went on."

"Connor that was along time ago. Please, you're drunk just go to bed before you do or say something that you'll regret," said Tara desperately trying to calm the agitated young man down.

"What the truth. I forgot we're not supposed to tell that, are we..."

Angel grabbed hold of his son and pulled him away. "I apologize ladies. I will take him upstairs to bed."

"Leave me alone," said Connor throwing his father off him but Buffy had anticipated this and was on hand to subdue the super strong youngster.

Angel once again mouthed "Sorry," as he and Buffy dragged Connor away.

"Well I thought we wouldn't have any fighting if we didn't invite Xander's family," said Anya mournfully.

"Sorry," said Tara.

"Don't worry it's not your fault," said Anya. "But someone is going to have to keep him away from Guinness tomorrow."

"I think that better be left between Buffy and Angel," said Gunn. "I don't think anyone else could control him."

"Anyway the desserts haven't come round yet so do we think we can enjoy what's left of the dinner," said Giles.

"I think I'll skip it," said Willow. "I'm a bit wiped out after my trip and I want to be fresh for tomorrow so that I can stop Xander making a break for it"

"He better not" said Anya "Or this time..."

"Ahn she's just joking" said Xander.

Willow used the cover of the arguing duo to make a quick and quiet exit.

"Will, you were leaving without saying goodbye" said Tara following behind her.

"I thought it was best," said the hacker "You know after..."

"Look ignore Connor, he was just drunk," said Tara.

"Maybe, but he was right about one thing I've got no right to expect you just to forget everything," Willow laughed bitterly to herself. "Forget. Do you know there is not a day goes by when I don't regret the use of that one word?"

"Will, I know. I'm only here for one more week and I've decided that I would like to enjoy as much of it as possible and the best way I can think of enjoying myself is being with you. If you don't mind?" said Tara

Willow's face lit up "Honest, you really want to spend some time with me."

"I do," said Tara. She moved close to Willow gathered her in her arms and kissed her gently "Tomorrow."

Tara turned and walked back into the restaurant leaving Willow standing grinning into space.

Part 12

Tara had resisted Anya's suggestion of staying at the apartment; instead she had elected to stay in the hotel and met the rest of the wedding party at the hall just before the service. She had argued with Anya that she could manage to dress on her own.

She knew someone was standing outside her door and she knew who it was. She waited in trepidation for the knock. She opened the door. "Connor I'm too busy for round 2."

Connor goes to enter the room and noted with a great deal of shame how Tara jumped back from him looking slightly fearful. "I've come to apologize for last night. I was really drunk and I'm sorry."

Tara sighed "Connor, you've got to realize I'm a big girl now and I don't need you to run my life for me and one other thing if you really want to get into my good books, I want you to say sorry to Willow."

"Tara," said the young man with a slight whine in his voice.

"No I mean it if you want to make things right between us you have to apologize to her and I mean it," said Tara.

"But Tara, she did hurt you," said Connor.

"Connor I'm not going through it again. The subject is closed and I'll say this to you once more but in a little stronger terms if you still want to remain my friend apologize to Willow. Now leave because I need to change," said Tara and pushed a stunned Connor out the door."

"Buffy, Willow," said Anya. "Are you ready yet"

"Okay," said Willow to Buffy "Who let Anya into the house."

"It was probably Dawn. If we stay quiet maybe she'll go away," giggled Buffy. "We're just about ready Anya, we'll be down in a few seconds."

"Oh well here goes, do you think Xander will go through with it this time?" Asked Willow.

"He will, either that or I will drag him up the aisle this time," said Buffy. "Yeah, I think they're more grown up this time, so I think it'll work and talking of things more grown up how about you and Tara, you seemed really close last night."

"It's going good Buffy. I don't want to get to excited but she kissed me last night and I had that fluttery feeling in my stomach and I felt just like a kid again," said Willow.

"She kissed you, how did I miss that?" exclaimed Buffy.

"You were taking the avenger of her honor upstairs to bed to sleep off his drinking binge," explained Willow.

