To Live Again by Kinetic-Kid

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Definitely no money being made. All characters belong to Joss Whedon and ME. I own nothing except whatever characters I may make up for this story.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
Kinetic-Kid's Site: http://www.kinetic-kid.com
Oh yeah, anywhere, anytime. Just make sure I get credit and let me know where it is.
Feedback: Please Please PLEASE. I live for feedback. I get irritable and upset if I don't get any and I might not continue writing. Of course, if you don't like the story and think it sucks you may not want me to continue!
Spoilers: Come on! Surely you've seen every episode multiple times!
Author's Notes: This is an Alternate Universe!
Pairing: Buffy/Tara

Summary: The Scoobies have grown apart.

"Damn it, Giles!" Buffy growls as she throws her hands up in the air. "I can deal with it. You don't exactly have the extra manpower here handy to send someone after the demon. And tell me the truth, would you want one of these young kids to do it, or would you prefer me to be the one there?"

Giles sighs heavily as he stares at his original and oldest slayer. "This demon is extremely wily and dangerous, Buffy. I'd prefer no one to take it on by themselves."

"Unfortunately we don't have that luxury this time, Giles. Everyone is out on other missions. We can't send out the new slayers, they don't have the experience. I'll go, kick its ass and come back." Buffy smirks as Giles narrows his eyes at her. "I'm taking it seriously, Giles. I promise, now get me a plane ticket to Oxymoron or whatever the hell the place is called."

"Oxvattnet. It's in Sweden. It's the last place it was reported being seen." Giles rolls his eyes, realizing that Buffy would never change. "There's a small Coven in Fredrika, which isn't very far away. If you should get into any kind of trouble, or need help, they're the ones that contacted us about this."

"'Kay." Buffy nods her head. "Same ol' thing. Get me in the country, get me hooked up and I get to go hunting." Buffy grins.

Giles laughs quietly, looking at the excited slayer, knowing that once she gets there she'll be all business, but her excitement making her look almost like the young girl she used to be. Giles remembered when she'd showed up roughly three years after the collapse of Sunnydale, the slayer leaning against the doorframe, grinning at him. Telling him she'd had enough fun sightseeing, and wanted to kick some demon ass.

"We'll fly you in as close as we can, after that your best bet is going to be to rent a motorcycle or a scooter of some sort." Giles admits quietly. "Where you're going through is a lot of small villages, more than anything. I'm not even sure if there are roads to some of these places, so you'll probably have better luck with a motorbike of some sort."

Buffy rolls her eyes, sighing heavily. "I guess it's a good thing I can ride one halfway decently now."

"I dare say." Giles quirks his lip as she smacks him gently on the arm. "Let me go get the preparations taken care of. Make sure you pack warm clothes." Giles calls after the quickly departing slayer.

"Yeah, I've been in Sweden before, Giles. I know it's colder than just about anywhere I've ever been. About froze my ass off the last time I was there." Buffy waves, as she trots up the stairs to her room.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Buffy growls as she drops her backpack, looking at the tracks that seemed to disappear right in front of her. "Wily bastard. They're tricky, strong and have a sixth sense for when they're being tracked. He didn't fucking tell me they could literally disappear!" Buffy eyes the area, trying to see where the demon could have gone.

Kneeling on the ground where the last of the large tracks were, Buffy frowns as the sky slowly darkens. "Great, nighttime coming on, demon disappearing on me and I haven't found somewhere to hole up yet. Smart, Buffy, real smart." Buffy stands, brushing her knees off as she grabs up the backpack, throwing it over her shoulder as she heads back to where she remembers a rock outcropping that would afford a decent amount of coverage from the elements.

Having been tracking the demon for the last week, she feels likes she's closer than she's ever been before. Grabbing a power bar out of her pocket, she quickly gobbles it down as she works her way closer to where the rock cropping should be when she feels her spidey senses shooting off the charts. Grabbing out a knife and dropping the backpack as she drops low to the ground spinning around, she grunts as she's slammed into the ground.

Hearing the loud growling in her ear at the same time fists that feel like concrete blocks slam into her sides, Buffy gathers all of her strength to push up off the ground, trying to dislodge the demon.

"Not this time, you fucking bastard." Buffy snarls as she ducks a fist and slams a knife in the demon's stomach. Wincing as the demon screams in pain even as he grabs her and tosses her thirty yards into a tree. Blinking and shaking her head from where she's seeing triple of everything, Buffy tries to stand, screaming out in pain and collapsing on the ground as her leg literally collapses on her, obviously broken, the bone sticking out from her pants.

Grabbing her leg, she tries to look around for something to protect herself with as her backpack's still where she'd dropped it. Shaking her head again as the fuzziness tries to take over Buffy raises a hand to wipe across her forehead, frowning when it feels wet and sticky. Pulling her hand down, she groans at the blood-covered fingers.

Hearing the deep growling coming closer, Buffy tries to focus in on the demon, seeing the obvious anger and death in it's eyes, she swallows as she sees the end of her life flashing through her mind as the demon grabs her and starts shaking her like a rag doll, slamming her into the tree.

"I'm worried about my slayer. I would have thought I would have heard back from her by now." Giles explains worriedly into the phone, talking to the head of the Coven in Fredrika.

"One of our young women is excellent at locator spells. She's actually been with us for the past six almost seven years. I'll have her see if she can locate your missing slayer." Ingrid explains softly as she reaches for a notepad, making a quick note and handing it to one of her sister Coven members.

"I'd appreciate your help in any way you can." Giles breathes out a sigh of relief. "If there is anything I can do, please let me know."

"As soon as we find anything, we'll let you know, Mr. Giles." Ingrid explains softly, the worry obvious in her voice.

"Thank you." Giles sighs heavily as he places the phone down, staring out the window. "Don't do this to me, Buffy." He growls quietly as he runs a shaky hand through his hair wondering if he should contact Dawn to let her know her sister is missing, or wait until he has more information.

Deciding to wait and see what happens, Giles reaches into his bottom drawer, pulling out a bottle of scotch and pouring it in his mug, downing it as he stares out at the night.

"Sister?" Bridgette looks at the woman studying in the corner of the room. Handing the note to her she watches as the blue eyes of her Coven member reads over the note, the woman paling considerably before hopping up and running out of the room. Bridgette stares stunned, never having seen the woman move that quickly or show that much emotion since she'd arrived here at the Coven.

Ingrid looks up from her desk, staring into fiery blue eyes, seeing a passion in the depths that she's never seen before. Not knowing if it was the fact of someone being hurt, or if there was some deeper reason, she slowly nods her head. "Fine, but they're leaving out in ten minutes, you better be prepared."

"Already am." The words are growled lowly as the blonde spins around on her heel, the backpack visible over her shoulder as she leaves the room.

"Well, what the hell brought this on?" Ingrid questions the now empty room, staring in contemplation at the empty doorway. Curiously she looks down at the phone number for Rupert Giles at the head of the New Watcher's Council. Slowly picking up the phone, she dials the number.

Giles sets down the phone, swallowing hard as his hands shake uncontrollably. "Dear, Lord. She's alive? She never died." Giles runs a shaky hand through his thin hair, staring at the door to his office as he wonders what this means. It having taken Ingrid the better part of two hours discussing with him on the phone to make him realize that there was no way the young woman that had come to their Coven was false. Once she told him the exact dates and the cryptic comments the woman had told her, there was no doubt in his mind that the person that had been in their midst was not the woman the group had come to know and love.

"What is this going to mean?" Giles questions the empty office, sighing deeply before dropping his head on his desk as he decides to not think about that and worry instead about what might be happening with Buffy.

Buffy whimpers quietly as she slowly drags her way towards her backpack, feeling multiple bones grating against each other as she tries to make it to food and water, the demon having left her for dead.

Passing out, the slayer is unaware of the time passing until she feels a warm hand stroking softly over her cheek, bringing her back to consciousness. Forcing her eyes open, she stares up into blue eyes, blinking as she tries to bring them more into focus, trying to figure out why they look familiar.

"Don't move. We're going to get you in stable enough shape so we can take you back to the Coven. Then we're going to fix you up and you're going to tell me why the hell you came after the Krinakill demon by yourself, you stupid, stubborn slayer."

"We need to set her leg and bandage it. I don't see how she's still alive." Christina admits softly as she and one of the other members prepare to set Buffy's leg as well as they can.

Wincing at the sight of the bone sticking out of the slayer's jeans leg, Tara looks down into pain filled hazel eyes. "Oh, Buffy. What have you done to yourself, sweetie?"

"Hallucinating…you're dead…" Buffy mumbles, coughing up some blood while trying to hold her ribs.

