Waiting for Dani

by JustSkipIt

Copyright © 2006

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Willow and Tara and the Buffyverse. I'm not saying this universe is totally original but I didn't steal it from any author or creator that I know of. No copyright infringement is meant by this fic and I will not make any money from it.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse http://mysticmuse.net
Feedback: Yes, please. Please leave feedback on the Waiting for Dani thread on the Kitten Board.
Spoilers: None.
Author's Note: I expect this story will have 7-10 total updates. Right now I have four written and intend to post every week to start then possibly will drop to every other week.
I don't like the title very much but I think that I like it better than my alternative title: "My girl'. If you have a suggestion, PM me and maybe I'll use yours and give you credit.
If you have any questions, please ask.
I love you, Rachel and Asher.
Webhost's Note: Special thanks goes to Chris Cook of Through the Looking Glass, MKF and Artemis for the graphic at the top of the page. Thanks, Chris!
Pairing: Willow/Tara

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4    Part 5    Part 6    Part 7    Part 8    Part 9    Part 10    Part 11    Part 12    Part 13    Part 14    Part 15    Part 16    Part 17

Part 1
Waiting

I sit in the dark, my knees pulled up high in front of me and my arms wrapped around them. I am looking out the window into the darkness but not seeing. I could light a candle or twenty but I can't work up the will to do it. My girl, my new girl, will be up shortly. She will, no doubt, make haste in putting the room to order-light the lamps, pull me from my chair and tidy my hair and dress, fold down the bed, take me from the room and offer me any number of delicacies. The quail have been quite rich and plentiful this season or there's always duck. She whistles as she works which is more irritating than it should be.

Everything is in question. And that I, being who I am, is sitting in this state is against everything I've known. Against my family and breeding and what is so in this world. Maclays don't sit in the darkness waiting for their destiny to come to them. Maclays go after their destiny. Hunt it down. Own their destiny. For always and ever. But not this Maclay and not this day.

Perhaps I should explain who I am.

I am Tara Maclay.

I am Lady T'ra Maclay, magic practitioner and daughter of Lady T'rese Maclay, magic practitioner and daughter of Lady T'bitha Moster, magic practitioner. First daughter to Lady T'rese Maclay through Lord D'vid Maclay, first son of Lady T'my Maclay, magic practitioner.

If I were attending a coronation, ball, or other formal event, my title would be longer but I think you get the picture, as it were.

I have 20 summers to my age and most of this autumn season behind me. A few months ago I would have been out riding or hunting at this time of day. But the days are short and the air has turned cold and the chill has crept into this room. Oh yes, I'm sure my girl will stoke the fire when she comes.

Speaking of the devil, I hear her heavy step on the stairs now. I must remember to train her to tread more lightly. Or ask D'ni to do it.

But then, if D'ni was here, I wouldn't be sitting in the dark now would I?

My father's love for my mother was legendary. Literally. The song, which I heard from before I could walk or talk or crawl, before I took my first breath in this world, tells of their first meeting and subsequent second meeting.

My grandfather, Lord D'mitri Maclay, was six moons still from the heart spasm which killed him and placed my father as Lord Maclay. The estate was in good order, the skies were clear, and my father decided to go hunting in the afternoon, taking with him only three men-one his mark-bonded servant-the other two gamesmen of the estate. They began by tracking a stag but realized after a few hours that they were not the predators from which the stag flew. Rather, they found themselves chasing an elusive blue panther-so named for the fur so black it appeared blue in the sunlight. Eventually they dismounted and left my father's man with the horses, instructing him to follow closely enough that he could hear them. My father's man, unlike this new girl, could lead four horses through dense forest without so much as snapping a twig.

The wood wound and wound in on itself in such a way that at times the men felt they had entered a fairy world. At others they felt sure they should be back to where they started, but everywhere they looked, they saw something new. My father had hunted and explored these woods many times as had each of his companions. He considered the land his flesh, the trees his bones, and the rivers his blood so much a part of the Maclay family was it. But this was an entirely new land-one on which he was sure he'd never ventured before. All three men began to feel that the large cat was playing a game with them, leading them to some unknown destination. If not for the position of the sun, they would have sworn that they had been days or weeks in the wood. Their rations had run out and they now sought fresh water along with their prey. They were not only unwilling to give up the chase but suspected that they were also unable.

One of the gamesmen passed close to a towering oak tree and tore his heavy leather jacket, suffering a deep cut on his arm. He swore the rest of his life that the tree had moved to bite him and that only his quick movement allowed him to keep his arm.

My father could feel the fear building in his hunting party and knowing his responsibilities in such a situation, he did as he felt required: he reassured them that the cat had a purpose and that to doubt that purpose was to doubt The Creator herself. More than once, he stopped the group to offer supplication to the forest and sky. He vowed that when they found water he would know his life entire. All three men agreed that when he made this vow, the cat turned slowly around and looked at him. Then it turned and bounded away once again.

Discarding any thoughts of keeping quiet, the men set off at a run to chase the cat. Their bows and arrows were safely tucked into the quivers on their backs and each had a scabbard with a short dagger in his boot. While the woods were generally safe, one could never be completely assured of the safety of the Lord's son. Why in the past few months they had heard rumblings of a land battle in the Northern territories. It had not happened yet, but those who followed such things expected a battle in the next few seasons.

The men ran and ran, bounding up a winding path and climbing higher and higher into the side of a cliff. Blood seeped from the injured man's arm to the ground but there was no stopping. Finally all four men, my father's servant having abandoned any pretense of following quietly, burst into a clearing. They stopped smartly, their shock evident on their faces.

In the clearing, at the edge of a crystal clear stream sat a girl-my mother it should be no surprise. Her right hand, she extended palm side toward the men, showing her mark. The panther was nestled against her knee as if he was a harmless housecat and her left hand was just in front of the panther's mouth. Suspended in mid-air in front of the panther and obviously extending from my mother's power was a small bowl, made of nothing but crystal clear water. A waterfall came from her left hand into the bowl and the spill-over from the bowl fell into the stream.

My father and his men immediately bowed deeply and held their position for three heart-beats. The one mark-bound servant, D'rek, fell to his knees, bowed, and stayed there. The others extended their left hands in a mirror of my mother's action. While the marks on my father's hand were extensive and elaborate, indicating his great wealth and lineage, they paled to those he saw before him. He quickly assessed, seeing that she was third in a direct line of magic users, unmarried, first daughter of a Lord and Lady. My mother assessed a similar strength in his marks and then both seemed to take in all of the other: faces, bodies, the very air around them.

"Prrr says that you came between her and her dinner," my mother said quietly. The panther's name sounded more like the sound a big cat makes than a name but my father and his men understood.

Again he bowed deeply. "Please let her know that we are very sorry. We did not know she lived in this wood."

My mother looked at the cat for a few moments, then smiled and nodded. "This is not our usual way but the wood looked so beautiful that we decided to…explore." As she spoke she moved her hand and the bowl slowly dissolved into the stream from which it had come. She dropped both hands into her lap. After a moment she stood and straightened her skirt, brushing the grass and dirt from it.

"Please," my father asked, "may we see you home?"

The cat and my mother each let out a small giggle at the request but did not insult my father with an outright laugh. "I would be honored but we may move faster than you can keep up. Please come Thursday next." Before my father could answer, she and the cat had vanished into the trees.

None of the men spoke although my father motioned that his man could get up as he stared at the spot where the woman had disappeared. "Everyone saw that right?" He turned to his companions. When they nodded he smiled. "I'm going to marry that woman."

His hunting partners guffawed and clapped him on the back. "Of course you are young Maclay! Hip hip!" Seeing that my father would have nothing to think of but this woman until he saw her again, they gave up their holiday and mounted their horses for home.

Once home, my father could speak of nothing but the beautiful and powerful woman he had met. He hadn't even found out her name or given his but he knew that they could meet again. The next Thursday a traveling expedition set out from my grandfather's estate. The processional included my grandfather and grandmother, my father and his three brothers, his sister T'solde, a crew of over 20 free men and mark-bound servants, and the most highly regarded bard in all the land. All rode the finest horses, in full dress regalia. They brought with them a meal of 7 pigs, 30 chickens, 3 cows, countless bushels of corn, wheat, and berries. Wagons in the rear brought barrels of ale and bottles of fine wine, the finest made on my grandfather's estate.

My grandmother, Lady T'my Maclay, a powerful magic practitioner, led the expedition from a perch atop her elephant. She asked no direction from my father nor communicated any information regarding their journey. Just behind my grandmother rode my father's sister T'Solde, now Lady of a neighboring Estate and herself a powerful force of magic. Following her was my grandfather, then my father and his brothers on their horses. Each woman and man's mark-bound servant rode along side him or her, ½ horse-lengths back. The rest of the caravan was comprised of the servants and free-men who worked for my family.

At high noon exactly according to the family astronomer, my grandmother atop her elephant stepped into the same clearing in which my father had met my mother. She stopped her animal and waited as the rest of the processional assumed appropriate positions next to or behind her, mark-bound servants bowing their heads to the ground. Those who possessed noble marks on their hands extended their hands in front of them to display their position and introduce their arrival.

Arrayed in front of them, in every piece of finery they seemed to possess, was my mother's family. My maternal grandmother, Lady T'bitha Moster, stood a position of honor and leadership mirroring my father's mother. To her immediate right was my mother and next to her, my mother's sister, Melanie. To her left, her husband, Lord Moster (my grandfather), and their sons. Like my father's family, my mother's had brought numerous employees and mark-bound servants.

The assemblage stood still for a number of minutes, studying the marks on each other's hands. As now, then, the practice of reading marks of nobility served as an introduction. By studying the elaboration, design, and extent of the marks, you can learn a person's nobility, rank, lineage, and power. My grandfathers could note each other's rank as Lord not only by the elaboration and decoration of their family crest but by the dark prints on each of their fingertips and thumb. My grandmothers likewise held five prints as well as indication of their magical power and lineage. My mother's hand showed even greater magical power and lineage than her mother's but only four prints, indicating a non-Lady but magic practitioner. My father's hand also showed four prints, declaring him to be the future Lord Maclay as did my mother's oldest brother. Others – my uncles and aunts – held three prints.

I can remember as a child studying my hand. I would turn the right palm toward myself and trace it with the fingertips of my left hand. What would my marks look like? When would I get them? How would they appear? Before I understood what it would take to receive them, I thought they would spontaneously appear. At my father's knee as he read a story, I held and studied the marks on his left hand, tracing each line and curlicue with my fingertips. Now I can trace the marks which completely fill my palm and fingers. Unmarried, still I have been Lady Maclay - holding five prints - since the taking of my marks. I've seen reproductions of my mother's marks and they were beautiful indeed. Mine is more elaborate still than either of my parents as befits a fourth- generation magic practitioner, Lady of the estate, first daughter of the Lord of the estate. The closest mark I've ever seen is that on the back of my father's hand-the marriage marks which intertwined his marks with my mothers. Mine are more elaborate still than those. Even now, I'm not sure I fully understand the magic bound within the marks.

And D'ni's marks? So like mine, but not on her hand. She took her marks shortly after mine. But that's another tale. For another time.

The inspection completed and marks obviously approved, my grandmother's servant sensed her wishes and quickly placed a step next to her elephant so that my grandmother could dismount. The rest of the party followed suit and as one bowed to their counterparts, holding the bow for the necessary and respectful three heartbeats. When they stood again, my mother's family returned the honor-their action indicating an acceptance of the meeting.

At the command of my grandmothers and their mark-bound servants, the servants and workers quickly dispersed to their duties in preparing the lodging and feast. My father's and mother's brothers gathered and mounted a hunting expedition. My father and both of my grandfathers touched marks and introduced themselves verbally using their full formal titles before stepping to the side and taking the seats which their servants placed for them.

Finally my grandmothers stepped together and joined their palms as they verbally introduced themselves giving their full formal titles. My mother's mother introduced her followed by my aunt Melanie. This introduction was the first time my father had heard my mother's first name: T'rese. My father's mother, in turn introduced her daughter, my aunt T'solde, and herself.

As the other women waited, Melanie stepped to the side and drew a circle. Once complete, she sat outside the circle. My grandmothers, mother, and Aunt T'solde stepped into the circle and completed the casting.

Magic is a rarity in our society. In order for a woman to possess active magic, to be able to harness and grow its power, she must have three characteristics. First, she must have a magic user in her direct maternal lineage. Her mother, grandmother, or farther back must have been a magic user. It is not enough to have a sister or aunt who was a magic user. Second, she must have a magic practitioner in her paternal lineage. Again, his mother, grandmother or farther back must have had magic. And third, she must be her father's first female issue. Any prior female issue, legitimate or illegitimate, magic user or non-magic user will cause the child to be a carrier of the magical gene but not a magic practitioner.

So my aunt Melanie could not cast although she carries a strong magical tradition and could pass it on to her daughters. No man could cast either although my father passed his magic on to me and my brother, D'nnie can pass his magic on to his first daughter. Likewise, my sisters-while not active magic practitioners-can pass their magic on to their daughters depending on their respective husband's lineage. Because magic was initially a characteristic only of nobility, it is still concentrated chiefly among our ranks. Some believe that a free- woman of no rank and certainly a mark-bound servant can not be a magic practitioner.

I once asked Melanie as she conducted my lesson how it felt to not be able to perform the simplest spell in spite of knowing how to do it all and the look of pain and sadness on her face made me, even the impertinent child I was, swear regret for such a question.

But really, my brother, my sisters, Melanie teaching me magic? That again comes later in this tale. And it will because we must get back to D'ni and why I'm waiting, listening to those too loud steps on the stair.

As my father, grandfathers, and Melanie watched the four women in the circle began a joint spell to demonstrate the power and delicacy of their magic. Taking turns they conjured water from air, fountains of swans floating in the grass before floating to the skies. They brought rains from heaven and stopped it over their heads, caused grapes and berries to sprout from beneath their seats. My grandmother conjured the illusion of a herd of elephants and my mother brought her familiar, Prr, into the circle to be petted by each of the others. Lights filled the sky, illuminating the gathering dusk enough to allow work on the feast to continue. T'solde caused music to begin to roll from the trees and servants danced as they worked.

While the rest of the gathering met, danced, ate, and eventually slept, the women remained in the circle creating greater and greater magic.

My father bowed down before my grandfather, Lord Moster, promising that the first daughter born him by my mother would be a powerful magician. He swore on his honor and the drawing of his breath that there was no chance that he had another. My grandfather, Lord Maclay, added his own vow to strengthen his son's.

At daybreak, a thousand doves rose from the lines of the circle and flew over the clearing before dispersing.

My grandmothers broke the circle and took my mother by the hand. My father's sister and Melanie each placing her right hand on my mother's shoulder blades. They crossed the clearing to where my father waited. My mother's mother took my father's hands, my father's mother my mother's hands and they placed their marks palm to palm as they introduced my parents.

My parents were joined eight moons later, the original date postponed following my grandfather's sudden departure from this world and my father's ascension to Lord of the estate. The magic performed at the joining ceremony made that at my parents's second meeting look like the work of a toddler. In all, the wedding boasted eight active magic practitioners and the ensuing celebration lasted seven days. My father, his marks freshly augmented with his ascension to Lord of the estate accepted his wedding marks with nothing but smiles and my mother could be seen to cry tears of joy as the Maclay marks were intertwined with her own. Their mark-bound servants accompanied them to the tent to accept their own elevated-fifth level-marks.

My brother, D'nnie, was born ten and a half moons after the wedding celebration. His birth was no disappointment given that my parents knew they could and would have more children. Within a twelve-month, my mother was pregnant again. This time, however, she had more pain, more discomfort, and even the greatest healers in the land could not help her. At eight moons, she struggled many hours to birth me. Her energy was only enough that she held me once and kissed my forehead and right hand before leaving this world forever.

My father bellowed like a wounded and tortured animal. Then he walked into the room and took me from my mother's grasp. He leaned over to kiss her on the lips and whispered to her. Then he looked in my eyes and promised me every happiness he had felt since the moment he had first seen my mother.

I can only begin, now sitting in this chair in the darkness, to start to understand the gravity of my father's pain in that moment. To love so deeply, so purely, so completely and have that taken from you so quickly…I don't know how he bore it all these years, nor how I will if that is the will of The Creator.

I've never known if my father and Melanie were brought together by politics or grief. Did they love each other? Do they? Is it the love of my mother which binds them together even now? Their wedding was rushed and private, my father taking on no greater marks although Melanie took on the Maclay ones as well as her fourth finger. I've never felt jealousy from her although she'll never take on that fifth mark. Even if I'd never ascended to my Ladyship, it would go to Donnie's wife.

The twins were born 18 moons after me-Anne so much like Melanie and Faith so much like father.

And D'ni?

I've never asked her because she would know no better than I how she came to be here. I've asked Melanie and D'Shel the story over and over. Each time, I've varied questions slightly, wanting to understand the shadings of the tale. Although it is not such a tale as mine, I suspect it is highly important. How could it not be?

I was two months old, tended by one of the servants. She was mark- bound to the house, having been formerly bound to my grandmother. While she still retained her five marks and all the rights of them, she was no longer my grandmother's to command with my grandmother gone. In attempting to decide who was the most appropriate caretaker for me, my father and T'solde had settled on D'rs. We were in the kitchen, where apparently I enjoyed the heat of the ovens and the noise of the many cooks. There was a knock at the back door and D'rs answered it, allowing in a woman, dressed in rags but clean and respectful. The woman dropped to her knees and addressed D'rs appropriately, begging for an audience with the Lord of the estate.

Taking pity on the poor soul, D'rs allowed her into the kitchen and quickly had someone bring her stew and bread. The woman accepted them and ate hungrily. When she thanked D'rs she explained that her baby had not had much to eat in the last few days and leaned back to show her rounded belly. D'rs fed her again and allowed her to tidy up before leading D'Shel into my father's study.

The woman bowed to my father and awaited his attention which he quickly and compassionately gave. Then she very honestly explained her situation. She claimed to be from The Estate of Roses, to the far North, was with child, as D'rs had seen, and wanted only safety and the best possible placement for her daughter (for she was sure to have a daughter she vowed). She had heard of my father's unending love for my mother and for his baby (this being me). Tears leaked from her eyes as she explained that she had milk for a baby but no baby to nurse and could nourish me.

Without taking details from her but accepting her honesty and desperation, my father agreed to take the two souls into his household. D'Shel accepted her marks that very night although both she and my father swear he did not take his marks-rights, then or ever.

It was of course understood that if born a girl, the child would be mine. When my D'ni was born she was placed at D'Shel's other breast and into my crib.

Part 2
Lessons

I can never remember a time when Dani wasn't with me. She and I and Donnie and later the three of us and Faith and Anne. We two rolled and played in my rooms before we could crawl, crawled when we could, and walked within days of each other: me late for my months and she early. When they were born Anne and Faith were placed in my rooms, on my rugs and the four of us happily slept, ate, and grew together. Even later with Donnie in his rooms, Dani and I in mine, and Anne and Faith in theirs, it seemed the five of us were constantly together.

As a child, I could detect no difference in my father's treatment or love for any of us. I don't even think I understood for many years our various relationships. And while Melanie was only mother to the twins, she cared for, loved, and instructed all of us. I certainly didn't notice that my clothes were finer, more ornate than the other children's' nor that Dani's were the least ornate. We five toddled through the manor terrorizing servants, breaking crystals left within our reach, and pulling on the dogs' and cats' tails with wild abandon. It never occurred to us that someone had to clean up in our wake and I'm not entirely sure that Anne understands this truth now.

The kitchens were a haven for us. We ran in and through them playing hiding games from each other or in escaping Melanie, D'Shel, D'rs, or a host of other guardians and would-be guardians. The cooks were always a soft touch for a drink of sweet goat milk, a hot bun, or a nibble of sausage and they found Dani so charming that we would set her up to go in the kitchen as we hid beneath the table before she understood the words we trained her to say. Her bright red-hair, such contrast to our blondes and brown, brought her renown and adoration in the house. Occasionally I heard mutterings of a Northern land and mystery.

Donnie was oldest and a boy and my father would take him for long rides in the forest teaching him hunting and tracking. And none of our lessons had begun formally yet. Yet, it seemed that every action was a sort of lesson. As we walked we began to understand who was who in the house and how to detect a person's rank by observing others behavior toward him. We saw D'rs, Melanie, and my father deal with service people, vendors, and other land-holders. Even Melanie's girl, D'elam, showed us how to interact with the other mark-bound servants. She after all had four marks, second only to father's man and D'rs.

Donnie's lessons began and a tutor came from town every day on his horse and met with the young boy in Donnie's rooms. The rest of us saw less of him from then on but after his lessons he always came to play with us.

Before my own lessons started, my father came to my rooms one day. Dani and I were playing a dress-up game and when my father came in he stopped in the doorway and watched us. Dani spotted him first and ran to him. He picked her up and swung her in the air before hiding her behind his back. "Tara, where did Dani go?"

"She's behind your back," I shouted as I jumped up and down on my feet, waiting for my turn to be swung into his arms.

He smiled and turned a complete circle, exposing a giggling redheaded child to my view but not finding her himself. "I didn't see her," he insisted.

"Daddy," I yelled pulling on his shirt, "you're holding her behind your back. You will have to set her down to see her again."

"Dani!" he yelled. "Where are you?"

Everyone said that I had a wonderful pout and I decided to put it to great use. "Daddy. Please give her back to me. She's mine and I can't live without her." I stuck out my lip and sat down on the floor pretending to cry. At six I couldn't have imagined the truth of either of those statements.

My father swung Dani back over his head and set her in front of me. "Well, then Miss Tara Maclay, daughter of T'rese Maclay, I can no more deny you that which you love than I could myself. Here is your Dani."

What had begun as a game with my father had turned into an emotional event for me. I reached up to grasp Dani and pull her to me, running my small hands through her hair and whispering to her that she could never leave me. She turned toward me and embraced me back vowing that she would never even think of it.

Comforted I jumped to my feet and took my father's hands in my own. He repeated his actions, swinging me in the air and hiding me behind his back. Dani pleaded for my return and he finally did so but without quite the ceremony.

Then he leaned on the doorframe and smiled his smile. "I have a present for you my daughter, in honor of your lessons beginning next week."

I jumped up and down clapping my hands before extending them and closing my eyes. "I want it. I want it," I chanted.

"Come then." He picked me up in one arm and Dani in the other and carried us through the castle.

"Lord Maclay," Melanie interrupted our journey, "I can not find your youngest child anywhere."

My father laughed. "She's probably in a tree again. If I see her, I'll shoot her down and send the pieces home."

Melanie returned my father's infectious laughter. "Please catch her as she falls then. She is supposed to be napping with Anne."

My father didn't break stride in carrying us out through the kitchen, snagging three sweet buns on our way and passing one to each of us. The servants bowing down to him returned to their duties as soon as we were out of the room.

My father was a wonderful tease and he decided to start as we walked. "I said to myself, 'self. What should I get my oldest daughter? Would she like a ship?'"

I interrupted excitedly. "There is no water here. I would have no place to sail." Besides Donnie, myself, and the twins, I don't think anyone else would have been impertinent or stupid enough to interrupt my father, even if he was just teasing. But I had no idea of this. Many years later, I remember that Dani never once interrupted him and wonder how she knew so early this boundary.

My father just continued. "Then I said to myself, 'what about a dragon? They are quite plentiful this time of year and I could get a very good deal on one in the next village.'" Dani and I laughed at the mental image of my father bringing a dragon home on a leash like a new hunting dog. "Or a flying machine so she could traverse the lands in moments?"

All laughing, we arrived at the corral. I could feel Dani's trembling as she reached her hand behind my father's back and took mine. In the corral stood two ponies, each saddled with leather bearing the Maclay family crest. My father set us on the top rail and climbed over into the corral, bringing the horses close to allow us to pet their noses. "What are their names?" I wanted to know.

He looked genuinely curious about this question. "I didn't ask them. Blasted." He leaned over and mock-whispered in the horses' ears, allowing us to hear this very question. Then he put his ear near their mouths and laughed. "They said they have no names yet and you should give them names."

I leaned over and whispered into Dani's ear for a conference on the names of the horses. She was either too scared of them or otherwise too reticent and insisted that I name both horses. I looked a long time at my companion and considered many names-Beauty, Baby Girl, Love-but couldn't think of saying those to my horse. Finally I announced my choice. "This one is Dream and this one is Hope."

The ponies whinnied and my father declared that to be their approval. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and Dani did too but I could tell she was very afraid. "Maybe we could ride together this time?"

He glanced at Dani and nodded his approval of the idea. Then he placed us on the horse, me behind and Dani in front of the pommel and wrapped my hands around her small waist. He handed me the reins and put a hand on the pony's bridle. "Hold on," he instructed as he began to lead us about the corral, leaving the second horse standing at the fence.

Dani trembled in my arms and I attempted to comfort her. I remembered once we had snuck off during a celebration for Donnie and she was convinced that one of the ponies had tried to bite her arm off. I argued with her that he just wanted some of the cake crumbs on her shoulder but she would have none of that explanation-still won't. I leaned forward in the saddle to press my body against hers and placed my mouth near her ear to begin whispering to her. I don't know what came over me but I began to chant a melody that I'd never heard. I could imagine colors coming from my mouth and filling her body with relaxation and it seemed to be working. I noticed my father looking at me curiously and then nodding but he said nothing. I didn't have any understanding of the meaning of my song. All I knew was that this, her, us, was what should be. That we should always be together, the two of us and that nothing could separate us and that I wanted most in the world for her to be happy with me. I wanted her to be mine forever.

As I was melting into a fantasy of my Dani, we suddenly all jerked our heads up as we heard a shout from the side of the corral. Faith leapt down from her perch on a low tree branch and ran for the fence, quickly scaling it and jumping onto the other pony's back. She grabbed the reins and gave a kick and the pony trotted around the circuit as Faith whooped and hollered. My father stood and watched dumbfounded as his youngest child went around the corral like she had been born on that horse.

I felt Dani's body tense and I suddenly picked up an impression from her mind. I don't know any better way to describe it. I could feel her fear. She was afraid to be on the horse but more than that, she was afraid that Faith and I would now ride without her, leaving her behind. I leaned forward and attempted to reassure her. "She's just my baby sister. You are my girl."

My father's attention was on our dark-haired hellion and Dani leaned slightly to the side and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. I still remember coherent thoughts at the time leaving me completely to be replaced by wishes that she would do nothing but that for the rest of time.

Laughing my father shouted across the corral. "You are supposed to be napping with Anne."

Faith rode alongside the fence and mounted the top rail without stopping the pony before shouting back. "Anne needs her beauty sleep. I don't." She was up the nearest tree and out of sight before any of us could answer.

"I don't know whether to be proud as hell at her or appalled at the way she runs free." My father shook his head and slapped his knee before telling us that it was getting late and we needed to wash up for dinner.

I don't want to give the impression that Dani never learned to ride. She wasn't like Faith but no one has ever been like Faith. Within months of starting, and father had to get Faith her pony or Dani would never have had one to ride, she could outride all us children and most of the adults. By the time I had twelve summers, only father's best hunters, the very men who had been with him when he met my mother, could equal her at riding or tracking.

Dani was a perfectly adequate rider once she got over her initial reluctance. We rode virtually every day following lessons and agreed that it was a good chance for me to rest my brain. Sometimes I led and sometimes she did and sometimes we just allowed the horses to wander. Most frequently we rode for a while, then stopped as Dani climbed from her horse to mine leaving Hope to graze as we rode together into the waning sun. I don't think she was scared any longer but we both craved the closeness of our rides and wouldn't be without them.

My lessons began the week after father gave me the horses. A tutor came from town every day on a horse, usually greeted first by Faith in bare feet, and met me in my rooms. Sometimes Dani was with me during the lessons, resting on her pad or straightening the room and sometimes she was not. I didn't know where she was and didn't think to ask. It was, I guess, an example of my self-absorption that I didn't acknowledge that she had any existence apart from me. While I sat in attention at my desks as the tutor repeated and repeated the lessons, Dani was in the room or elsewhere and I didn't give any conscious thought to her whereabouts.

One day, my tutor and I left for a walk around the grounds to take in the beautiful spring weather. We were working on Latin verbs and I felt that their staleness was particularly good for a long walk. I came back to my rooms quite tired from so much intense thought. Once I'd bid the tutor from my outer room, I wandered into my bed chamber. There, to my surprise, stood a large four-poster bed. Until this time, Dani and I had slept on a small mattress on the floor. Children flop about quite violently and it was tradition in our household to use mattresses such as this to avoid injuries in the night. Rather than replacing the bed, I found my mattress folded in half and still at the foot of the bed. After dinner, I returned to my rooms and prepared for sleeping. Dani set my hair, helped me into my nightgown, and kissed my cheek before lying down on the mat.

"Dani," I said, "what are you doing?"

"Going to bed, Miss," she answered. "As should you." She waved her small hand at my new bed which looked the size of the ocean and just as lonely to me.

"But I can't sleep up here alone," I protested.

Dani stood up and led me by my hands to the bed. She helped me under the covers and then promised that she would stay with me until I was asleep. She was a terrible singer but what she made up for in tone, she had in determination. She began singing and I was soon asleep. I woke in the morning to find myself alone in the bed. I cast my hand about to find the bed cold except for the spot where I slept. Dani was not in the room but when I climbed down, I felt the floor pad and found it warm from her tiny body.

I sat on the bed trying to understand what I was missing. It was as if many people were in collaboration on a set of rules that I had yet to comprehend.

Not much later, perhaps a few weeks, I was studying in my room and Dani was brushing my clothes. I was reciting (Latin verbs again). "Amo, amas, amat, amatis, amamus, amant. Amo, amas, amat, amatis, amamus, amant." I closed my eyes and continued repeating the declination. When I opened them I glanced down to see Dani kneeling at my side. She was facing the same direction as me with her eyes cast toward the floor. I laughed at first thinking that she was having a joke on me.

"Ok, Dani, what are you doing?" She didn't answer and I repeated her name. Still no answer. Finally, I tapped her on the shoulder repeating her name.

Dani sat up and addressed me. "Miss Tara? I believe you have the verbs out of order. It should be Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant." I still felt befuddled about this new and very strange kneeling behavior not to mention that she had now called me "Miss" twice. I shook my head and opened my Latin grammar. She was right, of course. I thanked her and then asked her to sit with me.

We moved to the bed where she sat on the edge and did not make good eye contact. "Please look at me, Dani." She did exactly as I asked. "What is going on? Why were you kneeling?"

She squinched her eyebrow down in a way that made her look even younger than her seven years. "I have lessons too, Miss Tara."

I still didn't quite understand her. "You have lessons with who? Is that why you're not here for my lessons? I thought you wanted to learn with me. Where have you been?"

"I see D'elam every day," Dani explained as if she thought I should know this already.

"D'elam? Why D'elam?" My face must have been a picture of puzzlement.

"Perhaps you should speak to Miss Melanie?" Dani looked away and I saw a moment of pure pain and embarrassment in her eyes.

It was a look I never wanted to see again and I couldn't help but lean over and press my lips to her cheek. "You're my Dani," I whispered as I let my fingertips fall through her beautiful hair.

"I know," she said and there was something in her tone that I couldn't identify.

After dinner, I went to Melanie's rooms. D'elam met me and allowed me inside. Melanie welcomed me and gave me a kiss on each cheek before inviting me to sit at her table. D'elam brought us each a cup of tea and I thought about the fact that no one ever seemed to ask how I liked my tea, nor Melanie for that matter, yet it always seemed completely perfect. I didn't know how to start so I just blurted out what came to my mind. "Dani has been very weird lately."

Melanie took a long sip of tea and seemed to study me intently. "Weird how?"

"Well when I got the bed, she was strange, calling me 'Miss' and not getting into bed with me and today she kneeled, actually kneeled down to tell me something." I didn't say that Dani knew the verb declination correctly while I did not.

Melanie nodded her head. "That's good. Her lessons are progressing nicely then. I shall have to let D'elam know." She took a breath and muttered that D'elam would correct her about the kneeling though.

"What lessons? What is progressing?" I shook my head trying to understand if everyone in the house had suddenly gone mad or something.

"How old are you, Miss Tara?"

"What?" I shuddered at the strangeness of the question. "I…" I drew myself up to my full seated height. "I have nearly eight summers."

Melanie nodded again and set down her tea cup. She leaned across and took my hands. "Miss Tara, each of us has a role in life. Your role is to be Lady of this estate or of another estate if you choose to marry so. Your destiny was created many years ago."

I had heard my parents' legend many times. "I've heard the legend."

"It could be very soon, as soon as four or five summers that you will be ready to take your marks, Miss Tara."

I nodded.

"When you are ready to take them, Dani will need to be ready too." Melanie's words didn't make any sense to me.

"Dani's marks?" I shook my head. "What marks are you talking about? I thought only we," I waved my hand between Melanie and myself, "took marks."

Melanie pursed her lips. Just at that instant Anne came bounding through the door followed by Faith. "She took my doll!" the blonde wailed.

D'elam quickly corralled both girls and admonished them before sending them with one of the other servants to have their baths. Then she returned to our room and waited patiently.

"D'elam, do you mind?" Melanie asked.

"Not at all, Miss." D'elam approached the table and stood with her right side closer to the edge. Melanie reached out and gently pulled up on her cover and down on the waistband of her trousers. I tilted my eye to look at her hip. As I did, Melanie put her right hand on the table. The marks matched perfectly. Every aspect of Melanie's palm's decoration was mirrored on D'elam's hip. You could even see the four fingerprints, looking almost as if someone had grasped her too tightly and left a bruise.

I tilted my head as I looked between the two marks. I could feel a slight tingling. Like the static after a rainstorm or when you shuffle your feet on the rugs and then touch metal.

"Thank you, D'elam," Melanie said. D'elam adjusted her clothing, bowed slightly and retreated from the room.

"I don't understand," I told my aunt.

"D'elam is my mark-bonded servant." I stared at her. "She has been bonded to me since I took my marks."

"We have many servants in the house," I said. I still didn't understand what this had to do with Dani or her strange behavior.

"Yes, we have many servants but not all are mark-bonded to one of us." I took another sip of my tea trying to understand this explanation. Melanie took a deep breath. "Your mother could have done a better job with this explanation. We need…someone who is loyal to us. To each of us personally. Someone to serve and accompany us always. A servant of the family is just that. But you, a member of the nobility need someone to serve you personally. This is what it means to be mark- bonded."

"Dani?"

"Once your servant is mark-bonded to you, it would be literally impossible for her to leave you. To cross you. To fail you. Actually impossible." She leaned down her head, trying to see my eyes beneath the veil of my hair. "Dani is yours, Miss Tara."

I could feel hot tears rising to my eyes even though I wasn't sure why. "But sh-sh-she's my friend. I love her."

Melanie brushed my hair away from my eyes and behind my ears. "As you should. And you will take care of her, Miss Tara. Bonded to you she will have five marks. It is the greatest honor, the greatest protection we can offer those we hold." She took a breath. "You will always take care of her as you would your most valuable possession and in return, she will serve you with her every breath and movement."

I wanted to cry but I didn't want to do it here. The strange thought crossed my mind that Dani would hold me if I asked her. That she would have to. I thought of asking Melanie if this meant that Dani didn't love me as I loved her but I knew that wasn't the right question. Melanie leaned over and took my hands. "Miss Tara, you have your lessons and Dani has hers. You are very complimentary and will make a good pair."

She stood and the interview was very obviously over.

I bowed quickly and left her rooms, making my way back to my own, I have no idea how. By the time I was inside my bed chamber, hot tears were streaming down my face. I stumbled forward, seeing Dani sitting up on her mattress and opening her arms toward me. I fell into them, wiping my face on her nightgown and muttering to her. "It's not true. It can't be true." I kept repeating it over and over.

"It's ok, Miss Tara." Dani leaned against the bed, stroking my hair and face and back and whispering to me until I relaxed and fell asleep.

I woke in my own bed, alone and immediately felt both hurt and angry. I quelled those feelings and sat up. The instant I sat up, Dani came in. She bowed and walked over to the bed. "How are you feeling, Miss Tara?" she asked. "Would you like to wash before breakfast?"

I grabbed her hands and pulled her onto the bed with me. "Dani." She didn't look me in the eye so I said her name again, more forcefully. "Dani. Please look at me." She looked up and I noticed the red rims around her eyelids. I leaned forward and kissed each tender eyelid. "My girl, you've been crying." I hugged her tight. "It's ok, Dani. It just means we can't be parted."

She swallowed and nodded. "I know, Miss Tara. We'll never be parted." I hugged her again and after a few minutes she again prodded me to get up and moving for the day.

I was so naïve. I had no understanding. None at all. And…and I loved her so fiercely. I remember actually feeling that I would stop breathing without her. That if she were not in the world, I could not be either. And that depth of feeling was before we were mark-bonded. That was how I felt at eight summers. I look back on it now and am ashamed of myself. I had no understanding of her feelings. No hint of empathy for her.

I wonder if she has any empathy for me now.

And so our lessons continued. I met with my tutor six days in every seven-day, with one day off "for good behavior" as we all joked. Donnie's schedule mirrored mine. I studied Latin, French, Composition, Mathematics, Music, Art, and increasingly Politics. Donnie's subjects were similar to mine but with less emphasis on music and more on oration. It was entirely possible that the absence of oration was intentional in my subjects as I had somehow developed a stutter. I believe that my father and Melanie decided that it was a temporary situation which would resolve itself all on its own.

I believed, for good or aught, that my voice was hurt by the absence of Dani. Not that Dani had gone anywhere, but I continued to wake in the night and mourn her sleeping so far from me. At times I had nightmares that I had lost her and when I did, I always awoke crying. She must have trained herself to become a very light sleeper because my waking always brought her into the bed to hold and comfort me. I felt selfish but at the same time happy to have her close again.

I have to wonder, sitting here now, will the nightmares be anything like the real experience? How will I sleep tonight?

Where my lessons increased and intensified, Dani's did so even more quickly. She yearned for knowledge like no one I have ever encountered. She accompanied me to every lesson she could to soak up that learning in addition to increased meetings with D'elam and now D'rs also. Nearly every day one of the two of them came to her and held a lesson with her somewhere in the house. I knew no details on this because it wasn't the type of thing I was expected to have access to. While it was perfectly acceptable and even encouraged for Dani to accompany me to my lessons whenever possible, it was not considered appropriate for me to accompany her. Initially I had thought that I would have to sneak to allow Dani to continue my education along with me but knowing what would be expected of Dani, Melanie and my father encouraged her education.

Amazingly, in spite of her other lessons and in spite of missing some of mine, Dani exceeded both myself and Donnie at learning the material we had to cover. She could memorize a speech, spelling, or translation the first time she heard it and her ability to comprehend mathematics was truly spectacular. I would be sitting at a desk, doodling with my pencil while the tutor laid out a sum regarding the amount of seed required to plant a field, the expected yield depending on weather, and cost per gram of seed. Dani, would be doing other chores as he spoke and when he finally asked the cost for planting the estate's fields as well as the expected yield, she would have the answer. She wouldn't be so impertinent as to give that answer quicker than I or Donnie but I could always tell that she had already figured it before I could even set my pencil to the slate. Somehow in spite of our enforced distance, or perhaps because of it, we seemed to have even greater communication powers. I could often feel what Dani was feeling or thinking simply by looking at her and while she would not admit it, it was obvious that she had the same ability.