"C'mon I don't want to be late," said an impatient Anya. "It's bad enough that all of us didn't get ready together but if I'm late Xander might think I've dumped him and run away again."

"Anya we have two hours to get to the place so don't worry," said Buffy.

"Don't worry; we have to collect Tara and Cordelia from the hotel, make sure the flowers are okay and check the caterers..."

"Anya, Giles is already there, you have nothing to worry about," said Willow.

Willow was proved right and the wedding went without a hitch. Anya was looked radiant, Xander stumbled through his vows but they got there in the end. They had decided against a sit down meal and instead had a finger buffet and a disco.

"Hey Tara" said Gunn. " Do you want to dance?"

"Sure why not," laughed the witch.

"Why has your husband stolen my dancing partner?" asked Willow who had just returned from the rest room.

"You've been monopolizing her all night and I want you to spill the beans," said Fred.

"There's nothing to tell," giggled Willow. "Well not yet anyway."

"Willow can I speak to you a moment," said Connor

"Connor I'm not sure..."

"It's okay Fred I'm not looking for trouble," said Connor. "I just need to talk to Willow."

"Okay I'm listening," said the redhead warily.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things to you yesterday," said Connor.

"Did Tara tell you to apologize?" asked Willow

"Yes," admitted Connor.

"So you don't really mean it," said Willow

"Actually I've been thinking about all day, I do mean it. Willow I'm as jealous as hell over you, but I want Tara to be happy and I think you are the only person who can make her happy so if you two are going to be together I'm going to have to get on with you," said the young man.

"I accept your apology Connor," said Willow.

"Good, but one thing I meant, if you hurt her again, I will kill you" said Connor

"Connor I promise you I will never hurt her again, not intentionally anyway, I love her in fact I don't think I have ever not been in love with her," said Willow.

Tara came up from behind them and wrapped her arms round Willow. "Hey You."

"Hey Tara, enjoy yourself with Gunn?" said Willow.

"Yeah he's a nice guy. What have you two been talking about?" asked the blonde.

"Connor's just been saying how sorry his about last night," said Willow.

"Is that true?" asked Tara.

"It is," said Connor. "Anyway I'm going to leave you two on your own and Dawn has promised me a dance."

They watched him walk away "I'm glad he said sorry to you," said Tara.

"Actually I don't blame him for the things he said. He's just in love with you and I can sort of relate to that," said Willow turning round to face Tara.

"Will I..." Tara stopped entranced by the beautiful green eyes looking into her own. She reached up with her hand and pushed a lock of red hair off Willow's face.

The D.J had changed the pace and had started to put some slow songs on. Willow led Tara onto the dance floor and they started to dance a bone achingly seductive dance together, their bodies matching one another's pace and molding into one. Tara dipped her head and starts to kiss Willow slowly and gently just brushing her lips against the hacker's barely touching.

Willow tried to deepen the kiss but Tara broke away "This is too much, we made the mistake before, if we carry on I'm going to want sleep with you."

"Tara what's wrong with that," said the panting hacker.

"You know what's wrong, we've let passion over take us before..."

"You mean you just want us to be friends," said Willow

"No that is not what I mean at all. I just want us to take it slow, enjoy being with one another," said Tara. "And I think I'm falling in love with you all over again"

Willow started to cry, "I didn't think I would ever hear those words from your lips again"

"Will have you got to work next week?" asked Tara.

"I can put anything off for you," said Willow

"Do you want to hang?" said Tara.

"For sure, try and keep me away," said Willow.

The next week the two of them couldn't be separated. They did everything together; they went to movies, had picnics and Tara even managed to get Willow on a horse. The time went so fast it took them both by surprise when they realized it was time for Tara to go back to England.

They stood at the airport both of them not sure what to say to the other. Tara embraced Willow. "I'm going to miss you."

"I wish you weren't going," said Willow

"I know but I have to go," said Tara.

Willow bit her lip holding back so much that she felt inside but she had decided that there was no way she could ask Tara to stay on a Hellmouth.