"Shhh." Tara whispers a spell to knock Buffy out as she quickly wraps some bandages around the slayer's head, before working down the slayer's body as the other members work on Buffy's leg. Pulling out a wide ace bandage, Tara looks at the other members. "I'm lifting her to wrap her ribs."

They shift and nod, waiting for Tara to lift Buffy off the ground before they quickly work on finishing bandaging the slayer's leg.

"Goddess! Even with your slayer healing, it's going to take you a while to get well from this, Buffy." Tara whispers as she quickly binds the slayer's ribs as another member slides the board under Buffy for them to carry the woman back to the Coven.

"Let's get her back quickly." Christina grasps one of the handles as she watches the other three women grab a handle as they lift Buffy quickly before taking off through the woods towards their Coven, the four women keeping an eye out for the demon, not knowing if it's still alive or not.

Ingrid looks into the room, watching curiously as Tara gently washes the slayer, the caring obvious with each tender movement. Having spoken with Giles, she'd been surprised and shocked when she'd found out that Tara had been part of the group of friends that had permanently closed the Hellmouth in California. The shock and surprise turning to a heart stopping fear as Giles had further explained that the 'Tara Maclay' that stayed there had been shot through the heart and killed, sending Willow Rosenberg into a depth of despair unknown before. Every leader of each Coven was aware of how close the world had come to ending that terrible, tragic day. The more they had discussed what had happened, and things became clearer for both of them after one of their many discussions, they had finally figured out that The First, for whatever reason, had tried to infiltrate the group by using the imitation.

They had figured that The First had tried to use the information he gathered to get inside the heads of the Scoobies, but both of them agreed that The First hadn't wanted his version of Tara to go out the way she had. Neither one of them sure that the Tara that had died knew she wasn't, in fact, the real Tara Maclay.

Biting her lip she considers Tara as she watches her clean Buffy's wounds and changes the bandages of the still unconscious slayer. Since they had come back with her, Tara hadn't left her side and had insisted on being the one to take care of her. Slowly stepping into the room, Ingrid watches as Tara lifts her head slightly and turns to look at her before continuing with what she's doing.

"You need to take care of yourself, also, Tara." Ingrid whispers softly as Tara finally finishes replacing the bandages around the slayer's thigh.

"I ate earlier." Tara pulls the sheets and blankets back up over the naked slayer, the woman having so many wounds, that it was decided that it would be easier to keep her naked instead of trying to peel off clothes to change the bandages, or to check her wounds.

"But you need sleep and a shower would not go amiss, either." Ingrid hints subtly.

Tara raises her eyes, staring at the head of the Coven. "I'll take a shower, but I'll be coming back right afterwards."

Ingrid sighs heavily and nods as she walks into the room, sitting down in the chair Tara had vacated as she strode out of the room. Looking curiously at the slayer, Ingrid tilts her head. "You know, after she came here she never spoke about anything personal? Hell, even now, she doesn't talk except when absolutely necessary. I wondered if she wouldn't have been better served to be in a nunnery. But she is a very smart, powerful Wiccan, and now with you here, I see the person she should be. You had better get well, I fear for what will happen with her if you don't."

"How's my patient doing?" Doctor Sanders smiles softly at Tara as she makes her way towards the woman's room.

"She hasn't regained consciousness yet, but she's healing well." Tara offers quietly as she runs her hands through her damp hair, braiding it quickly and without thought, sighing at having been kicked out of Buffy's room once again by Ingrid.

"With the trauma she went through, I don't doubt that it might be another week before she becomes conscious." Sanders explains as she grasps Tara's shoulder gently. "She's going to make it, Tara. She has a strong spirit."

Tara nods her eyes distant. "She does, but it worries me that she hasn't regained consciousness yet." Tara follows the doctor into Buffy's room, watching as Ingrid quickly shifts from the chair, vacating it for Tara to take up her normal place.

Tara hesitates by the door, watching as the doctor checks Buffy's pupils before the knowledgeable woman quickly works her way over Buffy's wounds, pursing her lips as she presses gently on the slayer's abdomen, nodding and smiling softly as she works her way down to the slayer's leg.

Checking the splint on the woman's leg making sure it hasn't shifted, she gently eases the bandage away from the wound, where the slayer's leg bone had pierced the skin. Pulling the bandage completely away, she looks up at Tara. "This has healed wonderfully. Keep up with the antibiotic creams and make sure that the splint keeps her leg immobile so the bone has time to set properly. Everything else looks great. If you have any problems, let me know. Other than that, I think she's going to be fine."

"What about her not coming to?" Tara questions worriedly, looking at the slayer.

"Probably just her shutting down because of the damage she sustained. She'll wake up when she's ready." Doctor Sanders pats Tara gently on the shoulder as she follows the Coven leader out of the room. "Don't worry, Tara. She's going to be fine."

Tara sighs heavily as she walks back to her chair, pulling it up to the side of the slayer's bed, reaching down to pull up the blanket for added warmth before sitting down, looking over at the fireplace. Shaking her head she walks over to the fireplace and shifts the wood around placing a couple more logs on it. Kneeling in front of the fire, Tara stares into the flames as she thinks back to the time when she'd left Sunnydale.

Remembering Willow doing the forget spell on everyone, Dawn's rejection of her and the feeling of despair that had settled in her soul at the thought of the people she considered her family disowning her. Having left the Summers' residence that night, she'd gone to a hotel and considered her options, having finally pulled out the letter from her mother telling her to contact the Coven in Quebec, if she needed to get away from her family.

Knowing that her mother had meant her father and brother, but having come across the Scooby gang, them becoming her family and meaning more to her than her real father and brother ever could. Her heart breaking she'd contacted the head of the Coven and they had arranged for her to come there. When the Coven had closed not long after she'd arrived, and Christina, one of the members had decided to come to Sweden and the Coven here in Fredrika, Tara had decided to follow along, having the urge to get farther away from the United States.

When she'd heard about Sunnydale becoming a sinkhole, she'd become even more quiet and withdrawn, as she'd wondered if any of the people that she had come to know and love had made it out alive. But not knowing whom to contact after finding out that the Watcher's Council had blown up, she'd just cried herself to sleep, deciding to immerse herself in her craft.

When she'd read the note from Ingrid, naming Buffy Summers as the slayer that had been sent to take out the Krinakill demon and that she hadn't checked in with her Watcher and that Giles feared the worse, she'd felt her heart slam back in her chest at the thought of the petite slayer having lived through whatever happened in Sunnydale only to be killed not ten miles from where she was living.

A couple days earlier, when Ingrid had forced her out of the room for the third time, she'd dragged her to her office and made her sit down and eat while she explained what had happened in Sunnydale after she'd left. To say that she was stunned and shocked would be putting it mildly. As Ingrid had dialed Giles and handed her the phone before leaving her alone in the room to talk with the Watcher, she'd listened and answered questions on automatic, before finally breaking down and explaining everything she'd gone through from her point of view. From bringing Buffy back all the way through to her being where she's at right now.

To say the Watcher was stunned was putting it mildly, even with Willow having explained to him briefly what had happened between the two women. When she'd insisted on his not telling anyone where she was until she decided what she'd do, he'd quietly agreed.

Dropping her head as she looks at the fire, she thinks about the fact that Willow had moved on, and obviously was happy with the slayer she was living with in Brazil, if what Giles had said were true. Dawn was in college, planning on becoming a doctor. She feels a tear trickle down her cheek at the thought of Anya having been killed, and a surprising spark of happiness for Spike, who had gotten his soul, giving up his life to help defeat The First, to only come back and end up dying fighting off the demons that had come to earth when the tear between worlds that had briefly happened in LA. Smiling at the thought of Xander working around the world, helping to locate and bring new slayers in for training immersing himself in the job after Anya died.

Which brings her back to the woman lying unconscious behind her. Feeling her heart getting heavy at the thought of Buffy having almost died, yet again, Tara slowly stands and turns to walk towards the woman. Picking up the cup of beef broth, she sits down gently at the head of the bed, shifting Buffy gently up so she can get the slayer to a position to hopefully swallow some of the much-needed nourishment.

Tilting the cup up to the slayer's lips, Tara presses her cheek against the top of Buffy's head. "Please sweetie, you need the nourishment. I know you're getting the intravenous feeds, but I'd feel much better if you'd at least swallow some of this. I'd feel even better if you'd wake up and show me that you're getting well."

Buffy hears a soft, soothing voice whispering softly in her ear wanting her to wake up. Fighting against the darkness holding her, she makes her way to that soothing, calming sanctuary. The voice sounding so familiar and tantalizing that she can't help but want to make her way towards it.