If she missed a lesson, she would absolutely insist that I report every thing that the tutor had said. She, of course, couldn't force me to do anything but she would pout and ask specific questions until I might just as well repeat everything I had heard that day. If she could corral Donnie, she made him give a report just as well, even if she had already heard the report from me and in case I had missed anything.

I will say this: having to repeat a lesson for someone turned out to be the best way for me to learn as well as helping my stutter. The tutor and his successor and his eventual successor gave father nothing but glowing reports of both my and Donnie's progress. I wonder what he would have said if he had been asked to give a report on Dani. I chuckle just thinking about it.

Anne and Faith began their studies a few years after Dani and me. I remember some discussion among the adults that perhaps Dani should be sent to the younger girls' lessons, as if Dani could not keep up with me. I remain convinced that even studying full-time with Donnie would not have been enough of a challenge for my brilliant girl.

The only failing Dani had was singing. Her voice was terrible. Awful. We all joked that when Dani started singing it was time to put the dogs out so that didn't have to contend with their howling along with hers. She took the teasing in stride and continued whistling as she accomplished her duties.

My father was an ardent believer in time outside for everyone. He required that everyone, from the lowest kitchen drudge to himself, spend some time out of doors having some exercise time every day. We children, often joined by countless visiting cousins from the neighboring estates, would complete our lessons and run screeching from the manor. If led by Faith, the afternoon would result in dares and eventual exhaustion. By Donnie, we all set out for a ride and usually returned with wild game for the kitchens. Anne was likely to organize the group into a game or dance of some sort. Myself, I found joy in riding.

No one questioned Dani and me riding together. It was well known that she would be mark-bound to me and seemed reasonable that we would ride together when we could. I loved nothing in the world better than the feeling of her small body against mine as we rode. I could feel our heartbeats and more often than not, they were perfectly synchronized.

I didn't think anything of it then-my need to possess her. I just knew that I needed to be close to her. As close as possible as much as possible. Her feelings about it? That wasn't something we were prepared or inclined to discuss. I can honestly admit, and I'm not proud of this, that I never considered what she wanted. I just thought it was what was so. That we should be together, that we would be together.

At times I even felt jealous of her. It was ridiculous. She was to be bound to me. There was nothing Faith could do about that but a part of me just felt so…One thing that they shared was a love for climbing trees. Anytime we couldn't find the pair of them, you could be sure they were up a tree somewhere. Of course Dani never stayed hidden long if she sensed I was looking for her but if Donnie or Anne needed her, they might as well lie down and cry as look for those scoundrels. Some times I worked to mask my need for her and helped the other two search. And at those times, it was truly amazing how long it would take to find them. More often than not, we would give up and walk back into the manor to find them eating an apple in the kitchen with innocent looks on their faces. Then Donnie would chase Faith through the house screaming that he would find her one day until D'elam or D'rs kicked us all out again.

One day the two of them were off climbing trees and Donnie was, as usual searching for them with a very surly manner. I had extra lessons that day and was studying under a tree when I heard a scream. I stood and ran as quickly as I could, my heart pounding until I found them near one of the largest of the oak trees. Dani sat on the ground, clutching her ankle with tears streaming down her face. Faith and Donnie quickly picked her up and carried inside as I ran ahead calling for the healer. The healer came and thanks to The Creator, Dani's ankle was just sprained, not broken. She was in bed for two days with D'rs tending to her through her argument that she needed to get up and help me. D'rs wanted Dani to stay with her but I insisted that she be in my rooms, finally being so bold as to demand it as my right as future Lady of the estate.

Near the end of the second day, there was a light knock on my door and I rushed to open it. Dani was asleep, finally after having stood up too soon and been in quite a large amount of pain. I opened the door to see a sheepish looking Faith standing there with her heavy coat wrapped around her. Given that I blamed Faith for hurting Dani, I was not inclined to allow her in but Dani called from the bed, "Who is it? Should I get up?"

I didn't want her to get up and called that it was just Faith. I leaned forward and whispered to Faith that if she hurt Dani again she would pay. She just smiled as she breezed around me.

"Hey, Red."

"Hi, Faith. Do you need anything?" Even bedridden, Dani wanted to take care of whatever Faith needed.

Faith shook her head with a smirk on her face and then opened her jacket revealing a small black puppy. Dani screamed in joy as Faith set it on the bed where it very promptly relieved itself. Dani didn't care, hugging the puppy and then Faith. Of course a moment later she saw the stain and hobbled about the room to clean it up. Faith quickly grabbed the bowl and rag from her and pushed her back onto the bed. "For Creator's sake, Dani. Sit and hug your puppy and let me do this."

"Mine? Really?" I don't know when I'd ever seen Dani so excited. I mean we were happy together so much of the time but this was…I felt jealous, left out. How did Faith know that Dani wanted a puppy? Where did she get it? Did Dani love her better? She held the puppy up. "Miss Tara. Look. Faith gave me a puppy. I can keep her right? Can I keep her? Please?" She slid from the bed and hopped over to me, still holding the puppy and kneeled at my feet. Faith shot me a look as I stood there stupefied. It occurred to me that she had never done this in front of anyone before and I thought that D'elam was supposed to disabuse her of the idea that it was necessary. I felt simultaneously embarrassed and proud that my girl was demonstrating how devoted she was to me in front of someone else.

Before I could speak, Faith came over and grabbed me by my forearms. "Just a minute, Dani," she said. She knew that she couldn't release my servant from her position but she could try to give her some comfort. My sister half-dragged me across the room. Once there she whispered to me. "Miss Tara Maclay. If you say no to her, you will break her heart." She glanced at the redhead still kneeling and petting the puppy. "And if you hurt her Anne and I and Donnie won't speak to you for twelve moons." She squeezed my forearms hard. "You understand that?"

I pulled my arms away from her angrily and went over to Dani. I kneeled down in front of her and ran my fingertip along her jawline. "Of course you can keep her." I leaned closer and whispered. "I want to always give you what you want, my baby."

She leaned forward and hugged me thanking me before realizing that her faux pas. Then she pulled away and hobbled over to thank Faith for the puppy. Faith gave her a hug and then said that Dani should get back into bed and she needed to be going. As she left she called out to me to remember what we had talked about it.

It seemed that my Dani had found a champion.

Not that she needed it much. I was sincere in my wish to make my girl happy. I was forever telling her stories, bringing her treats from the kitchen, giving her flowers or writing songs for her. I felt there was nothing I wouldn't do for her.

Not long after Faith gave Dani the puppy-Zhorro she had named her- Melanie informed us that it was time to start our magical lessons. Donnie was excused because his role in passing on the heritage was pretty much impossible to study for. In fact, it seemed that my father suddenly started taking Donnie for long walks in the woods. I assumed they were discussing something only Donnie needed to know, which of course, turned out to be true.

Melanie had waited until the twins had eight summers, feeling that before that was too early and not wanting to instruct me separately. Even though I would be only active magic user, it was still important for Faith and Anne to understand how to teach magic to their daughters, just as Melanie had learned from her mother although only my mother could perform magic.

When I asked if Dani could come, Melanie took it under advisement. She called me to her rooms the day before our lessons were to start. She told me that she and my father had decided that Dani would be allowed to attend the lessons. They felt that with Dani's memory – so they were aware of her mind – she could help me if I needed assistance in remembering what I had been taught. Faith and Anne had recently acquired the girls who would eventually become their mark-bonded servants and the girls were in training with D'elam but they were not to be invited to the lessons. I saw that as another proof of how special my Dani was.

So, my tenth summer I began my magical training with my aunt. We met every other day but skipped the rest-day. Our lessons usually took place in the clearing behind the manor which made Faith and Dani deliriously happy. Faith had said many times that even the most boring subject was palatable when she could hear the birds singing. Melanie teased her that she didn't know if she was raising a gentlewoman or a gamekeeper and Faith teased back that she knew which she would choose. Anne, on the other hand, had no doubt which she wanted to be. She was simply the most gentle, future gentlewoman I have ever seen. She would rather sit and do handiwork than play or ride and certainly anything getting dirty.

The magical lessons were, in a word, exhausting. They surpassed any subject I had encountered in my five years of serious study. There was no studying for them. I was to learn, to absorb the material and then enact it. Melanie could not demonstrate the magic for me although once a week or more T'solde traveled over to help in my instruction. T'solde, of course, could perform magic and it gave me a great appreciation in the difference I could feel when they cast a spell. From Melanie, I felt a sort of frustrated energy emitting from her but from T'solde, it was as if someone had opened a flood-gate. Each time I experienced her casting, I felt that her power was rushing through me. I asked Faith once if she felt that and Faith just shook her head. Apparently it was something you required my magic for. When we started, I could not do such a simple spell as lifting a feather.

But I worked hard. Over and over T'solde and Melanie drilled into me that these studies were as important to me as my others put together. By the time I had thirteen summers, I could float feathers and much more. Twice that year, I lifted Hope and Dream and held them for 6 heartbeats. I brought rain to the valley below our house once and had started being able to light candles and fires with no verbal incantation. The others were learning right along with me and were expected to attempt each spell regardless of the certain knowledge that they would never produce a single bit of magic. I felt sorry for my sisters that luck of birth order ensured my superiority but that feeling never lasted long when I looked at Dani. The thought of Faith or the very droll Anne with Dani was just…no.

One day a few years into my magical training Dani had to miss our lessons because she was studying with D'rs. One of my father's brother's wife's brother was being married and we would all be traveling to the wedding. I would be expected to perform only a small spell with T'solde's help. But all the servants were eagerly preparing for our journey to begin just two days hence.

I was exhausted at the end of the lesson and waved off Faith's encouragement to take a long ride with her. Rather, I decided to go back to my rooms for a rest. I knew that Dani would wake me just in time for dinner. I opened the door very quietly because I was so tired and let myself into my outer chamber where I slipped off my shoes. I stepped into the bedroom and stopped dead-still in the doorway.

We had been attending our magical lessons for a little over three years at this point. But…What I was seeing couldn't possibly be true.

Yet it was.

Dani sat on her mat on the floor. In front of her, floating in the air were: the dog's ball, two barrettes, a hair brush, a pencil, a candle (which kept lighting and unlighting itself), and my pillow. She was humming softly to herself a melody which was obviously keeping the items afloat. I stood there with my mouth dropping more and more open. She was doing it over and over. Without putting anything down she stood up and began to turn in a circle. On her first turn, her eyes were down on the floor so she did an entire turn and a half before she saw me standing in the doorway.

Immediately everything fell to the floor including Dani who dropped to her knees.

"Dani?" She didn't answer so I repeated her name. After a few seconds, I crossed the floor and tapped her lightly on her shaking shoulder. Realizing that she wasn't going to just jump up and talk to me I dropped onto the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of her. "Dani." I touched her chin and she looked at me. "I'm not upset with you." She let out the breath she was holding. "H-h-how long have you…" I waved my hands at all the things scattered around the floor.

"I didn't mean it," she protested.

"Dani. It's ok." I took her hands before she could jump up. "I just don't understand. I mean…You're doing magic."

"Please don't tell anyone," she pleaded.

"I'm not going to tell." I leaned forward and kissed her cheek. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it but I wanted to reassure her and it was the first thought that came into my head. She smiled at me and I had to concentrate to keep from feeling like I was going to fall over. "You know this shouldn't be possible right?"

She nodded.

"Do you know what this means?" When she didn't answer I summed up what we knew about magic. "Dani, your mother and father were both from magic families. They're probably noble." I felt completely excited at the discovery but Dani was very pragmatic.

"Miss Tara. My mother is a mark-bonded servant of this house. I am a servant of this house. We are not noble." Her tone brooked no disagreement from me.

I shook my head still trying to comprehend what I had seen. "How long have you been able to…"

She blushed. Actually blushed. I had never seen it before and it was adorable enough that I thought I would lose my train of thought about the magic. "From your first lesson, Miss Tara."

"But…in the lessons. You don't perform magic."

"I-I-I know. I um stop it? So you all won't see?" I continued looking at her and she continued. We had moved to sit on the edge of my bed by now and she had replaced the pillow and was absently straightening the bed covers. "I didn't know but then when you learned that feather floating? I did the incantation and it started to rise. So I reversed the incantation. You know, so it wouldn't?"

I had never tried to not do magic. "How-how did you know to reverse it?"

Dani pursed her lips. "I-I don't know. I just did."

I nodded. "Did you speak to D'Shel?"

Dani looked away and I had to touch her chin with my fingertips. "D'Shel said that I was being absurd and to forget all about it." She smiled at me. "But she was smiling when I told her."

For a short time we just sat there smiling at each other. I had known that Dani was special. One of a kind. My perfect compliment. I leaned forward whispering in her ear. "You are perfect. Do you know that?"

Dani looked at me for a moment. Then she cast her eyes down shyly and whispered back. "No, Miss Tara, you are perfect."

I felt as if someone had lit a thousand candles in my heart. I convinced her to nap with me in the bed and although she seemed tense at first, she quickly dropped to sleep in my arms. The room had grown darker when she woke me and told me that we needed to go to dinner.

Dani helped me dress and set my hair. Before we left the room, I took her hands in mine-so perfectly did they fit. "This will be our secret?"

"Yes, Miss Tara. If you please?"

And it was our secret. Something to keep between ourselves. Our magical education continued in the same fashion with the two of us taking instruction with Faith and Anne from Melanie and T'solde. My power and precision grew with each lesson as did Dani's-a fact only the two of us knew.

Part 4
The Gathering

The family wedding was the most visible and elegant event we children had ever attended and the farthest we would be traveling. The journey was a day and a half on horseback. Along the way we would join up with various aunts, uncles, cousins, and all the requisite servants and workers accompanying them so that by the time we reached the celebration, we would be over one hundred and fifty strong. From my father's estate alone, we brought thirty-one souls.

The day of departure dawned clear and warm but not too warm. When I awoke, Dani was already gone from my rooms – our rooms I thought of them. I dressed myself in traveling clothes which she had laid out for me and went to the dining room where I found my siblings, similarly attired, enjoying a quick meal. Just as we finished, D'elam came to tell us that it was time to go. Zhorro was staying at the house with the remaining house staff who had promised to spoil her with meats so much that she would not recognize Dani when we returned. We each bent down to pat her head and allow her to lick our faces.

Melanie's voice rang through the dining chamber. "Where are the children?" We all looked around and then took Faith's cue, dashing from the room and through the kitchen out into the courtyard. We emerged to spot a bustling yard of activity. Servants were putting the last items into wagons and tying on saddle bags. I spotted Dani tying a bag onto Hope and was about to call to her but my voice seemed to catch in my throat. She wore an outfit I had never seen before: brown leather pants, new riding boots, and a soft-looking white shirt. Her hair was pulled back from her face with a thin strap of blue-dyed leather, the contrast between it and her red hair making quite a statement. She was, in a word, breathtaking. I thought my heart, twelve summers young that it was, would stop in that instant. I stood there for what felt like the longest time but I'm sure it was only a second or two before Faith punched me in the arm and ran off toward her waiting horse.

Startled from my reverie I made my way over to Dani who had glanced up and smiled. "Your horse, Miss?"

I stood there for minute not knowing what to say and feeling my cheeks burning. "I missed you this morning," I finally choked out.

Dani's cheeks turned red too. "I-I was tending the…" She waved her hand around the courtyard. She extended her hand to help me onto my horse. As I took it and moved my foot toward the stirrup, I heard her whisper. "I missed you as well, Miss."

Once the assemblage was seated, my father moved to the head of the column and moved out, everyone else following. Because the journey was to be so long, a somewhat informal processional would be used. While mark-bound servants would of course be required to observe proper riding etiquette, the boundaries of position and movement within the column would be more relaxed than usual. We children, including Dani, were allowed a very informal version of riding etiquette. This gave us great latitude to move up and back through the ride and visit with each other and assorted adults in the group.

The taking of Donnie's marks was scheduled four months hence with the celebration a moon later and we all teased him rather mercilessly about his requirements the next time we made an expedition like this one. He spent a great deal of the journey riding at father's side and I spent quite a bit of time at Melanie's side and later T'solde's. Our parents and the other adults in our party let us know that a journey was no excuse for a break from our studies. And it seemed to me that they had taken it upon themselves to teach us more intensely than our normal tutors did. By noon I felt that my head was full and couldn't hold any more.

Dani seemed to glow under the load. She stayed near me most of the time but also went over to hear what Faith and Anne were learning and occasionally seemed to sneak off to confer with Donnie. Of course, she was always there the moment I wanted her. Shortly after our lunch break I rode next to Melanie. It was one of the few minutes when she was not drilling me on my magical studies and I was relaxing. My eyes wandered to Dani. "I didn't know Dani would have new clothes for our journey."

Melanie looked at me for a long moment. "Every member of this household reflects upon our estate, your father's Lordship, and your eventual Ladyship. Not the least of that reflection is your own servant. The way this estate treats, educates, and outfits our members and the way those members act can bring us shame or pride." She must have seen the stricken look on my face because she added, "I see nothing about Dani that should ever but bring our estate and you personally the greatest pride. She is to be dressed and treated so to make her the envy of every servant and free man or woman she encounters and to make you the envy of every noble woman."

I nodded my head. I had never really thought about Dani's position relative to those not in our family. When I thought about her role, it was generally limited to understanding that she was devoted to me as I was to her and that she would never leave me. It was only now that I was starting to understand how highly respected she would be, must be, outside our family. Paradoxically while she was mine to command, committed solely to me (or would be once we had taken our marks a few years hence), a part of her - her reputation and image - belonged to the entire estate. "Yes, Miss Melanie," I answered after a few moments. "Thank you." I dropped back toward the middle of the column and Dani joined me within minutes.

"Are you having a good journey, Miss?"

I smiled at her and batted my eyelashes quite flirtatiously. "It could only be better if you were in my arms." She didn't answer verbally but instantly moved her horse close enough to mine to slide across and sit in front of me. She looped Hope's reins loosely around the pommel and leaned forward to whisper to Dream. Then she sat back into my arms, letting her body relax against mine. I didn't know how long she had been awake that morning packing but I could feel the exhaustion in her body. I leaned forward and nuzzled her warm neck .She smelled of sweat and work and new leather and sweetness and I gently pressed a kiss against the silky fuzz of her skin. "You are welcome to sleep for a while, my girl."

She seemed to consider protesting for a minute but reconsidered. "You'll wake me if you need anything, Miss?"

"I promise." She made me reiterate my promise and then promptly became limp in my arms. We rode like that for a few hours until the caravan stopped for dinner. Her small body rested against mine, taking all reasonably coherent thought from my mind. I could hear her faint breath, feel and see her pulse beat in her neck and it was all I could do to keep from planting kiss after kiss on that softly pulsing vein. Only my wish to not wake her when she obviously needed the rest kept me from it. Even so, I leaned forward over and over, nuzzling into her skin, kissing her neck or the spot behind her ear, whispering my devotion to her. My lessons were apparently over for the afternoon because neither Melanie nor T'Solde approached me. Or perhaps they realized how badly Dani needed the rest.

The moment I halted Dream, Dani was awake and active. She dismounted and as she reached the ground bowed slightly. "Thank you, Miss, for allowing me that rest." I put my hand in hers and swung from the saddle a little stiffly.

I placed my reins into her hand and brushed my fingertips along her hand. "I enjoyed it just as much as you," I assured her.

She blushed slightly and then led our horses over to the stablemen. She returned after a few minutes to our spot. One of the servants had spread a blanket on the ground and Faith, Annie, Donnie, and I had already taken our seats. I passed Dani her plate, already piled high with meats, cheese, and fruit and a decanter of wine and she thanked me as well as the others. "I wonder what it will be like," Faith mused.

Anne was, as usual, in a fantasy world. "Beautiful dresses and flowers. Everyone dancing to each song from the band." Realizing that we were all laughing at her she poked Faith and I. "Maybe we'll meet our future husbands there."

Faith made a snorting noise through her nose. "Oh yeah. That would be just great." She looked at us all with the usual mischief on her face. "Maybe Donnie here wants to meet his wife. After all he can't really have any fun until he contributes legitimate a magic user to the family."

We all laughed somewhat uncomfortably. Being raised on an estate, we knew all about "where babies come from." We'd seen horses, cows, dogs, and every other conceivable animal mating for as long as we'd walked into the dooryard. But that didn't mean that we were comfortable thinking about Donnie doing that. Although he was over 14 summers old, I still thought of him as my big little brother. The fact that he would soon be taking his marks, fourth level marks, meant that his opportunities would be nearly unlimited and he would have to exercise no small amount of self-restraint. If he were to later marry into a magic family, a near certainty with our pedigree, and produce a non- active magic using daughter, it would bring disgrace to the Maclay family name. We children had heard tales of families shamed by a son's behavior, setting out to find the child who had "stolen" their magic as they saw it. Reports of what those families did if they found the child were…gruesome.

Always one to return any conversation to dancing, Anne continued her fantasies. "I have four ball gowns, one for each night and hope to dance with every noble man at this event."

"That's my fantasy too," Faith said drolly.

We were laughing but became serious when father approached the blanket. Dani jumped up and bowed while the rest of us just said "Hello, Father."

He took a seat and invited Dani to sit back down, in fact playfully tackling her into his lap. "We have decided that we covered enough ground today and are going to break here for the night." He turned to Donnie. "How does that sound to you, son?"

I respected this approach. While father and his brothers had already made the decision, they wanted to give the impression that Donnie was being consulted. I had noticed father doing this more and more with Donnie and even with me in the last year or so. It seemed that those lessons we had taken throughout the day were not completed yet. Donnie stood and with a very adult air asked father to step off with him so that they could discuss it. I knew that he wouldn't have any objections but I'm sure that he wanted to understand the reasons for the decision.

Dani hastily stood up and took our plates. "I should go prepare your tent, Miss Tara."

I sat and watched her movement across the grass. I had never really seen her interact with the other servants and I saw how they all greeted her. They were friendly and respectful in their interactions with her and I noted how she knew every person, enjoying the opportunity to visit with him or her as she passed or performed her duties. When I took my marks and then she did, she would become the ranking servant, excepting D'rs and D'rek, father's man, of the estate. She would be required to know everything there was to know about running our household and it seemed that she was well on the way.

One thing for which I was grateful: we would be sharing a small tent tonight. Unless she was going to be so foolish as to insist on sleeping outside, we would be in close quarters and I was sure to get to hold her all night long. Faith was telling us a long story, which turned out to be an elaborate pun, about the day she tracked a large cat for hours when Dani returned. She waited off the blanket and then excused herself. "Miss Tara, I have your tent and bath ready if you would like to come."

"Thank you, Dani." We all stood up and stepped from the blanket which Dani bent and began to fold before I could even think of it.

"Hey, Red. I'm going sleep under the stars. Care to join me?"

Dani looked from Faith to me and then shook her head. "Thank you, Miss Faith. I will stay with Miss Tara."

Faith shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Anne looked at her sister. "Mother brought a very nice tent and she wants to sleep on the ground like an animal. I have no understanding of this creature." We all laughed and teased Faith about being a creature.

We reached our tent and Dani dropped to her knees and began to unlace my riding boots before pulling back the flap. I stepped inside and then dropped down, waiting for her to remove her boots.

"W-w-would you rather sleep outside?" I asked nervously.

Dani shook her head. "My place is with you, Miss Tara." She grasped the hem of my shift. "Now let's get you washed and ready for bed."

As she began to undress me I leaned forward, whispering in her ear. "I can make it worth your while to sleep in the tent."

Dani dropped to her knees again as she peeled my riding britches down my legs. She looked up at me with a smile. "How is that, Miss Tara?"

I ran my fingertip along her forehead, brushing her bangs away from her eyes. "I've been working on my tickling techniques."

Dani reached for the sponge and warm water and began to softly wash me. "Oh, is that so, Miss Tara?" The water was the perfect temperature and I relaxed as she slowly wet my skin before soaping up the sponge. Dani worked methodically but softly to wash and rinse me, drying each section of my body as she completed it. When she had finished my upper body, she pulled my nightgown over my head and arms but tied it up so that she could wash my legs and feet. When she finished she brushed my hair out thoroughly and placed the softest kiss on my shoulder. "All done, Miss Tara." She patted the blankets.

I smiled at her and took the sponge from her hand. "Let me." She blushed and looked away. I don't know if everyone felt this way but I always felt that any little act I could do to return her kindness was one I wanted to take. I washed her, using the same slow and soft technique she had employed and in a few minutes we were done. She went to dump out the dirty water and returned to find me in the sleeping blankets she had laid out earlier. I patted the spot next to me and she blushed again, a habit I was starting to find adorably irresistible. Then she lay down on her stomach and I began to run my fingertips very lightly over her back and neck as she giggled and squirmed. When she could take no more, we traded and she used the same technique on me. Eventually we giggled so much that someone walking by the tent cleared their throat loudly at us and we pushed our mouths into our pillows as we laughed even harder. Then we moved onto our sides and snuggled together all night.

She was gone from the tent when I woke up. I had just changed into my riding britches and was reaching my hand outside the tent for my boots when she placed them into my searching hand. "Thank you, Dani."

She bowed with a smile. "You're welcome, Miss Tara." I noticed that she had polished both our boots and brushed our britches so that we looked quite fine to begin the second and final day of our journey. She handed me a small plate with bread and fruit and a cup and told me that we were moving out very soon and that she had just been coming back to wake me.

"Thank you. Have you eaten?"

She assured me that she had and pointed out a blanket on the ground on which I could eat while she packed up the tent. By the time I had finished the meal, she had our horses loaded and ready to go. She helped me up into the saddle and then took her place beside me. I wanted to tell her how much I appreciated her help. How invaluable she was to me. But all I could think to say was, "Thank you for spending the night with me.

She tilted her head and me and was about to speak but Faith rode up at that moment. "Uncle is taking a hunting party. Do you want to go?"

Dani and I decided to go and ended up joining a rather large group which included Donnie, Faith, we two, and seven others. Father did not come but he sent Derek with the group. We had quite an enjoyable morning with each person bringing back at least two quail or pheasant. Dani had done particularly well, bringing home five birds. Her skill at hunting was very interesting to watch. On one hand, she wasn't as strong as we other children. But she had an uncanny ability to aim. It was as if she had a hidden abacus performing calculations on distance, trajectory, wind resistance, and twenty other factors in pulling back and releasing the bow string.

We rejoined the party just before high sun and the group stopped. Immediately the servants set to preparing the birds for our mid-day meal and the rest of us began to change our clothes. While our riding clothes were appropriate for our journey, we would be arriving in less than an hour and it was our responsibility to make the strongest possible impression. Dani helped me into my presentation outfit, washed my face and hands, set my hair, got herself ready, and eventually helped to get Anne ready since D'elam had Melanie, Anne, and Faith all to manage. We ate carefully with cloths across our clothes to keep them from becoming soiled.

I found myself hardly able to eat for looking at Donnie's presentation. He wore the full colors of our house including a sword by his side and looked absolutely dashing and grown-up. I still thought of him as a child, like myself, but he was soon to be an adult with many responsibilities and rights. Of course, his education would not end at that time. I predicted it would simply intensify.

When we reformed, our assemblage looked very different from the one we had been just hours earlier. Organizing our presentation took a while as the three estates worked to form the correct hierarchy. I don't know that I could reproduce it even now. Suffice it to say that at the heads of the three columns were my father, my aunt T'solde and her husband-Lord Martin-and my cousin who was Lord of the third estate. Each of their mark-bonded servants rode a ½ length back from them. Melanie and therefore D'elam were directly behind my father and Donnie and myself were directly behind her with Faith and Anne behind us. Because neither Dani nor Donnie's future servant were bonded yet, it was determined that they would ride with Faith and Anne. While some saw this as a strange presentation, Dani's presence was seen as a mark of prestige for the family; having a servant who had been with her mistress since birth was something that only the very best and very richest of families could boast. Given Dani's position in the column, there was no way to exclude Donnie's man from the same hierarchal level.

So great was our family's pride in Dani that her gown very nearly matched mine. Where mine was covered with jewels, hers matched it in embroidery. In every other way it mirrored mine and I found myself staring at her until she moved behind me. From then on, my mind was filled, quite happily, with images of her thus attired. The thought briefly passed through my mind that I wondered if all ladies felt thus about their future bonded servants.

We arrived at our destination shortly after high-noon. The greeting from our hosts was appropriate in every respect. Once the Lord and Lady of the manor had greeted the heads of our columns, their servants helped us from our horses and led the horses away to be cared for. Of course, some of our servants went with to assist while others went toward the kitchen with our feast gifts and to help in preparing the meals. Dani was helped from her horse shortly after myself and we found ourselves standing very close together as formal greetings and introductions were made. I softly touched the back of her hand and whispered out of the side of my mouth. "You look absolutely beautiful, my girl."

"No where near as beautiful as you, Miss Tara," I heard her quiet reply. I glanced over and noted the pink of her cheeks, not sure whether it was the ride or something else causing it but sure of how it accented her eye color.

Finally it was my turn to be introduced and I felt Melanie's watchful eye on me but I managed each meeting appropriately and even avoided stuttering. Donnie did similarly well and each of us presented our future bound servants before the procession moved on to T'solde's children. Once the lengthy introductions were completed, we were led to our rooms.

Dani set to work immediately hanging my gowns and making us at home. My room was tasteful and ornate, befitting my position but reasonably far from the main halls to afford some privacy. Faith and Anne were a few doors down the hall with Donnie on the opposite side. I watched Dani as she unpacked our traveling wardrobe and considered asking if she wanted help but she would have taken it as an insult had I done so. Instead I had to content myself with writing in my journal and sneaking peeks at her as she bustled around the room. I began teasing her by playfully putting out my hand to grab at her as she passed close by and she joined in by making a game of it-seeing how closely she could come without being touched by my wandering fingers. She verily danced about the room, swerving this way and that to avoid my touch all the while making me crazy for the feel of her. A few times I actually got my grasp around her hip and pulled her into my lap where I tickled and kissed her as she laughed. I don't know if she let me catch her those times but she teased me terribly. "I will have to watch myself, Miss Tara, if this is how you wish to molest me."

I giggled at her words. "Oh Dani, I would never wish to impose my will or touch on you when you don't desire it."

She kissed the tip of my nose then she jumped up to continue her chores. That afternoon, seemed to be one of those times that I found myself unable to take my eyes from my girl. She glowed with every bit of excitement of the journey and her work. She looked amazing back in all her traveling clothes and every word she spoke seemed to be lifted by a thousand butterflies directly to my ears. A few times, I found myself in a bit of a daze as she repeated my name over and over again. Snapping out of it, I managed a weak joke each time.

The wedding itself was…elaborate and amazing. I had never seen so many members of the nobility together before. Each seemed to be waited on by servants who anticipated their every request before it was possible to voice it. The food served at every banquet was incomparable with the finest meats, rich sauces, fresh vegetables, and deserts of chocolate and cream. If I hadn't stopped her, I fear Dani would have never slept for trying and loving a hot drink named kaffee. I believe that Anne's wish to take a turn with every nobleman at the wedding was fulfilled thrice over and all of us made my father's Lordship proud with our dancing. We laughed playfully at Dani when Melanie came over to kindly request she refrain from singing.

My magic demonstration was, according to T'solde, exceedingly passable which I had learned to accept as high praise indeed.

During the days we were left much to our own devices and with countless cousins, we hunted and rode throughout the valley. Dani partook in every activity I choose from dancing to riding and I started to notice a pattern I had never noted before. Each time Dani was parted from me, to talk to Faith or Donnie, or retrieve a bird or for whatever reason, someone would ride up next to me or sidle up to me and begin a casual conversation. Very quickly he or she would turn the conversation toward Dani telling me that she was a very beautiful girl, that she had good bearing or presence, seemed attentive or any of a series of compliments on my girl. I was made to feel as if I had made a fine choice in selecting and training such a companion, and more so, that many others would like such a servant. I don't think that Dani had any idea that such conversations were going on or she would have been embarrassed to have been the topic of such discussion.

At night, we attended grand banquets and balls. This gathering was the first event we had been to with such a vast mix of families and individuals. As the evenings progressed, the adults seemed emboldened by wine and ale. We children faded into the chairs and windowsills surrounding the large room to watch their curious rituals. It seemed as if this event was an opportunity and pairs of dancers made their way from the room throughout the evening. At first it seemed only the most beautiful, most eligible, most charming of the noblemen had partners but eventually we children were left in an empty or nearly empty room attempting to comprehend everything we had seen with our adolescent minds and immature sensibilities.

"She never says no. She can't." We were breaking for dinner of our journey and Anne held court with the five of us, explaining some of what she had learned at the wedding.

"What do you mean she can't? Like she'll get in trouble?" I asked.

Donnie harrumphed. "She'll get in trouble? Did you see the size of the men compared to the women? I doubt he'd take no for an answer."

Faith reached across the blanket to hit Donnie on the arm. Hard. "You idiot. 'Doubt he'll take no for answer'? What you're talking about doesn't happen. It can't."

"Because he'd be punished?" Donnie suggested.

Anne looked disgusted with all of us for a moment. "Why am I the only one who ever pays attention about these things?" Dani didn't look up to argue the point of whether Anne was the only child who paid attention. Anne blew out a breath. "He can't force a woman because of the mark-binding."

I finally joined the conversation. "What do you mean, Anne? We saw plenty of couples leaving the banquets and balls."

Anne shook her head. "You are all such children." She looked completely disgusted with our innocence which I found ironic given that she was a year and a half younger than I and 3 years younger than Donnie. "The mark-bond carries magic in it. We all know that." She looked at all of us expectantly and we finally obediently nodded our heads. Of course we knew that.

"Well one piece of magic in the mark-bond is the power of mark- rights. Any man with higher or equal marks to a bound woman can share mark-rights with that woman."

"No way," I disagreed.

Anne nodded her head. "Why do you think that a woman's marks are where they are? On her right hip. Have you ever taken a look at them? They are placed as if the man is holding her with his marks. Look at the finger marks on D'elam's hip sometime."

Dani showed her naivety. "But that means that Lord Maclay could have…I don't believe that."

Donnie came to father's defense. "It doesn't mean that he has. It only means that he can."

We were all silent for a moment. "So she can't say no?" I wanted to know.

Anne looked around the circle again. "She wouldn't want to. I mean…The magic of the rites means that if he wants to she will."

Faith seemed completely disgusted and Dani hadn't said a word since the discussion had begun. "So she'll just go along…?"

"I'm sure it would be ok for her," Donnie attempted to assure his sister.

Anne looked like she was about to scream-quietly and in a very ladylike manner of course. "Sometimes I can't believe I'm related to you all. She will like it. She will love it. She will get as much pleasure from it as he will. That's the magic of the mark!"

It all still seemed very unbelievable to me. "So you're saying that once Donnie gets his marks he and D'elam could…" Donnie paled and I decided to tease further. "And that it would be pleasurable for both of them? And she'd have no choice even though she changed his dirty diapers as a baby." I reached over and poked him in the stomach.

"If you'll all excuse me," Dani said quietly as she stood up, gathered our dishes, and walked away.

"Thanks for bringing that up, Anne." I knew I had a sneer in my voice but I didn't really care. I got up and followed Dani to see if she was ok. The truth is that I didn't really think of Dani as a servant, as someone who would follow mark-bound magic. She was just…my Dani. And even though I wanted to blame Anne for talking about it, I knew I should have been more considerate of my precious girl.

Throughout the rest of the journey Dani seemed to be in a sour mood. Oh, she carried out her responsibilities and was respectful and helpful but she wasn't as playful as she had been before. She seemed too much in her head too much of the time. I attempted to get her to talk to me but she insisted she was fine, even going so far as saying that she was "Finey McFine" which made me laugh if not her. Even our arrival home to be greeted by Zhorro who jumped up and muddied Dani's pants, not that she cared in the least, didn't seem to lift my girl's spirits.

I tried everything I knew to lift her mood, bringing her gifts of flowers and treats for herself and Zhorro. I coaxed her to sleep in my bed and held her tightly while whispering sweet nothings to her. Finally, I went to Melanie to ask if she had any ideas. I explained about the conversation we had all had on our return and saw a flash of something cross my aunt's face. Then she assured me that D'elam would speak to Dani. A few days later it did seem that Dani was in a brighter mood and we rode and sang and joked as usual. By the end of the moon, I had quite forgotten her sadness and the castle began to prepare for Donnie's mark celebration.

I waited until I had 17 summers behind me before taking my marks. I could have taken them earlier, much earlier for I had started bleeding more than three summers previous, but I wanted to wait. My waiting, while unusual, was my choice. Occasionally a family would decide to postpone the taking of marks for timing or maturity but in this case the delay was entirely up to me. My father never approached me about the marks although Melanie did.

She came to my rooms a few months after I had become eligible. Dani offered Melanie tea which Melanie politely refused, then Dani bowed to her and left, carrying with her a few plates and cups from a snack we had been enjoying as we studied. She bid me to stay seated and pulled up a chair on her own.

"Miss Tara." She reached out and took my hand, gently stroking the back. "Your father, Lord Maclay, wishes to know when you will receive your marks."

I looked away for a moment. "I do not feel ready, Miss Melanie."

She nodded her head slightly. "Your education has progressed very well and very quickly. I hope you know how pleased your father and I are with your studies." She said this like a question, her voice rising on the last syllable.

"Yes, Miss." I smiled at her.

"And you know also that T'solde feels that your magical power is, if anything, higher than expected. Your focus and purity are excellent and your artistry training is an unexpected value."

I took a breath. "Yes, Miss Melanie. But I don't feel that this is the right time."

She looked like she was considering whether to speak or not. "If you are worried about Dani, D'elam tells me that she is not ready for her marks yet. She can follow when she becomes ready."

My words seemed to catch in my throat but I swallowed audibly. "No, Miss Melanie, she is not." I was no expert on such things but I wondered if her slimmer figure meant that her bleeding would not come so young as mine. While I had noticed the changes in my body, hers had not started these changes yet.

Again Melanie took my hand. "Dani is a wonderful and devoted girl. You will both bring pride to your family when you take your marks." When I didn't answer she let go of my hand and sat back in her chair. "I will tell Lord Maclay your decision. " We said goodbye and she left my rooms.

Dani was back a few minutes later with a bowl of water to wash my hair. I sat in the chair and she put the water on the table and began to work the lather in. "She came about your marks, Miss Tara?" I believe that only our closeness allowed her to ask such a question.

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "I am not ready to take my marks, my girl."

"Yes, Miss Tara." We were silent for the rest of the hair wash and as she combed and set my hair.