Smelling something delicious, Buffy unconsciously opens her mouth, moaning as a warm, tasty liquid coats her dry mouth, trickling inside. Quickly swallowing, Buffy tries to get more in her mouth.

"Goddess…" Tara murmurs quietly, feeling the slayer starting to shift under her as she tries to get more of the broth. Holding her tightly with one arm, Tara tips the cup gently to the slayer's lips, allowing her small sips of the liquid. "Easy, Buffy. Don't take it down too quickly I don't know how it'll set on your stomach, sweetie."

Buffy sips some more as she listens to the voice, finally dragging her eyes open in shock as the soft tones and the word 'sweetie' strike home in her heart. Shifting her head quickly, she stares in stunned shock at Tara. Looking into the blue eyes she'd never imagined looking into again, it takes her a moment for it to sink in that Tara is there. Unconsciously, Buffy lifts her hand and touches her fingertips to Tara, not believing it isn't The First come back to haunt her. "You're real?"

"Very much so, sweetie." Tara grins crookedly at the slayer as she sees the confusion and wariness in the hazel eyes. "Trust me I don't think you can be as shocked as I was when I found out that I had supposedly died in Sunnydale." Tara admits quietly, her eyes looking over Buffy's face, her free hand unconsciously stroking over Buffy's stomach. "I'm afraid that I'm more in the know than you are right now. But let's get some more broth inside you. Then I can finally unhook the I.V. You've had me worried the last week."

Buffy holds the cup away from her lips as she shifts her upper body, looking intently at Tara for the longest time. "You didn't die?"

Tara swallows and shakes her head. "I left for Canada two days after leaving your house. Not long after that I came here." Tara explains softly, her eyes sad.

Buffy blinks as she tries to focus enough for the Wiccan's words to sink in her brain. Thinking back to the time in Sunnydale when The First had been impersonating everyone that had previously died, she realizes he had never impersonated Tara. If he had wanted to make Willow go off the deep end, one visit from Tara's ghost would have probably done it. Hell, if he'd impersonated Tara, he probably could have wiped out Willow and Dawn both. Without them, she would have probably followed quickly, then Xander. He would have won in a heartbeat. "That's why he wasn't able to impersonate you…you never died."

"No, it wasn't me, sweetie." Tara explains softly as she urges Buffy back around, placing the cup of broth back to the slayer's lips. "We'll discuss this later, Buffy. Try to sip some of this broth then I'll unhook your I.V."

Buffy nods slightly as she reaches her hand up, wrapping her hand around Tara's as she slowly sips the broth, letting her mind wander as everything that had happened after Tara had left, realizing her breakdown wasn't with Tara, but with the…fake? How the hell could such a perfect copy be made?

"Shhhh…" Tara places a soft kiss against the slayer's busy brain. "Stop thinking and just sip your broth. Then get some much-needed healing sleep. When you're up to it, we'll talk." Tara softly brushes her cheek over the slayer's head, having felt the slayer tense in her arms as she'd obviously been thinking about what had happened. "It's not going to disappear, sweetie. So, please, just worry about getting well then let the rest take care of its self okay?"

Buffy takes a deep breath, relaxing slightly as she finishes the broth. Licking her lips, she still feels an emptiness in her stomach. "Can I have more?" Buffy finally questions quietly.

"Of course. Would you like some juice, water, milk or something else?" Tara offers as she shifts her body and eases Buffy back onto the bed, looking at the slayer as she runs her fingers through the slayer's hair.

Buffy can't help but reach up and stroke her fingers over the Wiccan's cheek, still not believing that the Wiccan is alive. "Anything is fine." Buffy blinks in surprise as Tara presses her cheek into her hand, letting her cup her cheek in the palm of her hand.

"Let me get you some more broth and something to drink. Do you want to try to hold down something more solid, or stick to the broth right now?" Tara nibbles on her bottom lip as she waits for Buffy's answer.

"I think I could hold something more solid down." Buffy admits, smiling as Tara grins at her.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, sweetie." Tara leans down, brushing her lips softly over Buffy's forehead before easing away and striding quickly from the room, unaware of the surprised and curious slayer she leaves behind.

Buffy unconsciously reaches up and brushes her fingers over her forehead, having felt a surprising tingle as the Wiccan's lips had pressed against her forehead. Running a slightly shaky hand through her hair, she frowns as she feels the slight tenderness and scab on her scalp. Becoming aware of the aches and pains in her body, Buffy shifts and slowly takes inventory, feeling the slight pulling in her ribs, the aching in her stomach from whatever internal damage she'd had down to her leg, frowning at the splint, Buffy runs her fingers over the jagged scab as she remembers seeing her bone sticking through the skin. Slowly dropping back onto the bed, Buffy stares up at the ceiling as she wonders how she managed to live through the attack.

Licking her dry lips, she looks up at the bag hanging above her, dripping much needed fluids into her body. Looking down to where the needle is in her arm, she starts to pull off the tape holding the needle in place when she hears a growl from the door.

"Don't you dare!" Tara growls at the slayer as she comes into the room, setting the tray on her chair as she turns to look at the slayer, her brows furrowed. "Stubborn slayer. I see time hasn't given you much patience." Tara shifts to the nightstand and opens the drawer, pulling out antiseptic wipes and a bandage before turning back to Buffy, sitting down gingerly beside the smirking slayer.

"Made you bossier, it would seem." Buffy comments, trying not to laugh at the narrowed gaze turned on her.

"Actually she's talked more in the last week, than she has practically the whole six plus years she's been here." Ingrid murmurs as she walks into the room, looking at the slayer, before looking to a blushing Tara.

Buffy blinks in surprise as she glances at the older woman, with the heavy accent coming to stand at the end of her bed.

"Sorry, I'm Ingrid. The head of the Coven." Ingrid smiles gently at the slayer. "Glad to see you've finally woken. Now I may be able to get Tara to spend more than fifteen minutes out of your room."

"Ingrid." Tara hisses quietly at the Coven leader before she deftly pulls the needle from Buffy's vein, pressing a bandage against the hole for a few minutes before gently cleaning the area and placing a Band-Aid over it. Standing, she places the used items in the trash, grabbing the extra pillows out of the closet before helping Buffy to sit up, she props the slayer up with the additional pillows. Grasping the chair she slides it closer to the bed. "What do you want first, sweetie? Juice, milk, broth or ham and cheese sandwich?"

"Eat, relax and try to rest. We'll have time to talk later. Your getting well is the most important thing right now. Mr. Giles is aware you're here, and I'll call him now to let him know you're conscious and eating." Ingrid smiles encouragingly at the slayer before easing from the room, gently shutting the door behind her.

"You've spent all your time here taking care of me?" Buffy questions hoarsely, deciding to focus on that instead of the fact that Tara had obviously climbed into her shell and tried to keep her interaction with the world to a minimum after what Willow had done to her.

Buffy sighs quietly as she looks at the items on the tray. "Juice, please." Buffy unconsciously licks her lips, trying to generate some moisture on them. Accepting the glass from Tara, she lifts it to her lips, drinking it gingerly, taking a few breaths in between each sip. After finishing the juice, she hands it back to Tara, smiling self-consciously. "Thirsty."

"I kind of figured you would be." Tara smiles softly as she hands half of the sandwich to Buffy. "Let's see how this sits on your stomach, before I give you some of your broth. Then if you're up for it, you can have the rest of the sandwich then the milk."

"'Kay." Buffy quickly works her way through the sandwich half, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes as she unconsciously grins at the sandwich. "Can I have the other half, first?" Buffy opens her eyes, when she hears the quiet chuckle coming from Tara.

"Of course. After you finish this if you want more I'll get you some more." Tara grins crookedly at the slayer as she watches Buffy practically inhale the other half. "How do you feel, sweetie?"

"Stiff, sore and hurting." Buffy admits quietly as she accepts the broth from Tara and sips cautiously at the hot liquid.

Tara reaches in the nightstand and pulls out some pain pills, shaking three of them out into her hand. Waiting for Buffy to slowly finish the broth, she hands the pills to Buffy along with the milk. Accepting the mug back from Buffy, she sets it on the tray.

Buffy snarls her nose up at the pills as she looks from them to Tara and back again.

"Take them, sweetie. You're hurting and it'll help you get some much needed healing sleep." Tara sighs quietly as Buffy looks at her with a stubborn look on her face.

"How much sleep have you had since I've been here?" Buffy questions, her eyes narrowed on the Wiccan. When Tara slides her eyes away from her, Buffy looks more intently at the Wiccan, seeing the dark circles under her eyes and the gauntness to Tara's face. Also noticing for the first time, the slight crow's feet at the corners of Tara's eyes and other tell tale signs of the years having passed. "I'll make you a deal." Buffy offers quietly.