As had now become tradition, when she had finished her work on my hair, she took my seat and allowed me to wash and brush her hair as she had done mine. The water was less warm than it had been for her but I craved the opportunity to do this for her. I loved the feel of her hair against my fingers, to let the strands just fall through the spaces. I brushed her hair for an extra long time and then bid her to sleep in my bed tonight. As usual, she insisted that it was not her place and I that her place was at my side. It had become a traditional and playful argument between us: where she would sleep. More often than not I prevailed and I hoped that in those cases, her actual intent was to sleep in my arms just as it was always my wish. I knew that she was bound by her position to lobby for her meager mattress but I was bound by my love for her to dissuade her. That night I held her especially fiercely. Just the thought of Dani taking those marks was enough to fill my eyes with tears for her tender skin.

Not long after Donnie and his servant took their marks, I had been attending a magical lesson with Melanie. Faith and Anne were free from this lesson because they were attending a gown fitting for the upcoming celebration and Donnie and his man rode by, waving a greeting. I watched them and then turned to Melanie commenting that the marks seemed very well done and powerful.

At first her reaction had been that the marks were indeed well done. Then she narrowed her eyes slightly and asked me what I meant by powerful. I explained the impression I had of the static current between the marks and then described similar connections between herself and D'elam, father and D'rek, and others at the wedding. Apparently this was a great discovery for she quickly called D'elam over and they whispered for a few moments. We continued with our lesson and within the afternoon, T'solde galloped up on her horse.

As it turned out, my ability to feel the connection between marks was an indicator of an ability to create them. We already knew that I had a fondness for art as it was the activity I used to fill much of my free time when I did not have studies or other responsibilities. However, no one had expected me to have this unusual potential. T'solde gave me a few quick tests before declaring that we would have to take a journey to the marks-artist. Everyone cluck-clucked that it was too bad we hadn't realized this earlier since the marks-artist had just been to the estate fifteen days earlier to create and bind D'le's (Donnie's servant's) marks.

Nonetheless, a message was sent to Miss T'dre the artist who had bound Donnie and his man as well as most of the other nobles we knew. She responded immediately that she would be out to visit and examine me two days hence.

The next two days were spent verily scrubbing myself inside and out. T'solde stayed at our estate and she and Melanie drilled me on magical theory every waking minute while Dani and D'elam prepared my wardrobe, skin, and hair for the visit. At night I fell into bed without even the energy to cajole my lovely girl in with me. She must have known how overwhelmed I was and taken pity on me for each morning although I woke alone, I could feel her heat still on the sheets just next to me.

T'dre arrived at mid-day and was welcomed into the castle by father himself. She accepted the formal greetings and then requested that she and I walk by ourselves. The walk seemed almost like a dream. We visited the gardens and stables and much of the grounds as she asked me questions about myself, my family, my horse, my intended servant, and my interests. I performed magic both by myself and jointly with her and stopped to draw pictures in the sand or on a small roll of paper she pulled from her pocket. By the time we had finished, I looked up to notice that it was growing dark about.

"My girl will be worried about me."

T'dre looked at me. "It is lovely to have someone who cares about you so much. Please tell me about her."

And so for a long hour or more, I went on about Dani's beauty, her intelligence, her laugh, everything I loved so about her. When I finished we had arrived at the castle to find the lamps burning brightly and the table set but the house waiting dinner on us. We sat down and shared our banquet in relative silence. When she had finished eating, T'dre simply said that she would train me. She made no promises but allowed that my potential was strong. My father, Melanie, and T'solde all looked very pleased when they embraced me and Faith whispered that I was a "hot dog" whatever that meant.

And so I began an apprenticeship in mark artistry or just artistry. Faith teased me about my studies saying that she was also going to be a marks-woman if she had her way. It was a weak joke but she made her point.

For the first fourteen to eighteen moons of my apprenticeship, my entire study was academic. Tadre (for she quickly asked me to use her name rather than title) visited once a seven-day to deliver scrolls with marks symbols listed. I was expected to study and memorize the symbols and practice drawing them until I could reproduce them quite literally with my eyes shut with pen on scroll. Once I could reproduce them perfectly with my eyes shut, I would be required to draw the mark with my left hand and then with my left hand but my eyes shut. Each of these attempts was tested by Tadre and she was a strict but kind teacher. She would not allow any imperfection but she was very clear and gentle in explaining where my reproduction deviated from the sample she had provided. When she came to test me, she did not show me the scrolls but would say the nature of a binding or a family name and expect me to produce the correct mark.

Dani was, of course, invaluable in my studies. While her artistic ability was, shall we say, less than ideal, her memorization skills allowed her to quickly digest the information and test and retest me wherever we may be: whether in my rooms or out on a ride. Her quick mind allowed her to see thematic connections between similar symbols that were not immediately obvious to me. I once asked her how she learned them so quickly and she seemed almost embarrassed to explain that when she had seen something even once, she retained a sort of mental image forever.

I don't mean to make it seem that my education was put on hold for the sake of my artistry. If anything, my education intensified in all areas. I now studied or spoke Latin, Greek, French, and Slavic, memorized Astronomy and the movement of the stars and planets, Geometry, Oration, Agricultural planning, deportment, dancing, needlework, diplomacy, and, of course, magical application. While all of these subjects had varying intensity and difficulty, by far the most difficult was Geometry and later Trigonometry. But for Dani's repeated and painstaking instruction, I don't know that I ever would have been able to produce acceptable examinations in these subjects.

By the time I neared my fourteenth summer, Tadre allowed that my knowledge of marks and my ability to reproduce them were acceptable to accompany her and learn the actual application and binding of the marks. Not until I went with her, did I start to understand my chosen and gifted craft. Artistry is about knowing the correct symbols and being able to reproduce them as well as being able to create truly beautiful art but it is also about the strength and purity the artist puts into the mark. Every mark. Every mark requires a magical bond. Whether it is a mark declaring a noble man or woman to have achieved maturity, a free joining marriage bond, a servant bond, or the very rare freed-servant bond, the mark must have a very specific and delicate yet powerful piece of magic within it.

The first mark artistry I attended was the binding of a one mark servant to the second cousin of the Lord of a neighboring estate. The noble woman was fifth of seven daughters with no magic among her or her siblings and none in either parent's line. In other words, this mark would not be terribly elaborate. It would still contain the basic anchors to bind the servant and her mistress together but the design was fairly basic. After she had completed the noble woman's mark design, Tadre had brought me the scroll and asked me to dissect it for her, which I had done thoroughly and repeatedly. When asked, I could reproduce the design with my eyes closed and with either hand. Tadre asked me to explain in great detail about the anchors she had placed in the design. These spots were placed into the original marks of a noble man or woman. Later when his or her servant was bound or when the joining marks were created, the anchors would be used to "tie" the servant to the binding or the pair to each other.

I do not know if my initial reaction upon attending an artistry would have been different had I attended the noble woman's binding rather than her servant's first. Our marks, as I've explained before, are placed on our palms-right palm for a woman and left palm for a man. The joining marks are created on the backs of our hands even extending up the forearm if necessary. As you might imagine, in spite of the joy of the ceremony and the preparation we have undergone, the application of marks to one's hands-hands filled with bones and sensitive nerves is quite painful. The elaboration of a set of marks is notable and impressive not only because it indicates the wealth and prestige associated with a family, but because it is such an ordeal. Another reason that the elaboration of marks is impressive is that any noble family of worth will supply the artist and receiver with adequate healing and herbal medicine to make the taking of the marks palatable. Without the numbing herbs-usually an herb called Opiaum-I believe most people could not accept the marks on their hands.

No servant ever receives his or her marks simultaneous to his master so that he can care for the master (or mistress) throughout the recovery period. While the nobility's prestige is enhanced by the elaboration of his marks, it is also enhanced by realizing that any servant bonded to that person will have equal marks on his or her hip. This marking, on the hip, is done without the aid of a healer or herbs. Although the hip is a more forgiving surface to the hot vibrating needle, it is by no means a pleasant experience for the servant. Servants are respected for their ability to withstand the artistry in devotion to their mark-master. That first artistry I attended was shocking. The servant was very good at withstanding the pain and did not scream, but she did cry as her mistress held her.

So when Melanie came to me every four or six moons after the initial visit, I continued to delay the taking of my marks. I had no fear for myself, for my family had an excellent healer living on our estate. But I couldn't stand the thought of Dani hurt so badly. One of the first assignments Tadre had given me once I had finished my memorization was to design my own marks. It was a project she had returned to over and over ever since. I knew that the marks would be extensive and elaborate-more elaborate than any I had ever seen before nor that Tadre had created.

After each visit from Melanie, Dani would respectfully ask me about my marks and I responded each time by telling her that I was not ready. She did not question me further but I wondered if she had an inkling of why I was so reticent. When I had sixteen summers, this conversation altered. Dani began to urge me to take the marks, to trust that she would serve me well and make me proud. It was her voice but I could hear D'elam and thus Melanie's words passing through her mouth.

The following winter I received a visit from Faith. She no longer seemed my baby sister. With fifteen summers behind her she had been released from her academic studies after receiving adequate marks in all subjects. Her love remained the out of doors, gamesmanship, riding, hunting, and she now headed all hunting expeditions initiated by our estate. Our region was quite peaceful at this time but I occasionally heard murmurings of her fitness for military lead. Either position- gameswoman or military leader – was unusual for a noble woman but my family had great prestige and respect and my father was always very liberal in his thinking. Additionally, she was the third daughter in our family. Pressure was not so intense on her as on myself or Donnie or even Anne.

She came in one afternoon as I was working on my mark design for perhaps the thirtieth time based on feedback from Tadre. Dani was out on a long ride which I have to suspect Faith knew, given that she was Dani's most frequent riding partner besides myself. She knocked and at my invite came in taking a seat on the other side of the table. She waited until I had stopped drawing and replaced my quill in the holder before indicating the paper with her hand. "May I?" I nodded and she took the paper and studied it for a few minutes. "Those are going to be really something, T."

"I don't think that's the final product. Tadre will want to make some adjustments," I explained.

"Have you designed mine yet? Or Anne's?"

I reached into the drawer in my desk and pulled out two very similar scrolls and handed them to her. She looked them over and smiled. "I think I can live with my three marks. You've done a really fantastic job on these."

"Thank you, Faith." I looked at her for a long minute. "Is there a reason for your visit?"

She placed her hand over her heart in mock indignation and hurt. "What? I can't just visit my big sister to hear her witty repartee and see her unending beauty?"

"Seems unlikely."

Faith laughed. "See, witty repartee." I leaned back in my chair and folded my hands across my chest. "Ok. I'm not here for your witty repartee."

I feigned shock at the revelation, again earning a laugh from my sister.

"The estate awaits the taking of your marks, Miss T'ra." She spoke in a surprisingly formal fashion and I wondered whether it was Melanie or father who had sent her.

"I don't feel that I'm ready." I picked up my quill and pulled the scroll toward me as if dismissing her and ending the conversation.

Faith leaned forward and pulled my hand from the scroll and held it in her own. "Tara, there's never been a better prepared Lady. You'll bring all the respect and devotion and love to this family that you could. You know it." She tilted her head. "Are you afraid of the pain? Because the healer stands ready to apply the herbs." She waited a moment after which I did not answer. "Donnie says it didn't hurt that badly when he kept thinking of the honor of his marks and his are almost as elaborate as yours."

I stood and stepped a few steps from the desk. "I don't understand w-why no one will believe that I am not ready."

Faith allowed me to pace for a few seconds before she also stood and stepped directly in front of me. She reached up to tuck an errant strand of hair behind my ear and placed her hands on my shoulders. "Is it Dani?" I flinched, unaware and unsuspecting of her perceptivity. She took that as an admission. "Is…is it that you don't want her hurt?"

Tears sprung to my eyes. I slowly nodded as did Faith.

She stroked my cheek. "I understand." She swallowed audibly. "But people are starting to think that you doubt her. That you doubt her strength and devotion to you."

"Wh-what? That's…That's j-just ridiculous. Who thinks that? Who…"

She interrupted me to drive home the dagger. "She thinks it too, Miss Tara."

I reached backwards and found that I was standing by the bed onto which I collapsed. "She thinks? But I would never. I mean. She's…I mean. She's not afraid and I know she…" I leaned forward putting my face into my hands then looked back up. "She really thinks that?"

Faith kneeled down in front of me. "She doesn't know what to think. You're obviously ready and she believes she is too but you keep delaying."

"Father? Melanie?" I could feel my heart pounding. "Do they think that I doubt her? They know she's, that she's perfect? Right? Don't they?"

Faith stroked my hair for a few minutes as I tried to comprehend this misconception. This thought of weakness in my girl. "I can explain to father but everyone else…," she offered

I wiped my eyes and lifted my head. "I will speak to Lord Maclay at his earliest opportunity about the taking of my marks."

Faith nodded. Then she gently kissed each of my cheeks. "She'll be fine and we'll all spoil her crazy."

I gulped and nodded. "I know."

She glanced to my windowpane. "I should get out there for a ride before mother goes hunting down her 'wild child.'"

Before she left the room, I called after her. "Thank you for talking to me, Faith."

She smiled. "Of course, Tara."

That night at dinner I could hardly eat. I kept one eye sideways trained on Dani, attempting to spot her insecurity. Did she truly think that I wasn't proud of her? That I doubted her? How could she not know how I cared for her? How I felt about her? The rest of the time I spent stealing glances at the rest of the diners. We had visitors as we did nearly every evening but it seemed unusually quiet around the table to me. "Lord Maclay, I would appreciate the opportunity to speak with you at your convenience." My formal words sounded foreign in my ear.

My father was nothing if not a consummate statesman. "Yes, Miss Tara," he nodded only once. "We shall speak after dinner."

A few hours later, our visitors had left the estate when D'rek came to get me. I walked back to father's rooms with him and was bowed inside before the door shut tightly. My father sat at his large desk and put away his pen the moment I entered. "Lord Maclay, thank you for seeing me." I bowed formally.

My father extended his left hand to show his marks and bowed in return. "Miss Tara. Please take a seat."

I did so next to his desk and he returned to his chair. I extended the scroll with my latest efforts on it. "If your Lordship deems it appropriate, I am ready to take my marks. The artist does not feel that this is a complete representation but she approves of the basic design."

My father took the scroll and studied it for a few moments, holding it next to his hand to compare the designs. Then he set it on the desk and smiled, leaning forward to take my hands in his. "Tara. The design is beautiful and shows the honor of our house as well as the memory of your mother, Lady Maclay. I will be proud to see you take your marks and become Lady of this house." It was obviously not an afterthought yet he waited a heartbeat before adding, "And your Dani will do this house and your Ladyship great honor when she is bonded. You two are a wonderful and beautiful pair."

I looked away briefly. "Yes, Lord Maclay. Dani looks forward to our bonding."

My father poured me a small cup of tea and placed a sweet stick into it, stirring twice before handing me the cup. "Tara. You have concerns about Dani?"

I felt relieved that we were entering a more informal conversation. "Concerns for her, Father. Not about her. I know that she is completely devoted and I could never ask for a better partner."

"What then?"

I took a deep breath. "I don't like the idea of her being hurt. I know the marking hurts and servants are not given any herbs. I…I just…"

My father nodded. "Yes. I understand." He took the tea and set it on the table before taking my hands again. "I do not believe that the marking process is easy for our servants but their pain is part of what binds them to us and gives us pride. I am sorry that it will hurt Dani and that it will hurt you through her." He looked around the room. "I must confess that I had similar concerns about Derek but he has now taken marks three times with me and reports that the pride outweighs the pain." I nodded but apparently I didn't look relieved. "There is something else?"

I looked away and bit my lip slightly. My father easily picked me up and put me in his lap like a small child, wrapping his arms around my waist. "There. Now you can tell me what is bothering you without having to look into my eyes."

I felt like the words were lodged in my throat. I could feel tears in my eyes and wanted to avoid saying this. "I'm not just afraid for her for the mark pain. I…the marks-rights…." Before she had taken her marks, Dani had existed, like myself, in a sort of protected adolescence. It was unheard of, literally unheard of, for an adult man to avail himself of a girl before her marks were bestowed on her. But once she had her marks…

My father tensed slightly in his chair. Then he relaxed and began to brush my hair with his hands. "My darling child, your servant will have five marks. I think of her as my child and can vow that I will never take marks-rights with her." He half-whispered, "And your uncle, Lord M'rtin's interests run more to the…Well you can discard any concern for his interest." He spoke of T'solde's husband here and I wondered briefly what he meant of the Lord's interests.

I was quiet for a few moments, enjoying the softness of his hands comforting me. "Thank you."

My father pushed me gently into a standing position and stood himself. "We shall schedule your marks taking and ceremony for this summer. Please let T'dre know that I wish to speak to her when she is here next."

I bowed deeply. "Yes, Lord Maclay. Thank you for your patience." He returned the bow, indicating that I was free to leave my audience.

I was only a few steps from the door when I heard his voice once again. "Tara." I turned around to see him looking at me kindly. "Dani is young but there may come a time when she will enjoy sharing marks- rights and your status will ensure her of quality and breeding in eligible mates."

I nodded over the lump forming in my throat and took my leave.

My marks artistry was scheduled for the day of the summer equinox. Dani's would be two weeks later and the celebration two weeks later still. While the estate prepared for the celebration banquet, I prepared spiritually for my marks. Each day was spent in quiet reflection, writing, drawing, or praying. Tadre informed me that once I had taken my marks I would be ready to artist marks up to 3rd level without her accompaniment. I had assisted her on thirty or forty artistries but I had no idea that she thought this much of my training progress. The last week before my marks Tadre stayed at the estate, working or praying with me for hours a day.

Dani and I continued our playful debate over where she slept but it had been summers and moons besides since she had won the debate. Usually I held her throughout the night, wrapping my arms around her tiny but powerful body and kissing the most tender places on her neck and hair. This week she clung to me like a drowning man to a scrap of wood, her hands pressed to my flat stomach and her breath tickling my ears. A few times I woke in the night to imagine I felt or heard her crying but each time I was too deeply in sleep to ask her about it. When I woke, I asked her about it but she insisted I was dreaming and carried on with her morning duties but each day I knew I felt he impression of her lips on my neck and shoulders like never before.

On the day of my marks, I woke to find Dani already arisen and gone from my rooms. Tadre came in shortly after I had washed and begun to dress and informed me that we would be bathing in the stream. She bid me come to the banquet hall dressed as I was and I did so. Assembled in the hall were my father, Melanie, my siblings, T'solde and representatives of her estate, and servants-in short the entire estate. My eyes watered at the looks on their faces and shockingly, Anne was the first to reach me to wrap me in a hug. "Good morning, Lady Maclay." I looked strangely at her before remembering that the day of marks, a noble man or woman was honored as if she had already received marks all day.

Donnie followed Anne and then Faith and Dani. My father and Melanie followed the two of them and the processional had begun. Breakfast itself was a forgettable affair. My father and aunts made speeches to honor my place in the family and I found myself blushing and saying, "Thank you" a lot. Dani held my hand under the table, giving me little squeezes from time to time.

After breakfast, Tadre and I took our leave of the group and went out to the stream. Dani had laid out everything we would need for our ritual but was not present herself although I would be at her ritual in a fortnight. We bathed in the river and purified ourselves. Tadre made a supplication that her artistry would be worthy of my marks and I that I would be always worthy of my place in my family.

We returned to the marks tent at high-noon to meet the healer and Dani, both waiting for us. They bowed down before us, making me blush a little. Then my father, T'solde, and Lord M'rtin - all those present who equaled my marks-led me into the tent and sat me in my chair. My father handed T'dre a golden coin and the three of them took their leave. Dani entered and immediately kneeled at my side, taking my left hand in hers. Our healer bowed deeply before applying a numbing salve to my palm and giving me a draught of the herb. It tasted terrible but I found myself floating right away.

As I already knew, T'dre, sang as she worked and the music was part of the magic. She wound the legend of my parents' love into the design as well as the story of my finding Dani and my own magical power. I do not know if it was the herbs which our healer continued to administer or my own excitement and pride but the pain was less than I had expected while still enough to cause any reasonable person to think seriously before taking on such a commitment.

I didn't really remember the completion of the marks nor the return to my rooms. Yet, there I was. I lay in the bed with Dani sitting on the coverlet and stroking my forehead. "My Lady," she kept whispering over and over and I thought there were tears in her eyes. Every so often the healer came in to administer more of the Opiaum. I took it gladly. More gladly, I held clutched in my hand a small glass vial I had procured from the kitchens earlier in the week. Each time I took the herb, I coughed, bringing the vial to my mouth thus storing some of the bitter stuff. By full dark it was obvious to me why we were given the drug for my hand throbbed, dulling my senses with a combination of the herb and the pain. I verily floated through visits from immediate family although I remember both my father and T'solde questioning the healer on why I was not taking the pain easier. I felt bad that my subterfuge caused his great skill to be questioned but not bad enough to take the remaining herbs. A few times I thought that Dani looked at me strangely.

Finally everyone had left us alone for the night. I kept looking at my hand wanting to see my marks but unable to do so through the loose gauze covering Tadre liked for the first day. I knew she would come in the morning to inspect my hand and remove the covering. Then my family would see my marks for the first time. While I could not see the marks, I could feel the magic pouring off them. They were the most advanced marks I had ever seen applied and the magical power in them was amazing. "Can you feel it, love?" I think I whispered to Dani who again seemed to look at me through confused eyes but maybe it was just my own alteration causing the confusion.

My girl so carefully dressed me for bed before preparing herself and brought me a cup of milk, holding my head as I sipped from it. She had put the slightest bit of chocolate in it and it was a sweet treat to anchor me to this reality for a few minutes.

She snuggled up against me, being careful to avoid touching my hand and nuzzled my neck with her nose, making me giggle. It probably wasn't that funny but I felt a little elsewhere and otherwise and something about her nose and my neck just tickled me. "Your nssese. Myneck," I mumbled.

"It's ok, my Lady," she kept whispering but I could feel her shaking. "Please take the rest of your herbs, my Lady."

I tried to deny that I had done anything but I couldn't do a reasonable job and Dani always knew everything about me anyway. "sss for you," I finally slurred. I tried to run my free hand along her face but my palm fell on the coverlet. "Can't have you hrting." I lifted her chin with my fingertips, making clumsy contact this time, and noticed the way her green eyes were shining wet.

"It's ok, my Lady." She kissed my neck where she had been nuzzling but it didn't so much tickle as make a strange warmth travel down my body. "It's ok," she continued whispering as she advanced with her soft kisses. She lifted herself above me, onto her knees and gently placed a kiss on my wrist, just above the gauze. I thought it would hurt but it felt cool and refreshing. "It's ok." She placed another kiss just above the last and then one nearer the side of my wrist. Her lips moved slowly, tortuously wonderfully up my arm, covering every inch, every millimeter of skin and raising goose bumps all along. At my shoulder she continued her amazing efforts and then moved to my free hand, taking just as long as she had on my injured hand. Longer even as she was able to spend long minutes on each of my fingertips.

I had no idea what she was doing, where she had learned this, what she intended, but every touch felt incredible. I was floating through a fog of pain and herb and pleasure and could only occasionally manage a moan or short word or her name. Each word brought her fingertips to my lips, allowing me to kiss them as she shushed me. "It's ok, my Lady," she whispered again and again.

Her lips strayed to my soft breasts, touching the edges and circling. I didn't understand her intention, her movements, or my reactions. All I knew was that right now, this, was the greatest feeling I had ever had. More exhilarating than riding my horse at a gallop toward the sunrise, more fulfilling than drawing a great and expansive mark with Tadre, more wonderful than laughter shared with Faith and Dani and everyone I loved. Through it all, she just kept telling me, "It's ok, my Lady. I'll make you feel better."

I wanted to ask her what she was doing. What it meant. What she…But I couldn't. I just wanted the feeling to go on and on. And her soft and beautiful mouth kept moving, never staying in one location long enough for me to get used to the sensation. Every new spot felt as if she was electrifying the skin before she even reached it. I made small needy sounds in my throat and again felt her fingertips against my lips. Her hands and mouth caressed my feet, my toes, my calves, and legs. Her hot breath was on my most intimate part and I was keening and then her lips touched me and I thought I would collapse but I was already on the bed. And she kept whispering, "It's ok, my Lady" or "I'll make it better, my Lady." And her lips touched me, shaping me, shaping the future of my life and love – the present of my everything.

The next few moments or perhaps it was minutes or hours or days even, were…I can not even describe them. I do not think I would if I could. I floated through a world of pleasure, a world I feared would never return, a world I had certainly never visited. I wanted Dani to never stop what she was doing and at the same time to crawl up and hold me in her arms forever. I wanted her mouth on me just as it was and that same wonderful mouth nestled against my neck as we finally faded to sleep. I clutched at her silky hair and knew I should relax my hand, that I was not riding a horse bareback and I could hear my own desperate whimpers although they didn't seem to be coming from me. I, a fifth mark Lady was brought to this by my girl's mouth. I was brought to everything I had ever dreamed of. I was brought…

I was brought.

I think I screamed and screamed again but perhaps that sound was only in my head for no one came running, no guards burst through the door, no one. Only Dani and always Dani and she was moving up my body again whispering to me. Whispering that it would be ok and I felt her lips on my cheek and I wanted to stay with her but she was whispering that I needed sleep and I did.

After

When I woke, Dani was still in my arms which surprised me solely for the unusual nature of it. Waking before her, an almost unheard of event and one which shocked me greatly given the events of the last 24 hours, I had a few minutes to watch her. She was as beautiful as I had always known but this moment was one of the few when I got to watch her at rest. She was always so busy, but right now, she was just my girl in my arms. I felt a smile lifting the corners of my mouth in spite of the pain starting to throb in my hand. What had happened last night was such a fog. Such a…I didn't even know the word for it. It was most simply the most wonderful feeling that I had ever experienced.

There was a sharp rap on the door and Dani immediately sat up. She smiled and then turned to me, "Good morning, my Lady."

"Good morning, my Dani." I looked at her but blushed deeply and felt that I must look away.

"I'll answer the door, my Lady. I hope it is the healer." She pulled on her robe and left the bed chamber. I heard her open the door and quiet voices. Then she entered the room formally announcing T'dre and the healer. Both bowed to me and I felt some weirdness as I realized that I now out ranked T'dre. She was my master in artistry but I now had five marks to her four and was Lady of my estate.

"Good morning, Lady Maclay," the healer started, "how is your hand?" I admitted to it hurting and he immediately administered a draught of the herbs. With all three of them watching me closely I was not able to repeat my trick with the glass vial and I felt guilt that I could not comfort my girl as well as I would like when it was to be her time.

T'dre approached the bed and held my other hand as we recited a prayer for the work and the healing. "Can you feel the mark's magic, Lady Maclay?" Tadre knew as well I that I could feel the magic emanating from my hand. If I could not, she wouldn't have spent more than an hour in that first meeting with me. But I think she wanted the chance to take my concentration off the pain in my hand and remind me of my role. I was not only the Lady of the estate but an artist. I described the five successful aspects to the magic and evaluated the relative strength and purity of each for her. She accepted my report and nodded throughout, making no corrections. Then she bid Dani to attend to the visitors which my girl did with great haste and formality, inviting my father, Donnie, and Melanie into the room. Ritual required that only members of the estate already possessing their marks could attend an unveiling. In some rigidly formal unveilings only a member of the estate possessing equal marks can attend but in our household, we expanded this requirement. It was one tradition which fell to the Lord or Lady of the estate and the artist to agree upon.

Even though I knew it was coming, I felt sadness that Dani and the healer had to leave the room as soon as the attendees were settled. Once the door was shut, T'dre began her prayer and blessed me once again. My family members all fell to one knee to await the presentation of my mark and T'dre began to slowly unwrap the gauze. Neither myself nor T'dre could see the mark as we both had our eyes shut—a tradition which guaranteed that the first to see a mark were the attendees. She finished unwrapping my mark and I extended my hand toward my family. After waiting three heartbeats, I opened my eyes to be greeted with a clear view of all three of their marks and tears in Melanie's eyes.

"Lady Maclay," my father said with a bow followed by Donnie and Melanie. I responded to each with their formal names and titles. My father then turned to T'dre and congratulated her on her excellent artistry.

After that came a very informal few minutes spent receiving hugs and kisses from my family and Tadre as well as Faith, Anne, and Dani who were let in a few minutes later. Throughout the day, timed according to rank and proximity, I received visitor after visitor who formally addressed me and congratulated me on the mark. Each visitor brought a gift whether it was a cup of chocolate from one of the kitchen servants who knew how I loved the treat, a set of new handkerchiefs from D'Shel, or a new saddle from Donnie.

Tradition dictated that most gifts for the marks of a noble man or woman were crafts or found treasures rather than riches. Donnie had bought the saddle but had carefully worked the Maclay crest into it as well as impressions of Faith, Anne, and his hands. The intent of this tradition was twofold: it allowed everyone in the household from the lowliest servant to the Lord of the estate to present a gift and it emphasized the wealth of the noble man or woman. In effect, I was heir to the estate. My father was still my Lord but when he passed, may that be a very long time, I would be Lady and owner of our vast holdings. I would need and want for nothing for as long as I lived.

Of course, a theory such as that assumes that we only want for material belongings.

And so I wait.

But I must return to my tale.

The day seemed rushed and memorable yet forgettable as it turned into an endless parade of visitors interspersed by drug induced naps. With all the chaos I was again able to secure herbs for Dani in my valuable vial. I attended dinner in the hall with the rest of the household although Dani had to cut my meat for me. I believe that Tadre's requirement that I draw marks with both hands helped me to have the necessary agility to eat. By nightfall I felt considerably better although still in a bit of a haze. The only sadness of my day was that I had never had a moment to speak with Dani privately.

I wanted…In truth I did not know what I wanted. I wanted to speak to her, to ask her about the night before. Had I dreamed it? With the exception of our early morning blushes, she had been exactly as I would have expected all day: devoted to me and quite formal. She had not touched me more or less than usual nor shared any secret glances with me. Perhaps I had dreamed it? Or perhaps it did not mean…What did I think that it meant? That she loved me? I knew she loved me or at least believed she did and Creator knows how I loved her. Was this intimacy an extension of that? Or was it just her way of making me feel better? Could that be the case? Had it meant nothing to her? An act of service? There was no one I could speak to about this confusion and a part of me wondered if this could possibly be standard, normal for such an event.

It was well past dark when I finally found myself alone in my rooms with Dani. She got me ready for bed, changing me into my gown carefully to avoid touching my hand and washing and brushing my hair before disposing of the dirty water. Then she changed into her own sleeping clothes and climbed into bed with me. I watched her expectantly, the look of wonderment and fascination clear on her face as she gently lifted my wrist and set my hand in her lap. She refrained from touching the design but I could feel her eyes stroking each line. "Your marks fit you, My Lady," she finally whispered.

I lifted my other hand to stroke her jaw line. "They will fit you my beautiful one." She blushed a deep shade of red and looked toward the curtains for a long time. "Are you ok?" I finally asked.

She didn't look back toward me but she slowly nodded. "I don't like you to hurt, my Lady."

I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her in toward me. "It's ok, my girl. It's ok." I whispered it over and over as I kissed the top of her head until she fell asleep in my arms. I followed soon after and only realized as I was drifting off that I knew nothing more about what the night had meant than I did before.

Over the course of the next two weeks, my life returned to usual. I found myself the recipient of much more formal address than before and had to keep reminding myself of my new position. Strangest to me was Melanie's position. She was the closest thing I had had to a mother in my life and yet with four marks she was now beneath my station. I could not get used to the tone of respect as she addressed me as Lady Tara or Lady Maclay. More so, I actually found it uncomfortable when Dani addressed me as Lady Maclay. I had always loved the sound of my name out of her lovely mouth whether it was Tara or T'ra or Miss Tara or even now Lady Tara but Lady Maclay sounded to me as if she were addressing my mother, not that I'd ever heard such a thing. I wanted to hear my own name from her lips and yet I knew that something between us had changed forever, that everything between us had changed forever.

So life around the castle returned to normal. My hand improved every day and after a week I could hold the reins, a pen, or a bow. The healer arrived every day just after breakfast and put my hand through a series of tests before applying a salve intended to speed healing and soften up the skin so that it would not heal drawn or pinched. I was to do a series of exercises bending and flexing the hand and fingers every hour and Tadre limited my drawing, although she made her usual visit to the castle for our work together five days after my marks were completed.

A few days before Dani was to take her marks we began our journey. The journey is an optional but frequent tradition. Certain mark-bound pairs will choose to undertake a journey together to allow them to spend final time together before the relationship is formally created. It is, in theory, a chance for the master or mistress to make clear her expectations and a chance for the servant to ask questions freely and openly or to withdraw from the agreement if appropriate. I had never heard of a servant choosing to withdraw from such an arrangement but it was possible that when this happened the family did not want to disclose this information and that this was why I had never heard of it. I felt doubtful that Dani would not want to be with me. Creator knew how much I wanted to be bound to her. I hoped that our time together would give her a chance to examine any doubts she may have but I did not know what they might be. More so, I prayed for a chance to discuss what we had not discussed since the night of my mark- taking.

Following breakfast thirteen days after my mark-taking, we made our way to the courtyard to find our horses saddled and loaded for us. Dani had, of course, completed our packs last night and this morning before we came down for breakfast. The stable hands had saddled our horses for us and provided us with rations and water. We planned to hunt on our journey but we would be rationed nonetheless. Our return was scheduled, per tradition, for noon the next day.

The night before Donnie had pulled me aside to speak to me about our journey. He confided to me that during this time, the relationship between myself and Dani would be equal. I would not be her Lady nor she my girl. This was information which a mark-pair was only given the night before a journey and always by the last pair marked in their house. I looked forward to the opportunity to hear my girl call me Tara even if nothing else in the day was profitable.

Father, Melanie, D'rs, D'elam, Donnie, Anne, Faith, and D'Shel saw us off, each giving us many hugs and well wishes and I saw that Father and D'Shel both had tears in their eyes as we mounted Hope and Dream. I remember looking back and forth between the two of them for a long time. I so rarely thought of D'Shel as Dani's mother, yet she was. When I did think of it, I felt great respect for this woman. From what I knew of Dani's magic, it was obvious to me that D'Shel as well as Dani's father were both noble or formerly noble. The absence of marks on D'Shel's hand meant that she had not been noble but perhaps her parents or grandparents had been and somehow they had fallen on hard times. Rather than take a free-woman's job which she certainly could have done given her considerable skills in the kitchen, she had offered mark-binding on herself in order to provide her daughter with a higher, still mark-bound, future.

We waved as we rode from the courtyard and followed our estate path a mile or so. After a mile, Dani left the road to ride through a break in the hedge. I felt very glad to see her take that initiative as I had feared that I would have to take command on this journey in spite of our equality. If her submission was too deeply ingrained I didn't know that she could forget it so easily. We rode on for a few more miles in silence until we met up with a small river which bordered our land. "East?"

Dani looked both ways and nodded her agreement and we moved our horses in that direction. "How is your hand, Tara?" She asked after a few minutes ride.

I was very pleased to hear her use my name. So she had also been informed of our roles on this journey. "It itches mostly but I love the feeling and look of my marks."

Dani smiled. "You should. They are very beautiful and impressive." We continued to ride in relative silence for most of the morning before she looked up at the incline of the sun and slowed Dream. "Why don't we let the horses drink and we can take a break?"

I agreed and we both dismounted. I pulled a few apples, cheese, and bread from my pack and we sat on the edge of a rock to share the small snack. "Where do you want to go, Dani?" The rock was small and we were perfectly content to sit side by side on it. It would be a warm day and I could feel Dani's heat through the thin coverings we both wore over our arms and smell her sweet perspiration.

She had apparently been thinking of this. "I was hoping that we could continue this way. Faith told me that there is a waterfall not more than four hours away and I thought we could make camp near it overnight so we could hear the rushing water as we sleep."

I nodded. "That sounds like a good plan." I smirked slightly. "Of course a ride that far might be more comfortable if we were on one horse. We could share body heat that way." I wished I could be more direct. I could ask her to share my horse or ask her about her actions the night of my marks but instead I blushed and looked at my boots and wondered what any of it meant as I longed for the feel of her body in my arms.

Dani knew I was flirting and laughed at the obviousness of my attempt. She stood up and brushed off her britches with her hands then leaned over and kissed the tip of my nose. "Or you could just ask me to ride with you." She stepped backwards away from my grasp and tucked her knife back into her waistband.

I laughed admiring her grace as she so easily avoided me. After brushing off my britches and holstering my knife as well, I took Hope's reigns. "Would you like to ride with me?"

Dani bowed playfully. "Always, Tara. Always." Her tone was completely sincere and I mounted Hope before extending my hand to pull Dani in front of me.

We rode a very long time like that, sometimes on Hope and sometimes on Dream. On Dream I let Dani ride and I was her passenger, enjoying the feel of her hands on my hips or thighs or one forearm wrapped around my stomach. On Hope we reversed our positions and I had her pressed against my front. Sometimes we rode in silence and sometimes we talked, mostly about inconsequential things: Donnie's education, Faith's wildness, Anne's dancing. The afternoon was filled with laughter and teasing. We spoke very little that first afternoon about ourselves or our future. A few times I tried to start a conversation about our relationship. "You really helped me through my marks, Dani."

I felt no tensing of her small body in my hands. No nervousness. No tentativeness. "I am glad to hear that, Tara."

It was late afternoon when we began to hear the waterfall. From the roaring sound I could tell that it was a large one. The water in the stream we rode behind began to speed up and we could see the drop-off on the horizon. To our right I noticed a row of four trees of a species I had never seen. Each tree was tall and wide, just bordering the stream with some roots in the water and some outside of it. Hanging down from the tree were hundreds of branches with long flowing green leaves that waved in the wind, some actually touching the water themselves. Dani must have noticed me staring at the tree for she whispered in my ear. "Faith told me that is called a Willow tree."

I nodded. "It's very beautiful." Dani reined Dream to a stop and dismounted before helping me down. We worked in silence to remove the packs and take care of the horses, removing their tack and brushing them before allowing them to graze and drink from the water. I asked Dani if she would rather hunt or stay at the camp to set up and build a fire. I had no doubt that she preferred hunting but did not know if her training would force her to defer me. I think she really considered it but then a wide smile broke across her face and she announced a preference for hunting. I handed her her bow and quiver and she departed on foot for her hunt with an excited look on her face.

I watched Dani go then turned to the packs. It didn't take me long to erect our small tent nor to build the fire. After nearly a decade of magical study, if I had any trouble with the fire, it would have been an affront to both my estate and title. Before the sun had progressed much more toward the horizon I had completed my work at the camp. I tested the water with a hand and decided to take a bath, disrobing near the stream and folding my clothes on a rock. I took a few minutes to wash my inner garments and leave them drying over the fire before enjoying my bath. With the soap root I found near the water I was able to give my hair and skin a thorough washing. The water was relatively warm in spite of the fast current and by wrapping my feet around a root, I was able to remain stable while floating.

I was startled from my relaxation by Dani's voice. "Now I know why you offered to allow me to hunt." Her eyes danced with laughter from her teasing and I could tell that she had enjoyed her efforts. The fact that a quail and a rabbit dangled from her strap told me what a successful hunt she had taken.

I disentangled my feet and took a few quick strokes to the side and climbed from the water, pulling a cloth around me to dry off. I noted the dazed look in her eyes as she watched me emerge from the water but wasn't sure what it meant. I used the cloth to dry my hair then pulled on the change of clothes Dani had packed. "Why don't you leave those and enjoy the water." I motioned toward the rock. "I left some soap root on that rock."

Dani bowed playfully as she tossed the game near my feet, then with a quick turn verily danced off toward the water. I laughed as I bent to pick up the animals and watched with great interest as she stripped off her riding clothes. My cheeks burned as I noted the curves and muscles of her body. It was a sight I didn't see nearly enough as she was usually in a great hurry to undress at night after getting me ready for bed and in the morning, she was virtually always up and dressed before me. A voice in the back of my head shouted that I should look away, give her some privacy but I found myself unable to comply. In a few seconds, she had dived deep and my decision was made. I tore my attention from my girl and attended to our dinner.

By the time Dani emerged from the water, looking as beautiful as ever and wringing water from her hair, I had our feast simmering in a cook pot. I motioned toward her hair and offered to brush it which she allowed. We didn't speak much as I brushed her hair and massaged her head with my fingertips. When I had finished, she insisted on returning the treatment and I know that she could hear me attempting to suppress slight gasps or whimpers at the pleasure I felt from her fingers. Tying my hair back with a small leather cord, she quickly pivoted to straddle my lap and planted a quick kiss on my forehead. "Maybe we should enjoy dinner," she said as she stood and backed a step away before I could wrap my arms around her waist.

Enjoy dinner we did. I hadn't noticed the empty feeling in my stomach but apparently the day spent riding and preparing dinner had worked up an appetite in both of us. We each ate two bowls of stew as well as part of the quail and some small sweet buns the kitchens had packed for us. We also had a bottle of wine to share. When we were finished we washed our dishes in the stream and then lay down on our blanket near the fire, watching the stars overhead.

I playfully teased Dani about the constellations-an ancient avocation of mine. While she of course had memorized the name and location and movement of every star in the heavens the first time she heard them, I found it easier to remember them if I associated something more fun with the constellations. "There's moose in the bathtub and big pile o crackers." I pointed with my fingers as I reeled off my original list, happy to feel my girl's laughter in my arms. As my naming suggestions became more and more absurd, her attempts to dissuade me of them also mounted. She named the constellations, sang a memorization song for each, or stood and parodied one of our my many tutors. Her impressions of one Master Tellar in particular had me literally quaking with laughter.

When she was done with her performance, she again snuggled with me in our furs. I wrapped my arms around her and felt her contentment. She felt so warm and relaxed in my arms and I wondered if this would be the time to ask the questions that were burning in my mouth. I lightly kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Dani." It was no more than a whisper and I shook as I spoke.

Dani's arms were wrapped around my own and she tightened her grip, pulling my arms tighter around her torso. She giggled a little. "Of course you do, sweetie. I love you too." She lifted her hand and mine in it to her mouth and gently kissed the back of my hand.

I furrowed my brow as I thought about her answer. It wasn't quite the ringing endorsement I…I don't know what I expected. That she would turn in my arms and kiss me? That we would…I don't know what I thought. On one hand her answer seemed to cement our place together but on the other, it seemed so blasé. Almost an afterthought. "D-d-do you have any questions or c-concerns about tomorrow?"

She rubbed the side of her face on my forearm, almost like a young kitten. "No. I have been trained, have known my destiny every day for many years, Tara. I have no questions."

The tone of her voice shocked me. She had no questions indeed. My world was topsy-turvy. I felt lost about our relationship yet she seemed to know everything, to have absolute faith and conviction. "Do you wonder…how things," I pulled away my hand and motioned between us with my thumb and forefinger, "will be different between us?"

She turned in my grasp so that she could look at me and smiled as she brushed a wisp of hair from my forehead and behind my ear. "Nothing will be different, Tara. It will just be much more so after tomorrow." Before I could answer she patted the bedclothes. "Now we need to go to sleep so we aren't late for our big day." She smiled teasingly. "Or are you having second thoughts?"

I lay on the pallet as she had directed but pulled her into my arms. "I have many thoughts but I've never doubted wanting you." She kissed my hand again and pulled my arms tighter around her body but didn't answer. I waited a few minutes and waited a few more before realizing that she was no longer awake. And then I was no longer awake.

I awoke to the smell of fish cooking and terrible singing that I was so used to. I cast my forearm over my eyes to shield them from the sun and shouted: "Dani! We must have startled some grackles. I hear a terrible noise!" It was no surprise that Dani would have been up early to catch our breakfast and I wanted to tease her over what seemed to be her only true weakness.

She kicked at my feet as if trying to rouse me. "This grackle caught our breakfast while you had a holiday."

I sat up and yawned, stretching my arms well over my head. It seemed that Dani had a strange look on her face for just a moment and I wanted to comment on it but at the same time, she blushed and I thought I might have surpassed my teasing quotient for this early morning. The air had a chill and I quickly pulled on the light leather jacket which lay on our packs. I stood and gave my girl a brief hug as I said good morning and then excused myself for a few minutes.

When I got back Dani had divided our breakfast, which consisted of the pan fried fish with a butter and spices, peaches, and corn cakes onto two plates. She handed me one and I playfully bowed as I thanked her. My stomach grumbled even as Dani thanked the creator the spirit of the fish who honored us with their gift and I smiled sheepishly. "I'm surprised that you didn't wake earlier with that monster in your stomach," Dani teased as I took my first bite.

I ate slowly and quietly as the first rays of the sun began to appear on the horizon. It was as if I could feel the perfection of the day. "By nightfall everything will be so different."

Dani seemed as if she were studying me. Perhaps she hadn't understood my tone. I don't know that I understood it myself. Part of me was excited like a child expecting a new toy or a woman awaiting jewels for her wrist and part of me felt a sort of sadness I couldn't explain. I was already an adult, a Lady of my Estate in fact, but part of me felt like an innocent child and I completely lacked the words to express my emotions in spite of the years of elocution training. Finally she swallowed her last bite.

"Do you have doubts?"

Her voice sounded small and fearful and I couldn't stand the sound. I dropped my plate and fell to my knees in front of her. Each of her small hands, I held in my own and kissed her fingertips tenderly. Without releasing either hand, I used my fingertip to lift her chin so that I could look into my girl's eyes. "Dani, Love, I have never for a moment doubted you nor my feelings for you. I want you more than I could possibly say."

I could see the tears filling her eyes and looking as if they would spill over. I started to lift my hand to her cheek and she closed her eyes. A tear slowly rolled from her eyes down her cheek and I brushed it with my hand, not knowing what to say.

We sat like that for a long time. She with her eyes closed, silently crying and me kneeling in front of her wishing there was something I could do to take her pain away. My only consolation was that my plan at least would ensure that I could lessen her pain tonight. I smiled as I thought about the secret of the herbs I would offer my girl as soon as I could.

Finally Dani opened her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. I could barely hear her whisper. "You are so good to me."

I wrapped her in my arms and hugged her tightly. "Always, my girl. Always." I murmured into her hair and ear and didn't let go until I felt her hold on me release.

She rubbed both eyes gently with the backs of her hands and looked at our fire and then the incline of the sun. "We need to be going."

"Dani…" I didn't know what to say. Something was bothering my girl but I didn't know what and I just wanted to make her as happy as I could for the rest of our lives.

Dani stood up and brushed her hands on her britches before nudging at my foot with her boot. "We've been waiting our entire lives for this day, Tara." She smiled and it seemed as if her earlier sadness was gone. My girl was back and was as happy as I at the prospect of our intertwined destinies.

Noting how short we were running on time, we worked together to clean our dishes and teardown the campsite. In a very short time we had packed up and loaded the horses with our gear. As time was of the essence, we decided to ride separately. We rode out, passing a wineskin of water back and forth between us. We had a few hours of riding in front of us and our conversation fell to discussion of my family and household business. In the two weeks since my ascension to the Ladyship, I had already been involved in more of the running of the household and estate than I had expected. I don't believe that I understood the extent to which Melanie was involved in the everyday functions of our lives and I gained new respect for her every day. Once Dani had her marks and our celebration was complete, an undertaking that had certainly increased the amount of planning and work, she would have the authority to help me greatly in these new responsibilities.

Although invitations for my mark celebration had gone out moons ago, there was still much work to do arranging everything. It was not often that a five-mark celebration was held and even less frequent that one was held with advanced notice. Most five-mark celebrations were either held to bestow the marks on a Lady as she married a Lord which was really a joining celebration or were held quickly as the new Lord or Lord and Lady ascended to their positions on the passing of the Lord of an estate. This meant that our gala would be more elaborate than any mark celebration we had ever attended with more guests and of a higher rank. Guests were expected from as far as five days journey. Peace had finally overtaken years of political skirmishes to the North and we expected some attendees from that direction. We speculated on the appearances of these countrymen with whom we had never had any interactions.

So our discussion on that morning's ride was very practical and logistical and I was again grateful for Dani's incredible mind. She was an amazing asset to me in every possible way. I offered a silent prayer of gratitude to The Creator for Dani. I hoped that she felt the same about me.

Before arriving at the marks tent, we needed to take a ritual bath. We could either bathe somewhere along the end of the route or arrive at the estate proper and use the same spot which Tadre and I had used. This was my preference but I would comply with whatever Dani's chose.

According to the position of the sun, we arrived at our main road with about an hour before our appointment at the tent. We rode the horses back and handed them off to a stable boy before making our way down to the river. After finding some soap root near the bank, we disrobed and got into our bath. The water was warmer than it had been near the waterfall and we enjoyed it greatly after our long hours spent on the horses. Once we were clean, we offered supplication to The Creator that we could be pure and worthy of the commitment we were about to make. I leaned over and kissed Dani once on the forehead. "Are you ready?"

She smiled and took my hand as we climbed from the water. "Yes, My Lady."

We dressed, checked the position of the sun, and walked to the marking tent. Waiting for us outside the tent were T'dre, D'Shel, D'rs, and D'rek. T'dre would be artisting the marks and D'rs and D'rek were present because they held five marks each. D'Shel, while she only held 3 marks, was present to "give" Dani to me. It was a formality not all houses observed but the Maclays always wanted the parents or parent of the servant accepting a mark present for the ceremony if possible. T'dre welcomed us and took our hands to offer a prayer to The Creator. Then she released Dani's hand and T'dre and I entered the tent to wait.

Once inside, I handed T'dre a solid gold coin, the same as my father had done for my marking. She tucked the coin away as I'd seen her do many times now. This was not her entire payment; it was more of a token to bind her and myself to the art and magic she was about to perform. We waited a few moments and then Dani entered the tent. I could see that D'Shel held her left hand while D'rs and D'rek had their hands on her shoulder blades. Everyone in the tent bowed deeply to me as befit my station of Lady T'ra Maclay. I extended my mark and nodded my head to accept their devotion.

Holding my marked hand in hers, T'dre stepped up to Dani and joined our hands, mark to palm. I knew what was coming, having been to and assisted in tens of markings but I still had no idea the intensity of the event. I wanted this more than anything, to take Dani as my servant, and at the same time wanted to always be worthy of my girl. "Who gives this woman, Dani, swearing support for her skill and worth as marked servants of this house?"

D'rs and D'rek answered in unison, taking their hands from Dani's back as they finished speaking. "We do."

"D'Shel of the Maclay Estate, do you give this woman, Dani, to become D'ni-mark bound servant of Lady T'ra Maclay?"

I could hardly breathe as I waited for D'Shel's answer. These might just be the most crucial few minutes of my life. It was unusual but not unheard of for a parent to revoke their grant even this late just as it was possible, although I prayed not, that Dani could refuse the bonding. I only expelled my breath when I heard D'Shel's answer. "I, D'Shel of the Maclay Estate, give this, my only daughter Dani, to become D'ni-mark bound servant of Lady T'ra Maclay." As she finished speaking she released Dani's hand. She turned and kissed Dani on each cheek before D'rs and D'rek bowed to me and then led her from the tent.

T'dre smiled at the two of us. Dani had tears in her eyes as did I. T'dre looked back and forth between us and squeezed our hands in hers, attempting to comfort us. Part of the artist's responsibility was to guide the bound pair through the process.

T'dre took a deep breath before intoning. "Creator. We stand before you ready to bind this woman D'ni to her Lady T'ra Maclay. We humbly ask your blessing that my art be as strong and pure as their connection, that the magic bind, protect, and guide them for all time." She waited a few seconds before addressing us. "Lady T'ra Maclay. Do you invite and accept this servant to be bound to you as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"And do you vow the protection and devotion of your Estate, your Ladyship, your marks, and your very being upon this servant, now and forever?"

I could feel tears running down my face but I smiled nonetheless. "I do." I had never seen Tadre do this in another binding but she gently lifted my free hand to her mouth and placed a kiss on the back.

"Dani, daughter of D'Shel of the Estate of Maclay, do you freely choose to become the bound servant of Lady T'ra Maclay?"

I felt as if my heart would pound out of my chest. I wondered if the other two women could hear it beating against my rib bones. Surely Dani could feel it through our hands. Her voice sounded strangely far away in my straining ears. "I do."

"And will you, choosing this binding, serve Lady T'ra Maclay with your every intention as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

Tadre lifted Dani's free hand to her lips as she had done with mine and planted a similar kiss on my servant. She smiled at both of us. "Lady T'ra Maclay and Dani, you have vowed your commitment to this binding, freely choosing it and understanding what this binding represents. It is now my honor to commit this binding to The Creator. Thank you for your gift." She indicated with her hands that we should sit and we did.

Artists had great latitude in their choice of position for the servant or noble man or woman receiving marks. While a noble man or woman could advise on this choice, most left it up to the artist and Tadre told me that she had never heard of a servant expressing a preference. In the binding of a female servant, T'dre's preference was that the noblewoman should sit on the ground of the tent, her back and sides supported by a special chair or pillows with her servant between her legs. This allowed the servant to relax into her mistress's arms and accept her comfort and stability. The position also forced the mistress to immediately assume a role of protection for her servant which would last throughout the years of their binding.

I took my seat and looked up to see Dani gazing at me. For a moment, I thought that she might kiss me but the instant passed and she turned to sit against me. "I'm going to bare your hip now," I whispered in her ear and she nodded.

I wished so badly that the healer was present. I wanted him to apply the numbing herbs to Dani's hip before T'dre could start her artistry not to mention wanting Dani to take an oral dose of the herbs.

I did not feel apprehensive for myself in spite of the warning Tadre had given me during our lesson last week. After I believed we were done she had asked me to take a walk in the gardens. I found this strange but said yes without question. Once on the walk she asked me to sit and then explained that she wanted to warn me about Dani's binding. While most people could not feel the anchors we put in our work, she and I had a very unique ability where marks were concerned. The ability to feel the connection in the marks was something that we shared and something that was unique to artists or potential artists. It also meant that as an artist, I would be able to feel the binding between each anchor placed in my mark and Dani's as it was used-we called it "pulling through." She said that the sensation would not near the pain of my marking but that it might be uncomfortable and certainly would be something of note. She had also indicated that my ability to feel the anchors could make the artistry even more intense for Dani.

T'dre cleaned the spot on Dani's hip, prayed again that her art would be strong and pure, and began her artistry. I felt Dani tense when the hot needle first touched her skin and I tensed along with her but I held her and whispered in her ear and stroked her head and back and she relaxed after a minute or two. I tried to keep from looking at the needle going in and out of Dani's tender skin but I could smell her flesh burning. Finally I decided that if she could withstand the feeling, I could at least look at T'dre's work.

My first thought was how beautiful the artistry was but my next was that's all she has done? A moment later I felt a very sharp pinch in my palm which shot up my arm and realized that she was binding the first anchor. It must have been painful for Dani also for my girl twitched in my arms. I tightened my grip and began whispering in her ear. "You're doing wonderfully, my girl." "That's the way." "Very good."

Together we attempted to use controlled breathing to help Dani through the pain. I could tell that it was very intense both because of the depth of feeling I was having as each anchor was pulled through the binding but also because I could tell that Dani was losing her grip on her reality. I continued to stroke her and whisper to her but she no longer answered me unless I was very forceful with her. She began to hum lowly and I had to tilt my head to realize that she was intoning a spell to calm herself. T'dre's eyes snapped open and she looked between Dani and I for a long moment, removing the needle from Dani's skin. She made no comment but returned to her work after a half minute or so.

I could see that T'dre was over half-way done with the marking but I didn't know how long we had been in the tent. Given how fast I knew T'dre usually worked on a binding, it could have been an hour to an hour and a half but then this binding was much more elaborate and complex than any I had ever witnessed. T'dre had confessed to me the week before that this was the most complex binding she had ever performed.

One stroke of her needle pulled three anchors through the binding and both Dani and I jerked back. As soon as I could let go of the sensation, I again began attempting to calm my girl who was obviously in intense pain. She wasn't crying but I could tell how hard she was working to avoid it. I began to sing her a song both to comfort her and to attempt to lessen the pain. I smiled for a moment as I remembered that this was the same song I tried the day my father had given us the horses.

It seemed that the binding's intensity was increasing for everyone in the tent and I didn't notice at first the effect that the pain was having. The first time T'dre reached to dip her needle in ink and had to move the cup, I did not notice but I soon realized that she was having trouble as the cups were hovering just inches off the floor of the tent. Then a pillow rose slightly and crashed back down. T'dre set down her needle and closed her eyes. I could tell that she was praying and closed my eyes to join her. When she opened her eyes again, she didn't pick up the needle but reached out and placed her hands on the backs of mine. Since my arms were wrapped around my girl, she was also holding Dani.

She looked at me very intently before speaking. "Lady T'ra. You must control your magic." I realized that her hands were now stroking the skin on Dani's arms and recognized the spell she was trying to cast to lessen the pain for my girl. Her words were pointed as she emphasized what I needed to do. It was obvious to everyone in the tent that she knew I was not floating the cups. We had worked and studied together for years and she knew every scent, every heartbeat of my magic. She moved one hand to stroke Dani's face. "Dani, can you look at me?"

Dani looked up at T'dre and attempted to smile.

"Ok. You are through the biggest part of the binding and you're doing great." Dani nodded and T'dre continued. "Your Lady is having trouble controlling her magic." Dani took a deep breath. "You must help her. Do you understand?"

Dani's voice was weak as she slowly choked out her answer. "I will do my best, Miss T'dre."

I tightened my grip on my girl and repeated to T'dre that I would work to control myself. I felt a fear deep in the pit of my stomach that our secret was out. I trusted T'dre more than anyone not of my immediate family, yet the fact that she knew of Dani's power filled me with a terror I could not control.

"I will begin again."

And then she was pressing that needle into Dani's skin again. Both Dani and I were humming with the intensity of it as I attempted to cast a strong enough spell to bring her through the binding. Her body shook and sweat poured from her forehead which I tried to wipe with a soft cloth. I hummed my spell and placed soft kisses on her neck and continued telling her that she was doing so wonderfully but seeing her in this much pain made me feel like my heart would break for her. In spite of the pain, she did wonderfully at controlling her magic. Not another cup lifted from the floor. Apparently, T'dre's clear warning was enough to scare Dani into control. Either that or she simply didn't have the energy and strength any longer to invoke a spell, even unintentionally.

I could feel that T'dre was finishing up the binding and I looked to see that I was, in fact, correct. She had pulled through all the anchors and was just adding some detail and edging to the pattern. She asked me to put my palm right next to Dani's mark so that she could ensure it was exact and then asked me to also check it. I had never heard her do such a thing but then she didn't usually perform markings on her apprentice. I looked and then looked again as it was surely a test and sure enough, she had left off two tzardses, what might look like a small curlicue to the average person near the bottom. I pointed them out and she smiled and added them.

After she set down her instruments, T'dre took our hands in hers and said a blessing to The Creator that her artistry would be worthy of our bond. She opened her eyes and we did too and she offered me a carafe of water and cup from which I drank before offering it to D'ni. My girl was somewhat out of it and I could tell that she was in a great deal of pain but she accepted the water with my holding the cup in one hand and her chin in the other. Even so, she shook so that most of the sip dripped down her chin. Then T'dre stepped outside the tent and spoke to her servant quickly.

We rested until D'rek returned. He bowed to me and asked if we would like assistance to get to my rooms. It was fortunate that we had a male servant of equal rank to D'ni at the estate or we would have had to manage her transport on our own. I thanked him and he spoke very gently to Dani telling her that he was going to pick her up now. He held her easily as her weight was not great although it was great enough to have posed a challenge if the two of us had needed to move her. T'dre stepped outside the tent, followed by myself, and then D'rek. We saw no one outside the tent and a quick look at the sun told me that the artistry had taken about three and a half hours. I didn't stop to investigate it though; I wanted to get my girl into my rooms where I could care for her as quickly as possible. I led D'rek through the kitchens and down the hall to my rooms, noting that there seemed to be no one in the house. I knew that T'dre's servant had come to the house to tell everyone to leave as soon as she had fetched D'rek. Neither noble nor serving person could see Dani until her mark was shown the next morning, excepting myself, T'dre, T'dre's servant, and D'rek of course.

He laid her on the bed and bowed to all three of us before leaving the room. Tadre repeated that she would see us in the morning and gave me a very informal and non-traditional kiss on the forehead. Before leaving the room she apparently considered it and then turned back toward the bed to place a similar kiss on Dani's head. She whispered a message to my girl and then left my rooms.

The moment T'dre had left my rooms I rushed to my girl's side. I sat very carefully on the bed and took Dani's hand in my own, holding it to my breast and stroking the back of her hand. "How are you?"

She spoke through gritted teeth to say that she was fine, My Lady, which was an obvious and lame attempt to comfort me. I understood but I wanted to ease her pain, not ignore it. I placed my hand on her cheek to cup her face and looked into her eyes which watered with tears. Before I could say anything, her tears started. I held her like that for a long time before finally moving behind her to mimic the earlier posture as I held her sobbing form. When it seemed that she had moved through that bout of sadness and pain, I offered her a drink of water which she gladly accepted although she refused any of the meal which had been left for us in my outer rooms.

I could tell that she was tired but also that she was in pain badly enough that I doubted she could sleep. I reached my hand out to get the small vial of herbs and easily took it from behind the book on my bed table. "I have something to help the pain, darling."

Dani shook her head as forcefully as she could muster. "No herbs for servants, My Lady."

I held out the vial in front of her mouth and whispered as I stroked her hair with my other hand. "It's ok, Dani. I got these special for you." I continued stroking her hair. "Because you are so special."

A wave of pain must have gripped for her because it was now obviously so much harder for her to speak. Her tears began to flow again as she gasped. "Please don't make me. Please, My Lady." It was as desperate plea as I'd ever heard and far more desperate than I ever hoped to hear.

I knew that she was afraid that I would doubt her for this weakness but I did not. I knew how devoted she was, how loving, for how could it be anything but?

I stroked her hair and lifted the vial near her lips. "It's ok, My sweet. I don't doubt your binding or commitment or devotion. This can't make me doubt you. Please take this."

My girl didn't move her mouth any closer to the vial. Her difficulty in speaking again increased. "Pl-leas…no h-erbbbbbs. Weaken the b-b- bon…" she gave up speaking so hard was she crying.

"They won't weaken the binding, my girl." I still held the vial in front of her mouth but she had moved no closer to it, in fact locking her lips together in obvious pain.

It was no more than a whisper but I heard it nonetheless. "Please. Please. Please." My girl was pleading with me, not to lessen her pain but to allow it to continue.

Every fiber of my being, my love for her, screamed that I should share the herbs with her and ease her torture but I couldn't force her. I moved the vial away from her lips and capped it. Once my hand was free, I wrapped that arm around my girl's shoulders and patted her. "It's ok, Dani. It's ok." I could feel the tears on my face as I could do nothing to lessen her pain.

Yet, it seemed that her pain was lessening. She loosed her lips again and took a gasping breath before allowing her body to go limp in my arms. The last thing she said before losing consciousness was, "Thank you, My Lady. Thank you."

I sat through that long night holding her in my arms, stroking her head and hair, whispering to her, patting her when she stirred. I did not get up and get the food we had been left in spite of my growling stomach nor use the necessary in spite of that eventual need. I could do nothing but hold and continue to hold my girl through this, the hardest and longest night of my life.

In spite of my exhaustion, I had trouble sleeping. But even given those long hours spent in the night with nothing but my feelings and thoughts, I did not understand what I've come to understand now.

My girl's pain that night was not caused by her marks, or not entirely. She was pained by attempting to dissuade me from my intention. Melanie's words come back to me: "Once your servant is mark- bonded to you, it would be literally impossible for her to leave you. To cross you. To fail you. Actually impossible." To beg to be free of the herbs, D'ni was battling the bond. Had I pushed her farther, she would have taken the herbs or done anything else I demanded of her.

What else? Whatever else has she done only because she could not refuse me?

I must have dozed sometime before dawn for I awoke to my girl stirring in my arms. I immediately patted her and kissed her forehead whispering that it was ok, that she was with me. Her green eyes opened and she twisted in the bed to look at me, grimacing slightly before kissing my cheek and then looking down at the coverlet. "Good morning, My Lady."

I smiled at her formal address and returned it appropriately. "Good morning, D'ni."

She giggled as if embarrassed by my using her title rather than her name after all these years, then sat forward to test her leg. The movement obviously pained her but it was nothing like her expression last night. I waited on her for her needs and then offered her breakfast which I knew would be waiting in the foyer. She admitted not being sure if she could eat but nodded that she would try to hold something down. Although she looked quite nauseas, she ate a respectable number of cheese rolls (her favorite, sent special by the kitchen staff), and grapes and drank some goat's milk with it.

After I had also eaten and put the tray outside the door, I asked if she would like to see her mark. She bit her lip but nodded and I closed my eyes as I set my palm face up on her leg and lifted the cover. I heard a gasp from her. I could not tell if it was a gasp of pain or surprise or excitement and could do nothing but wait. I had promised my girl years ago that she would be the first to see her marks after they were completed and now would not go back on my word in spite of my rights and more compelling, my curiosity.

"They are so beautiful, My Lady." Her voice was no more than a teary whisper. "Please look at them."

I opened my eyes and also gasped. They were, as Dani had said, incredibly beautiful. At the same time, they made me want to grab for the vial of herbs. Under the beauty of the mark the skin looked red and burned. I knew from my own mark taking that this effect would take three to five days to lessen – a period of rather intense discomfort if not pain. At least the healer would come today to apply a salve to her marks so they would heal well and quickly. My eyes filled with tears and I fell to my knees on in front of her. Her marks were just so beautiful and I could feel the strong pulse of energy flowing back and forth between our identical designs like a heartbeat.

She was mine.

Mine. The word resonated in my head.

I rose from the bed and desperately kissed her lovely and beautiful lips. It wasn't something I planned but the moment our lips met it was obvious that it was the perfect thing to do. My heart pounded so but I couldn't bring myself to pull away and Dani moved her mouth against mine. For a few moments it was awkward as I started to learn the landscape of her lips and she mine. Awkward or not, it was, simply, the most glorious, perfect moment of my life and it stretched on and on. I didn't consciously think of what I was doing, but when she opened her lips slightly, I traced them with the tip of my tongue and it became a different type of kiss-equally glorious and differently perfect.

I released her from my hands only when I heard her gasp in pain. "Dani? What is wrong?" Tears had formed in her eyes and I saw that my loose shirt had draped across her mark. She wouldn't say what had hurt her but her frantic and pained eyes darted between the mark and the hem of my shirt and I quickly snatched it away. With my other hand I grabbed for the vial of herbs and pulled them open. "Please take these, darling. They will help with the pain and I swear I'll never tell anyone." I held the vial out in front of her chin and stroked her cheek with my other hand.

For a long minute she didn't look up. When she did I could see the tears pooled in her eyes. I stepped back in shock as she dropped with obvious discomfort to the ground at my feet and kneeled in front of me. Her voice seemed to shake as did my hands and she spoke haltingly in no more than a whisper. "I struggle to speak, My Lady, but please don't…disrespect yourself or your servant so."

I fell to one knee in front of her and took her hands in mine. "My girl. I don't intend to disrespect either of us but I don't like you in pain." She titled her head and for a few seconds her face was unreadable as if she could not understand my words. I almost thought she showed pity for me but that was not possible. A tear rolled over her eyelid and down her cheek and she held out her hand for the vial, the pain finally taking over as her look was one of absolute pain and defeat. "Just a little. Here." I held the herbs for her to take a small sip and she grimaced at the foul taste.

Knowing how quickly the opiaum would take effect, I put out a hand to steady her by the elbow and helped her back into the bed. Tears still shined in her eyes but now they had a dazed look that I knew was caused by the powerful drug. I tucked the covers around her, being careful to avoid touching her mark and kissed her gently. "You sleep, my love. When you awake, we will show off your beautiful mark."

Her eyelids were drooping and I had to lean close to hear her mumbled words. "Yours now, My Lady." And then she was dozing and I felt an involuntary smile lifting the corners of my mouth. "Yours now." Just as I thought not five minutes earlier. She was mine absolutely and no one could ever take her away from me.

Ever.

This new girl has finally given up that incessant pounding at my door, her pleading with me to come out of the room, to eat dinner, to take a ride, just to leave the room. I thought that she would give up when I didn't answer but she is persistent if nothing else. Finally, I shouted to leave and leave me alone, cursing her heavy tread under my breath as she turned and clomped her way down the stairs once again. If I ever rise from this chair, I must begin a search for someone else. No one will be my Dani but this girl will not even suffice as a pale substitute.

I grow tired and weary and undeniably heartbroken and digress from my tale.

Seeing that Dani was comfortably asleep, I set about to do what I could to prepare the rooms. I took the tray and moved it to the foyer. On this day, the kitchen staff would creep in to take the tray. I went to Dani's armoire and picked an outfit for her, feeling tickled as I noted a complicated sort of organization according to weight, color, style, and I didn't know what else. I ran my hand over the soft leather of her riding clothes and the silk of a dress shirt. She had a few pairs of loose fitting tie-up britches that we used when we sparred in hand-to-hand and I chose a pair of these in a deep forest green. She had a navy blue silk shirt that she always wore open at the neck and which made my heart pound widely in my chest although it was a long time before I understood why and I chose this for her shirt. Her undergarments were as well organized as her other clothing and I stood and there stroking each for long minutes with what I am sure was a dazed and idiotic look on my face. Finally I took the items I had chosen and placed them carefully on the shelf by the dressing chair. I closed her armoire carefully and quietly and ran my hands over the polished wood.

I checked her breathing and finding her resting comfortably went to my closet which I found as rigorously organized as Dani's chest. I could not remember how many years it had been since D'elam felt it necessary to check Dani's efforts. My clothes were meticulously maintained and organized. Strangely I found one of my favorite dresses near the front of the closet, completely out of its correct placement. Next to it, sat a full set of my undergarments and below the boots I particularly enjoyed wearing with it which had been polished to a high gloss. I took a few minutes to look through my wardrobe before determining that I would, in fact, wear that dress today. Dani was still sleeping and I bathed myself quickly, dried off, and dressed to return to her.

Not wanting to disturb her, I gently set a chair next to the bed and brought over my book so that I could read by the gracious light in the room. She was resting peacefully on her side, the mark away from the mattress, and her top fell open slightly to reveal the slight rounding of her breast. I inhaled when she shifted to her back and forced my attention back to my book.

In truth, I couldn't tell you anything that book said. My thoughts were on my girl and the kiss we had shared. Her lips had felt softer than anything I could have imagined and I wanted nothing more than to repeat our kiss over and over for the rest of time. I wondered if my parents had felt this way for each other or if this depth of feeling could only come with the duration of our relationship-Dani and I.

Finally she stirred, moaning quietly as she shifted in the bed. Then her eyes opened, seeming to take longer than usual to focus on me. She appeared dazed but smiled and nodded as she greeted me. "Lady Tara."

I shifted to the bed to brush my fingertips along her jawline. "How are you, my sweet? Are you in pain? Do you need more herbs?"

Dani dropped her unfocused eyes from my gaze. "I will take them only if you insist, My Lady, but I do not feel I need them."

I felt sad that she would not accept this gift of me but wanted to honor her wishes. "I do not like to see one whom I cherish so dearly in pain but I do not like to force them on you either." I leaned forward and kissed her as she breathed a sigh of relief. This kiss was not so sudden and passionate as our earlier one but it was less awkward in equal proportion. I pulled back with a silly grin on my face, then began to pepper her cheek and eyelids with the softest touches of my lips. "I do not think I will ever tire of this."

"Nor I, My Lady." Dani smiled and I lifted her hand to my mouth to place a kiss there. She glanced at my outfit. "I see you found the outfit I laid out. I am sorry I was not able to dress you this morning." She reached up and wordlessly retied the ribbon in my hair, fingers not quite so deft as usual to but I'm sure doing it more justice that I had.

"Do you think you can stand a quick bath before we dress you?" I wanted to pamper my girl on this, one of the only days that would require and allow me to do so. Dani looked as if she wanted to protest the offer but instead quietly nodded and held out her hand for me. Before helping her to the bathing room, I rang for hot water and it was placed in my foyer while I was still settling my girl near the bath. I readied the tub and then carefully removed her clothes and helped her into the tub. When the water made contact with her mark, she gritted her teeth but no tears came to her eyes and she relaxed soon after that. I wanted to sit and watch her but at the same time wanted to give her a few minutes alone. "I need to take care of something. Can you rest for a few minutes?" She nodded and I kissed her quickly. Then I handed her the small bell usually used to summon a servant and indicated that if she needed me, I would answer instantly.

The moment I stepped from my rooms, D'elam approached and bowed deeply. She had obviously been waiting for me. "Lady Tara, may I assist you?"

"Thank you, D'elam. Please let Melanie and Lord Maclay know that I will be ready to present D'ni within the hour."

"Yes, Lady Tara." I began to turn back toward the door but was stopped by her voice. "Lady? How is D'ni? Is she…"

I blinked quickly as I thought about D'elam's question. It was obvious that she was asking out of personal concern for my girl rather than obligation or duty and I felt warmed that Dani had so many people in our house who cared for her so much. "Dani has done this house and myself an honor through the grace with which she has accepted her marks."

D'elam nodded her head. "Yes, My Lady. I would never have expected otherwise from her."

"Nor I," I agreed and this time did enter my rooms.

I stepped a little faster to get to Dani, wanting to make sure that she was still feeling ok. I entered the bath parlor and stopped as I took in the sight in front of me. She was in the tub as I had left her, resting with her head leaned back over the edge of the tub. She hadn't heard me come in and I stood for seconds and watched her without her knowing I was watching her. Her pulse beat was strong in her neck and I stared at her skin right at that place, wanting to spend the next days or weeks learning the skin with my mouth. I expelled the quietest sigh as I realized that my fantasy wouldn't be possible. My father and Melanie would be waiting for us. I stepped lightly across the room and took the seat by the tub, gently stroking my girl's hair.

She sat up quickly. "My Lady. I must have dozed. I should have been preparing for our presentation."

I shushed her gently, telling her that I had no intention of her bathing herself. Then I picked up the sponge and squeezed a generous dollop of lavender soap onto it and motioned that she should sit forward. I washed my girl, taking little of the time I would have liked to lavish on her but all of the care I could with her mark. Seeing my trepidation, she took the soft chamois cloth we used on our faces from me and tenderly washed the mark herself. Finally I helped her from the bath and dried her with a large bath sheet from the warming cupboard.

I led her back to my bed and helped her into the outfit I had chosen, asking her nervously if I had made good selections. She appeased me that my choices were absolutely what she would have made had she been awake. The blue silk shirt or at least the sight of her pale skin against it sent my heart aflutter again and I found I had to steal a quick kiss or five before setting about to arrange her pants just so. Her hip was totally bare both to prevent pain and to allow our household to witness the beauty and perfection of her mark. I knelt at her feet to slip on her house boots and then stood in front of her. My hand, I extended and felt her slip her own into mine perfectly. "Are you ready, my lovely girl?"

Dani bowed her head in a graceful nod. "As you wish it, My Lady."

I touched her chin with the fingers of my free hand. "I pray that I shall always be worthy of your perfection." I leaned in and our lips met once again. When I pulled away her cheeks were reddened and she was smiling.

I took her by the hand and led her from the room and down the hallway toward my father's sitting chamber. I raised my palm to enter his foyer. Dani's head was bowed but she stood by me as we stepped into his chambers. I gave the slightest inclination of my head as I addressed my father only. "Lord Maclay. May I present my mark-bound servant, D'ni."

D'ni looked up and my father held his mark out toward both of us for three full heartbeats before striding confidently across the room. He embraced me quite informally and kissed me on both cheeks before gathering up Dani to do the same. I noted and was quite thankful that he was very careful not to disturb her mark. He then took a step backwards to assess the work. I thought he would speak but he gathered me in another hug and whispered in my ear. "You and your servant do this house proud." He stepped back and I was surprised to see unshed tears in his eyes. Slowly and carefully he bowed to Dani as she gulped in surprise. "My pride in you is no less than in my daughter nor is my love."

Now it was Dani's turn to shed a tear for my father's kind words. He stepped next to Dani and took her free hand in his. Finally, we paid attention to Donnie and Melanie who had waited patiently for my father's reception. My father and I each extended our marks as I again presented my girl. My brother and step-mother, holding four marks each, now bowed to us including Dani before breaking their formality to hug both myself and Dani.

I breathed a sigh of relief and could see the same from Dani that our initial formal presentation was complete. Melanie excused herself to go outside my father's rooms for a moment. When she returned, she did so with T'dre and the healer. I repeated my presentation of Dani to T'dre and she, like my father, hugged and kissed both myself and my girl noting her pride in our match.

As soon as the formality of D'ni's presentation was complete, T'dre called for the healer and the four of us (T'dre, the healer, D'ni, and myself) retired to father's lounge. We all inspected the mark thoroughly before the healer cleaned it again and then applied the healing salve. I think I held my breath as I held Dani's hand waiting for that generous layer of salve. I could feel her tension start to dissipate immediately as the numbing properties of the gel worked on her skin. T'dre and the healer left the room and I bent to place a soft kiss on the top of my girl's head. "You are doing so wonderfully," I whispered before helping her up from the chair.

By the time we had returned to my father's sitting room Anne and Faith were there, both barely suppressing their excitement. My father joined myself and Dani once again and we presented D'ni to my sisters. Once the formality of that presentation was completed, Anne virtually leapt forward to embrace Dani and then myself. Even Faith, always restrained in social situations hugged and kissed both of us and shed more than one tear of joy for us.

While Faith was still hugging and kissing the two of us Anne interrupted with her typical tact. "When can we give our presents?"