"What kind of deal?" Tara turns her gaze back towards the slayer, tilting her head curiously.

"I'll take these if you promise to go to your room, curl up in your bed and sleep for a minimum of ten hours…after having a nutritious meal." Buffy searches the blue eyes, seeing the Wiccan want to argue by the look in her eyes, before they finally soften and her head slowly nods, giving in without a fight. "Say it, Tara." Buffy whispers.

Tara sighs heavily and states in an even softer voice than the slayer. "I promise to get something to eat and sleep for at least ten hours after you settle in, take the pills and fall asleep."

Buffy shakes her head at the conditions Tara added, before chuckling softly. "Deal." Buffy pops the pills in her mouth before slowly drinking the milk.

"Do you want another sandwich? Or maybe something else?" Tara places the empty glass back on the tray.

"On what?" Tara raises an eyebrow at the slayer, wondering what she's going to come up with this time.

"Will you join me?" Buffy's lips twitch as Tara laughs and slowly nods her head.

"I guess you're wanting to make sure I eat, aren't you?" Tara brushes a hand over Buffy's cheek, smiling as Buffy nods her head. "Besides more to drink and another sandwich, anything else?"

"I think that'll probably finish me off for a little while." Buffy sighs quietly, closing her eyes as she enjoys the soft caress, trying to remember the last time she'd been touched, or touched someone else. Thinking about it, she finally remembers her brief interaction with the Immortal. What another brilliant relationship fiasco that was in her life of screw-ups.

"Would you prefer juice, milk or water this time around, sweetie?" Tara slowly pulls her hand away as she stands and gathers the tray, waiting patiently with the tray in her hand for Buffy to answer her.

"Of course. I'll be back in a few minutes, sweetie." Tara quirks her lips slightly before she quickly strides from the room to get food for them to eat, along with more milk for Buffy to drink.

Buffy shifts around to make herself more comfortable, wincing as she accidentally shifts her leg, feeling a streak of pain coming from the appendage. "Don't do that for a while yet." Buffy grumbles, reaching down and running her fingers over her thigh, it finally sinking in that she's lying there with nothing on, just covered with the sheets and covers. It finally dawning on her that Tara had probably been taking care of all her needs while she'd been unconscious if she hadn't left the room except for ten to fifteen minutes here and there, according to what Ingrid had said. Shifting the sheet to cover her body from her waist down, she decides to continue looking over her body.

Looking at her body, she sees where she'd obviously lost some weight in her time of being unconscious as she takes in her faded bruises. Poking at the still noticeable one on her abdomen, she pokes experimentally at the bruise, grunting quietly as she feels the tenderness in her abdomen.

"You had some internal damage, but the doctor didn't want to cut you open, and once she was apprised of your slayer healing and talking with Giles, she decided to wait and see how you healed." Tara explains as she walks back into the room seeing Buffy taking inventory of her body.

Buffy looks down as she continues to look over her body. Feeling the pinching in her ribs, she knows they'll probably need a couple more days to heal completely. Pulling her body up away from the pillows, she tries to reach behind her from where she feels her back itching.

"Easy, sweetie. Don't hurt yourself. Your back has pretty much just scabs left on it." Tara explains. "From the amount of bark on the back of your clothes, I would assume you came into intimate contact with a tree."

"Not that intimate, or I'd have bark in places I'd rather not discuss." Buffy jokes frowning as she shifts around. "It itches."

Tara laughs quietly at the slayer. "Bark and splinters in particular places doesn't do a hell of a lot for me, either. After all, I'm not much of one for the timber." Tara grins crookedly as Buffy jerks her head up to look at her in surprise. "Here, let me scratch your back a little, give you some relief."

"'Kay." Buffy groans quietly as Tara's nails scratch gently over her back. "To the left just a little…right there." Buffy practically purrs as Tara scratches over the place that had been bugging her. "Feels good. Thank you."

Tara pats Buffy's back and watches curiously as the slayer shifts back against the pillows, not bothering to cover herself as she accepts the partial sandwich she hands to her. Grabbing part of her sandwich, Tara watches as Buffy practically inhales her half. "Should I have made more than one additional sandwich?"

"Nah. I'll probably be ready to crash after this one." Buffy admits softly as she accepts the other half from Tara. Watching as the Wiccan slowly works her way through her sandwich. "You bathed me, changed my bandages and took care of me the whole time I've been here, haven't you?"

Tara blinks at Buffy and slowly nods her head. "I hope you don't mind…" Tara blushes and looks down at the bed.

Buffy reaches out and grasps Tara's knee. "Why would I mind, Tara? From the looks of it, you took pretty damn good care of me, though I don't like the idea you did it while not taking care of yourself."

Tara nibbles on her bottom lip for a few minutes. "I thought you might mind, because of my being a lesbian." Tara finally admits shyly.

"Mind?" Buffy questions, confused. "Well, I have to admit, you've made me wonder about my desirability, since you haven't hit on me once since I've come to, and I've been lying here pretty much naked as the day I was born…" Buffy tries to state seriously, not being able to keep the huge smile off her face as Tara jerks her eyes up, staring at her in confusion and disbelief.

"Maybe I should be worried that you're the Buffy I used to know. She would have probably run the other way at just the thought of being hit on by a woman, let alone joking about the fact that she HASN'T been hit on by a woman." Tara blinks in surprise at the laughing slayer.

"Tara, you should see the look on your face." Buffy's laughter slows down, but the merriment still shows in the hazel eyes. "Your being a lesbian has nothing to do with how well you took care of me, and that doesn't bother me at all." Buffy admits, shaking her head as she considers the woman. "You've become too serious, Tara. I think you've forgotten how to have fun." Buffy frowns as she looks at Tara. "You shut yourself off from life after you left Sunnydale, didn't you?"

Tara looks away, frowning heavily at the slayer's words. Not wanting to admit she's right, but knowing in her heart that she is. "Here, finish your milk. I brought a glass of water and a pitcher to leave here, in case you wake up thirsty. If you have to use the bathroom, use the pulley beside you. It's hooked to the bell in my room, and I'll come help you." Tara explains softly as she hands the milk to Buffy.

Buffy unconsciously growls at Tara as the Wiccan sidesteps her question. "We're going to talk and discuss things, Tara. I want to know everything that happened, what you've been doing with yourself since you left, and in turn I'll want to discuss with you a few things that you may not be aware of." Buffy admits quietly, frowning heavily at the thought of Willow and what she'd done.

"I've talked with Giles, Buffy. He's hit on the highlights." Tara admits softly, looking at Buffy.

Buffy blinks in surprise as she looks at the Wiccan. "You've talked with Giles?"

Tara nods her head and glances away, staring into the fire as she orders her thoughts. "Ingrid had me talk to him one of the times she made me leave your side. It would seem those two talked quite a bit, going over what happened, making sure I am who I'm supposed to be. Ingrid explained to me a lot of what Giles had told her about what happened to everyone after Sunnydale…" Tara blinks and looks at the hand that's come out to clasp her hand. "I had tried to contact the Watcher's Council to find you guys and see what happened…but I found out that it had exploded." Tara admits sadly. "I broke down after that." Tara shakes her head as she slowly looks up into sad hazel eyes.

"We have a lot to discuss, Tara." Buffy gently squeezes Tara's hand as she reaches to set her empty glass on the nightstand.

"Here." Tara takes the glass from Buffy and sets it back on the tray. Looking back at Buffy, she sees the tiredness in the slayer's eyes. "You need to sleep, sweetie." Tara helps Buffy lean forward as she reaches behind the slayer, pulling out the extra pillows before helping Buffy lie down. Hesitating for a few minutes, Tara brushes the backs of her fingers over Buffy's cheek. "I'm glad you made it out of Sunnydale, sweetie." Tara whispers, leaning down and brushing her lips softly over Buffy's forehead again before standing and grabbing the tray after placing the pitcher and glass on the nightstand for Buffy.

Buffy swallows hard at the feelings working their way to the surface. In a way surprised at how comfortable she seems with Tara, in another way not surprised at all. Raising the covers up to her neck, she watches as Tara finally leaves the room. Allowing her self to relax, she stares up at the ceiling as she considers the Wiccan, before the pills finish doing their job and drags her into the land of sleep.

Tara stretches as she slowly wakes up, looking over at the clock, surprised to see she'd slept for almost twelve hours straight. Rolling out of bed, she yanks on her robe and runs to the bathroom, showering quickly before coming back and dressing. Brushing her hair as she strides quickly through the Coven, making her way to Buffy's room, she eases the door open and peeks in, smiling softly at the sound of the light snores coming from the slayer. Easing back out, she makes her way to the kitchen, braiding her hair as she gets closer.

"Good morning." Tara smiles self-consciously at the head of the Coven as she works her way over to the stove.

"Morning." Ingrid watches as Tara comes into the kitchen, grabbing down pots and pans before gathering different ingredients out of the cabinets. Picking up her cup of coffee she watches as Tara tosses ingredients into a bowl after putting a pound of bacon in the skillet to fry. "What all are you fixing?"

Tara blushes lightly as she finishes throwing the ingredients together for pancakes. "Bacon, pancakes, scrambled eggs with cheese and toast." Tara explains as she grabs the eggs out of the refrigerator. "Her appetite was on its way back last night. She was able to eat two sandwiches and a couple mugs of broth, along with quite a few glasses of juice and milk." Tara explains softly as she turns the bacon before pouring pancake mixture into another skillet.

"Good. From what Mr. Giles said, that's half the battle. Her being awake and conscious, eating and drinking fluids will get her back on her feet in no time." Ingrid offers quietly as Tara nods her agreement.

"A slayer's healing abilities are remarkable. But it'll still take a while with her leg. The rest of her will probably be completely healed within a couple more days." Tara smiles over her shoulder. "Would you like me to fix you something while I'm cooking?"

"No, thank you. I had a couple pieces of toast earlier to help soak up the caffeine." Ingrid holds up her coffee mug, smiling at Tara. "Plus you know how we are around here. Help yourself is our motto."

"I know…but since I was already here." Tara shrugs her shoulders as she flips the pancake onto a plate before pouring more mix into the skillet. Quickly cracking the dozen eggs into a bowl, Tara whisks them together quickly and efficiently before setting them aside to flip the pancake and turn the bacon again. Turning to the side, she places a couple slices of bread in the toaster before snapping her fingers and pulling out the butter and strawberry jam from the refrigerator.

"She likes to spread jam on her pancakes instead of butter or syrup." Tara explains self-consciously as she continues to work on the slayer's breakfast.

"Okay." Ingrid purses her lips as she watches Tara pile up a plate with pancakes, putting two on another plate while placing the majority of the bacon with the huge stack of pancakes and the eggs with toast on another plate. Carefully arranging all the items on the tray, before reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out the half gallon of milk. Ingrid bites her lip to keep from laughing as Tara places two glasses on the plate with the small stack of pancakes while hooking the jug of milk through a finger and picking up the tray, carrying it quickly out of the room. "Surely to goodness, that small woman in there won't be able to eat all that!" Ingrid blinks at the thought.

Buffy moans quietly, as she can swear she smells food, her nose twitching as she slowly gains consciousness. She groans loudly as she has this uncontrollable urge to use the bathroom, also.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" Tara questions softly as she sets down the tray, placing the milk on the nightstand.

"Bathroom." Buffy hoarsely croaks out, before opening her eyes to stare in surprise at Tara. A small smile slowly working across her face as it sinks in again, that the Wiccan is alive.

"You have a couple choices." Tara explains softly as she kneels down beside the bed, pulling out a pan. "Bedpan or I can help float you to the bathroom."

Buffy looks in disgust at the bedpan, her eyes going from the pan to Tara's laughing countenance.

"I guess that answers that." Tara replaces the bedpan before walking over to the closet, pulling out a robe. Walking over to the bed, she whispers the incantation to make Buffy float, smirking, as Buffy's eyes get huge.

"Hey! When did you learn how to do that?" Buffy tosses off the covers, so she doesn't pull them from the bed.

"I could always float things, Buffy." Tara admits, smiling at the slayer as she shifts Buffy around so she can pull the robe on her, before looking at the slayer. "Want to hold on, or do you want to be pushed?" Tara offers, eyeing the slayer's grinning countenance.

"Ummm…" Buffy tilts her head in consideration. "Hold on the way there, then be pushed on the way back." Buffy finally decides, her eyes twinkling as Tara laughs.

"Grab onto something." Tara comes to stand in front of Buffy, her back to the slayer.

Buffy blinks in surprise as she stares at Tara's back. Eyeing the woman up and down noticing that Tara's hair has grown quite a bit longer. In fact surprised to notice it was down around the woman's waist even being braided. "Telling someone to grab onto something isn't a very bright thing to do, Tara." Buffy explains, trying not to laugh as she hooks her fingers through the loops of Tara's jeans.

"I somehow doubt you'd grab onto something…odd." Tara explains as she walks to the bathroom, gently easing the slayer inside. Making sure Buffy could reach the bars in the handicapped adapted bathroom she looks at Buffy for a moment. "You should be able to pull yourself around in here to take care of your business. I'll stand outside the door to give you a bit of privacy. Call for me, when you need me." Tara pats Buffy on the hand before easing out of the bathroom.

Buffy stares at the closed door for a few minutes before quickly taking care of the necessities, grimacing as she realizes she doesn't have her toothbrush. "Tara?" Buffy calls out, not surprised when the Wiccan opens the door almost immediately.

"Actually, I was wondering if you guys found my backpack. I really, really would like to brush my teeth." Buffy wrinkles her nose.

"Goddess, I'm sorry! I didn't even think about that. Yes, we did. I'll get it for you." Tara offers leaving the room quickly, to go back to Buffy's room.

Buffy blinks as one moment the Wiccan is there, the next gone. "Thanks." Buffy mumbles to the empty room.

"Here." Tara walks into the bathroom, the slayer's backpack in her hands. "No one went through it, do you want to get it out, or would you like me to?"

"Front pocket." Buffy smiles, pointing to the pocket, letting Tara know to go ahead and pull it out.

Tara unzips the pocket and pulls out the small travel sized toothbrush and toothpaste, pulling the cover off the tooth brush before leaning around Buffy to turn on the water, wetting the toothbrush before placing some toothpaste on the bristles. Handing the toothbrush to Buffy, she quickly tucks away the toothpaste, missing the surprised look on the slayer's face as she finally lifts the toothbrush up to her mouth.

Buffy slowly brushes her teeth, considering the Wiccan behind her. Feelings stirring inside her from the brief contact of Tara's body pressed up against hers. Finishing brushing her teeth, Buffy puts the cover back on the toothbrush, shifting her body around and tucking it away in the pocket of her backpack Tara's still holding. "All minty fresh, now." Buffy smiles, as Tara grins crookedly at her.

"Missed a little bit." Tara reaches up and brushes away a small bit of toothpaste from the corner of Buffy's mouth with her thumb. "Come on, slayer. Let's get you some food in that tummy of yours."

Buffy blushed lightly because her stomach had started growling loudly as Tara had wiped the extra toothpaste from her mouth. "Looks like you fixed a good amount."

"And you're probably going to eat a good amount." Tara pulls Buffy out of the bathroom before getting behind her and placing her hands on her waist to push her quickly down the hallway to her room.

"Don't get used to it. Knowing you, you'll be up on your own two feet in no time. But please, give it a little while. Your leg was badly broken, and even with slayer healing it might take the better part of a month for it to heal." Tara explains quietly.

"How long have I been here?" Buffy finally questions, having an idea with how well certain body parts were healed, but curious just the same.

"Just a little over a week." Tara admits softly. "When Giles called the Coven and told Ingrid that you hadn't checked in with him after a week, since you arrived here in Sweden, we went out looking for you."

"It was you there." Buffy looks at Tara, seeing the woman nod her head in answer as Tara pushes her onto the bed, making her comfortable before grabbing the pillows and propping her up, finally releasing the spell.

Tara places her plate and both glasses on the nightstand before settling the tray on Buffy's lap. "Dig in, sweetie." Tara smiles quickly at Buffy before she turns and fills Buffy's glass with milk, placing it within reach before pouring her self a half glass of milk, sitting down to eat her pancakes and bacon.

Buffy feels her mouth watering at the pile of food on her plate. "Thank you." Buffy mutters quickly spreading the jam across her pancakes before digging into her breakfast.

"You're welcome." Tara smiles as she slowly eats her pancakes, watching as Buffy makes short work of the pile of food on her tray. Watching as the slayer scoops some of the scrambled eggs, throwing it on the toast to make a sandwich and eating it, Tara shakes her head. "Do you need more, sweetie?"

Buffy grunts as she wipes up the last of the eggs with a piece of toast. "Maybe some more milk." Buffy mutters as she reaches for the glass, draining it.

"Do you want anything in particular for lunch? I'm going to make a run to the local market and stock up on some food for you. Ingrid was surprised at the amount of food I fixed. I don't think she thought you could eat it all." Tara jokes, looking at the now empty plates. "We all pretty much fend for ourselves around here. Occasionally a couple of us will get together and cook a big meal for everyone." Tara explains softly.