We all laughed even harder as my father protested that he should get to go first since his present was sure to be "the best." I knew that my family would compete to give my girl the best present or presents and we took great pride in lavishing the riches of this day on our bound servants. On one hand these gifts were a way to express the love we had for our servants. At the same time, Dani was now an extension of my Ladyship and the prestige of our estate. The greater her wealth, the more highly it extended our power and respect.

And so began a very long day for my girl. From my father's rooms we went to the kitchen to present Dani to D'Shel and allow the two of them a few minutes together. When Dani had finished visiting with her mother, we met her in the gardens. As she approached, she whispered to me conspiratorially and handed me half of a strawberry tart. She promised me that more were being delivered to our rooms and would be throughout the week. The herbs that had been applied to her hip were obviously working very effectively because her mood could be described as ebullient if a little absent-minded. Oh, she was still fulfilling her duties to me but I asked her very little and expected even less than she provided on this day. I wanted it to be a celebration for her and for her to do as little work as possible. D'elam and even D'rs stepped in to fulfill my every need, or what they thought might be my every need.

Our first stop, the stables brought us to find out what my father had for Dani. Even given how much I knew my father loved and valued myself and Dani, I felt overwhelmed at the gift he presented her. Although it had long been accepted that Dream was Dani's horse and Hope was mine, Dani did not actually own a horse before this. And these were no ordinary horses. One was a 1-year old foal off his own horse and the other a three-month-old off Faith's fine riding beast. If their sires were any indication, these would be hands higher than Dream or Hope and my father made it clear that they were intended as a breeding pair. Dani thanked my father and Faith both quite profusely and respectfully through the tears in her eyes. If protocol had allowed, I would have thanked my father equally profusely for the honor he showed my girl through this generous gift.

After we had finished at the stables, the rest of our family wanted to give Dani her presents also but I could tell that she was tired. Our connection, always strong seemed quite amplified by the bonding and her exhaustion was palatable to me. I suggested that we retire to my rooms and that everyone come see Dani following the noon meal. My suggestion was of course obeyed without dissent and I led my girl back to our rooms quickly, tucking her into the bed with a kiss and my bid that she rest.

And rest she did on and off throughout the day. Gael, the healer, came to my rooms every few hours to reapply the healing salve and its effects were miraculous. Dani slept much of the day and when she was awake she was comfortable if a bit groggy. Her normally razor-sharp mind would not have cut the same lines it normally did were we to have had studies. During her waking intervals she appeared to have regained her appetite, sharing our meals quite voraciously. And our menu was generously augmented by the endless treats brought by the kitchen staff as they came to pay their respects. The strawberry tarts were merely the beginning of the parade of sugary goodness and the kaffee after kaffee (a tradition we had adopted shortly after the wedding journey that many years earlier) seemed to be tempered by the healing herbs or she would have been running circles around the room.

As the stream of visitors came during her waking periods, my girl was, of course, absolutely appropriate and respectful. I had the joy of watching her interact with every member of the household from my father, whom I had witnessed her interact with many times, to the lowliest stable boy. By mid-day I could see that I was far from the only person on the Maclay estate completely enthralled with her. Our servants and staff, men and women, seemed to grow taller, to hold themselves with more dignity and joy when they spoke to her. She praised each with some personal note or a light joke. Some she touched as she spoke and they seemed to gravitate toward her fingertips. With others she seemed more physically reserved but no less connected. When D'elam came to visit her I left the rooms for a while to afford them some privacy in and when I returned a while later, found D'rs and D'rek there also, all enjoying their visit although they jumped to their feet to bow as I entered.

After they left and Dani showed me their gifts, I noted that all the gifts from this upper echelon of estate servants were items which transferred their authority to Dani. D'rs had given my girl an elaborately bound organizer which she used to direct labor within the estate. D'rek had hand copied his charts tracking weather, crop production, and game management. D'elam had given D'ni her notes regarding the progress of Anne and Faith's girls so that D'ni could take over their training.

Speaking of Anne and Faith. They of course came to visit Dani with their generous presents. Melanie and Anne came together to give Dani what seemed like more presentation dress than could fit in her armoire. Each dress was lovely with hand stitching and beading, quite honestly of a quality that neither Dani, I, nor Faith could hope to equal, and with requisite underclothes, wraps or shawls, shoes, and even simple jewelry. My girl and I could attend virtually any social event in style. Faith delivered a much less romantic but much more exciting (to Dani) present in the form of four rare academic books. The first two were on the movements of the stars and planets; the next two concerned measurements and calculations for mechanical movements and those pages I viewed made my head hurt following the lines and figures. I believe that if it were not for the day's other activities, Dani would have been content to settle down with the books and her pen and sand table to make calculations for weeks.

Donnie's gifts were both quite extravagant. His first gift was an exact version of the saddle he had given me with his, Anne's, and Faith's hand impressions worked into it. Both myself and Dani were touched by the richness of his gesture. It was as if he were acknowledging that we children had been raised as siblings and that Dani belonged with us, with our family, always. His second gift was a telescope so large and powerful that it could not be held by hand. Dale and Donnie carried it in and positioned and leveled it in the atrium of my chambers, teasing that they hoped we didn't need it moved any time soon. We all laughed as it was apparent that I could use my powers to move it any time I desired but we allowed them to revel in their strength as we praised them for their wonderful gift. I will admit that my girl was rarely speechless but all the gifts from my family rendered her so many times that day.

For myself, I found myself speechless each time I looked at or touched my girl. I vowed to always live up to her perfection. When the last of our visitors had gone, I helped her get ready for bed and then followed that lead. Once in bed, our kisses left me hardly wanting sleep in spite of the knowledge that it would be for the best. My better senses got me and I wrapped her tightly in my arms, whispering promises and words of love as she drifted off to sleep.

Part 8
The Preparation Fortnight

The next two weeks seemed to pass unbelievably quickly. It was not that nothing of note happened but that the entire household was busy, busier than usual by far. Dani's mark continued its healing, aided by Gael's regular visits and his admonitions to stretch and bend the skin. I will admit that at times, I felt quite grateful for that instruction. I had long enjoyed watching my girl when she didn't realize my eyes were upon her, not thinking myself intrusive for it but feeling compelled to watch her as she moved so quickly and efficiently in any space.

I knew that I was in love with my girl. It had been summers indeed since I had started to wonder at the way I felt for her: was it usual? Was it something she returned? When we were younger I felt that I could exist simply being with her always-that I needed nothing more from her than to be in her presence and that I would always feel my soul fulfilled. Lately, however I was starting to want something more. More…

What had transpired the night of my mark taking was beyond words and my mind dwelled on it at the most unpredictable times. That was not to say that I wasn't thinking of it at predictable times: when we were getting ready for bed or kissing my love as she leaned against the desk, her hands gently twining in my hair with those greedy sounds coming from somewhere deep in her throat. Then, of course, my mind visited that night and my body responded accordingly every time.

But at other times, the intensity of my memories and the strength of my body's reaction to those memories caught me off guard and made my breath catch in my throat. I would be taking a bite of lamb with mint jelly or turning a page in a book on wind currents and suddenly those memories would assail me. I felt almost lightheaded for wanting her in my arms every second of the day.

We exchanged shy and flirtatious glances and hundreds if not thousands of kisses throughout that time and I felt as if I had left our world to visit The Creator in her very home.

As to whether my girl returned my same feelings. I felt it as surely as I felt my own for her. Her eyes seemed to move over my body when I wasn't watching and my kisses seemed returned with equal passion. And if she was not as assertive, not as bold in seeking out my embrace, I thought nothing of it at the time. I was her mistress and she my servant and it would have seemed out of place for her to take greater initiative than I in this portion of our love.

At least that was what I told myself at the time and for a long time afterwards.

We were more busy during that two weeks than ever before, preparing for the celebration to come. As the Lady of the Estate, I had more responsibilities than I had dreamed existed, both domestic and political. It fell to me, and through me to Dani, to direct the household staff in preparation for the feast and housing our guests. A veritable army of villagers temporarily joined our permanent staff to clean and prepare the guest rooms and cartloads of supplies, food, and drink arrived daily during the second week of the fortnight.

Guests had responded months earlier to our invitation and we now began the exercise of positioning each contingent within the Estate rooms not to mention at banquet tables. This was not such an easy project as you might imagine given the subtle and not-so-subtle politics of the Estates involved. We expected contingents from seventeen Estates, about half bringing a Lord or Lady of five marks (many both). We assigned quarters based on a number of factors including rank, relationship, prior political relations with other families, number in the party, rank of others in the party, and preferences of the guests. Some Lords quartered with their wives while others preferred more freedom at a gathering such as this and it was our responsibility as host to know this preference and provide for it without question. Thankfully, my father was unusually astute in his knowledge of these preferences and was able to communicate them without reservation or judgment. Many late nights Dani and I spent bent over the table in my foyer moving scraps of paper and names on scrolls to position everyone perfectly during the gathering. I say that Dani and I moved these scraps but truly she did not seem to need such reminders. Dani would never have insulted me by pointing it out but it was clear that she was absolutely capable of storing complex scenarios in her amazing mind and changing them instantly to try a new solution. As the exercise went on, I realized that in most cases when she used the scroll or sand table, she was only doing it to make the positioning clear to me.

One evening, my father came to my rooms as we worked on this positioning. After our bows and displays of marks, he sat down and visited with me regarding the decisions I had made. He made a few subtle suggestions but otherwise left my conclusions in place and agreed that we had a workable solution. Given the latest solution, 103 of the 112 guest chambers in our house would be in use for the celebration. Before leaving my father bowed to me once again and glanced at Dani. "Lady Tara, I am wondering if Dani would be available to assist me for a short while?"

"Certainly, Lord Maclay," I answered.

I asked Dani to do as my father requested, releasing her to his direction and continued in writing up our conclusions. She returned perhaps an hour later and explained that he had asked her to verify his calculations on a number of factors including the supplies for our celebration as well as the time table of events following the ball. I strode across the room to wrap my arms around my girl and whispered in her ear, allowing, I'll admit, my tongue to brush against their very sensitive tops. "Everyone in this house sees your brilliance, my love."

My girl's voice seemed to crack and she pressed more tightly against me. "Yes, My Lady."

I slowly kissed her lovely and irresistible jaw line. "We would be lost without your perfection."

My girl wrapped her arms around my waist and turned her head as she began to nuzzle into my neck, her lips so gently touching the sensitive skin there in way that made me feel much like the aforementioned mint jelly. "No, My Lady. It is you who dazzle us all with your perfection."

The feel of her breath on my neck was making me feel dizzy and I started pulling her toward the bed while beginning to kiss her soft lips. "Tara," I whispered as I kissed her.

She pulled back for a moment and I thought she would want to stop moving toward the bed. Her eyebrows both rose as she looked at me quizzically. "My Lady?"

Her look was so adorably puzzled, something I rarely witnessed, that I kissed her again before explaining myself. "Please call me Tara when we are alone."

Her look of puzzlement remained for a moment or two and then the corners of her mouth twitched up. "Of course, m…" and her mouth was on mine, kissing me and gently pushing me again toward the bed. And that night…I can hardly share more except to acknowledge that I had reached a point of wanting more. So much more. And I knew just what that more was and how I wanted Dani. So badly. So very badly.

By a few days before the celebration we were all running on perhaps four to five hours of sleep a night. For Dani this hardly seemed an issue as she was used to short sleep hours but others among us, Anne and surprisingly Dale, seemed quite out of sorts. And so, in addition to my expanded responsibilities, I also roamed the castle providing meditation assistance and energetic sparks to those lagging behind. Each such session seemed to drain a bit of my energy and I had to then go outside to replenish it from the earth and trees.

A week before the celebration the hunting expedition set out to great fanfare. Faith headed it up and it was her first such honor. Even without her marks (scheduled for the coming Winter Solstice), she was so widely regarded as the finest horsewoman, hunter, tracker, and fighter in the region that no one would question such a dispensation. With her she took Donnie who not only provided the power of his nobility and marks but his impressive hunting and riding skills, D'rek, and Faith's future bonded servant Dawn.

Finding Dawn years earlier had been quite an accomplishment as Melanie had tried and tried to find a servant who could bring a civilizing influence to Faith's nature. Rather, Faith ran off the first seven girls brought to the Estate and was working on an eighth when my Father returned from town with Dawn in tow.

One of my father's duties as Lord of our estate and therefore the surrounding villages was to hear complaints, mediate disputes, and dispense justice as necessary. As his jurisdiction included three villages and their surrounds, he rotated his visits, spending the day in one village per moon. In the moons following my mark taking we would begin to divide this task between us and I had been with him many times to sit in council and assist his decisions. He was, if I do say so, an extremely kind while fair judge.

Two summers earlier he had returned from the village with Dawn. She was given into D'elam's care for the night as we discussed what my father had to report. Her story began quite normally with a hungry child stealing an apple from a cart and being caught. Much as we attempted to provide for all our people, it could not be helped that some of the citizens were not interested in working or were more interested in drinking ale than feeding their families or that children were left behind when families moved on. The villagers usually worked together to care for abandoned children such as Dawn but this was the first time they had seen or at least caught her. For months prior to her being caught, the villagers had noticed mysterious disappearances of working clothes, blankets, bread from their stores but they could never catch the culprit. They even reported that there seemed to be no lock this new presence could not foil. This day, however, she was caught with her hand quite literally in the apple cart.

I do not know what my father saw in her in that brief interview but he ordered her to stay throughout his day at the tavern and brought her home. His inclination, it turned out, was quite inspired. She was a natural at riding and fighting and seemed to have no more use for the indoors than did Faith. The two of them running wild throughout the estate nearly did Melanie in. Fortunately for all of us, Melanie began to realize the value that Faith saw in Dawn and convinced my sister that without taming, Dawn would never be acceptable as Faith's servant. So both of them calmed down a little. Faith taught Dawn to read and write and do simple sums and they went to Anne for help in their domestic responsibilities.

I like Dawn and especially like her for Faith. She is a very good match even if her voice tends toward a high-pitched whine when she doesn't like something. She's got an unnatural fear of snakes and can be heard shouting, "get out, get out, get out!" when one crosses her path. Fortunately, or perhaps cruelly, Faith is amused by Dawn's snake fear so she isn't bothered by the shouting and the rest of us have grown used to the periodic outbursts.

Again I digress. I was saying that Faith headed up the hunting expedition for our celebration. Due to their relative strengths, Derek went with the expedition while Dale stayed home to serve as father's man in Derek's absence. While I'm sure both father and Donnie missed their personal servants, Dale and Derek had enough experience to be able to fulfill their duties suitably well.

We gathered in the courtyard just after breakfast to see off our warriors with gifts and blessing of success in their hunt, then watched them until they had ridden out of sight. I squeezed Dani's hand and felt her returning the feeling. We didn't have to speak to know how proud we felt of our baby sister riding out at the head of a hunting expedition. Of our hunting expedition.

Once they had gone, we resumed preparing the estate for our visitors. For the final week of our preparations I had an additional duty to attend to: preparing my magical display. Receiving my marks, this gathering would differ from many others in that I would be the only noblewoman to perform a display. At most weddings and other gatherings, all magic users present worked to perform magic. My display was intended to be very understated and precise. Most magical displays were ostentatious for lack of a better term. The noblewoman generally attempted to display the greatest power and scope for her magic. However, I was an artist. I was not expected to send doves flying from my fingertips or make stars flicker in closed rooms. By definition, I could not truly display my skill in artistry. My future renown would come from the beauty of the marks I created and their purity and strength as noted by the result of the bondings.

Tadre stayed at my Estate for the week prior to the celebration to help me prepare for my display but my other, most frequent tutor, T'solde could not come. Although she had been to the Estate immediately following my marks, this period between Dani's mark taking and our unveiling was a period of relative seclusion. We could interact with our own servants and family members and the free people, but not nobles or servants of other families until the ceremony presenting us.

Because of my magical practice, hours went by without my seeing Dani. My girl was handling much of the preparation for the gathering and was doing a truly sensational job. I was as proud of her as ever and told her so, at great length, each evening in the privacy of my rooms. Late one afternoon I finished my lesson and went in search of my girl. I could feel her presence behind the stables, but didn't wish to call her to me. When I stepped around the stables, it took me a few seconds to pinpoint her location among the mélange of lumber, men, and noise. At one side stood my girl and a young man with a pencil in his hand. He leaned against a wall, writing on a piece of wood, then handed the pencil to my girl who added to his markings. It was curious that a workman could write but entirely possible that he knew only enough writing to do his calculations.

I approached them slowly, enjoying the feel of the sun on my head and the sight of my girl interacting so naturally with yet another person on the Estate. When I was a few steps away yet, she looked up and spotted me with a broad smile. "My Lady." She nodded her head.

The young man bowed deeply and held it for three seconds. His show of respect impressed me as the full three second show was not strictly required for a free man but we would see if it would stand him in good stead. My first impression was quite favorable. I dropped my hand and waited for his introduction.

Dani stepped forward. "My Mistress. Lady T'ra Maclay. This is Alexander Builds. He is lead carpenter for the village and directing the temporary stables."

Alexander bowed again as if unsure how to address me so I extended my hand. He did the same and I touched my mark to his bare palm. I expressed honor and respect to meet him and praised him for his work on the structures.

"Thank you, my Lady." He reached in his pocket and I only had to wonder for a moment before he pulled a small dark figure and held it in his hand. He faltered in his speech as he extended his hand. "I believe that it is customary to present a gift of respect on the taking of your marks?" I nodded and he continued. "Please accept this whistle. I carved it in the image of the blue panther. The sound is true and you would do me an honor by accepting this gift of my craft."

I extended my hand palm up and touched the it to the bottom of his hand. "I accept your gift and thank you for the honor you bestow upon my Ladyship." He dropped the whistle into my hand and I ran my hand over the wood finding it perfectly smooth. Fine craft indeed. I turned my attention to Dani. "Dani, when you are finished here, I would appreciate your assistance in the ballroom."

"I can return here, My Lady," my girl quickly answered. She politely bid good bye to the builder and told him she would come when she could to check on his progress.

As we stepped around the stables and proceeded toward the castle I observed the construction. "They are working very quickly. It would seem the stables will be ready in time for the celebration."

Dani nodded. "Yes, My Lady. Xander thinks that they will actually finish the work ahead of schedule." She took a breath. "He also suggests that we consider leaving the temporary stables in place until after Faith and Anne's celebration. Or he says that we can collapse the buildings and store the walls so that the next time the work will be quicker."

I nodded. "He thinks clearly but he puts himself out of work with this plan."

"Yes, My Lady. Xander agrees but he says he has enough work to do and wants to do a superior job for your Estate even if that means fewer work days for himself and the other men."

I considered this. "Your friend is a respectable man. I hope to see him at the free celebration." We had reached the back garden with its winding paths and I pulled Dani by the hand into an indention in the hedge. I wrapped my arms around her to pull her close and began to kiss the pulse point in her neck. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you look today, my love?"

Dani smiled flirtatiously and whispered something I don't think I'll repeat in my ear. Suffice it to say that I felt compelled to kiss her soundly and that we didn't emerge from that hedge for quite some time.

The hunting party returned the day before Solstice to great glory and the kitchen staff as well as the temporary workers we had from the villages set about preparing the meat for our feasts. Faith was in glory for the success of the hunt and Father and I honored her so. The evening of her return we had a large feast for family and servants only and Faith was served first as well as getting to carve the roast for everyone else. After serving herself, she served Donnie, Derek, and Dawn. It was quite a revelry although the entire contingent retired early to be prepared and at our best for the next day.

Normally, visitors to an Estate would be greeted by the Lord or Lady of the Estate, both if the visitors were of particularly high rank. In the absence of a Lady, such as when Donnie was presented, visitors were greeted by my father or Melanie in my stead. Because of my seclusion, visitors to the celebration were greeted by my father, Melanie, or Donnie. Faith and Anne were unable to greet our many many visitors because they did not yet possess their marks-a limitation which grated terribly on Anne because it kept her from seeing so many young noblemen arriving in their splendor. She complained that other girls would have first choice while she would be left with hunchbacks or those with warts or congenitally bad breath. The rest of us attempted to reassure her that she would be the belle of the ball while hiding our laughter. Her future servant, an insipidly cheery girl named Delia, praised her domestic skills and assured her that the noblemen would trip over their own feet to reach Anne for the first dance. Even with Dani's noisily tapping her cup on her saucer to keep Faith's comment from Anne's ears I heard my youngest sister clearly. "I don't know why you'd want to dance with anyone who can't even keep from tripping over his own feet."

I can't tell that Faith possessed any great wish to meet eligible noblemen and I now think that my lack of interest must have radiated throughout the Estate. Fortunately for me, I could be choosy and not attract undue attention or derision for that. As a Lady holding five marks and fourth generation magic user and artist, even at a gathering such as this finding nobility of a high enough birth to equal mine would be very unlikely and it would only show well on my family that I was not willing to marry beneath myself. Of course, the expectation that I would eventually and gloriously bear an heir to my title and my magic was unspoken but understood by literally everyone. My mother's death was still a fresh wound to many and that memory further removed the pressure from me to bring that heir to this world quickly.

My siblings bore greater and varying levels of expectation regarding their marriage prospects. Donnie needed to marry well and produce an heir to his eventual title as well as a magic user. However my father married for love and he expected his children to do the same. Anne obviously wished to marry quickly and there was no doubt that she desired a title greater than "Miss Anne." In order to become a Lady, she would have to marry a Lord or eventual Lord of an estate with a vacant Lady title. In truth, three such prospects were attending our ball and Melanie had hardly been a master of subtlety in schooling Anne and Faith on these attendees. Faith's position was less intense than the other two. If she had the temperament, she might have been determined to marry into a grander title. But Faith was…Faith was Faith and her priorities were her own.

Pressure or not, inclination or not, my celebration was the dominant social event of our adolescence. Not only the Maclays but many other families would be seeking alliances and displaying their most marriable exhibits. It wasn't for nothing that the celebration would include dinners, balls, competition, a festival, performances, and political meetings. Families with lower ranks would be seeking to improve their position while families such as ours would wish to cement our position while allying with similar others. The celebration promised to be the grandest, most elaborate, and most crucial event of my life to this point.

Part 9
The Celebration of the Mark-Taking of Lady T'ra Maclay and her Bound Servant, D'ni of the Estate of Maclay

Being free and in fact restricted from responsibilities, Dani and I had a relatively private day leading up to our celebration. The staff and servants were more busy than usual with so many houseguests although the fact that nearly every noble man or woman brought a bound servant at least relieved much of the work. Oh, the kitchens still needed to prepare copious amounts of food and drink but the guests' servants mostly came to the kitchen or helped in serving the pre- celebration banquets.

The stables had been completed for two days and we hired extra workers from the nearest village to assist with the horses as each contingent arrived. Most of the visiting Estates sent one or two servants to the stables to care for their horses and sleep in the accommodations provided there.

Dani and I were sequestered from the guests although our family and Tadre came to the rooms throughout the day to visit, ask questions, or send messages. Tadre, in typical fashion, brought a scroll on ancient marking traditions and expected me to have it memorized for our lesson in five days. Anne and Faith as well as their girls took lunch with us and spent most of the morning in our rooms playing "Chest": a game of strategy utilizing icons to represent noble men or women and their servants on a grid of black and white squares. Only two people could play at once but we all crowded around to offer advice or criticize moves. Dani's tabulation of our "tournament" demonstrated her victory (this was no surprise) and Delia winning no games (again, this was no surprise). I surpassed my expectations by beating Faith to take second place and I would doubt that she was playing a true game, perhaps wanting to give me confidence on this day, but such a thing is not in her nature nor any of ours.

After a late lunch, the others returned to their rooms and rest and Dani and I lay down to do the same. I'll admit that our nap was well delayed by the exchange of many gentle and a few not-so-gentle caresses and kisses but we slept a few hours nonetheless. D'rs came to deliver a snack of fruit and cheeses and to wake us in the late afternoon. Asking my permission, she spoke to Dani privately in the foyer as I soaked in the tub. While I don't know what she said, I know that when she returned to bathe me, Dani's eyes shined wetly. "Are you ok?" I did not want to ask her a direct question as the matter was obviously private and she could not resist answering but I wanted to ensure that my girl was well.

Dani smiled and reached for the sponge. "Yes, My Lady. Thank you for asking." When she had done washing me, my girl took her turn and the fresh hot water allowed her a longer soak than usual. I reveled in the opportunity to return her attentions and she hardly protested the appropriateness of my actions.

We had just finished drying ourselves when D'rs and D'elam arrived to assist us in dressing and preparing our hair. Both wore elegant gowns carrying the Maclay theme and I complimented their presentation. Normally Dani would dress herself before attending to me but tonight we would both require assistance. Doris was more than capable and experienced at getting me into the most elaborate and complex set of undergarments, gown, and headpiece I had ever worn. My hair, she pulled into a sort of vertical twist and into that she wound a string of pearls and diamonds matching the headpiece. She, of course, accommodated my preference for a light application of makeup and when she had finished, stepped back to assess my appearance. She fell to one knee and bowed her head for three heartbeats, before speaking, "My Lady. You look perfect and do the memory of the Ladys Maclay, your mother and grandmother, proud."

Now it was my turn to feel tears wet my eyes and I thanked her even as she stood to dab at my eyes with a cloth to keep me from ruining my makeup. I embraced Doris lightly to keep from wrinkling my gown and kissed her forehead, thanking her for her service to our Estate and for helping me to grow into my Ladyship which she task claimed as an honor.

Then she took my hands and turned me to face the other side of my room. Dani stood by D'elam and I could see that their eyes also shined wetly. If the sight of my girl in her traveling clothes had taken my breath away years earlier, this took my breath and heartbeat away and made me feel that my legs would collapse under me at any moment. Her gown mirrored mine in style and decoration although where mine had jewels on the bodice, hers had fine embroidery which I knew had taken months to complete. Even Anne could not have produced such work as this. The opening on the right hip elegantly displayed her entire mark. Her hair, D'elam had left loose with tight wet-looking ringlets that framed her face. And her makeup was so well blended that it was not possible to tell that she was wearing any except to note that her appearance was even more stunning than usual. I had to breathe deeply and count to five in my head to keep from closing the distance between us and kissing her, no doubt smudging both our lip coloring and delaying our perfectly timed entrance. Her eyes were wide as she stared at my face and then took in the sight of my gown and headpiece. I thought I saw the slightest hint of a grin before she fell to her knees and bowed before me.

Now I did cross the floor extending my hand to pull her toward me. "You look so beautiful, my girl." I lightly brushed my fingertips through her hair being careful to not muss her makeup.

For perhaps the first time ever, I heard Dani's voice falter as she had to swallow three times. "My Lady…" She took my right hand and turned it over, kissing the palm reverently in a way that made most coherent thought leave my head.

I was startled from my trance by D'rs's voice. "Lady Maclay. Do you need any further assistance?"

"No, thank you." I nodded to both D'ris and D'elam.

They bowed before turning to leave my chambers. "We must join the Estate. D'rek will fetch you just before sunset."

They left in that silent way of closing doors that servants are taught but that I have never mastered. I continued staring at Dani for a moment before pulling away from her hands to reach my bedside table. I returned with a square velvet box and searched for the right words. "I know that it is not traditional to give a present to one's own servant but you are so much more than my servant. I love you with each and every beat of my heart. Will you accept and wear this necklace tonight, my love?" I popped open the box and then blinked as the emeralds and diamonds seemed to shimmer and cast beams of light around the room.

My girl opened and closed her mouth a few times as she stared at the piece before lifting her eyes to mine again. I felt that my entire being, my heart and soul, were open to her and that she could give me The Creator's very joy or darken my life forever with but one word. Perhaps she saw the depth of emotion in my face for she did not delay any longer. "Tara. My Lady. I would be honored to wear this jewelry and will think of your love only when I do so." She bowed slightly as my heart soared.

She turned around and I fastened the necklace around her neck, selfishly allowing my fingertips to brush her collarbones and the sides of her neck as I pretended to fumble with the clasp. I placed the most gently kiss on the side of her neck and then ensured that I had not left a mark before turning her to face me once again. The emeralds, true to my hope, sparkled and highlighted her eyes while the diamonds pulled all attention to this vision. She reached up and ran her fingertip over the stones at the front of the piece and was about to speak when we heard a knock at the door. "Excuse me, My Lady."

D'rek bowed and announced that it was time for us to join my father. He extended his elbow to me and led us from my rooms. In the main dining room we reached the portraits of my ancestors. I asked their leave for a few minutes and left Dani and Derek to stand in front, first of my grandmother and then my mother's portraits. I offered my prayers and supplication that I would do their memories proud as I served our Estate as the 28th Lady Maclay. I sensed Dani silently moving toward me to tell me that we had to go and concluded my silent devotion. I nodded to both of them and retook D'rek's arm and we continued down the hall. The house was empty as I had known it would be.

All of the guests, both noble and servant as well as very few free men and women, would be gathered in the courtyard. After a few minutes walk through the corridors, we arrived at the door to my Father's rooms. D'rek led us in and we found my father near the balcony. We exchanged formal greetings and my father smiled as broadly as I had ever seen. He swore that if it were not for our attire and presentation, he would embrace us both quite exuberantly. He, of course, was presented as regally as were we including his sword at his side and the headpiece which matched my own. Rather than questioning my choice he commented that Dani's necklace was a wonderful addition to her presentation and that it complimented the light in her eyes. He glanced out the doors to the heavens and told us that my mother would be proud of us. I forced my eyes to resist tearing up for fear of marring my appearance and nodded my thank you.

I could see that the twilight had passed and it was now full dark outside his balcony. He smiled once again and stepped onto the balcony, D'rek a half-step behind him. A complete hush fell over the crowd in an almost eerie manner before my father had stopped moving. His voice resounded so that I had no need to amplify it for him. "The Ladys Maclay have been: Lady T'rese Maclay who gave Lady T'nol Maclay who gave Lady A'mel Maclay who gave Lady C'therine Maclay who's son married Lady D'anna Maclay who gave Lady C'therine Maclay who gave Lady H'pe Maclay who gave Lady S'an Maclay who gave Lady A'ria Maclay who gave Lady C'therine Maclay who gave Lady T'rese Maclay who's son married Lady E'beth Maclay who gave Lady B'th Maclay who gave Lady T'bitha Maclay who gave Lady F'cis Maclay who gave Lady P'mela Maclay who's son married Lady R'reta Maclay who's son married Lady W'nnie Maclay who gave Lady C'therine Maclay who gave Lady D'nli Maclay who gave Lady E'beth Maclay who's son married Lady S'th Maclay who gave Lady T'solde Maclay who gave Lady C'therine Maclay who gave Lady R'ael Maclay who gave Lady T'my Maclay who's son married Lady T'rese Maclay who gave Lady T'ra Maclay who took as her mark-bound servant D'ni."

My cue was obvious and I stepped onto the balcony, my hand extended in front of me, on the voicing of my name, Dani a half-step behind me. I knew the assemblage bowed to me for the full three seconds but I did not look at them and in this moment my girl bowed to no one. I felt exhilarated by this knowledge.

Wordlessly, I extended my powers to instantly extinguish every lantern both within and without the house. A few attendees gasped but most waited patiently for my display. As I concentrated on my mark, a few wisps of light began to extend and float from my hand out over the crowd. In repeated tests, Tadre and I had decided that a slow movement demonstrated the highest level of precision and elegance and would give the audience time to admire the display. Moving like smoke, the light wound and gathered in a globe in front of the balcony before beginning to coalesce into an exact replica of my mark. When the image was formed, I began to brighten the light so that it glittered and shone, illuminating the crowd who craned their heads to take in my artistry. I held the complete image for three heartbeats and then an additional three to honor Dani's mark. Slowly the glittering lights could be seen to flap their tiny wings and lightening bugs dispersed to circle the courtyard. The first flew to the lanterns in the courtyard and reaching them, lit the lanterns. Next were the lanterns at the bottom of the tall stairs to the formal entry. Slowly I lit each escalating progression of lanterns in turn so that the stairs were completely illuminated. The crowd gasped as my father, D'rek, myself, and D'ni were instantly transported from his upper balcony to the top of the stairs as the seven lights on that platform lit. Nearly simultaneously I lit every lantern in our Estate including those so abundant in the cavernous ballroom at our backs so that the glow burst from behind and around us.

For a heartbeat the crowd was silent and then the air filled with the sounds of a dignified applause. I had been warned by T'dre that nobles were not given to vulgar displays of appreciation and that I should be very proud indeed by any acknowledgement of my magical display. This, indeed, was high enough praise for me and I could feel my heart beating with the strain of the magic. It felt as if Dani's was beating right with mine, two hearts in one chest and I did not have to turn and look at her to know that she felt proud of my display.

Between her Ladyship, her magic, and her relation to us, T'solde earned the first position in the long procession through our receiving line. My father and she extended marks and then she moved to me as we both displayed our marks. I could see that she had tears in her eyes and she leaned forward to kiss my cheek. "Lady T'ra. You honor your mother and mine." I gulped and nodded, surprised at the intensity of the lump forming in my throat over her simple words. I could not hear the words or blessing she gave my girl next as I was already showing marks and greeting her husband, Lord Martin. He moved to my right and touched his mark to Dani's and I found another lump forming, this one in my stomach. It was a symbolic gesture and one of respect for both his position and Dani's mark but I still found myself almost offended by the familiarity with which he touched her. I only comforted myself with the memory of my father's assurance that Lord Martin would not be interested in taking marks-rights with Dani.

I could detail and list every greeting, blessing, and marks exchange to come but it would take longer perhaps than my story has so far and I know this is growing long. Suffice it to say then that the procession was extensive and exceedingly formal as befit the import of the occasion. T'solde and her husband were followed by no less than thirteen Lords or Ladies of five marks, each arrayed in great finery and accompanied by a bound servant no less well presented. I swelled in joy with each blessing and greeting and suffered my own unmistakable but well-hidden jealousy as six more Lords touched their marks to my Dani's own. I may have known this would happen but it engendered no less a visceral repulsion in me for its foreknowledge.

I kept repeating to myself that no Lord could take marks rights with my girl during this celebration. While Dani was now an adult and available for marks-rights, it was beyond tasteless to share marks- rights with a servant during her presentation. Any nobleman taking advantage of his hosts in such a way would find invitations lost in transit, lodgings drafty, marriage proposals denied, and an assortment of other indignities that would surely lower his Estate's position within the generation. It was, more simply put, something which did not happen.

The final pair in this procession were of an Estate we had never interacted with before-Lefleur. They had traveled long from a Northern land and I smiled to see features so like my own Dani's. The Lord's hair was still a bright red although the Lady had brown hair like Faith's. His eyes could have been her own and her hand identified her as a second-generation magic user while his hand showed that his mother had been a magic user of great power.

Following the five mark nobles came those with four-marks, led by Melanie and Donnie who showed little restraint in gathering both myself and Dani into hugs. D'le and D'elam at their sides beamed with pride before the four of them took their places to Dani's right in the receiving line. Next T'dre, no less excited for us than my brother and step-mother although she managed to restrain her joy somewhat before greeting Donnie and Melanie and moving into the ballroom. T'dre was followed by T'solde's oldest son and daughter with their four marks and so on and so forth.

One of the four mark men, a Master Riley Finn, was presented so well for battle that one could have imagined he expected to be greeted with tigers and ruffians just inside the doors. His formality stood him in good steed if he seemed a somewhat more proud than was necessary in such a gathering.

Curiously the final girl in the four-mark group was a young woman of perhaps fifteen summers who already possessed her marks. This in itself was not particularly unusual as you may remember that I intentionally delayed my own mark-taking for years to spare (or delay) Dani's pain. Her mark identified her Estate as Lefleur and she was shown to be the child of both Lord and Lady, next Lady in that line. I had to read and re-read her hand to verify that what I suspected was true. This girl, in spite of her magical ancestry, was not an active magic user. She carried the magic, much like Anne and Faith, but was not an active user. I might have thought that she had an older sibling who had not survived childhood but if that were the case she would have had only three marks. No. This reading made clear the reason for her parents' position at the end of the five-mark procession and her position trailing her group. One of her parents had squandered their magic. Either her father had fathered another daughter prior to her birth or the Lord was not in fact her father. Her features were similar to his and I stared for a long moment, aware that she blushed under the scrutiny of my study before she moved on to be received by Dani.

There were not many more four mark men and women than five mark but the processional swelled with numerous three-mark members. The din from the ballroom began to grow as nobility inside visited and mingled as they waited for the ballroom to fill and the feast to begin. One unfortunate consequence of the receiving line was that there were no house servants inside to serve our guests but this was a given for this type of gathering and our attendees purported themselves well. The fact that their own servants could easily bring them ale, wine, and crudités from the tables lining the walls certainly helped.

Marks became less elaborate as did the attire of the noble men and women and their servants as the three mark, two mark, and finally single mark nobility passed. My sisters with their intended servants headed those without noble mark nor bond and they showed no restraint in their embrace of myself and my lovely girl before entering the ballroom. Anne, no doubt, felt grievously denied the opportunity to meet the four mark nobles before this and set about to greet everyone in the room.

Immediately following the yet unmarked nobles was a woman I did not immediately recognize. At her side was another woman, again one I did not know and I studied them for a long second after my father placed two gentle kisses on her cheeks and on that of her companion. She extended her right hand showing only the letter "D"-a freed servant's mark. My glance went to her hip as she bared it for my inspection.

I knew that I could not maintain my composure as I realized the identity of this woman. D stood for her taken name-Desiderata-taken after being freed in heartbreak the day after my mother died. I slowly touched my mark to hers and stared into her eyes, noting the way her face seemed to be blurring around the edges. I am sure that some in the ballroom were shocked but without conscious thought, I dropped to one knee and kissed her palm. I felt without seeing Dani's simultaneous movement to her knees and stayed there three heartbeats. We stood as one and I felt Desiderata gather me in her arms. Not until now did I wonder if my show of respect to my mother's former servant had cost our Estate prestige but my father's nod was nearly slight but readable.

"Lady Tara, may I present my companion. Phoebe." I extended my mark toward the woman Desiderata had indicated and noted that she had none.

I grasped Desiderata's hand as well as Phoebe's for a long second. "Please honor me with your presence at my table tonight."

Both women bowed quickly. "As you wish, Lady Maclay," and then moved along. Directly behind them was Gael who was technically free although he worked for only our Estate and then a mass of our and other Estates's house servants waiting to get inside the building and fulfill their responsibilities. I don't mean to imply that they were disrespectful in their urgency but I felt it as well as them and the line moved along rather quickly from there.

Finally, my father took my hand and we entered the ballroom followed by Dani and Derek and then Donnie, Dale, Melanie, and D'elam. Activity slowed and quieted for a moment but resumed immediately. Father and I, Derek and Dani took our places at the head table and other members of my family took their positions at other tables. Other guests could see the name cards on tables and were directed there by their own servants who, no doubt, had spotted their placement upon entering the ballroom. It was no mistake that Anne, Faith, and Donnie all shared tables with at least one if not more potentially appropriate suitors. Our own table boasted my father and myself, T'solde, three other Lords, two other Ladys, Desiderata and Phoebe, as well as the mark-bound servants of those at the table.