"Damn. Have Giles send money for my food and care. I didn't even think about that." Buffy's eyes look apologetically at Tara.

"I think it's all already been taken care of, sweetie." Tara stacks the plates and utensils on the tray before setting it down on the nightstand. Quickly filling the slayer's glass with the rest of the milk, she hands it to Buffy. "Do you want a couple more pain pills?" Tara questions, having seen the wince of pain on Buffy's face.

"Not right now." Buffy shakes her head as she shifts slightly. "I'd dearly love to take a shower, though." Buffy admits, frowning down at her body.

"Not with your leg like it is." Tara shakes her head. "I may be able to rig up something for you to get cleaned up in the Jacuzzi tub, but you'll need help." Tara admits quietly.

Buffy tilts her head as she looks at Tara. "I would assume you're the one that would help me, correct?"

"If you want." Tara nods her head quickly. "I can see if someone else is free to help you, if you'd prefer." Tara offers softly.

"Tara!" Buffy growls the Wiccan's name, watching as Tara jerks her head up in surprise. "I don't have a problem with you helping me, other than the normal problem with accepting help from anyone. Understand? Now, I have a personal question to ask."

Tara blinks in surprise at Buffy before she nods her head for the slayer to continue.

"Are you seeing anyone here?" Buffy waves her hand around, indicating the Coven.

"I'm not seeing anyone period." Tara tilts her head questioningly at the slayer.

"Just wanted to make sure I wasn't going to have someone coming in and kicking my ass for taking you away from them." Buffy smirks at Tara.

"That definitely isn't a worry." Tara sighs softly as she gathers the dirty dishes. "I'm going to go take care of these. Do you want me to bring you some juice or water?"

Buffy growls as she looks down at the bed. "Water would be great, thanks. I want you to figure out a way for me to get around without you having to magic me around everywhere."

Tara nods her head, smiling. "I figured you wouldn't like being cooped up in here for long."

"Let me get the dishes taken care of and I'll bring you a pitcher of water back. Think about what you'd like to eat so I can make a list before going to the market." Tara suggests as she makes her way to the door. "It's great seeing you again, Buffy. Though I wish it was under better circumstances." Tara whispers before quickly leaving the room.

Buffy stares at the empty doorway. "You have no idea how wonderful it is to see you again, Tara. I had no clue how much you meant to me until you were gone." Buffy whispers, feeling her heart contract at the thought. Turning her head, she looks out the window at the snow covered mountains, sighing quietly in silent contemplation.

Ingrid smiles as she watches Tara bundle up to go to the market. "Here's some money for the food."

Tara nods in thanks. "Keep an eye on her while I'm gone?" Tara questions hopefully.

"Tara, she's going to be fine." Ingrid shakes her head at the worried young woman. Seeing the blue eyes narrow on her, she sighs heavily. "I'll go keep her company. Be careful."

"I will. Do I need to pick up anything else?" Tara offers as she stands by the back door.

"No. I think Jessica is going to make a run for everything tomorrow, stock up for your young woman. I can't believe she ate everything you fixed." Ingrid shakes her head in amazement.

"She would have eaten more, if I had fixed it." Tara admits, smiling quickly. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Ingrid chuckles softly as she watches Tara quickly stride out of the house and make her way down the walk. Turning, she quickly makes her way to Buffy's room. Knocking on the doorframe, she looks in at the slayer who's propped up, casually flipping through a book. "Care for some company?"

"Sure." Buffy smiles at the Coven leader and waves to the chair normally occupied by Tara.

"I was wondering if you were able to kill the demon?" Ingrid questions quietly as she settles on the chair, looking intently at the younger woman.

"Unfortunately, no. Unless I did more damage than I thought I did with the knife." Buffy admits. "As soon as I'm healed, I'm going after it again."

Ingrid purses her lips as she considers the slayer. "Not by yourself, you aren't. I'd like you to take a couple of my well-trained combative witches with you when you go."

Buffy starts to shake her head, when Ingrid narrows her gaze on her. "I'm sorry, but it isn't their responsibility to deal with this. It is mine, however."

"You don't really have a choice in the matter. And unless you want them just to follow you anyway, you'll let them come with you." Ingrid explains no room for argument in her tones.

"I'd feel guilty as hell if something happened to one of them." Buffy tries to explain, her eyebrows drawn in a deep frown. "How about you contact Giles and see if he can get another slayer or two to come here? Would that make you happy?"

"It would make me feel better. But I can guarantee you that there will be one person in particular that would still insist on going with you when you go out to hunt the demon." Ingrid relaxes back against the chair, as she waits to see what Buffy will say to that.

"There is no way in fucking hell Tara is going out there with me on the hunt." Buffy growls angrily, her eyes sparking.

Ingrid fights back the smile crossing her face as she sees the obvious care and worry in the slayer's eyes for her young charge. Having Tara come out of her shell and argue and fight with her about the slayer's care, she'd come to realize that there was a strength to the woman that Tara hid. Seeing the 'mama bear' mentality of Tara in regards to the slayer had her interest piqued. Now seeing the same mentality coming from the slayer, it confirms her suspicions, that the two women probably care more for each other than either one is willing to admit. "I don't think you'll have much choice in the matter. I've come to realize very recently that Tara can be extremely stubborn about getting her way in certain matters."

"Not this time." Buffy snarls as she shakes her head vehemently, wincing as it starts to pound. Unconsciously, Buffy raises her hand and presses it against her head.

"Here." Ingrid reaches into the drawer and pulls out the pain pills. Handing a couple to Buffy along with the glass of water, she urges the slayer to take them. Seeing Buffy about to argue, Ingrid raises an eyebrow. "I'll just sic Tara on you when she gets back. Let her know you were hurting and refusing to take the pain pills."

Buffy growls quietly at the head of the Coven, before finally tossing the pills in her mouth and swallows them with some water. "This is ridiculous." Buffy sets the water down, frowning heavily.

"She wasn't supposed to go out looking for you, but she did." Ingrid explains quietly. "Actually, she didn't give me any choice in the matter." Ingrid shrugs her shoulders as she looks at the slayer. "I can assure you, that you have a choice in the matter. Take her along with you, so that way you can keep her within your eyesight and make sure she's okay, or let her follow along behind you, tracking you and possibly get hurt."

Buffy snarls her lip at the thought. "Well, it isn't going to happen anytime soon. So maybe I'll have time to talk her out of it." Buffy taps her leg.

"Uh, huh." Ingrid smirks as she settles back in her chair, watching Buffy for a few minutes. "How well do you know Tara?"

Buffy sighs quietly as she settles the robe a little more securely around her body. "Not as well as I should." Buffy finally admits after a few minutes of consideration. "I know she's a wonderful person. That she'll do anything for a friend, and she has a shitty family. When she died…when her doppelganger or whatever it was, died…I realized that I never knew how much she meant to the rest of us…Now, come to find out that the woman that I had become a little bit closer to wasn't actually Tara at all…" Buffy takes a deep breath, shaking her head in disgust. "I can't believe that none of us realized that wasn't really Tara. What the hell does that say about us as friends and loved ones?"

Ingrid leans forward and places a calming hand on the slayer's tense shoulder. "Buffy, from what Mr. Giles and I have been able to deduce from what happened, the young lady that was impersonating Tara probably thought she actually was Tara. Mr. Giles was going to research in depth the duplication process, to see who or what could have made that version of Tara, though we both believe it was The First. Don't beat yourself up about it, just be thankful that the woman you wanted to get to know better is here now, giving you the chance to do just that."

Buffy slowly relaxes as the Coven leader's words sink into her mind. Slowly turning her gaze on the older woman, she smiles. "Thanks. I have a tendency to dwell on the 'what could have been' instead of what can be." Buffy admits softly.

"I think all of us do that to a certain degree." Ingrid tilts her head as she considers Buffy for a few long minutes. "How do you feel about her being gay?"

"Feel? Why would I feel anything?" Buffy questions curiously blinking at the strange question.

"Just a question. There are a lot of people that have problems with gays and lesbians. And from what I can gather, though she hasn't said anything, Tara had some problems with how people felt in the past." Ingrid shrugs as she looks at Buffy. "I'm just looking out for her well-being to tell you the truth, Buffy."

"I would never knowingly hurt her." Buffy whispers, shaking her head. "I would just like the chance to get to know her again. Learn about the woman she's become in the years since she left."

"I'm sure you'll get your chance, Buffy." Ingrid smiles softly at the young woman as she watches Buffy turn introspective and quiet.

Tara laughs quietly as Buffy practically runs over one of the other women that live at the Coven. "I'm going to take away your driving privileges if you keep that up!"

Buffy looks guiltily at the blonde Wiccan. "Remember, I'm the dangerous one when it comes to driving four wheels." Buffy smirks as she spins the wheelchair and heads towards Tara who's across the room by the window.

"Forgot you didn't have a license." Tara jokes, smiling as the slayer comes to a skidding halt in front of her. "But I see you're getting the hang of it."

"Only a couple days and a few witches missing some toes." Buffy jokes looking up at the Wiccan. "What'cha doing?"

"Well, I heard a little terror was running loose in the house, so I figured I'd protect my toes by curling up here and reading." Tara smirks as Buffy growls playfully and maneuvers her wheelchair to where she's right beside Tara, who's perched on the windowsill.

Tapping Tara's leg with her finger she looks up hopefully at the Wiccan. "Can I talk you into making me something sweet? I'll do just about anything, if you do."

"Nuts, no nuts, cream cheese icing?" Tara offers, tilting her head as she looks over the healthier looking slayer.

Tara reaches out and tweaks Buffy's nose. "You're spoiled. Just for that, you're going to help."

"Uh, uh. Not a good idea…I'm even more dangerous in the kitchen than I am on four wheels." Buffy rolls back and turns the wheelchair to the middle of the library and spins it around, laughing as she catches one of the other witches poking her head in before hurrying away. "I think I've got them all scared."

Tara places her book on the windowsill as she makes a wide birth around the slayer towards the door. "All the people living in the house and within a fifty mile radius know to stay away from a short little blonde-haired menace!" Tara chuckles wickedly as she quickly hurries from the room as she hears the squeal from the slayer.

"TARA! NOT NICE!" Buffy quickly trails after the Wiccan, knowing she has a good long hallway to catch up to her with. Grinning wickedly as she quickly catches up to the hurrying Wiccan, she maneuvers the wheelchair and has her right leg alongside the outside of Tara and quickly hooks her left leg around the Tara, pulling her into her lap

Squeaking Tara finds herself wrapped up in Buffy's arms, with both of them barreling down the hallway. "Buffy!" Tara covers her face, whimpering as she waits for them to run into something.

"Don't trust me?" Buffy laughs and pulls Tara more firmly against her and slows the wheelchair down, rolling them gently into the kitchen. Pulling it to a stop, she grins as Tara finally uncovers her face and looks over her shoulder at her, grinning hugely.

Smacking Buffy gently on the shoulder, Tara starts laughing. "What has gotten into you?"

"Don't know." Buffy grins and shrugs her shoulders. "I haven't had this much fun in…" Buffy trails off as she tilts her head thinking. "Damn, I can't remember how long." Buffy blinks in surprise, thinking for a few minutes, realizing she hasn't taken time out to just enjoy life and laugh in forever. Even when she took off for three years traveling around, she hadn't had this much fun. Buffy unconsciously hugs Tara to her, innately understanding that the Wiccan is the reason why.

Tara feels her heart skip a beat as Buffy hugs her tightly. Tara closes her eyes and allows her self to enjoy the strength of the arms around her and the face gently rubbing against her back. Feelings she thought she'd locked away so many years ago to never be felt again start to surface. Swallowing hard as she thinks to herself it's just her luck to start to feel again, and it's for the one woman she considers the most heterosexual woman she's ever known. Resting her hands on top of Buffy's arms, she squeezes the slayer's forearms gently.

Buffy sighs as she feels the gentle squeeze, inhaling deeply of the Wiccan's scent before finally easing her grasp from around Tara. Watching as Tara gently leaves her lap Buffy runs a hand through her hair as her eyes trail over the Wiccan's form. The firm, yet soft flesh she'd felt being hidden by the loose clothes Tara's wearing. "So, what are you going to make me do?" Buffy finally questions, trying to sidetrack the thoughts that are starting to swirl around in her mind.

Tara shakily runs a hand down her skirt as she keeps her back to the slayer as she tries to compose herself. "How about chopping the nuts to go in the brownies for starters?" Tara starts digging around in the cabinets, pulling out the ingredients.

"Would you like the brownies to be extra chewy?" Tara questions softly, finally looking over her shoulder at Buffy, her eyes caught by the soft, beautiful smile.

"That sounds good." Buffy watches curiously as Tara places some nuts in front of her along with a cutting board and knife.

"I expect all your fingers to still be in good working order after chopping those, understand?" Tara quirks an eyebrow at the slayer, chuckling as Buffy hold her hands up looking at her fingers like she's counting them.

"So, I start off with eight fingers and two thumbs, I'm supposed to end with the same amount, right?" Buffy wiggles her fingers as her eyes twinkle.

"That's the general idea." Tara nods her head, smirking at the slayer. "Get busy, slayer." Tara orders as she turns back, starting to dump the ingredients into a bowl, chuckling quietly at Buffy's mumbling.

"Get busy, slayer, she says. I kill vampires, werewolves, demons, Hell Gods, and she orders me around like a kitchen scullery maid. These hands are lethal killing machines…and I'm chopping nuts. What is the world coming to?" Buffy grumbles, the smile on her face coming through in her words. Buffy finishes chopping the nuts, laying the knife on the cutting board as she relaxes back and watches Tara. Crossing her arms over her chest, Buffy doesn't think before she questions Tara. "Will you come back to England with me?"

Tara stops mixing the ingredients at the slayer's question, closing her eyes as she takes a deep breath. "I…I don't know." Tara whispers quietly in answer.

"I'm sorry, that was a selfish question." Buffy stiffens slightly as she looks away from Tara, glancing outside.

"It wasn't selfish, Buffy." Tara slowly turns and looks at the slayer. Seeing the closed off look on Buffy's face, the same look when she doesn't want anyone to know what she's thinking or feeling, the look she uses when she's fighting evil. It isn't Buffy she's looking at, but The Slayer. "Buffy…you need to understand that I came to the Coven to heal."

"I understand, Tara." Buffy turns her head, capturing blue eyes with hers. "I also understand the fact that it's been almost seven years since you left. If you haven't healed in that time, you're not going to. And, God forgive me, but hiding and wasting your life away is fucking ridiculous." Buffy growls angrily as she shifts her wheelchair around and quickly rolls out of the room, not knowing where her anger is coming from but not able to fight it back. Rolling into her room, she slams the door as she stares down at the splints supporting her leg. Growling angrily, she reaches down and rips them from her leg. "Been three weeks and three weeks is too fucking long." Buffy gingerly shifts her leg onto the floor, rubbing her thigh and leg to help with the circulation.

Locking the wheels on the wheelchair, she pushes herself up. Balancing on her good leg as she gradually puts more weight on her right, frowning as she feels the weakness in the leg. Gritting her teeth, Buffy shifts more of her weight onto the leg, growling at the sharp pain emanating from it.

Tara unconsciously wraps her arms around her waist as she watches Buffy barrel out of the kitchen, surprised at the slayer's words and the anger in the hazel depths. Closing her eyes as she feels the tears slowly gather, Tara leans back against the counter and wipes the tears from her face as she considers Buffy's words.

"She's right, you know." Ingrid calmly walks into the room, having been in the room next door, heard everything and seen the angry retreat of the slayer. Watching as Tara jerks her head up to stare at her with sad blue eyes, Ingrid shakes her head. "You've been hiding away here, for a very long time. You have nothing left to learn from us, Tara. You're a very talented, strong Wiccan. And I hope you understand what I'm going to say is for your own good." Ingrid takes a deep breath as she looks into scared blue eyes. "When Buffy leaves, I want you to leave also."

Tara's mouth opens and closes as she feels her heart constrict. "But…" Tara's so stunned she doesn't know what to say to the Coven leader. "You're kicking me out." Tara finally whispers in a heart-broken tone.

"Like a mother bird, with her baby…Yes I am. It's time you flew on your own, Tara. I'm pushing you out, because I've let you stay here well past your time. You should have left many years ago, and selfishly, I liked you being here. You're a great help in so many ways…" Ingrid shakes her head, smiling softly at the Wiccan. "I'd love for you to come and visit us whenever you want. But it's time to try your wings." Ingrid doesn't have the heart to tell the Wiccan that she doesn't belong with them. She belongs out in the world with people that bring her to life and make her feel and care.

Tara stares after Ingrid as she leaves the kitchen. Chewing on her bottom lip, Tara shakily heads out of the kitchen, ignoring the brownie fixings and works her way to Buffy's room. Frowning at the closed door as the slayer always leaves it open. Leaning her head against the cool wood, Tara tries to get control of her emotions. After a few minutes she knocks on the door lightly. Not hearing anything, Tara calls out quietly. "Buffy, can I come in?"