Our house servants were in fine form as they began to wheel large carts bearing the soup course to all 12 tables simultaneously. In no more than three minutes, the entire room had their first course in front of them. Before I lifted my fork, I stood and addressed the room, giving glory to Faith for her successful hunt. If any were surprised at an unmarked woman taking this glory, they did not show it and I saw a few heads nod in her direction. I delayed no further before lifting my fork to take the first sip of soup and the inactivity was broken.

I'll not bore you with a course-by-course detailing of the meal. Suffice it to say that the dishes were elegant and elaborate and delicious and I believe that both the quantity and the quality of all made up for the late dinner. I visited in turn with all at the table but perhaps longest with Desiderata who entranced and entertained us with stories of my mother, both after her maturity and in her childhood. When Melanie circulated past our table she confirmed all the wild tales with a sparkle in her eye. I hardly noticed Dani giving subtle clues to the kitchen staff with each course change.

When the meal was completed, the tables were quickly removed from the ballroom. The bards providing dinner entertainment (and mostly being drowned out by the din of so many in one room) were replaced with a grand band who assumed the dais as the tables were cleared. Per tradition, my father extended his hand and we danced the first tune by ourselves. Next, my father danced with Dani as I danced with Lord Martin. I found myself paying dual attention to my movements with my uncle and my father's hand on Dani's hip. Again that nagging and violent jealousy coursed through my veins at the sight of his mark covering hers. At the change of songs the dance floor filled and although the procession of highly marked noblemen continued their attentions to myself and my girl, I could hardly concentrate on their conversation.

I knew that we were nearing the end of the limited number of five- mark nobles but still I found myself hardly able to concentrate on my dancing partner. "Lady Maclay?"

I looked back into those green eyes. "Oh. I am so sorry, Lord Lafleur."

"That is quite alright. I was complimenting the dinner." He paused and looked more closely at me. "I particularly liked the sauce on the duck. I…We used to have something similar but…I haven't tasted the like in many years. Do you have one servant who specializes in sauces?"

It is not in my nature to prevaricate but his question struck me as being somehow dangerous. I felt that he was asking something different from what his words said. "Our kitchen staff are all capable of creating the most delectable concoctions. Perhaps you will try one of the deserts." I waved my hand vaguely at the tables lining the walls and offering every style of chocolate and sugars one could imagine.

I watched him take his turn dancing with my girl as I began dancing with Master Finn, seeing Anne looking possessively angry out of the corner of my eye and breathed a sigh of relief at the end of Five-mark Lords to dance with Dani. While the rest of my night was taken up with a specific procession of Lords and high-marked nobles as was Dani's it seemed that everyone else was having a very grand time dancing the evening and eventually night away. Anne and Faith as well as their girls twirled around the room barely taking breaks for drinks of ale and wine. Donnie, it appeared could have squandered his birthright with half a dozen young women were he so foolish. In fact, everyone danced and danced from our house servants to my Father and Melanie. Desiderata, I noted danced well but seemed to prefer to sit and visit with Phoebe and a host of others. Many of our guests had known my mother and therefore Desiderata before my mother's death. I saw her laughing and joking with many of them as if they were exchanging stories of my mother's youth.

One point in the evening found me taking a drink at the same moment as my girl. I brushed a curl off her face. "Please let D'Shel know that her sauces have brought us praise tonight."

"Of course, My Lady." Dani took a sip of her drink.

"I see our next partners waiting for us." Before Dani could answer I bent my head to whisper in her ear. "I would so very rather dancing with you."

Dani smiled as she brushed her fingertips over the necklace. "As would I, My Lady." We turned and rejoined the festivities.

The celebration continued into the darkest hours of the night. The crowd dwindled steadily after a few hours as attendees became tired or otherwise interested in leaving the ballroom. When Dani and I departed, only Anne and Delia remained of my family. I stopped to pointedly tell my sister and Master Finn goodnight and noted the way he jumped to attention. It was gone 1:30 as Dani and I left the ballroom and regained my rooms, my body still humming with excitement.

When we reached my rooms I could still hear the music from the ballroom in spite of the fact that at most of the guests had left the ball. More than a few noblemen had left with first one servant and later another. While not keeping track by any means, I had noticed D'elam leaving with someone. When T'dre had given me a kiss and left moments after with one of the noblemen from the North, a man with whom she had seemed quite interested while dancing earlier, I smiled and told her to enjoy herself. She had playfully swatted my bottom with her bag but had assured me that she would do so at my insistence.

Dani shut the door behind us and leaned against it with a loud sigh. She was exhausted and her hair hung in ringlets at the edges where the exertions of her dancing were obvious. She was still leaning against the door when she pulled off her shoes and set them carefully to the side. I turned and was watching her joyously when she raised her gaze and seemed to see me finally. "I should get you out of your gown, My Lady."

She started to push herself off the door but I reached her in two steps before she could do so. For moments I just brushed my fingertips along her cheeks, looking deeply into her eyes. When I spoke, my voice was breaking. "Do you know how much I love you?"

Dani leaned her face forward so that our lips were almost touching. "Tell me, Tara." She closed the slim distance and I could feel the beating of her heart through the connection of our lips. And for a long time I didn't think of her words, could think of nothing else but the feel of her body trembling against mine.

Finally I began to step backward toward the bed, pulling her along with me and then remembered what she had asked. "Why don't I show you?" I whispered as I reached around to unfasten the first tie on her gown.

Her hands went as quickly to the bindings on my dress and began to work in what was very obviously a more practiced manner than my own even as I felt her nod against my mouth. Practice or not, my determination was quite fierce and we eventually found ourselves completely divested of our fine ball gowns.

I don't mean to say that this process was quick. By no means was it. Rather we moved slowly, almost torturously slowly to remove each scrap of our clothes, reveling in the skin underneath it. Of course, we had seen each other naked every day of our lives, bathed each other, snuggled, but this was different. My skin hummed with excitement and passion and I shook if I didn't continually press my hand or foot to the bed to ground myself in the reality of the moment. Many times we stopped so that one of us could get her breath or stop shaking. And when all barriers were removed, we seemed to move between a perfect understanding of the way to touch each other and an overwhelming innocence as nearly every movement was accompanied by a questing touch and raised eyebrow or "is this ok?"

I almost thought my girl was teasing me with her nervousness as my memory flashed back to how she loved me after my marking. But it was clear that that was not so. Perhaps that night she was simply fulfilling a duty or perhaps she felt confident and was helped by my state. Whatever the reason, her nervousness this night was as genuine as my own and we slowed many times to reassure each other.

I…we…

I blush to think of it, to tell it now. We were…intimate in every way I think I knew at the time. Wholly open to each other. Giving and taking. Taking and giving and both were the same in every moment. And we began to learn each other. To learn the feel of skin and lips and tongue. What makes her move like that or make that sound or that more high pitched sound?

We were so connected that night.

I ran my tongue slowly over her mark, wanting to touch and love her there and when I did I felt a spark against my mouth. I could tell she felt it too and it wasn't uncomfortable but it was unusual. And later. When I…when I touched her…and my mark touched her wetness…it was like electricity for both of us. And it felt as if she was touching me also…

I blush and can't go on like this.

With every heart beat and every motion of that night I knew how I loved her. I whispered it over and over.

The last time that she…How does one say this? When she cried out my name over and over and I rose up her body again, kissing a trail until I reached her lips and cheeks and eyes. And her cheeks were wet with the salt of her tears. I held her then. So tightly and hugged her to me and repeated how I loved her and was she ok? And she simply said, "Yes, My Lady." And she paused and whispered that she hadn't known if this would happen.

And I kissed her again and told her that of course it happened. That she was my girl.

And we fell into the deepest, although very short sleep of our lives and I held to her tighter and tighter in my dreams.

The next morning afforded us no time to lounge in bed, much as we would have wished. We both had many duties both social and logistical to attend. Dani was up and dressed when she woke me with a few kisses and then resisted my playful attempts to pull her back into our thoroughly mussed sheets. I grumbled but rose from the bed and bid her to go about her duties as I dressed myself. While I liked the way we looked in our ball gowns, pulling on my fine riding clothes seemed to me a portent of a more relaxed type of fun.

My day would be quite full indeed and Dani reviewed both her and my expectations as she made the bed and handed me my riding boots. Dani would be supervising the house staff in their preparations for lunch and dinner as well as visiting with each of the mark-bound servants to ensure the needs of their masters and mistresses were fully met.

Our guests engaged in a variety of events and entertainments over the next two days. On this second day of the celebration, every free minute would be taken up by various contests of physical skill: riding, shooting, running, wrestling, hand-to-hand, and fencing, as well as other competitions. All celebration attendees were permitted to join in the competitions although they had to commit to a contest by a certain hour so that the pairings or heats could be scheduled. Dani and Faith played no small part in determining those pairings, serving on a committee with Master Finn, Miss LeFleur, and a few other nobles. Finn's servant, a fit dark-skinned man named Forrest lacked any hint of personality and seemed more machine than man. Nonetheless, his calculations and suggestions aided us in our challenge to match and pair the contests.

Other available entertainment came from three fine bards, each of whom had staked out a distant corner of the courtyard and seemed to glory in gathering large crowds for their tales and performances. Dani came to find me shortly before the lunch break as the most highly heralded bard in the land began the story of my parents's love. I noted that Dale and Donnie were there as well and paid the performer generously on the completion of his art.

My father and I also sat in conference much of the day and the next morning-either jointly or separately. For obvious reasons, gatherings such as this were an excellent opportunity for meetings between and within Estates. As a group we discussed and decided strategies for optimization of crop yield, redistribution of knowledge and skill among Estates, and other important policies of our land. Many of our young guests would return home with an Estate other than their own to foster goodwill and gain specific knowledge and training not available at their own home. And of course, many of these guests would also seek appropriate partners or contact with others at their new home.

It was also tradition that at a mark-binding celebration, the Lord and Lady of an Estate could not refuse an audience with any member of that Estate nor of the villages surrounding. Very few free men and women (Gael, Desiderata, and Phoebe have been mentioned prior) are invited before the third day of such a celebration but many servants came to conference with one or both of us that day. Some carried a request or grievance while others simply came to take advantage of the opportunity for direct contact and to pay their respect.

One meeting which had quite an emotional component for both myself and my girl was my audience with D'rs. Having been bound to my grandmother, her meeting deserved attention from both myself and my father. Dani announced D'rs and I could see that her eyes were again wet with tears. D'rs bowed in respect to us and then took the offered seat. She spoke plainly and beautifully of the honor of serving three generations of the Maclay estate. She was clearly touched by her memories of my grandmother and mother and took my hand as she again repeated her statements of the night before that it had been an honor to see me raised to my Ladyship. It had been, she explained, her commitment to herself that she would serve our family long enough to see me so honored. She then humbly requested freedom from her binding. My father spoke when he realized that I was crying too hard to do so for I had realized her purpose in coming and why Dani kept crying when she spoke to Doris. While we would not and could not deny the request, it being her right with my grandmother gone, I felt sad at the thought that she would be leaving our Estate.

"Lady Tara and I thank you for serving our house these many years. We will be sad to see you leave our family but will never forget the honor you have performed." I had regained my composure and we stood together and bowed to her to show our respect.

"I would be honored to artist your mark the day after this celebration closes or we can ask Miss T'dre," I told her.

Doris smiled as she told me that she would also take it an honor to accept the freed bond from me. She stayed a while longer to discuss some financial matters. Suffice it to say that when Doris took her freedom two days hence, her hands and pockets would be far from empty. I left her with the teasing that she should come up with her desired name so that we could perform the mark well.

Another quite interesting series of meetings involved a Maclay estate about a two day ride from ours. It was quite a long and involved tale involving my great-grandfather's youngest brother's enrollment in the military, meeting a beautiful noble woman with low marks and marrying her. Through a series of accidents and fights (none related to or showing badly on my great-great-uncle) the estate had eventually become part of the Maclay Estate. That couple had then had four girls and three boys with only one of the girls living to adulthood. She had married well or at least up in rank but had only had one son. That son had not married and although he was young, now was in very poor health. The Estate sent its Steward to the celebration, technically a free man much like Gael, but working exclusively for the Estate.

This Rupert Giles brought with him a veritable library of records detailing the Estate's fortunes (or lack thereof) from my grandfather's time. My father and I sat in conference with him for hours reviewing the financial records, crop production, even birth, death, and judicial happenings in the surrounding villages (of which there were two). The acreage was about 1/3 ours but crop production was much lower than that. The records showed that at this rate the Estate could continue to support itself, drawing on prior funds, for at most three more years. Then we would either have to begin to support its losses or sell off land.

By the time we completed this meeting dusk showed in the skies and my father and I both retired to bathe and prepare for our banquet. The second night banquet would be nowhere near as elaborate nor as formal as last night's but still quite an event. It was again followed by dancing although this night guests also could avail themselves of gaming rooms or sitting parlors if they preferred. They had, in effect, full run of the castle.

All members of my family took part in all the available entertainment, mixing and mingling with all the guests. I noted again that Anne seemed quite attached to Master Finn and walked close by a few times to engage in some close scrutiny. He appeared slightly nervous at the attention but nowhere near as nervous as he should have been. Faith danced with a variety of guests with a great deal of vigor but I could not detect that she paid any closer attention to any one man than any other. I grinned as Dani whispered to me in passing that Melanie would be very disappointed.

The second evening capped an incredibly busy and successful day for the Maclay Estate. The high ranking of our family was borne out by our repeated good showings in all competitions. Faith had won two riding and two shooting competitions; Donnie had come in second in one of those as well as winning a hand-to-hand event and wrestling for his weight grouping; Dani had won a hunting from horseback event and of course stood to win the Chest challenge in the morning; I had taken second in broad sword and first in rapier; Dawn had surprised everyone with a three league running win; and, Delia had even more surprisingly won her wrestling category. Anne had of course been thrilled to watch Master Finn win two long bow ribbons although he came in a disappointing eighth in his hand-to-hand contest. His apparent cousin, Master Stefan Finn, had won more events than any other competitor save Faith. He had won the riding events not won by Faith, won two shooting events, and personally beaten my little sister at the rapier. The fourth son of the third son of the previous Lord (Riley's grandfather) and holding only two marks, he apparently fostered with Lord Finn to make use of his physical skills.

It was again late when we reached my rooms following the banquet but that does not mean that we restrained ourselves. Now that we had…been intimate it seemed that we could not do without each other again. I had Dani in my arms the moment the door was closed behind her and I can't even remember how we made it to the bed. Oh yes, I do now. We didn't make it to the bed for quite a while and then only when Dani convinced me that a Lady should not sleep on the floor under a table where we had rolled without noticing, more importantly, that we would be much more comfortable propped up by the abundant feather pillows and mattress.

Our movement to the bed woke us a little and gave us an opportunity to discuss the day. I expressed my pride in her and in all our family for our various victories throughout the day as well as mixed feelings of sadness to be losing D'rs but happiness for her. Dani agreed with me that she was sad to lose D'rs who had been a mentor and later friend and on whom Dani still expected to rely for years to come. But since D'rs's "man friend" as Dani put it, the entire subject being news to me, lived in the nearest village, Dani had no doubt we had not seen the last of our honored servant and friend.

She revealed various observations of many of the guests gleaned from interactions with their servants, all of which were quite perceptive and fair in my opinion. She reported that Riley was a perfectly accomplished and respectable young man who had been quite helpful in running his father's Estate since the taking of his marks. In truth, she had quite favorable impressions of all attending our event.

The next morning we were again out of bed long before we would have loved to stay. The competitions concluded with Stefan and Faith each taking another win with their shooting at moving targets and Dani championing the Chest tournament. The final game, between Dani and Lord Lefleur was quite an event as they bent over the board in concentration. When he had knocked over his King to show his surrender, Lord Lefleur had bowed to Dani in her victory. While many only viewed the physical competitions as being important, Dani's win was quite a feat and one which in which the Maclay Estate could take much honor. Lord Lefleur later joked to me that his family was well known for their mental acuity, particularly at games of strategy and that perhaps Dani would be better suited on his Estate than ours. I laughed off his teasing for the compliment that it was for my girl. His coveting her, even in jest, showed her great value and prestige but nothing could make me value her more than our love.

In the afternoon, the villagers and more than a few visitors from other villages began to arrive. The south field was set up as a fair and fete and many of them came toting their wares for sale or trade. We were quite proud to boast the fine products of our nearby citizens and felt quite sure that the visiting nobles would spend their riches eagerly. Rather than a formal receiving line, my family would spend the afternoon circulating and visiting the stalls and social areas of the event. Three temporary taverns had been set up with complimentary ale, wine, and food for our visitors and these saw very good foot traffic throughout the day. Two of these ran music for those who wished to dance and this was a frequent pastime.

Our villagers, of course, recognized those of our Estate and paid their respects quite nicely. Some choose to bow in recognition of my honor while others shook hands or nodded their heads. All customs were perfectly acceptable and I enjoyed the afternoon quite well.

Anne and Dawn spent the first half of the afternoon at the letters booth. Many of our people, while skilled at their crafts, did not know how to read or write. These brought with them letters from friends or relatives, requests to write responses from the same, or even requests for agreements they would like written. Dawn was chosen because it was a good opportunity for her to practice her own skills and Anne because I felt that she needed to learn to interact with people from all stations rather than just her own. I did note that Master Finn seemed to be loitering around the booth quite a bit and stopped by to suggest that he might assist the Anne and Dawn as the line had grown quite longish. He was quite gallant if a bit overdramatic in his declaration that he would do what he could for as long as the wait continued. Oh, he and Anne would be perfect together…

The second half of the afternoon saw Donnie and our great-cousin from Lord Martin's family, a four-mark girl named M'lissa, whom I had seen dancing with Donnie more than the other girls, fulfilling the position at the booth. It was quite easy to see that when they had no customers, they were involved in long discussion and noticed only each other. I felt a slight pang of guilt for my own reservations in finding an acceptable match. Donnie's wife would only become Lady Maclay if I were to vacate my title before their marriage. Still, our Estate was held in very high esteem and I could not imagine a girl refusing his offer based on her not becoming Lady Maclay. Given that I possessed neither wish to marry nor to vacate my title, my guilt did not last long or strike deep.

I believe I met every guest that afternoon and my arm verily ached by the end of the day for holding my mark in front of me so consistently. I found Xander toward the middle of the afternoon, staffing a booth with lovely carved items such as the one he had given me and greeted him warmly as well as loudly praising the workmanship of his pieces and the true sound of the whistle. He made me laugh with cute tale of one of his canes and asked that I wait while he went to find his father who he said had gone to one of the taverns for a pint. Dale happened to be standing by and offered to man the stall while we went to find the young man's father. Xander gladly took the offer and conferred with his replacement for a moment on prices before we set off in search of the older man. When we found him, Xander introduced us with great respect on both sides explaining that his father was the master carpenter and that Xander was a mere apprentice in comparison. I answered that Harris must be quite a craftsman indeed if his skill was so superior to that of the man who had made the whistle as well as supervising the stables. I could see that Xander felt proud but he was humble at my compliment as well.

By dusk, most vendors had abandoned their stalls – their pockets weighed down with coins I had to imagine for our other guests had been quite eager to shop – and entered the feasts. We fed the villagers no less lavishly nor generously than we had our other guests for the past two days. The festival went on and on with many of the villagers spending the night in the tents Xander's crew had erected for the purpose.

By the time Dani and I retired that night, we were both barely able to keep our feet to make it to the bed nor our eyes open. I think I might have been partially asleep when she eased my feet from my boots and I'm embarrassed to say that I was too tired to help her undress at all. I remember stirring only long enough to pull her close to me, kissing her over and over as I mumbled my sleepy "I love yous."

Part 10

We were lovers then. Dani and I.

The guests all left the next day, early unless they had further business to attend to. While our celebration had been a grand success, it was widely acknowledged (although not mentioned) that our Estate needed some peace and privacy to recover from hosting such an event and our guests were gracious in leaving early to give us our recovery.

Our lives returned to "normal" immediately and we all resumed our duties or, in the case of myself and Dani, assumed new ones. Donnie returned to traveling on Estate business and was gone for periods of two to three weeks at a time even more so than before my marking. We missed him but he was making good connections on our behalf. He met many eligible noble women and told us of the fun he had dancing or riding with them but we could not detect a special interest in any but M'lissa and his descriptions of her were quite restrained as well. Although Faith occasionally attempted to tease him for his interest and intentions and me over whether I would vacate my title for his future wife, we simply teased her back but did not discuss the topic seriously. My brother, certainly, never broached the topic with me and I was quite happy to leave it so.

Having been released from her studies, Faith took over game stewardship of the entire Estate. Perhaps the appointment was a bit premature but she carried out her responsibilities very well and never disappointed us. She didn't stray far although she and Dawn would camp overnight from time to time.

Anne was the only one of us children still in study with tutors. Melanie carried ambitions that she might become a Barrister. I can't say that I shared her hope but it allowed Anne a higher level of education than she previously pursued. More importantly, it kept her from loitering about my rooms all day asking me what I thought of this dress or another or what I thought of Riley. Wasn't he the smartest? The funniest? The strongest? The most manly man? I hadn't noticed that he was particularly smart or funny and quite honestly, I had recently concluded that being a manly man would surely count at least two strikes against any potential mate.

I, of course, had eyes only for Dani. While I fully expected to have pressure at some point over my taking a high-born husband, I chose not to dwell on such concerns. I was in love and couldn't be bothered with interruptions of the sort. Was in love? I am in love. And at the time I believed her to be equally enthralled with me. The words she never spoke – in fact to this day, has never uttered them. I could have questioned her. Asked if she loved me but she would have said yes or given some other sideways answer. Or…kissed my neck in that spot that she knew would weaken my knees and make me forget such inane doubts. So I quickly learned to avoid questions like that.

Lying awake in bed every once in a while I would convince myself that the true answer to that question could be found in actions rather than words. And her actions, once I initiated our intimacy, were always passionate, committed, and enthusiastic. She was never reserved, never reticent to love or be loved. Again I get ahead of myself in this tale for my doubts, my realizations come only later.

I mean to describe this next period of our life-a period when Dani and I were learning and settling into our relationship in every way. It was quite like I have always imagined the period after marriage would be. When possible many couples take a wedding trip for isolation and freedom from their cares and responsibilities. We took no such trip but the next half a year was very like I imagine that wedding trip would be. Our days were full with the business of the Estate and surrounding villages but our nights were full with each other. To others our relationship must have seemed a usual, if exceedingly close, bound relationship. Dani was absolutely indispensable to me in every way and I told her so constantly. And I don't mean to imply that we worked all the time. We took many romantic breaks. Long rides became picnics and picnics became a private pleasure for us. We camped overnight, inventing small reasons or just because we felt like it. When I needed to stay in the village fulfilling my responsibilities, Dani was as likely as not to come with me and we um…initiated an array of beds in an array of taverns before returning to our Estate.

I began to have artistry commissions and T'dre was happy for the relief. She had long complained of pains in her hip when she rode long distances and she was glad to have an apprentice to perform some of her duties. That term, apprentice, we only used between ourselves. To others, I was a fully-educated, commissioned artist. But we knew that I still had much to learn from her and I continued to study with her and consult on every design I was to artist. Between my mark-taking and Anne and Faith's six months hence, I performed four pairs of marks as well as a wedding binding and Doris's (now called Ursula) freed-servant bond. For some of these trips Dani accompanied me and for others she did not. While I always wanted my girl with me, sometimes the needs of our Estate dictated that she stay at home while I traveled. Once Dawn traveled with me and once Delia.

I'll say this for Delia. She made me appreciate Anne. If I thought Anne's inane ramblings about Riley's manly manliness irritating, Delia made me dizzy and slightly nauseous with her fixation on striking noble and non-noble men. If I never hear another word of who is well-built or who she bets "really knows his stuff…" that will be quite soon enough.

My payments from artisting I could do with what I chose as they were not expected to be returned to the Estate coffers. While it was necessary that I be paid for my work in order to further strengthen the bindings, we had no need for extra cash. I squandered what I could on gifts for those I loved, Dani being chief of course, or food for children I met in the villages. If I happened to return to the castle with coins in my purse, I handed them to Dani with instructions that I wanted no further mention of them.

Our social calendar, while not full, was more lively than it had been in the past. A few times we went to see a traveling performance in town even though the companies generally came to the Estate as well. And we were all invited to an increasing number of balls and gaming parties. There happened to be a great number of nobles our age within a half-day ride and most Estates were eager to show off their hosting skills as well as further social connections. These events were a very good opportunity for young nobles to organize, direct, and execute large gatherings in relatively low-pressure situations. The older generation was conspicuously absent, leaving greater freedom. I was nearly always the only five mark attendee and Dani the only five-mark servant. Sometimes we (Anne, Delia, Faith, Dawn, Donnie, Dale, myself, and Dani or any combination) spent the night at the gathering and others times we rode home, arriving in the dark of night or at daybreak.

So many nights we lay in bed as I praised Dani's beauty and grace and let her know how I would have rather danced with her than any of my night's partners and she agreed to the sentiment. And I put my words in writing, drawing pictures of my love or writing her tender poems and then stowing the scrolls in the pockets of her britches or the toes of her boots for her to find as she dressed. I loved to pretend I wasn't watching her as she found the notes. Each time she got a slow smile as she found the scrap of paper, glanced at it and then hid it quickly in a pocket or concealed it in her hand. Feeling bold, I would slide a drawing of her as she had looked the night before (drawn from memory of course) under her wine goblet and watch the blush spread quickly across her cheeks as she snatched the note to stuff it into her lap. Not infrequently she looked for ways to cause a similar response in me and then leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Are you ok, My Lady?" or "Is it something you ate, My Lady?" The last always serving to make my cheeks burn an even brighter shade. It wasn't that she failed to address me with proper respect. It was more as if she were alluding to our relationship in my chambers – relationship in which I was hardly her Lady and she hardly my servant.

Which is not to say that we showed no respect to each other in private. My girl's bowing down to me, which formerly seemed so foreign, was now an inside joke between us. She would give me a sly grin and then whisper that she intended to bow down to me and sinking down to her knees, she would do just that. And our joke was far from one sided. I would tease that I wanted to return the habit or that to me she was my one and only Lady and I the servant of her wishes. And although she initially seemed uncomfortable with my attentions in just that position, she quickly discarded all protests as her hands would clutch at the back of my head or my shoulders and she would eventually cry out my name and quiver with pleasure.

For some while,I thought that Dani had taken up my habit of writing these love notes. I saw in her hand a quill and scroll and she would tuck it away when I came around the corner or from the necessary. And she was forever wiping her fingertips on the cloths we kept around for such a purpose. But no notes arrived and I was first curious and then amused and finally exasperated, thinking she was teasing me. I dropped hints and teased her in return and still no notes appeared in the toes of my new boots nor under my pillow at night. And the more I teased her the more uncomfortable she seemed until I almost wanted to ask her directly what was the meaning of her subterfuge.

After about two weeks of this, my youngest sister came to my rooms one day and requested an audience. I laughed at her formality but invited her in immediately and pointed to a chair. Rather she said that she preferred to stand and proceeded to pace. I had no idea where the conversation was going as she inexplicably referred to Dani's position. "Your servant can not refuse you anything, Lady Tara."

I was nothing if not the diplomat and had no wish for our secrets to be held by any but ourselves. "Yes, Faith. That is the meaning of a mark-bound servant. Yours will be bound as well in a few months." I stepped toward my desk to idly flip through the papers there. "Did you come to remind me of the meaning of a mark-binding?"

Faith began to pace faster as she took a deep breath. "I have not meant to offend you. I…Dani is helping me with a project and…she says that…um…well…your questions make it harder and harder for her keep our project a secret."

They had a secret project? "Dani knows as do you that she should have no secrets from her Mistress." I instantly regretted my words. Even Anne would have detected my petty jealousy. And I was not dealing with Anne.

Faith stopped pacing and fixed me with a long look which I couldn't identify. It could have been confusion or pity or even anger but she quickly retracted it and became impassive. She took a few steps and dropped to one knee in front of me before speaking. "You and your servant are a perfect match in every way." She stood and shocked me as she gently ran her fingertip along my jaw. She again spoke haltingly. "I…Dani is a much greater writer than I." She blew out through her nose and when she began to speak again actually blushed as I never knew my sister capable. "I don't think that Master Stefan would be terribly impressed with my…pathetic notes."

Only my love and respect for my sister kept me from laughing out loud. "Dani is helping you…write to Master Stefan? Finn?"

Faith pursed her lips. "Yes. Master Stefan Finn." She began to pace again. "I know that he only has two marks but he's…he's not a stuffed shirt like his cousin or like most of the noble men. He…he genuinely enjoys riding, hunting, even dancing." She looked at me imploringly. "And I think he genuinely likes me."

I strode across the room and embraced her, kissing her cheeks. "How could he not, my babiest of baby sisters? I couldn't care over his two marks and can't see why you should either. He seems a kind and genuine man and his grandmother was a magic user…although…"

"Although?"

I smiled that Faith had taken my teasing. "You aren't a complete ignoramus. I would think he would like a note from you rather than from Dani once in a while."

Faith laughed. "She's just augmenting my efforts." She lightly punched me in the shoulder. "You should be easier on her with all your suspicions. She's been hurting over keeping this from you."

I stiffened at this repeated criticism of my behavior toward my girl. "Dani has been hurting because you enlisted her in your dishonesty rather than coming to me first."

Faith bowed neatly. "I meant no disrespect, Lady Tara. I only meant to relieve your concerns."

I shook my head, amazed at how I had lost my composure so easily. "You are right, Faith. Dani deserves more trust from me and I will endeavor to do so more readily in future." I waved my hand toward the door, dismissing my sister who looked as if she wished to say something further but did not.

For a few minutes I stood in the center of my room attempting to understand the depth of my emotion. Jealousy like this, being unsure of my girl…It was far from acceptable and I simply had to take control of my emotions. I left word with D'elam that I would not be at dinner and easily slipped past the rest of the staff and family. I walked a long time in the gardens before coming to a spot which was one of my favorites for meditation and took a seat under the widest tree.

It was long gone dark when I felt Dani's energy enter the space but she took a seat and began to meditate as well, not interrupting me. When I finally looked up at her I didn't know what to say. "I brought your dinner to our rooms, My Lady."

"Thank you, D'ni." I reached out to take her hand and pulled myself up onto my knees and closer to her. My hand was shaking as I ran my fingertips through the ends of her hair. "I…I have no power over my emotions where you are concerned."

Dani took my hand and gently kissed the palm. "What do you fear, Tara?"

I tried to look away but she held my chin steady. "I don't know what I would do if…" I felt exasperated at my inability to speak my truth. "I want to be your only…your always…"

She scrunched up her face slightly as if puzzling over my words. Then lifted my hand to her lips again. "You are My Lady." She began to place feather-light kisses on my fingertips before moving to my palm and wrist. As I lay back, I pulled her with me and we stayed there in that garden for a long wonderful time. One of us cast a spell to let us know if anyone came close and we were not disturbed. Much later she teased, "If I had known you were so hungry, perhaps I would have brought your dinner to the garden." She giggled and I joined her before fixing her with a playfully admonishing gaze.

"Your language! Do you eat with that mouth?" I feigned outrage as I placed my open hand over my heart in a gesture reminiscent of one T'solde often enacted when dealing with Dawn or Faith.

"Let me show you," she answered, no less risqué and then…

It was quite late when we returned to my rooms to finally eat that dinner but the time in the garden was well spent indeed.

I would love to say that I continued to mediate on my emotions and that with Dani's continued comfort, allaying my doubts daily (and nightly) I soon found this jealousy to be a thing of the past. And I could say that.

But it would not be true.

When we attended dances, I found myself on edge throughout for fear that a five-mark man would arrive and the rights he would have over my girl. And I couldn't even directly admit to myself that the marks- rights would only help a man who wanted Dani in spite of her original inclination. If she saw someone she felt an interest in, noble or servant, free or bound, no marks-rights would have been necessary. I might turn my back to dance and turn back to her absence. I told myself that this would not happen and attempted to be more enlightened-that if it did happen, this would be ok. And Dani spent countless hours attempting to reassure me that she had no interest in such activities and that our passion was all she could ever imagine. But my girl was so beautiful, so elegant, my pride and joy. And there was no doubting that some noble man would see her and want her and…With his marks it would not matter what her interests might be. His wishes would be hers and my world would crash down around my shoulders.

The more I thought of these fears, the worse I slept. I woke in the night in a dead panic, casting my hands about for the warmth of my love's sleeping body. And my love woke to hold me and pet my hair and whisper that she was mine and mine alone. But I never wanted to share her and I wanted that to be acceptable in our world.

After our Autumn harvest my fears increased and almost reached obsession proportions. Invitations to Anne and Faith's celebration were not sent out so early as had been mine but this double-marking within a family so well respected as ours was still to be a grand event. I had assigned Anne responsibility of issuing invitations and tracking responses. She felt it necessary to run down the hall and knock at my doors with each and every affirmative which was as irritating as most of her visits but at least it gave me an ongoing report on the celebration. By early December we knew that the Finn Estate would be attending in their grand splendor as well as the LeFleur and Martin estates. The LeFleurs would be bringing their three sons (one marked as of yet) who had stayed at home with various excuses this summer and the Finns no doubt would turn out official dog-washers and shoe polishers for the chance to show off Riley's prospects. Many of the more senior Lords and Ladies would be staying home, sending younger members of the Estate instead and it indicated even more strongly how well attended my celebration had been.

Still, the prospect of even four five-mark nobles (including my father and Lord Martin who my father claimed would never be a claimant) made me feel as if ice water flowed in my veins. Lord LeFleur had been quite impressed with my girl at the Chest tournament and Lord Finn was well known to enjoy company at gatherings such as these. In defiance of my rank, my mark, and my commitment to my artistry I wanted nothing more than to stand in front of my girl and pronounce her mine and not for anyone else to touch.

Futile fantasies aside, one particular response to the invitation brought me a glimmer of hope. Steward Giles sent by speed messenger a short note to Anne declining her invitation and a much longer letter to my father and I informing us of our grand cousin's further declining health.

Less than two weeks before Anne and Faith were to take marks, I scheduled an interview with my father. Technically and strictly that request was not required as my rank equaled my father's. Many would have openly admitted that my rank actually exceeded his given my magic but he was my father and I continued to afford him the respect he deserved in that role as well as being Lord of the Estate. Once we had completed our formalities of greeting and having a pot of tea and biscuits, we gave D'ni and D'rek their leave. We discussed the situation on Maclay East as we had determined to call the struggling Estate and the prospects. My father expressed concern but stated that he had not come up with a plan for the reformation of the Estate at the present. When I proposed personally moving to that Estate and bringing it up to our standards, he masked his surprise but sat quietly for a good ten minutes. I knew my father well enough to know that he was a man who would rather sit and think than speak prematurely and that he was evaluating the suggestion from every angle.

He stood and paced for a few additional minutes before returning to the table. When he spoke he did so very carefully and slowly. "You would leave your home and family and attempt to reform this other Estate?"

"Yes, My Lord."

"For how long? When would you return?"

"At your will, Lord."

He stood again and nodded as he thought of this. "It is quite a commitment you propose, Lady Tara. This project could take two to three summers at least, perhaps as long as five or ten. You will miss out on much fun and gaiety as it is quite far from most of our fine neighbors. Society in that area is quite sparse."

I had certainly thought of this possibility. Quite obviously, this societal isolation was, if not my chief reason, one of my major purposes in the proposal. "I would be willing to make that sacrifice for the sake of our overall Estate, My Lord."

He nodded a few times. "Let us discuss this further then."

And discuss we did. Hours passed as D'rek and D'ni brought us a mid- morning snack, then our noon meal, and then joined us in our planning and discussions. It was nearly dinner time when my father declared that we all needed some recreation. We went riding then, with much of our plan in place.

Dani and I would leave, taking with us a small portion of the Estate staff, within a week of the coming mark-binding celebration. Anne bemoaned our leaving both because she would miss us and because she claimed that her "heart literally hurts, literally" for us to miss out on such grand society. Maclay East was, as both father and Anne pointed out, quite isolated from society. I wanted to dance on the tables each time someone mentioned how many balls and parties we would miss out on. I found myself smiling and humming to myself as I roamed the castle for the next week thinking of the freedom I would feel once myself and, more importantly, my girl were away from potential mates.

Part 11
Anne, Faith, Delia, and Dawn's Marks and the Celebration Thereof

While my sisters's marking ceremonies are less pivotal to my story, I remember them much better than my own. On the morning of the marking, Faith and Anne met the remainder of the family for breakfast in the great room. T'solde chose to remain on her Estate now that we had a sitting Lady on our own. The twins's mood was quite excited although they seemed nervous about the ceremony itself. Tadre and I had met with them privately earlier in the week to describe the procedure and answer questions and concerns. Both had asked about the pain, the herbs, how long the procedure would take, and whether they would feel any difference. We had answered their questions as well as describing the possible sensation of missing something during the fortnight before their servants were bound. I had felt no such sensation but then my yearning for Dani was always intense and constant and this by no means had dissipated following my marking so maybe I just assumed it was the normal.

Breakfast was an enthusiastic and celebratory event. Faith and Donnie entertained us all by playing a game of catch with rolls, moving farther and farther down the hallway until we could see neither of them. On a usual day either myself or Melanie would have stopped them but this day we let it go and laughed along with the rest of the family. Not wanting to be undone, Anne jumped up and ran to the piano to accompany them with a quite ribald song about the considerable skills of various nobles. It wasn't one that I had heard before although she had a special gift for these type of compositions and in deference to Father and Melanie's presence, not to mention Tadre, I feel confident she skipped some of the particularly risqué lines. We all found her specific references humorous, in particular Dani, Delia, Dawn, and Delam.

Following breakfast T'dre, Anne, Faith, and I went to the creek for our ritual bathing and supplication. Both of my sisters were sufficiently devout and committed to the sanctity of the day and in fact, took longer in their solo devotion than I expected. T'dre and I made a joint offering that our artistry would be strong and pure. Then we four dressed and approached the tent, reaching it at exactly noon by the sundial near the tent.

Waiting for us was a much larger crowd than had been present for my marking ceremony. I smiled at my love who stood to the side with T'dre's girl, L'lla. Near them stood Dawn, Delia, and Gael. Directly in front of the tent entrance were my father, Melanie, and Donnie. I joined the marked members of my family as Delia, Dawn, T'dre, and Gael went into the tent to wait for us. We all kissed and hugged my sisters before leading them into the tent. I handed T'dre a gold coin, then crossed to stand next to her as my father handed me the same. My family gave best wishes and departed and D'ni and L'lla entered. Once Gael had given my sisters the numbing salve and a draught each of the herb, he left. We let our servants know that should we need them we would call for them and D'ni and L'lla left. We had discussed having one of them stay in the tent but with T'dre and I; Faith and Anne; and Dawn and Delia in the tent, it was quite crowded.