"Not a good idea." Buffy growls angrily, her eyes flashing towards the door as she slowly works her way around the room, using the walls, the furniture and anything else that's handy to help support her as she works on building the strength back up in her leg.

Tara leans against the door, staring at the dark wood. "I'm afraid." Tara finally admits softly, the tears coming to her eyes again. "I've become comfortable in my life here. There's no expectations, no worries, and I'm not chancing my heart again here."

Buffy makes her way slowly towards the door as she listens to Tara. Stopping beside it, she considers her next words. "Are you happy here, Tara?" Buffy finally questions softly.

"I'm comfortable here." Tara whispers again. "I'm not happy, I'm not sad…I'm comfortable."

"So, pretty much one day is just like the other?" Buffy presses her forehead against the door, unaware of the fact that she's almost mirroring Tara exactly.

"That sums it up nicely. At least until you arrived." Tara chuckled sadly. "You took my comfortable life and have turned it upside down."

"Good." Buffy allows a small smile to cross her face at the Wiccan's admittance. "Would you come back with me, Tara?" Buffy finally questions the Wiccan again, softly.

Tara takes a deep breath as she considers the slayer's words. "I'm leaving, one way or another when you leave, Buffy. Ingrid pretty much just gave me my walking papers. It isn't fair for me to go with you just because I don't have anywhere else to go, and I want you to know that."

Buffy pulls her lips back away from her teeth in a silent snarl. "So, now you're not going with me just to prove something?"

"I don't want you to think that's the reason I'm going with you, Buffy. I don't want you to think I chose to go with you because I didn't have any other choice." Tara tries to explain.

"There's always choices, Tara. You could hike across the country, working odd jobs if you wanted to. I know whatever you set your mind to, you could do, so that is so not even a consideration as to you coming with me or not. Third time, will you come back with me, Tara?" Buffy finally questions for the last time, holding her breath as she waits for the answer, realizing that she wants Tara to come back for more reasons than she can count.

Tara presses her hand against the door as she slowly nods her head. "Yes, I'll come back with you, Buffy."

"Yes!" Buffy hisses loudly as she shifts from the door and opens it quickly, surprised as Tara almost falls in the room, catching herself at the last minute.

"Goddess, you could have warned…Why the hell are you up on your leg? Where're your splints?" Tara frowns heavily as she looks at Buffy, her eyes looking around the room, seeing the splints in pieces by Buffy's wheelchair. "Damn it! You may be the slayer, but it's still going to take a while for your leg to heal!" Tara wraps her arm quickly around Buffy, practically lifting the slayer against her side as she pretty much carries her back to her bed, getting her situated on the covers as she scowls down at the slayer.

"It's had long enough, Tara. I need to start using it to build up the strength in it again." Buffy pats her leg as she looks at the Wiccan. "I've babied it long enough. I need to start using it."

Tara closes her eyes and rubs her head at the slayer's stubbornness. "Fine, but you're going to use either crutches or a cane. And I mean use them, not trip people with them." Tara opens her eyes and pins the slayer with her blue eyes.

"Yes, mom." Buffy starts to grin as she sees the fire in Tara's blue eyes. "Can I have a cane, please? And how long before the brownies are done?"

Tara throws her hands up in the air. "I'll find you a cane. The brownies aren't even in the oven yet, so it's going to be a while." Tara turns on her heel and heads towards the door. "Goddess save me from stubborn slayers."

Buffy smirks as Tara strides out of the room, lacing her fingers together behind her head Buffy's smirk turns to a huge grin as she stares up at the ceiling. "I'm going to have to call Giles and tell him I'll be coming back with Tara. That way he can have a plane ticket ready for her when we get to the airport after taking care of this damn demon."

Buffy whimpers loudly at the painful cramp in the calf of her right leg, having overdone it with hiking and running around outside, testing the strength of her leg.

Tara quickly makes her way towards Buffy's room, having seen the slayer come in from her exercise, shaking her head at the stubborn slayer. The woman had been with them for five weeks now, after the Krinakill Demon had almost killed her. Hearing the loud whimper coming from Buffy, Tara runs into the room, seeing Buffy hunched up, grasping for her calf.

"Oh, sweetie. Take your pants off." Tara orders as she runs back out of the room.

Buffy groans as she rolls out of the bed, whimpering louder as the cramp tightens even more in her calf. Quickly unbuttoning and unzipping her pants, she shoves them down her legs, groaning as she realizes she didn't pull off her hiking boots. Looking up as Tara comes sliding back into the room.

"Sit." Tara orders and quickly kneels, untying and yanking off the slayer's boots before pulling her pants the rest of the way off. Grasping the slayer's legs, she swings the slayer around, so her legs are on the bed climbing into the bed and placing Buffy's right leg in her lap as she pours some warming lotion into her hand, rubbing them together quickly and starting to work over the knotted up muscle. Wincing as she hears Buffy bite back a cry of pain. "Sorry."

"Gotta hurt to make it better." Buffy grunts and flops back onto the bed, throwing her forearm across her eyes as Tara's fingers start to dig into the muscle, loosening it.

After roughly fifteen minutes, Tara sighs as she feels the muscle finally unknot and loosen. Gentling her fingers, she reaches for the lotion, pouring a little more in her hand as she works on the whole calf, hoping to relax the muscle the rest of the way. "You overdid it." Tara comments quietly.

"Yeah." Buffy agrees softly as she pulls her arm away from her eyes, now that the pain isn't excruciating. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Tara looks up, smiling quickly at the slayer before turning her gaze back to what she's doing. "That was a nasty one. You actually might be feeling that deep in the muscle for a little while."

Buffy nods her agreement as she watches Tara silently. Having spent the better portion of the past four weeks with the Wiccan, not counting The first week she'd been unconscious, Buffy realizes she's come to care for the Wiccan immensely, the two women having talked extensively about anything and everything that had happened in their lives. Buffy had cautiously brought up about her doppelganger's death, and Willow's reaction. Tara had turned pale, having known what happened, but not the details. When Tara had explained to Buffy what exactly Willow had done, Buffy had been surprised, to say the least, that Willow would do something like that. When she'd turned angry at the thought of Willow's taking Tara's free will away from her, Tara had calmed her down whispering that it was over and done with a long time ago.

Buffy had finally told Tara about Kennedy and Willow, the two women having stuck together all these years, surprising her. Buffy had admitted her misgivings about the slayer to Tara, how she thought at first that Willow was just another in a long line of Kennedy's conquests…and that she had honestly thought that maybe Willow was using Kennedy to get over Tara. But over the years, Buffy had come to the conclusion that the two really did love each other. Maybe not in the way Tara and Willow had, but in a Kennedy and Willow way, which was their way and the right way. Tara had surprised her when she'd admitted that she was happy Willow had found someone to spend her life with.

When Buffy had questioned Tara if she'd had anyone to love, the Wiccan had just smiled sadly and shook her head. Explaining to Buffy that she hadn't been willing to risk being hurt again like Willow had hurt her. Admitting that she'd pretty much locked her heart away and was just taking life one day at a time, the days slowly becoming months then years.

Buffy shakes herself out of her musings as she feels Tara pat her knee gently. "That feels wonderful, Tara. Thank you."

"No thanks necessary." Tara smiles as she looks into Buffy's hazel eyes. "Anytime, sweetie. My door is always open to you."

Buffy shifts her body up, and props her hands behind her, to hold herself up as she looks at Tara for a few minutes. "Is there any way I can talk you into staying here when I go after the Krinakill Demon?"

"No." Tara answers calmly chuckling at the disgruntled look crossing the slayer's face. "I'll do a locator spell on him, to help get the general area he's in, to help out. Plus I've picked up a few tricks in the past few years. I think I might be of some help to you, if you need it." Tara's eyes twinkle as she looks at Buffy.

Buffy's mind literally drops into the gutter at the Wiccan's words. "I'm sure you could." Buffy roughly whispers, blinking and shaking her head at the thought of how helpful Tara could be. "Ummm. I think I'll be ready in a couple days to go after it. If you want to let whoever's going with, know…"

"I will." Tara pats Buffy's leg again as she shifts off the bed, grabbing the warming lotion before reaching down and grabbing Buffy's jeans, tossing them on the bed. "Would you like me to scrounge you up something to eat?"

"I'll come with." Buffy offers as she grabs her jeans, pulling them on her legs before standing and pulling them the rest of the way up. "It'll probably be good to work my leg, that way it doesn't stiffen back up on me too soon."

Tara smiles and nods her head in agreement. "Come on, sweetie. Let's see what we can come up with."

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To Live Again

by Kinetic-Kid

Copyright © 2008

kwhite14@yahoo.com