The twins were quite sufficiently medicated to have little pain and T'dre and I hummed a spell as we worked. It was our first experience with a double-marking and I quite enjoyed the experience. In the past, we had always traded off working together but had never actually worked at the same time on different people. Interestingly, it seemed that our spells built on each other so that each was stronger than it would have been by itself. We traded off frequently so that each of us worked equally on each of my sisters and I enjoyed the partnership so that much that I found myself wishing Dani had this gift so that we could share our magic in this way. Of course, had she this gift, we would not have been able to train her so it was an idle wish. If you wonder of the comparable complexity and elaboration of our marks, I do not know how long my marks took to complete but Dani's took over 3 and a half hours. We finished Anne and Faith's marks in just under an hour and a half, checking carefully each other's work and offering our supplication in prayer at the completion of the project once again.

We gave careful instructions to Dawn and Delia and released them to take the girls back to their rooms. Dani and Lalla followed them to ensure that they understood the instructions and could settle their charges comfortably. T'dre and I completed our documentation of the marks which she gave me as Lady of our estate and then she and I discussed our procedures for a few minutes before both retiring to our rooms for a rest following our powerful magic. I stopped to visit with Gael regarding his applications of further herbs for the girls and finding his answers acceptable, returned to my rooms to lie down. Once there I found myself buzzing too much from the powerful magic and excitement of my sisters's double marking ceremony to sleep.

I had been in my rooms only a few minutes when Dani joined me, bringing with her a tray of fruit and some tea. She told me that she hadn't expected me to be able to sleep and felt that I would appreciate a snack which I assured her I did. Quite predictably, when we had finished our snack, I convinced my girl that I could rest much more peacefully with her help and again quite predictably, we did very little resting. I did feel more relaxed though. I felt guilty for having to leave the bed to check on my sisters throughout the afternoon but they rested well and seemed in very little pain.

Dawn and Delia were doing fine jobs in caring for their future Mistresses and I praised both of them their efforts. The dinner table that night was somewhat quieter and calmer than we were used with four of our diners absent but my father, Melanie, and I assured ourselves and each other that the girls were in relative comfort.

In the morning we repeated the ritual from my marking with myself, T'dre, and Gael visiting my sisters first to inspect the marks and give them further herbs. T'dre and I offered a sincere prayer for the power and purity of the marks and evaluated the radiating magic for the five successful aspects. My father, Melanie, and Donnie joined us and my sisters' marks were revealed to our great joy. Some ungenerous corner of my heart thinks that Anne was a little too joyful at seeing my father and I and even Melanie and Donnie (with their four marks each) bow down to them as the marks were revealed but I can forgive her a weakness of vanity as I do love her with all my heart. The formal addresses were multiplied for the double marking and our full titles took a while to exchange but very quickly we all hugged and kissed each other with joy and pride. From then on my sisters were quite busy with visits from Dawn, Delia, Dani, Delam, and every other member of the household. I had drawn for each of them an intricate drawing which showed their profiles but interlaced them in such a way that only by looking from one angle or another could the viewer clearly see one of them. I had commissioned Xander to make a fine frame for each piece and he refused payment, swearing that it could be his gift to them if I did not mind. In this, my girl's friend continued to show his honor and generosity. Dani spent much of the day directing visits to their rooms to show the hierarchy of the nobility and servants of the house, a responsibility which I assume Delam must have performed for my marking and of which I was unaware until that day.

Again, in deference to the length of my tale, I will move more quickly. My sisters' marks healed wonderfully and they were in their usual spirits over the fortnight. Faith and Dawn and Anne and Delia both embarked on journeys although Faith and Dawn looked more like they sought a big-game adventure and Delia and Anne looked as they would ride over the nearest rise and set up tents fit for a queen to drink tea with their pinkies raised for the next day. Their return was uneventful and all four bathed in the creek to purify themselves for the ceremony.

And of course the crowd for this double marking was even larger than the one before. Delia's father attended although I had to wonder if he merely desired the rich meal and drink we gave him before his departure. I had found him, each time we met, thoroughly lower class and disagreeable and was happy to see him leave late that afternoon. Dawn I felt badly for. She had come to me earlier this week to ask if I would be willing to "give" her to Faith. Her request was an honor and I was sad to have to tell her that as a member of the Estate, I would not be eligible to do so, nor would Melanie. Even T'solde would not be able to do the honor. The dark-haired girl was quite composed and respectful in her acceptance of this answer but I could see how sad and a little scared she was to be entering the marking by herself. I had thought as she left the room how she rarely seemed her fourteen summers but that day she had seemed no older. The size of the group notwithstanding, all pledges and commitments were given smoothly and clearly. Dawn was proud and clearly devoted to Faith and Delia was, if anything, too proud to be devoted to Anne. A wonderful pair they made.

As we had done for their Mistresses, T'dre and I traded off frequently so that each of us had an equal opportunity to work on Delia and Dawn. With no herbs, their markings of course hurt them but they handled the hour and a half (14 anchors each) with dignity and my sisters did a fine job of comforting their servants. D'rek and D'le ferried the girls back to their rooms although in this case, I would have been able to magically take them back had we not had the available and qualified servants. The next day we witnessed their marks, praised them, and gave them abundant gifts. For Dawn, hunting supplies and a fine horse and saddle made up her majority while Delia received countless gowns and similar "indoor" items.

Throughout this period and right up until the celebration, Dani pursued dual tasks. With help from Melanie, Anne, and Faith as well as the servants thereof, we administered the celebratory preparations. With every free moment from that planning, we organized our upcoming move to Maclay East. Frequently we met with my father to ask questions and determine the best approach to this move. While Dani had seemed shocked at the idea initially, she had warmed to it quite thoroughly. I believe that she saw it as an opportunity to prove her skills even more forcefully than we had previously observed them. She agreed that it was an excellent opportunity for both of us and had shyly confessed to me in the privacy of our rooms that she would miss the social festivities no more than would I. She went so far as to whisper that she could think of no greater desire than my constant company and I allowed myself to hope…

At my father's urging we carefully planned our expedition including the staff we would take with us. We offered all staff the opportunity to go with our group and then carefully decided whom should be deployed so. Dani and Delam spent hours and hours in consultation to determine the staff members that should best compliment our certain needs while leaving Maclay Main (as we had begun to call our Estate) in no worse shape. I had urged Dani that D'Shel was more than welcome, fearing my girl would be lonely so far from our family and not a little desiring her sauces for our own kitchen, but Dani admitted to feeling quite accustomed to the thought of so much independence. She was sleeping less and less these days and I found her speaking more and more excitedly about the adventure she craved.

I don't remember who initially suggested the addition to our party but Faith and Dawn were scheduled to accompany us. It was unclear how long they would stay, perhaps a month or more, but their help would no doubt be invaluable. After consulting with Faith I had also commissioned Master Stefan for our project. He was, while quite skilled, somewhat extraneous at the Finn Estate and was considering joining military service but did not wish to be bound to the deployment whims of the administration. I, however, quite needed a game steward and his military fitness would come in helpful if we encountered any vagrancy or resistance along our way. His servant, Caleb, I did not rightly remember as making an impression at my celebration but Dani reported that he was loyal and strong even if his mental acuity lacked a certain…presence as she put it.

Finally, Xander had determined to accompany us. I do not know for sure whether he instigated the idea or whether Dani asked him but when they came to explain the reasoning behind his commitment, the rationale was quite strong. We were certain to need his carpentry skills and Stewart Giles confirmed that the village had only a semi-skilled man in the field. This move would, quite similar to Dani and myself, give the young man opportunity to excel on his own rather than in his father's shadow. Included in the list of reasons he should come were that he could juggle and play a fiddle and just to tease him, I asked him to demonstrate but my mind was already favorably decided.

In spite of our excitement over our move, we had to focus on my sisters's celebration. This time I shared duties with my father and Melanie to greet each visitor. Anne had done a serviceable job of assigning rooms, requiring only a few shuffles by myself or our father. She was helped by the fact that fewer nobles were attending: only 71 of the rooms would be full rather than the 103 at my celebration.

The Finn Estate was, of course, the first to arrive and with Faith and Anne sequestered, Riley seemed quite everywhere. He was perfectly respectable and noble but each interaction I had with him made me long my days at Maclay East – far from anyone approaching my station and suitors of any sort. Stefan joined myself and Dani in finalizing our plans for departure a week later.

My father and I presented Anne and Delia, Faith and Dawn much as my presentation had been completed but without a display of magic. Our receiving line of Father, D'rek, myself, D'ni, A'ne, D'lia, F'th, and D'wn was greeted first by T'solde and last by the servants of our own house. The food was exquisite, music perfectly paced, and order of dancing strictly observed.

I…

How do I say this?

I was not fair. I kept Dani more busy than she should have been, barely allowing her to take a bite of her dinner. I sent another servant with a plate to our rooms so that my girl would later have something to eat. I invented reason after reason to keep my girl from being in the room with Lord LeFleur, Lord Finn, and even Lord Martin. I need a wrap. She needed a wrap. Please check the deserts. Please check the weather. Please confirm the condition of the horses. Her return was slow enough that I felt she understood my intent and purposely dawdled. LeFleur and Finn both asked where she was when dancing with me under the pretext of admiring her beauty, intelligence, and skill but I suspected their motives and it turned my stomach. Finally they both chose other partners for the evening and I allowed Dani to stay in the room a bit longer to dance with the Masters Stefan and Donnie and a few other lower-ranked men.

And my machinations could hardly be criticized. My girl was radiant. Perhaps more radiant than at our celebration. She danced like musical perfection and her every move was fluidity in motion. Every time she passed me, I was compelled to reach out my hand and brush it against her hip or back and my heart speeded up with every touch. We left the ballroom after staying an appropriate amount of time and barely had the door shut before she was in my arms. She laughed at the enormous plate of food and we…I fed her many tasty morsels. D'shel's famous sauces we put to particularly good use.

She slept deeply but I had more trouble falling into slumber. Something I could not identify tickled at the back of my mind but each time I thought I might ensnare the thought, it ran away again. I believe it was more morning than night when I finally dozed and in my dreams I held tighter and tighter to my love but when she turned to face me her countenance was reminiscent of the drawing I had made of my sisters: one face was happy and loving while the other was pained and crestfallen.

Our competitions turned out similarly over the day and a half. Faith and Stefan again took most riding and hunting championships and Dani triumphed in Chest, this time beating the oldest Master LeFleur, older than his sister by less than a Summer I guessed. Due to the drawing of the competition brackets, she defeated Lord LeFleur to reach the final game while Master LeFleur defeated yours truly quite handily to do the same.

That night I barely allowed Dani to get her breath so busy was I keeping her from the ballroom. I even sent her into town to pick up a completely unnecessary serving bowl allowing me a few hours free of my worries. When I feared that I could not keep her away from potential partners any longer again I feel ashamed to admit this…I…A large chocolate trifle somehow overturned on Lord LeFleur and Lord Finn strangely twisted his ankle while dancing. I was cruel and this does not show well on my hosting. I only wish this were the worst of my sins of that period.

The next morning she lay on my chest and placed kiss after kiss on my neck in a way that made me muddleheaded as she teased me for my propensity to send her on ridiculous errands. "You did not feel the serving dish was necessary?" I teased through my haze.

Dani giggled. "No more necessary than any other excuse for avoiding the Lords LeFleur and Finn."

"What about Lord Martin?" Dani laughed again, quite more boisterously, and then whispered in my ear a few bits of information about my uncle which quite put my concerns for his interests at ease.

My next whisperings were no less risqué and the next hour or two passed quickly before we found we had to rise for the final day of the celebration.

At the villager celebration we introduced Xander and Stefan who got along famously in spite of the difference in their stations. I formally approached Mr. Harris regarding Xander's disposition and the man was greatly supportive of his son's chances. He did pull me aside to confess that he truly did not have the coin to spare his son a stake in the new village and seemed quite crestfallen to admit such. I assured him that we would see to it that Xander had the opportunities he deserved.

I was happy to see both of my sisters engaged so happily with their respective suitors. Riley was like a bull jealously staking his territory to let all others know that he would have Anne's hand in marriage soon enough. Stefan's approach was more relaxed and it seemed that he and Faith were quite a pair. My youngest sister told me in confidence that while they had not settled an engagement, he was determined that they not embarrass themselves with a premature arrival. Of course, in this she had quite more freedom than him for she could only profit by delivering a magic user within or without marriage while he would be quite ruined to do so outside of marriage. Donnie and Melissa were the most restrained young couple in our group and I could not tell that they felt great passion for each other although they seemed very companionable. My father and Melanie were pleased with all three matches and told me so. I noticed that they did not mention a match for me and felt even more pleased with that. Presumably they felt I should concentrate on Maclay East but I've wondered for many months just what they knew and just when they knew it regarding my relationship with Dani.

In all, the preparations for both the celebration and the move were complete. The guests left, excepting Stefan and Caleb, well impressed with the Maclay name and we took a few days to rest before beginning the next adventure of our young lives.

Part 12
Our First Great Adventure

After our guests departed, we allowed everyone a few days to simply recover from the latest gathering. Xander's crew came to disassemble the stables, taking the considerable lumber with them for reuse and he spent few nights at the castle to assist in our planning. Having never ventured farther from his home than our Estate, he was quite excited about the journey and seemed to be constantly asking questions of Dani, Faith, and Stefan. Dani and he had been fast friends for so long that anyone could see their affection and I believe that Faith, Stefan, and I were growing to love his sense of wonder and adventure. He seemed quite open to any suggestion made him.

The day before our departure was quite filled with our packing everything that could be packed in advance. Faith and I had significantly pared down our wardrobes and books to save the transportation and still it seemed we had more trunks than we could have imagined. We could hardly have had more supplies to move an army over the land.

I woke the day of our departure alone and saw that Dani was seated at the table looking out our window. It appeared that she had just finished writing a letter and was affixing my seal, having not her own. She stuck the edge of the letter under the corner of the lamp and continued looking out the window. I quietly rose from the bed and padded across the floor so that I was standing at her side. My girl of course, realized that I was awake and turned her head to look at me and I saw that she was crying. I took her hands in my own and dropped to my knees in front of her, kissing each of her fingers. "What is wrong, my love?"

She smiled a little forlornly and kissed my fingers in turn. "I feel a sense of sadness at leaving our home, Tara."

"Would you rather not leave, my girl? I never want to make you sad." I brushed a long strand of hair behind her ear.

She pulled on my arms so that they wrapped around her waist and she could wrap hers around my shoulders. "This is to be our first great adventure." She smiled at me then and I could see the joy in her eyes just before she leaned down to kiss me. And her kiss was more passionate than I expected. I still felt a little dazed from the kiss as she leaned back and pulled me into her lap.

I pulled my knees up so that they were tucked under my chin and I was leaning on my girl's chest as I wrapped my arms around her neck. "I wonder if you can know how much I love you," I murmured into her soft skin and she giggled and moaned in a way that made me want to forget about all that needed to be done before we left the Estate.

She hugged me tightly and then I felt her shifting beneath me. "Please sit, My Lady."

I skewed up an eyebrow at her as she slid from beneath me to kneel at my feet on the floor. It was a joke between us by now and one in which I was as likely as she, perhaps more so, to take that position and I laughed as I lifted her chin with my fingertip. I grinned cheekily and batted my eyelashes. "I'm not sure we have that much time before we leave, my love."

Dani smiled at my joke and bowed her head again. "I have a request, My Lady."

She was serious although I couldn't imagine what she would need to request so. I would surely grant her anything she desired and always had. "Yes, D'ni." I felt a little silly accepting a formal request from my girl dressed in nothing but the sheerest of tops and, well, nothing else.

"Lady Maclay." So it was to be a very formal request. "Xander is very exuberant and proud." I nodded but did not interrupt her. "But he has not been gifted as we have." Again I nodded. "He has only an eating knife and doesn't know that anyone would travel with more. I fear he will be embarrassed when he realizes we each have a camp kit and he does not." This was certainly true. "I bought him a used camp kit on my last trip to the village but I don't think he will take it from me."

"You would like me to give it to him and tell him that it is my responsibility to provide for all the members of the group or that I found it in the kitchen?"

"Please, My Lady."

I bent down to reach my lover's soft lips and kissed her gently. "You are so generous, my girl. " Later today I would drop a few coins into my girl's purse to pay for the kit.

She leaned up and kissed me in such a way that I no longer thought about her generosity nor the coins and then bounced up onto her toes to twirl away from me. She began to sing as she straightened our bed and pulled our last bag from the closet to finalize our packing. I stood and passed near her on the way to bathe, teasing that with my head under water I would be saved from her voice and she swatted me with a pillow for the insult.

By the time I emerged from our necessary room, my girl had laid out my traveling clothes and packed everything else, save my toiletries. She left a space in the bag so that it was obvious where I should place the brush when I was finished with it and a blue leather tie was on top of my shirt so that I could tie back my hair as I always did when riding.

I quickly dressed and stowed the last of my belongings in the bag, bringing it with me to the dining room. The remainder of the expedition was at the table enjoying a very early breakfast although other members of the family were not present yet. I sat and Dani passed me my breakfast plate. We ate in relative quiet and I think that the others felt nervous over the journey. When we were done eating, I asked the others to pray with me and we all joined hands to ask The Creator to bless our journey with speed, safety, and success. Father and Melanie waited until our prayer was complete before coming in to add their blessings to my own.

We made our way out to the courtyard and I noticed that my father had a small traveling token for each member of our expedition which he managed to give to them personally and individually. His diplomacy was something I could only wish to equal someday.

Those of us who had eaten breakfast together were joined by the three house servants who would be traveling with us as well as Xander who had slept in the room off the stable by his own choosing. Traveling with us would be three young house servants: Briena, Lory, and Merie. Briena was quite the cook in spite of her youth and Lory and Merie had many applicable skills in the house and gardens.

Also traveling with us would be one of the stable boys: William who had earned the unfortunate nickname William the Bloody for his tendency to fall down or walk into things and hurt himself when he was younger. William was, I believe, actually older than my siblings and I while seeming ageless but was feeble of mind. His grandmother had brought him to the Estate when he was still young saying that he couldn't master any true skills so she could not apprentice him out but that he very much loved animals and was there anything he could do on our Estate. This was around the time that we had gotten Hope and Dream and he was hopelessly devoted to both of them as well as to Dani. The rest of us had no idea that he thought to be included in our expedition until two days prior when he had met Dani in the yard with a small bag, packed with his meager belongings, and a dazed and expectant look on his thin face.

A few hours discussion with Father, Dani, Stefan, and myself had determined that the young man was welcome to go with us. He was actually a useful addition to the stables as he followed instructions very well. Years earlier, someone in the stables had been quite frustrated by William's forgetfulness and Dani had come to me with the idea of drawing a series of pictures to remind the boy of all his tasks and the order in which they should be done. It had hung on the wall by his cot ever since and he followed it quite committedly. My only concern about his undertaking the journey was that his grandmother was now quite elderly and her health was failing. I feared that she would pass while we were gone and he would miss her but she had spent the last week at the estate and felt that her passing would be handled ok by him. He was, it's important to note, not a bound servant of the house but a paid stable hand. Nonetheless, we felt protective of him as we did the bound servants on our Estate and would take care of him on and beyond our journey.

Shortly we had amassed in the courtyard for your journey. We had two wagons which carried supplies as well as those members of our expedition who did not ride (the house servants, William, and Xander). The remainder of our party rode or led our eleven fine horses. As we were beginning to get into procession for our departure, Donnie, Dale, and Anne rode up on their own mounts announcing that they would ride with us until late afternoon before turning back for home. It was obvious that they had planned this grand gesture for some time but it was a surprise to me and I felt quite touched.

Finally, and not without more than a few tears from the entire assemblage, we set off in formal processional: myself, Dani, Donnie, Dale, Anne, Faith, Dawn, Stefan, Jonah, and the wagons. I admit myself somewhat naïve enough that Dawn's enthusiastic and passionate departure from D'rek caught me by surprise. Everyone else, Faith included, were nonchalant regarding the display so it was apparently no secret on the Estate.

No one was quite so overjoyed at the presence of our unexpected companions as William. He has long harbored a public and obviously doomed admiration for Anne, following her and her horses around when she was younger. When she was very young, she had been quite embarrassed by his attentions as he would weave daisies into her horse's bridle or even attempt to write her poems expressing his love. By the time her studies formally began, however, she had matured enough to show compassion for the poor creature and she was friendly with him without encouraging his affections.

I would have been just as pleased to see one of my siblings or Stefan leading the procession but as Lady Maclay it was my responsibility and honor to do so. And I'll freely admit that while I held little pride in my position, being mine solely by the order and condition of my birth, I quite reveled in my girl's place a half-horse length behind me. A smile played on my features which none but perhaps she could see at the thought of her superiority.

After perhaps an hour, I tired of my position and began to slow my horse to pull even with Dani. I slowed even further and she and I pulled even with Donnie, signaling to the rest of the group that they could relax the riding order. Donnie accepted the silent offer to lead for sometime and he and Dale pulled in front of us. For the remainder of the morning I moved freely throughout our column, visiting with each member of our group including the two wagon drivers. These men would ride with us to the new Estate, assist us in unloading and then return on one of the wagons, leaving the other with us. Dani, of course, did much the same riding next to the nobility as well as our servants and behind the wagons to visit with those within much of the time. Of course, we spent a sizable portion of the morning riding side by side.

I was as transfixed by my girl as I had been on that journey so many years ago. Her hair seemed to glow in the sunlight. It was tied back with a piece of dyed-green leather I had given her when I realized how the color set off her eyes so I could see the pulse beat in her neck. My fantasies threatened to take my attention from the ride as I savored the thought of how she would wiggle, then moan, then scream as I kissed or sucked that point-her specific response frequently dependent on my other actions.

I halted the group shortly after noon by the position of the sun and we had a small meal of bread, cheese, and sweets from the kitchens. After lunch, I would send Faith and Dawn or perhaps Dani to hunt and we could eat fresh meat for our dinner. Our progress was slowed by the wagons and I wanted to get a good distance behind us before we made camp so a quick lunch was my preference. Accordingly, those of us riding were astride our mounts and the passengers were in their places within a half an hour of stopping. Xander and Stefan had sat close together throughout most of the meal and when we started again, I saw that Jonah had saddled Stefan's second horse and was helping the young carpenter into the saddle.

Xander was, simply put, a marvelous young man and I could see why Dani held such affection for him. His situation was quite a bit more challenged than any of ours but he had a thirst for learning and his humor made him eminently likable. As the girls had unpacked our luncheon, I was able to give him the camp kit with the indication that it was my responsibility to provide such for everyone on the journey. He was grateful and I could not detect any suspicion in his manner.

I took the lead position again for our setting out and this time kept it for fifteen minutes or so before drifting backwards. Donnie and Anne had previously led the procession and now gave Faith the opportunity to do so with Dawn her half-length behind. I moved throughout the group checking in with everyone, visiting, and generally enjoying the bright sun which cut through the crisp cold of Winter. When I moved around to the rear of the wagons, I could see that the Briena and Lory were sleeping while William, in the other wagon was happy to see me. He nodded his head in a reasonable bow and then began saying "Anne coming. Anne coming to our new home." His excitement was very clear and I attempted to explain that she was only with us for the day before Dani arrived. She quickly moved from her horse to sit next to William on the wagon and tied on so that she could remount. I gave her a quick nod to let her know that I appreciated her efforts and moved forward through the line once again.

Our progress was very good throughout the afternoon. Shortly after Donnie, Dale, and Anne turned back toward the Estate, I asked Faith if she would like to hunt. I could have taken the holiday but I wanted her to realize how highly I counted her skill. She was quite gracious and took Dani with her, leaving Dawn with me. I allowed Stefan to lead the procession for a bit and he seemed quite honored. The Finns were so enamored with procession and appearance that I imagine he rarely had such a showing and I was glad to provide it.

The sun was lowering in the West when Dani returned to report that she and Faith had brought down a small wild boar. They were quite excited as it was not a meat that we enjoyed frequently and although we did not need such a supply of meat, I could keep it cold enough with my magic to eat it the next day. Faith was slaughtering the meat and wondering if she should meet us at our evening's stop. I conferred with Stefan for a few minutes to determine where to stop and then sent he and Jonah ahead to meet up with Faith, help her finish the task, and have the three of them advance to our resting position. With our slower movement, we would not arrive for perhaps an hour to an hour and a half after their arrival and they should have the fire started and meat cooking by that time.

By the time we saw the smoke in the distance, the riders were tiring. Xander had returned to his position in the wagon after an hour or so of riding which Stefan, Dani, and I had all complimented as a reasonable amount of time his first attempt. Dani and Dawn looked eager and I gave them leave to sprint ahead to meet up with the others at the camp site. I rode with the wagons and other horses until we reached the destination. Once we reached the camp site, everyone leapt into action. Lory and Merie began to lay out the tents and other materials while Briena took over the cooking duties. Without my direct orders, everyone found something useful to do. Xander began to build the tents in spite of never having seen tents of this type before and I was again grateful for his help. William led the horses a few at a time over to a field where they could graze. Others built or fetched water or brought wood for the fires. I made sure to pay my compliments to Faith on her successful hunt and generally helped wherever my assistance was needed. Having a powerful magic user is useful in many ways and I lofted tent timbers, stoked the fires, even calmed the horses. I placed a wide warning perimeter too warn us of intruders and keep us from having to post a sentry overnight. While our area was generally quite peaceful, one couldn't be too careful and four-legged predators were always a concern.

It was full-dark by the time our meal was ready and everyone ate quite voraciously. Xander had to have been glad of his plate and spoon as Briena had boiled some roots for a stew in addition to the roasted meat. We all complimented Faith and Dani on the hunt and Briena on her culinary skills. I could tell she was not used to such direct praise from one of my status as she blushed and looked at the ground and mumbled something to the effect that she was no comparison to D'Shel. Later I saw Dani visiting with her so I am sure my girl passed on our sincere compliments on the meal.

After dinner, our party had a few hours to pass the time. In groups of two or three, people went to the stream to bathe. I entertained a few wishful fantasies regarding the type of bathing I would like to do with Dani but it was not to be as Lory and Merie went with us. It seemed that they were not as comfortable in the wild as were we and they feared getting lost or being ravaged by tigers on the way to or from the stream. Once we had returned everyone was quite comfortable and the air had a sense of a casual party atmosphere. Dani pulled her traveling Chest game from her packs and soundly routed Faith, Stefan, and myself in that order. Dawn, I saw reading to Xander, William, and the girls and later I noticed her attempting to point out various letters to the young carpenter. So it turned out that my speculation that he could only make numbers for the calculations required by his skill but not actually read were correct. If Dawn or Dani wished to teach him more, I would let them know I approved for it could benefit him in our new home.

A few at a time, everyone turned in commenting that tomorrow would be a long traveling day. We had three tents and protocol would normally have had myself, Faith, Dawn, and Dani in ours with the girls in the other but they were scared of various sounds of the wild so Faith and Dawn slept in the other tent while Dani and I shared ours with Briena. The men shared the third tent and I'm sure were quite comfortable. I had laid a two or three inch layer of air under each tent so that the sleeping rolls were softened considerably over sleeping on bare ground. When I finished the spell, Faith had teased me that magic users were "soft" if we couldn't even camp properly but when I offered to take the air from her tent, she conceded that she would test the luxury just for the sake of comparison. Of course the presence of the cook kept my girl and I from engaging in any of the activities I had found myself daydreaming of during the ride.

I felt sure that Dani would wake long before Briena and I lay on the ground with my arm around my love. We whispered our impressions of the group and the journey so far interspersed with long kisses and tight hugs. Before long I was whispering to my girl – describing our currently denied pleasure and promising that pleasure for the day of our arrival. Her breath seemed labored with my increasing story and she finally rolled over me to kiss me deeply and begin her own story telling. It was the first time we had spoken to each other such and I blushed even as my heart beat in my chest with excitement for the words she said and the look on her face during my descriptions. She smiled as I likened her movements to those of the Willow trees, again found in the nearby stream – the way the branches seemed still and then suddenly whipped around so uncontrollably I compared to her movement just before and during her most beautiful movements. She teased me back that I wished her my Willow tree for the way the branches made me think of her tongue moving quickly and fluidly over and over my most sensitive skin and I added that as long as she hissed her pleasure, shuddering under my mouth or hand, she could be tree, cat, or woman. Finally we hugged each other tightly as we attempted to calm down from our excitement before falling asleep. That night I slumbered in a frustrated state as I had not since the night of our celebration.

As expected, Dani was the first member of our party awake. When I emerged from the tent she was warming her hands by the fresh fire and I smiled at her as I felt the unmistakable signature of her magics. Next to her on a rock were five fish and I wondered how early she had risen given that the sun was just coloring the horizon. "Good morning, D'ni."

"Good morning, My Lady. Did you sleep well?" She spoke with an amused look on her face as if remembering a happy thought or a funny joke.

I teased her in return wishing to see the pink color return to her pale cheeks. "Not as deeply as some nights but well, thank you."

She smiled knowingly. "I'm sorry you didn't sleep as well as you would like. Perhaps when we are at our new home… in your new bed."

Her retort was almost too cheeky and she looked away at the last moment but I had the blush I had wished for. Of course it wasn't my girl but I sporting pink cheeks when Dawn pushed aside the flap of her tent and came out stretching and yawning. "Good morning, Lady Tara." She bowed. "D'ni, do you have any kaffee made?" She held out Faith's cup and I thought to myself that I would have to tease my sister for needing the drink before she could even come from her tent.

Within minutes the group had emerged from the various tents and greeted each other formally or less formally as station required. I wondered, not for the first time, who had schooled Xander on our customs and structure. He seemed to follow the position that when in doubt, use more rather than less respect and I found that quite appealing. William had taken his fish sandwich and fruit and wandered silently over to the horses where he circulated passing each of them another handful of grass or patting their noses or flanks. We ate quickly and struck camp before resuming our procession, myself in the lead once again.

In all, our morning ritual had taken less than an hour from the time I emerged from my tent. Dani told me that she had risen perhaps thirty minutes before me to start the fire and catch and clean the fish. I, of course, praised her highly for her consideration in rising so early to begin the day for the rest of the group and waggled my eyebrows at her flirtatiously as I commented that I would have to find some way to repay her for her efficiency. Finally I had my blush as well as a teasing response that she had no idea what I meant. Our smaller group had less need for our formal riding order than the day before and I faded back after about ten minutes to allow Faith the lead. She, following my example, faded back even more quickly to allow Master Stefan his share. Our process was quick this morning, even with Xander again riding. He was learning quickly but seemed tender and we all urged him to retake his position on the wagon after an hour of riding. When he did retake his place, he climbed onto the seat and rode with the driver for quite some time.

As the day before we stopped only briefly for lunch, planning a larger meal when we halted for the day. We all noted the changing vegetation as we moved farther from our home and kept our eyes peeled for signs of predators or other wildlife. At one point, I thought I saw a tiger but it kept eluding my vision. Stefan, Jonah, and Dawn took the hunt this day although we still had the meat from yesterday's large kill. I asked them to only hunt for fowl and then agreed without question. For quite some time I rode by Faith and it was quite enjoyable as we were able to catch up on a great many personal issues that we didn't usually have time to share. Her feelings for Stefan were quite sincere and she felt that his were as well. I had to believe the same or he would have been a great fool (which he was not) to agree to an appointment with the Lady of her Estate. I would not have been someone whose wrath he wished to raise. In fact, his service of Maclay East has been exemplary and I have enjoyed growing to know him throughout our Summers here.

This night's halting was a mirror of the night before with the addition of the quail to our feast. Briena was already quite exalted in our group for her cooking skill and we sang a song to the hunters and then to her for her preparations. Before long we had designed a song for every member of our party no matter his skill or contribution to the project. The group drifted into small groups to visit, read, or whittle and Dani and I met with Faith and Stefan to confer on our position. We were on schedule for arrival at Maclay East late the following morning, only a few hours slower than we had intended in our planning. I believe that we had not quite estimated the extra time required by the wagons and all agreed that a journey without wagons would cut six or seven hours from the trip. Our sleeping arrangements matched those of the night before and I teased Faith into admitting that the cushion of air was a pleasant luxury.

I committed to myself that I would wake before my girl the next morning to give me a chance to watch her sleeping and then start the fire early. I did wake before her and had a moment to watch her but she woke as soon as I lifted my arm from around her waist, becoming instantly awake and whispering her greeting. I glanced over to see that Briena was asleep and kissed my lover quickly. "Today we reach our new home," I elated. Dani kissed me back and hugged me seeming intensely happy that we would be one step closer on our adventure and in finding a place of our own.

It almost seemed a shame that our journey would conclude today. Our departure was nearing the status of a slick wheel-everyone working quickly to break camp. All members, from William and Xander to myself had saved our finest traveling clothes for today to make the best impression at our destination. I took the lead, passing it quickly to Faith but retook it upon nearing the Estate. As we rode, we were very conscious of the terrain and condition of this land. We three nobles and our servants took notes on the conditions and agreed that this wild land seemed promising.

It was perhaps 10:30 as we neared the path to the Estate. I had expected to be greeted by my ailing great cousin, all appropriate members of his household, and Steward Giles. We rode in a dignified and formal manner up to the gate bearing the Maclay name and crest, to find Steward Giles, three other men, and two women-none of them noble. Nonetheless, I extended my hand and the six members of Maclay East bowed three seconds to me before turning their devotion to Faith and Stefan. Giles was the very picture of formal greeting and made a very positive impression. As soon as I gave him leave to speak, he apologized for the meager greeting and explained that my grand-cousin had, in fact, passed early the day before. He had sent a messenger to our Estate with some hope that we would encounter him on his ride but not knowing our intended path, had little chance of the same. He explained that the Estate had not many members and that the three remaining servants and four working free men were tending to duties or sitting with the body. Our group was formally introduced to each of the contingent who had greeted us and I expressed my condolence at their loss.

Leading our horses, we now neared the threshold to our new home. Steward Giles stood his back to the Estate and front to me just under the gateway, showing that he knew the terminology we had for the Estate. "Lady Tara Maclay, may I, Steward Rupert Giles, in absence a ranking owner of this Land, welcome you to Maclay Estate East."

Part 13
Maclay East

Our arrival at Maclay East threw us all into a frenzy of activity that has hardly ceased to this day. Our processional continued until we reached the manor, I hardly think to call it a castle. Steward Giles led myself, Dani, Faith, and Dawn through our new home as the others set about unloading the wagons and caring for the horses. With the exception of Dawn, the rest of us had never spent the night in such a meager building. The kitchen was perhaps half the size of the same at our previous home and by Dani's count, which she relayed to me later, the building had only 45 bedrooms and two ballrooms. As we walked, Dani took a cursory inventory of necessary repairs for later determination.

Giles seemed to vacillate between pride in the Estates's furnishings which were quite fine indeed and the condition of the building overall. However his feelings for the rest of the house, he showed obvious and unmistakable joy in the library. This one room put our library to shame, and I had never seen the like in my travels. Our new home contained perhaps half-again the number of books of our prior and Faith and I shared a glance surely meaning that we would not miss those tomes we left behind while my girl seemed to be somewhat transported by the offerings. I smiled as I surmised that were it not for our serious duties, she would have liked to stay in that room for weeks or even years doing nothing but reading. We later found out that generations ago the Lord and Lady of the Estate had two young daughters with poor health. Given that they could not ride, run, or shoot, they were educated even more so and both grew to love reading. Ever since, the Estate had quite prided itself on its vast library.

As we moved through the house, we met the remainder of the house staff, all turned out quite well. I remember thinking over and over how different it would be to live in a home with so few servants in comparison to our upbringing. At the conclusion of our tour, we reached my great-cousin's chambers. Only Faith and I entered, Dawn and Dani departing to supervise and assist the others in their efforts. His appearance, I need not discuss, but he was arrayed well and those sitting with the body, his mark-bound servant included, were appropriate in every way. I thanked them for their service and left them to their vigil.

Given the time, Giles (for he quickly asked that we call him Giles as everyone did rather than Steward Giles) suggested that we break for lunch and apologized for a lack of game. He said that my cousin had not been a prolific hunter in the last few years and that the wildlife seemed to overrun the woods and fields. In fact, the livestock suffered terribly from predators and our efforts would be necessary to bring the sheep, goat, even cow herds back to a reasonable number. I laughed as Faith promised that she and Stefan would see to the issue very quickly. Nonetheless, lunch was a relaxed affair of soup, bread, cheese, fruit, and wine and the existing servants were quick and efficient in serving us. I asked Dani during the meal where Xander had gotten to as he would be welcome to eat with us but she said that he was investigating the outbuildings although he begged my allowance to inspect the castle (as he of course called this building) at the most convenient time. Turning from Dani I explained to Giles that we had brought a carpenter with us.

"Ah yes, Lady Maclay. You mentioned that you might. I promise he will find ample projects on this Estate for a year and a day at the minimum."

Following lunch, Giles and myself retired to the impressive library for a number of long discussions. First on our agenda were funeral arrangements for my great cousin. I accepted the invitation on behalf of our Estate and he made reports on the notes he had sent out the prior day. He did not expect a sizeable showing and tradition and health concerns dictated that we take care of the body within two days. While I have never considered myself a Priestess, my standing as Lady and magic user qualified me to preside over the customs and prayers necessary and I accepted that honor without hesitation.

Next we poured over the family records as was necessary to officially determine the passing of this Estate into ours. We would be required to post notices of my cousin's passing and his leaving no immediate kin with the details of his genealogy but baring a hidden and illegitimate heir stepping forward (not an impossibility as Giles put it while attempting to be as discrete as he could), the Estate was now fully part of the Maclay holdings and I Lady of this as well as my other home.

The light was growing dim by the time we had settled those two topics and my girl had joined us a few times to apprise me of the progress of the remainder of the group – Stefan and Dawn had gone hunting. Being still dark winter we had not long in the light and Giles suggested that I retire to my room for a bit before dinner. Dani informed me that as the master suite was occupied she had chosen a room which she felt I would like. She had a teasing look in her eye when she said it and I answered her quite formally that surely she knew my preferences by now and was capable of making such a choice quite admirably.

My girl led me up the stairs to this room and it was quite as she had hinted. On the second floor, fully half of the ceiling was glassed to show the stars and tops of the mountains in the distance. Directly under that glass was the bed and I grabbed my lover to kiss her deeply as I looked at it. The headboard was like nothing I had ever seen. It was massive and held a hundred or more gaps, slats, and indentions in what can only be imagined or described as endless handholds (or perhaps footholds). Dani ceased our kiss to whisper my exact thoughts. "Now you can hold on as tightly as you want while I make you scream, Tara."

"And the stars you see won't just be behind your eyelids."

No more words were necessary for me to send the fastest of spells to bolt the door to the room and we tested out that bed, finding it amazingly to our liking, until dinner time was called.

When I get up from this chair. When I walk across this room, open the door, descend the stairs, I do not know that I will ever come back. I can barely turn my head to see the bed and yet I feel that I must. I, who have been so evil, who have treated my love so basely, perhaps this should be my punishment. Not just being without Dani, but coming to this room each day. Sleeping in this bed and remembering how I abused one who had no power to resist me. Through my shame and my horror I admit that I thought none of this then.

Dinner was stuffed pheasant and talk, talk, talk from every quarter. Stefan and Dawn regaled us with tales of their brief exploration and the prolific wild game. Stefan did mention that some culling would be necessary and I gave him latitude in doing whatever was necessary to being the Estate back to greatest health for everyone understood that this was our purpose. Xander hesitated to speak at dinner but when pressed gave reports on the condition of the outbuildings. He was quite sorry to report some of his findings but promised his ability to reform the holdings. He sat to Giles's right and I hoped that these two free- men would be able to bond and work together well. While they had very different personalities, each seemed the most respectable and capable of their class. Faith and Dani reported on the condition of the manor proper as well as the servants present and their strengths. Giles was able to chime in on the servants as well. I was quite privileged to have such capable assistance from all present and praised them profusely to let them know the importance of their efforts in our endeavor.

I informed all present of the funeral arrangements for our cousin. While Xander's presence was optional, all others would not dare miss the ceremony-a fact of which I had no need to remind them.

Two days hence, in fact we set out from the estate carrying my grand-cousin's remains on a litter. Xander had in fact determined to come (after consulting with Dani apparently) and he, Stefan, Jonah, Giles, the attendant, and my cousin's mark-bound servant, F'drek bore his body with ease until we reached the edge of the lake where they laid him on his funeral pyre. I had never conducted a funeral before but I found myself quite transported by the traditional lamentations and praises. Faith joined in the prayers where allowed and the rest I conducted alone. Near the end, I was quite overcome with the level of heat I could feel rising within my body. When I channeled the power into my cousin's body and saw his pyre ignite I felt almost a shock. I believe I slumped as the heat left my body and I regained awareness in Stefan's arms looking up at the bluest sky as the fire raged a few feet away. Later Giles complimented the power and purity of my devotion to create such a consuming blaze.

We remained at the pyre until the last embers had burned out. Then, per tradition, every person present took a handful of ashes and walked in different directions scattering them as we went. The remainder we would allow the elements to scatter. Each at his or her own pace, we massed again and walked back to the Estate for the funeral meal. As Giles had predicted, we had only representation of two other houses, and those sent only three-mark nobles and their servants. Most other Estates would send their condolences and regrets in the following few days but we were quite geographically distant from others of our nobility.

After the meal, those I had brought returned to their tasks and I met with each of the servants for my cousin's Estate. First of those was Fredrek and I formally offered him freedom from his bond as was his right. He thanked me for the offer and asked if he could remain bonded to the house which I granted. He has been a tremendous help in our efforts and I am grateful that he remained although he could still ask and be granted his freedom at any time. The other servants, I offered their freedom as well. While it was not their right, being bonded to the house, I felt that in a time of mourning and with the passing of ownership of the Estate, this was a reasonable and generous offer. Only two of the seven house servants accepted the offer and I completed their freed servant bonds and the appropriate documentation by sunset. I sent copies of the documentation via the returning drivers for maintenance in T'dre's records. My day's magical exertions left me quite drained and I was asleep long before dinner was called.

I have no wish to give you a day by day retelling of our time at Maclay East, nor could I should I wish it. The days quickly blended together marked by the passing of seasons and holidays. Faith and Dawn stayed with us over a moon and I dearly would have loved for them to stay longer. I made their welcome clear and more than a few tears were shed as they departed prior to the Spring Equinox.

By the time they left, we had made thorough inspections of the condition of every acre of the Estate. It was an Estate which could have been great and I believed could be again. While some fields had been planted and harvested well, others lay fallow lacking the manpower to manage them or perhaps my cousin's skill to manage the tasks. Game was abundant and we never lacked for fresh meat. Stefan seemed to shine more and more brightly as I assigned him greater responsibilities on the Estate and by this date the herd animals have increased two-fold. Xander flung himself into each building project and eventually agreed to move into the "castle." Giles was invaluable and his mind quick and overwhelming. I could not tell you who had the greater intellect: Dani or Giles and their games of Chest were a fascinating and sometimes fearsome sight. I afforded, no encouraged, no cajoled, them to relax more and work less and they spent hours on end studying the books in the library and debating theories which sailed right over my inadequate brain.

The vineyards of Maclay East were both a joyous and a disappointing discovery. While we had not the climate at our former home to maintain a vineyard, Maclay East did. The vineyards were in poor repair and required much effort to rehabilitate them but, seeing the possibilities, I quickly assigned three men to full time work doing just that. Their efforts paid off with production of over fifty barrels the first season and one hundred our second season. This season I quite expect to double that number again and I am considering expanding the acreage assigned to this aspect our of economy. And I can tell you, having been to many celebrations that our product is quite full and appreciated by all who partake.

Of course, I corresponded constantly with my Father to discuss my intentions and plans for the Estate. He made few suggestions but those which he shared were consistently vast improvements over the prior plans. In truth, the correspondence with Maclay Main was copious as we all kept in touch with the happenings of our friends and family. Dani wrote a note to Xander's father on his behalf which I'm quite sure someone from our Estate read to him upon delivery. Occasionally our carpenter received a response from his father which was quite thrilling.

Within a few weeks of our arrival all of our procession had visited the villages. We spread out our visits to keep from overwhelming the citizens and Giles accompanied Dani and I on our first visits. Neither village was as sufficient or respectable as those near our old Estate which made perfect sense. Villages always prosper or fail in direct proportion to their Estates and I had as much wish to increase their fortunes as our own. Our arrival brought commissions to the crafts-men of the town and we offered to hire every willing resident to work the fields. We even offered residents a choice of working for a tradition wage or "owning" a share of land on which they could plant, raise, and harvest the crop. They would double our traditional 10% tithe and keep the profit. The first season only two families accepted this opportunity but the most recent season has seen eleven families "sharing" a portion of our Estate crops. We have profited by the increased tithe, the proper rotation of crops on our land, and having residents with greater fortunes which means greater spending in the villages.

The closer of the two villages, Turbren, boasts the best baker I have ever encountered. I would gladly offer Jenk any position in my kitchens for the opportunity to sample his wares each day upon arising. As it is, I have to settle for purchasing items from his ovens when his daughter, a strange girl, named Anya, walks to our Estate every three days. Anya is a curiously intense creature who speaks her mind at all times, even in my presence and in spite of Dani's constant shushing of her, and who harbors an almost fatal fear of rabbits. I believe Xander's initial interest in her was almost thwarted as he, uninformed of this strong feeling, presented her with a carving of rabbit shortly after meeting her for the first time. Suffice it to say, I believe he has gotten over her rejection of his efforts and that when he did not return to the castle for more and more nights, we did not worry his absence. For the past year he has lived in the village and we are always able to locate him by calling at the bake shop.

And what of my Dani? My reason, at least initially, for moving to this Estate? She has blossomed beautifully here. Free from the shadow of Delam and Doris and even Derek as I am of my father and Melanie, her management skills are highlighted and almost exploited here. It was she who first proposed and explained the advantages to allowing the villagers to plant and harvest our land. She has suggested multiple variations in design of this building or the tools used on the Estate, each time supplying Xander with sketches and then working with him as he creates custom tools. Each and every effort has gained efficiency and productivity increases and many of them we have shared with the main Estate with profuse gratitude from my father. She has not yet completed her exploration of the library and I frequently hear her voice raised with or against Giles's in discussion of an obscure point of philosophy or theory.

Inspired by her indulgence of Xander's interest in corresponding with his father she began, with my approval, to teach him his letters and basic reading and writing. Interestingly Briena and Lory both asked to be taught and these lessons have continued weekly. Fredrek has joined my girl in her teachings and they have expanded greatly. Sometimes as many as twelve or thirteen villagers will arrive for the lessons. While I don't think that the meal we serve at the conclusion of the lesson hurts attendance, most of them seem to come primarily for the rare opportunity.

And we have been blessedly shielded from society here. We have received invitations to balls but most are so far away that we could not attend them even if we wished to do so. Stefan has taken leave of our Estate on three occasions to represent us at large celebrations, each time returning in such high spirits that I did not have to ask to know that Faith was also in attendance. Occasionally we accommodate visiting nobility which brings us some entertainment and political and economic reports from close or distant lands. When I was younger and my father assured me that my high marks would ensure Dani of "class in her prospective mates" the thought sickened me. Now I appreciate it in that in over two years we have had only one visit from a five-marked noble. Most Lords remain on their own estates unless attending the highest and most important of celebrations (as my marking was) so we have been free of that possibility and all the happier for it. I once happened upon Merie taking with Dani and would posit that the possibility of our isolation was at least part of the reason for both her and Lory volunteering to accompany us. While I do not think to question their relationship, they seem quite happy to share quarters.

And my relationship with my love only blossomed with our adventure and freedom. Our connection, our conversation, our intimacy was increased over and over again each time I looked at her. I felt as if each moment with Dani was an expression of every good part of my very soul. So often, we knew what the other was thinking without words. Our roles, our titles, dropped away until days and even weeks went by with no address other than Tara or Dani or "my love" or "sweetie." I can not think that the others of our Estate thought Dani disrespectful but surely they understood that she was not the usual servant but more appropriately my partner in every aspect our lives. And while she has still never professed her love for me in any but the most general and respectful of words, she demonstrated that love over and over. Where she was shy in expressing her needs and wants, in initiating our intimacy, she left this reservation on our prior home. Sharing my almost overwhelming passion …

Does this sound like a confession? Should I call a priestess or my father to sit in judgment or assign penance toward my absolution? And can there ever be absolution for my sins? You see now, do you not, the way I took advantage of my girl? How I used her over and over and never saw the evil of my ways. And was it more horrible for her? Being abused by one who spoke of love? When she cried after our lovemaking and told me that it was because she was so moved by my love for her, by her own happiness, were they truly tears of joy or did she cry in pain and I in my selfishness never realized?

I would do anything she asked to gain my love's absolution. To gain my love's… love. For there is nothing else for me. I shall never marry, my title be damned. Eventually, of course, I must bear my successor and this I shall do. But marry? I will not and I will not be forced.

If she should return. Dani. I would fall on my knees and beg her forgiveness. Offer her everything I can. My partnership in truth. My very life. Anything she asks. Anything.

Before I took this chair, I held out hope that my beliefs were not so wrong, my actions not so evil. That Dani did love me as I do her. That she was willing and eager to love me but somehow, for some reason, unwilling to say so. But in this, the darkest hour of night, that glimmer of hope fades and I torture myself with the certainty that she felt no such passion. No such tenderness of affection for me.

I put the time four in the morning and my mind plays tricks on me. The coral door seems to swing on the hinge and I mentally put on my list that Dani needs to ask someone to oil it and fix the latch before I remember… A few moments later I imagine it closing but by that time I no longer care for the noise it makes.

The sun will rise in no more than three hours and I still must tell of Lord Finn's visit and everything which has transpired since that day.

And I will.

That visit was not unexpected. In fact, it was the most distant thing from unexpected. It was preceded by a formal letter from my father, a less formal one from Anne, a very formal one from Lady Finn, and servants and gifts from the Finn Estate. The Finn Estate requested my audience on a "matter involving the future and fortunes of our two exalted and noble houses." In other words, Master Riley wanted to marry Miss Anne.

My father's letter, as I said, was highly formal. He was respectful and let me know that he approved of the marriage while also letting me know that it was entirely mine to approve or refuse. Had the Finns no standing Lady or even a Lady with no magic, it is possible that the two Lords could have negotiated the marriage but given our standing as magic users (she third generation and myself fourth), it would fall to us to decide and arrange the marriage.

Anne's letter? Her writing had improved greatly given her years of studying toward the bar (an examination she intended to sit in the next six moons). Still, it was littered with references to Riley's greatness, his intelligence, his humor, his good looks, his manly- manlieness. I remembered him as a bore but my sister loved him dearly and the match was a good one politically. It was particularly fortunate for our family given that I had no intention of marrying – an issue pressed in Anne's letter but not my father's.

Lady Finn's missive was delivered by not one but three messengers who also brought a gift of two horses, two barrels of ale, and yards of silk. Their intention of impressing us was lost on no one and I answered quite formally naming a date for their visit. We then leapt into a frenzy of cleaning not seen before nor since. We knew not how many guests they would bring but prepared every room in the castle in case the entire Estate came (as was likely). Stefan stepped up his hunting efforts and we slaughtered goats, sheep, and cows to prepare for the feasts. We did not raise pigs, partially because Dani did not appreciate the meat so we left those off the menu.

Thankfully, Faith and Dawn arrived in response to my repeated and open-ended requests for their presence days after I replied to Lady Finn. I could scarcely have been happier to see the Creator herself than my youngest sister. I don't delude myself that she came only for me as Stefan and she were quite inseparable but she was an untold help in every task until the visit and I find myself tearing up at the memory of her coming to my aid when I needed it.

In the meanwhile, my stomach hurt with thoughts that again Lord Finn would be near my girl. I doubted he would attempt marks-rights while his wife negotiated a marriage between our families but I strongly considered sending Faith and Dani to buy horses for the bulk of the visit nonetheless. When I mentioned the idea to Faith she looked at me sideways, pursed her lips, and answered that we needed no horses. When I mentioned it to Dani… she left the room without answer. It was the first time she had ever done such a thing and part of me wanted to follow her to ask why she was so mad but the other was too shocked at her departure to react.

That night after dinner Faith and I were engaged in a game of Chest when she mentioned her eventual marriage to Stefan. It began with her asking if I could approve their marriage at the same time and save us all the trouble. I teased her that it didn't seem that the Finns would be bringing payment for two brides: only one. She scoffed at the implication and said that her payment would be much lower than Anne's to which I took her hands in my own and softly kissed the palms as I told her that her first daughter would be a magic user just as much as Anne's.

"But Anne's first daughter will be a Lady."

I laughed out loud. "You could marry Riley. He's very funny and smart and have you noticed how manly he is?"

Faith laughed as well. "Oh yes. That's what this visit is about. Riley wants to marry me and his family is bringing pigs and chickens and ale and horses to bribe your decision."

"Or he's coming to ask for my hand." I held my marks out and traced the back of my hand as if referencing marriage marks.

Faith looked across the room. "What of you, my lovely sister and Lady. Will you marry?"

I followed her eyes to where she gazed across the room at Giles and Dani bent over a book on astronomy. For a moment my throat felt tight and I thought to speak the truth. To tell Faith that I loved Dani dearly and would never marry but I could not do it, even for my sister. "I can not afford courting time."

My sister never took her eyes off my lover. "Of course, My Lady."

Did Faith know something? And what did she know? Why did she not tell me? Warn me? If I saw her doing something so abhorrent, so wrong I would tell her. I would warn her. I would…

Or would I? I say that I would tell her, would stop her but I am speaking from my experience as her Lady. She can only come at the thing from her experience as my younger sister and not a Lady so I can't say what I would do in her place.

As the Finn visit closed in on us, I became more and more possessive of my girl. My wanting her, that was a norm. I always wanted her and she was used to my needs and wants but this was an even stronger need. We made love. Made love. I can't believe I use that term even. But I thought it was and so I will. We made love morning and night for days- her need for me seeming as insatiable as my own for her. I no more than entered the room at night or stirred in the morning and she was upon me, her hands pulling me toward the bed and stripping my clothes from my body in a practiced ease that I would never equal. And we were never so gloriously connected as that last few weeks before the visit. Our bodies fit perfectly and I could feel her thoughts and feelings as we moved together.

One unfortunate aspect of the visit was Dani and I had to cease our magical practice in preparation for Lady Finn's arrival. With no other magic users for leagues, we had gotten into the wonderful habit of performing magic together nearly every day. Some days it was a simple spell such as floating a rose and guiding it with our minds (quite child play for both of us), others it was working together to bring rain to parts of the land which most needed it or to hold posts level while riding and repairing fence. Nothing made me happier than to see my girl getting to express her own power through her magic. But with Lady Finn arriving, and certainly given that my visitor and I would be performing magic together, she would be able to pick up the additional magical signature.

By the day before the Finn arrival, our Estate positively shone in comparison to our arrival a mere two years earlier. I approached Master Stefan early in the day in private to let him know that he was welcome to ride out to join his former Estate and arrive in their processional. He thanked me for my consideration and informed me that he felt more at home and of use in my employ and would proudly represent the Maclay Estate for as long as we wished to have him. The interchange brought tears to both of our eyes and a rare hug between us. As I pulled away I whispered in his ear that I was ready to approve his marriage to Faith at his request and he smiled, giving only the slightest nod to acknowledge this informal and mildly inappropriate comment.

Having worked so hard to get ready, our staff deserved a break and I attempted to give it to them. Mid-morning, Dani and I circulated telling everyone to take the day off, doing only what was absolutely necessary and urgent for the visit. This instruction left only Briena with many tasks and Dani and I pitched in to help her as we could. While helping in the kitchen is far from my ideal day, it gave me the opportunity to get to know this quiet girl better. She had been quite committed to the reading lessons and asked us both questions throughout the day from the book she read as she stirred. Later in the day I asked Dani to ensure that Briena received a gift, perhaps a few books of her own, to express my gratitude for her hard work not only this month but since arriving and my girl assured me that she would take care of the matter after our guests left.

The following morning our entire Estate turned out in our finest dress to meet the Finn processional just inside our gates. Had we met them outside the gates, it would have been a sign that we distrusted them or welcomed them warily. Meeting them at the castle would have indicated a lack of interest on our part for the meeting and all spots between indicated our attitude toward the meeting. We amassed about 12 feet inside the gate to indicate our welcome and interest in their visit.

We were not great in number but I believe we looked a respectable Estate with myself, Dani, Fredrek, Faith, Dawn, Stefan, Jonah, Giles, and our other house bound servants. Those of us with marks on our hands extended them toward Lady Finn, Lord Finn, Master Riley, and our visitors approached with theirs similarly extended. Once they had crossed the threshold of our estate, I touched marks with Lady Finn before welcoming her. Then followed a long session of greetings between each noble member of each house and each noble member of the other including mark-bound servants. Many of the Finns we were well acquainted with but I had not met Stefan's father nor Lady Finn's two married sisters. The daughter of one of those sisters was a magic user so we would have three practioners for our investigation.

Next came the gifts. We had prepared tokens to welcome our guests including fabrics, needlework, and carvings (most created by Xander). They, being in greater need of impressing us, brought gifts of livestock, wheat, ale, wine, fruit, and two bound-servants. I could not show my emotion but I contemplated how I would tell them that I would not accept the final gift. The Maclay family has long been opposed to exchanges of that sort and our preference is commonly known but the Finns obviously did not know this trait. It would fall to me to pass on this information without seeming disrespectful. I could feel Dani's tensing as the servants's names were not even mentioned and I can't imagine that our other servants felt differently.

Having dismounted, I led Lady Finn to the area I had designated for our magical interaction. Faith and Lady Finn's sisters drew the circle and we three practioners stepped inside. Without discussion we fell into an enjoyable and powerful display of magics with aspects from each of the elements. A slight part of my mind knew that the other members of my Estate were leading our guests to their rooms, stabling their horses, touring them through the library. Stefan I had asked to lead a hunting expedition and no doubt he had taken many of our visitors with him. But that was only a small portion of my mind. Most of my self was occupied fully with the creation of these powerful magics. Our display was both ceremonial and investigatory as we prodded to determine strengths and weaknesses in each other's power. Neither Lady Finn or young Miss Turner could equal my power and precision but their powers were respectable. Lady Finn had an elegance to her execution that it seemed would interact quite well with Anne's energy when she produced a daughter. By the time we completed our practice, dusk was in the sky. Dani as well as Lady Finn and Miss Turner's bound servants were there to hand each of us a warm drink and lead us back to the Castle. We needed no words to express our satisfaction in what our investigations had revealed and we visited quite comfortably as we walked.

Having never moved from the room my lover had chosen for us that first day, I ensconced Lady Finn in the master suite and she was quite pleased by the accommodations. Lord Finn was on another hallway in a room nearly as elegant but with a more manly feel to it. As yet, I had not but exchanged the formal greetings with Lord Finn nor Riley. That was sure to change at dinner and my bathing and dressing ritual forced me to reset my thinking to allow me to effectively interact with them.

Dani looked stunning in a dark-blue gown and her brown riding boots which were polished to look like new. I wanted to undress her the moment she was dressed and told her as much. Her hands cupped my hips as she whispered that it seemed an excellent idea to her and some suggestions for what I might do once she was thus not arrayed. I was wearing, for the first time in my formal presentation, not a gown but brown leather trousers and an elaborately embroidered white shirt worn open at the neck and hanging loose around my waist. At first I hadn't felt comfortable dressed so for such a meeting but Faith and Dani convinced me that it portrayed both my position and elegance and the activity of our life in working this Estate to bring it to the prestige it deserved. I will admit, quite shamefully, that I had been fully convinced of my appearance after my sister left us and Dani displayed the reaction she had to seeing me in my unusual shirt.

Per tradition, Dani and I arrived last to the banquet, allowing all others to be seated and watch for our arrival. We greeted them as we took our places at the head of the table. I have never enjoyed public speaking greatly but I do feel that I did my name and house proud with the welcome and blessing and I could detect no disappointment in my remarks. When I had finished my comments, Lady Finn took my cue and stood to deliver her own, expressing their joy to be visiting and her high hopes for the intertwined future of our fortunes. Lord Finn spoke next, delivering a similar speech and praising the game and the general condition of the Estate. It was apparent from his words that news of the previous condition of Maclay East had reached the Finns and that they were impressed with the reformation we had made in such a short time. I made a mental note to again reward those of our Estate for their hard work and results.

The meal was elegant and delicious. The Finn family cooks had joined my Briena in the kitchen and reports were that their work together was flawless. Everyone enjoyed the food and we had reports on the activities of all attendees. The hunt had gone well with Dawn and Stefan showing particular skill. Their respective ranks placed Faith and Stefan across the large table from each other and although no one mentioned it, their affection was apparent to all present. Negotiating their union would be enjoyable and easy.

If Faith's reports were accurate, and I had no reason to doubt them, I would be negotiating Donnie's union with Melissa within the twelve- month and I felt impressed enough by Lady Finn's deportment to feel that I could copy her behaviors to some extent. Of course the Finns could offer Anne an eventual Ladyship when the current Lord and Lady had passed while Melissa would have no such offer unless I vacated my position which I was surely not going to do nor would I be asked. Fortunately, with four-marks she was ensured her own Ladyship upon her mother's passing. Another difference in that event and this was that when we went to ride out for that negotiation, I would take with me my father, Donnie, Melanie, and T'solde at least not to mention the servants and gifts.

The meal went well with conversation ranging from reports of news and crop production to social events and gossip. Of both political news and social information, we were far more likely to be the recipient than the distributor but it was nice to hear reports. Later we had music but had not planned for dancing. Our guests and ourselves socialized, played games, or told stories and the atmosphere was quite relaxed. I noticed a few of the noble men leaving with servants or their own wives but for the most part our servants were left unmolested which was a relief to me and I can imagine to Lory and Merie as well for their relationship had become even more clear to me as time passed. As I had prepared no useless errands for my girl, Lord Finn's decorum was a blessing.

The evening's socialization went quite late but that didn't decrease our ardor, my girl and I. If anything, fueled by my relief that no one would take advantage of my girl as well as her appearance and her by my dress, we nearly broke the bed. Let me correct that. We broke the bed. True it was only that a small piece of the headboard broke off in my hand, something that would not be noticed as it actually fit the pattern of the art, but you may well imagine how tightly I was grasping it to have broken it off. Or you may imagine what Dani was doing that was causing me to grip the slats so tightly. Embarrassment at the acts I have described rages within me and I can produce no further details.

When finally we lay fully spent and drifting into sleep I felt my lover's arms wrap so warmly around me and felt her lips gently kissing the top of my head. And it was then that I first heard the words I had dreamt of for so long. She whispered her love so quietly I would have missed if I had been five seconds closer to sleep. Then it would have just been the seed of the greatest dream of my life but said as it was, it filled my heart with joy. I turned sleepily to kiss her lips and repeat my love again and again as tears rolled down both of our faces. I can remember no more as sleep captured us both.

So I had my confession of love. The words I had desired for so long. Those I had requested hundreds, no thousands, of times. And part of me wants to believe them. Wants to believe that Dani loved me just as I wish I could believe that she wanted me. All those times. So many times. And that part of me, a part which grows smaller and weaker every minute which passes, sits here waiting for her to return to me.

The larger part of me? My growing torment tells me that Dani is, was, a well-trained servant. The most perfect of servants and that being that well trained, she knew what her Mistress wanted to feel and hear. I can not blame her for I don't accuse her of deciept, of trickery or manipulation. Rather, she could detect my longing for her (for who could not?) and gave in to that longing. I pulled those words from her lips as I pulled her dignity from her body.

Over and over.

I awoke early the next morning to find Dani gone from our rooms and myself wondering if I had dreamt her confession of love. I quickly went to freshen up and she came in before I could even put on the outfit she had laid out for me. I smiled as she walked through the door and she seemed as happy as I was. She verily bounded across the floor to kiss and hug me and twirled in a circle, displaying the small cherry tart she had obviously gotten from downstairs.

"Your predilection to charming the kitchen staff has never abated," I teased with mock sternness. "What am I going to do with you?"

She put a bite of the morsel with amazingly flaky crust and tart fruit into my mouth as she laughed. "You have no one but yourself and your brother to blame for my evil ways." She popped the last bite into her own mouth and then kissed me with fruit juice still on her lips.

I pulled her closer with my arms around her lower back and began to kiss her neck as I responded. "Maybe I like your evil ways…"

"You certainly liked them last night, or should I say this morning, My Lady." She whispered a few details of the night before in my ear and I coughed in shock. Sometimes the words that came from my girl's beautiful mouth were enough to make my eyes nearly pop out of my head. Yes, I was used to doing the things she described, but the language was quite risqué and I wondered if this was how the servants spoke among themselves. Certainly, she knew words that I had never heard from anyone else and occasionally she made suggestions I had never even considered, which is not to say that those suggestions weren't greatly appreciated in almost all cases.

I grasped her cheeks and kissed her deeply before releasing her. "I would much rather stay here and listen to your colorful speech but we must greet our guests and plan a wedding."

My girl bowed playfully as if she were being sent to work. "Breakfast is on the sideboard and Master Riley looks as if he would like to corner you to discuss dancing."

I rolled my eyes at the thought. Thank the Creator Anne would be marrying him rather than myself. Even the few snippets of conversation I had heard from him confirmed my suspicions that he was the world's dullest man, four marks or no. I would have rather had Dani read me recipes from a faded cookbook than he bring me a live tiger for a pet. I dressed, again in fine riding clothes rather than ball dress, and descended the stairs. The menu offered abundant fruit and breads as well as breakfast meat and cheeses and I loaded up on the fruit and bread with a glass of milk. As Dani had informed me, Riley waited near my table head and I could do nothing but take my seat and listen to his drivel until Lady and Lord Finn arrived-separately of course. Given the distance they kept it was a wonder they had managed to produce Riley and his two younger brothers and no wonder that they had not continued trying until they produced a future Lady.

Oh, I turn snide as I move through my story do I not? Perhaps when I rise from this chair I will begin to pack Dani's clothes so that at least she will have something to change into today. The rest can wait but I can hardly deny her a change of clothes can I?

Following breakfast the groups again set about to explore the Estate, do their responsibilities, or engage in unorganized competitions and games. This was not a celebration as our marking had been so we were not responsible for scheduling the time. We had sufficiently impressed those present and our toasts at dinner the night before confirmed our intentions. Today would come the planning and negotiations.

Lady Finn, Lord Finn, their servants, myself, and Dani retired to the library where we would not be disturbed. Any needs for food or drink would be handled by our marked-servants and I saw that Dani had already set up a table with ale, wine, and kaffee as well as fruits and rolls. She was our chief scribe as we made plans. Given that both our Estates needed to harvest and process our crops we determined November 6th as the best day for the union. We would be finished with our work and the date would allow myself and my accompaniment to join Maclay Main for our journey to the wedding. In our society, it is traditional for the more highly ranked partner's family to host the wedding. In the case of equal ranks, the groom's family hosts. With Estate ranks and respect roughly equal, they would host the wedding. From my Estate I would estimate the journey at about a day and a half and from Maclay Main just at a day.

Although they were hosts and responsible for the entertainment, accommodations, and presentation, we needed to contribute our share for the extravaganza. As Dani calculated the needs of the party, we agreed to supply the Finn Estate with four cows, twelve goats, 50 chickens, four barrels of wine (proudly supplied by Maclay East), bushels of wheat, and countless more. I will not bore you with lists and more lists but suffice it to say that we would respectably and impressively make our contributions.

Next, Lady Finn's woman began the list of invitations. Our initial list held the names of over eight hundred guests and we agreed to pare that down. By mid-afternoon we had narrowed that list to between 450 and 500 guests. T'dre is, without compare as a marks-artist and I assured them that she would commit the marks. When asked if I would be assisting her, I responded that I intended to perform my art at whatever level T'dre felt I was now worthy and Lady Finn flattered me that my work was impressive and she would b proud for me to perform the marks. I knew that T'dre would at least want me to set Delia and Riley's servant's marks.

By dinner time we had settled most of the matters regarding the union, made two copies, signed them, and embossed them with our family crests. As we left to prepare for our meal, I motioned to Lady Finn that I would appreciate her attention for another moment.

"Lady Maclay?"

"Lady Finn, I will not keep you long from our delicious dinner."

She nodded. "Your cooks make quite exquisite delights."

"As do yours."

She waited and it was obvious to both of us that I must speak. "You honor us with the gifts to our Estate and we appreciate them." I thought I might stutter but I did not and I took a deep breath. "But the final gift, the servants, we can not accept."

Lady Finn studied me for a moment as if to determine my attitude. Then she smiled broadly. "Well done, Lady Maclay. Evan and Augusta would have been well served in your employ."

For a moment, I felt anger at having been tested so but I could appreciate the effort and smiled in return before motioning toward the door.

Following the meal, I stood and raised my wine glass, waiting for all present to do the same. "My father's love for my mother was legendary…" I told an abbreviated story of my parent's story before expressing my wish that Riley and Anne's love always be as pure and strong.

Our guests left the next day by noon as did the messenger who would carry the news of our arrangements to Maclay Main where I knew Anne waited eagerly. She would have had to know that I would approve the match both for political reasons and because I had been raised to honor love so. I would never deny my sibling love nor position.

Over the next six months we continued to elevate the fortunes of our emerging land. Our harvests were greater still than prior. We no longer needed the villagers to share in our crops but we had found this practice to be one which greatly benefited our people while still benefiting our Estate so we continued it. Our wine production improved and constant work on the fruit trees was paying off in greatly increased harvests of peaches, apricots, berries, and apples to name a few. My father wrote again and again to express his pride and joy in our success running the land.

Zhorro's fourth litter produced seven pups and Dani took it upon herself to give them to the children of the village rather than selling them as hunting dogs. I found her choice to be as endearing as it was generous.

In the meantime, I corresponded constantly with the Finn estate as well as our own. Many matters required my personal attention while others could be handled by Anne or Melanie. We received weekly reports on the responses to invitations and the accommodations arranged for attendees. By early October the wedding was sure to host 17 Lords or Ladies and 19 magic practitioners. It was likely that both numbers would increase in the coming weeks. Not only were all five-mark nobles who had attended my marks celebration coming, but the Finns had an additional range of acquaintance to invite and many of these had responded in the affirmative. Maclay Main sent most of the livestock gifts while we sent the wine from our first year.

Even without the wedding arrangements, harvest was an exhausting process. Rarely did we stay late in the parlor to play games or read. Everyone went to bed shortly after dinner, looking as if we might drop if we did not move quickly enough. Even Dani and my love making was reduced as we were both simply to tired some nights. Regardless, we always held each other tightly and this was at times almost as good to me.

By the middle of October I knew that I needed to speak to Dani regarding the wedding. We closed the door to our room and embraced quickly but I pulled away, aware that Dani regarded me curiously. "I need to speak to you, my love." Dani watched me closely before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. For a moment I thought she would return to her ancient habit of kneeling but it had been literally years since she had done so in anything but jest or passion. I chewed on my fingernail for a moment. "I… I have made a decision."

"Yes, My Lady?"

"I need you to stay here and run the Estate in my absence." I waited. "Giles is a worthy Steward and Fredrek is quite an able man but I need you here to carry out my wishes."

Dani stood and took a few steps across the room. Then she turned and retraced her steps. She did this four times before stopping in front of me. "Please don't do this, My Lady."

I brushed a lock of hair from her face to place it behind her ear. "You are far too valuable to attend this event." Tears threatened the corners of my eyes and I blinked to hold them back.

Dani bit at her lip before speaking. "My Lady, my value is the exact reason that you must take me."

Politically she was right. Her presence and deportment always increased my standing as her superiority was well known. Our time on Maclay East had only grown her beauty and the strength of her body as well as her wealth. She had not lost a game of strategy in over four years and her hunting skills were without weakness. Even so, how could I take her to the wedding? It would be attended by, at current count, 11 Lords. I felt sure that Lord Finn would consider he had waited long enough and others had not even met my beautiful girl. I could not possibly keep her safe. I touched her cheeks as I felt tears start to pool in my eyes. "Please do this for me, my love." My voice broke as I spoke and she embraced me fiercely.

I attempted to speak again through my tears but she placed her fingertips against my lips and pulled me toward the bed. "Here all is truth," she whispered and then I was in that space. That magical space and time where planning and politics and fear were nothing and Dani was everything. Just Dani and the feel of her skin everywhere. And everywhere. And everywhere.

Later, I don't know how much later, we lay in the bed in a kind of spent stupor. Dani lifted herself up onto on elbow and continued tracing my skin with her fingertips. "Tara, if I ask you only one question will you tell me the truth?"

I took her hand and gently kissed the palm. "Anything, my love. Anything."

She took a breath and looked away. When she spoke her voice sounded small and scared and her question shocked me for I had not even considered such a suggestion. "Will you meet your husband at this wedding?" I sat up quickly and grasped her wrists in my hands but I could not find the words to answer her question. In truth, I was so busy wanting to keep her from the wedding that I had not even considered my future.

"No. I will not."

She rolled over and pulled my arms to wrap around her body. "I know what you must do, My Lady, but I do not want us to have a husband." I attempted to soothe and shush her but she had started crying as I had never seen, even the night of her marks. I could not make out everything she said but bits and pieces were clear. She cried that losing your will was the worst thing that could happen. That to give up her body would break her soul again and again. I rocked her and rocked her as she fell into an exhausted sleep.

Again I must admit to my own shame that I had never considered this possibility and the effect it would have on my girl. While I had vowed to myself that I would never take a husband, she did not know this fact. And she was quite perceptive in understanding what it would mean to her for me to take a husband. Surely, any man I married would have five-marks for I would never have been expected to marry less. And suppose that I took his marriage in order to bear my magic user. I feel nauseous to think of it but I would have … performed as I needed in order to bear my heirs and no more. I would never even spend the night with a husband and he would little miss me, given his choice of women happy to enjoy marks-rights with him. But Dani? How would I keep him from enjoying those rights with her. With my girl? We would have no defense against him.

And to use her words it would break her soul again and again.

Again and again.

Oh Creator! Why did it take me so long to understand her words? Still I did not listen. Still I could not hear her. For three years I took her will. I broke her soul again and again and still I did not see.

I endeavored to wake before my girl and the first words I said to her were my vow, my promise which I made on my mother's memory and my very title that I would never take a husband. And my girl, of course, attempted to soothe me. She said that I should not be so hasty and that we did not know what the future would bring. Her eyes when she mentioned the future were so sad that I thought for a moment we would both fall into the abyss and never be found but she looked away and seemed to shake the mood. Then she slid from the bed and onto the floor to kneel, a position which I mirrored, so unwilling to was I to have her thus, and repeated that I must do what I must and that she was my servant always. That my wishes were hers always. I kissed her over and over and we stayed long enough in our room that Briena knocked on the door at mid-morning to ask if we were in need of anything.

Over the next two weeks, my girl's mood was dark. Oh she still performed her duties greater than any other servant could, but she was saddened and I hated to see it. When she could find an inroads in our private conversation, she again asked me, begged me to take her with me to the wedding. She wept and pleaded that she did not want to be so far from me for so long, that she loved me and was worried what might happen to me without her protection. Her mood she hid from those around us so that no one suspected the pain I inflicted on her but I could see it daily and I attempted to comfort her as I could.

I feel sick to think of it now. She told me so clearly how I had taken and hurt her and I comforted her with a repeat of these unspeakable acts.

And yet.

And yet, I sit here confused and conflicted. This is the first time I have gone through our entire story from the beginning and I can see evidence from both sides. Years ago I knew without doubt and without reservation that my girl loved me as I do her. Her actions, her words, support this hope. But the converse of that interpretation is clearly more reasonable: that Dani, led only by my perverse wishes and her binding fulfilled my wants as she would any order. That she did these things, said these words, to satisfy me, regardless of her own wishes. And that she attempted to tell me, did she not, what this meant? But I did not listen at the time and by the time I did, I could hardly look at her.

What else can I say for now? Myself, Stefan, and Jonah left our Estate for Maclay Main the first Sunday in November. My girl rode with us until just after lunch, her fingertips sliding through mine as she turned for home and the sensation of her plea to return home to her quickly and safely tingling against my ear.

Part 15
Epiphany

My company and I rode in relative silence throughout the afternoon. We had long dispensed with the formal processional and took turns at the lead or following in a fluid manner, even allowing Jonah to ride in front of our very short line. More frequently, we rode three abreast at a quick pace but not hurrying. We would camp the night at a stream, really more a river, and meet up with the rest of the family around mid-morning, riding to the Finn Estate in the early afternoon.

I looked greatly forward to this meeting with my extended family. With the exception of Faith and Dawn, I had seen no one else from Maclay Main in over two years. In further evidence of their affection for each other, Melissa would be traveling with the Maclay family rather than her own although she would stay in quarters apportioned to her Estate. Also traveling with the family would be Ursula. I had written her weeks ago to ask her indulgence in accompanying me personally to the wedding. She would be a free and paid employee of our Estate for this short period and her duties would be limited to assisting me with my responsibilities at the wedding and celebration and helping me dress. In no other way, would she be required to fulfill any duties and she would have wide latitude as far as her own involvement in the celebration. She had agreed quite eagerly to accompany us both as a tribute to my Ladyship and the memories of my mother and grandmother and because she desired to see Anne's fine wedding. Her "man friend" as Dani had introduced him years earlier was ailing and would not be making the trip.

Stefan was, by this time, a fine and trusted friend and employee. I relied on him heavily throughout the journey as my spirits lagged following Dani's departure. By mid afternoon I felt as if I were in a sort of herbally-induced stupor. I dozed fitfully astride my mount and seemed to have a mild fever. I woke over and over from dream-filled naps, each time coming awake with a start and looking around me to orient myself. The dreams were a return of my old nightmare-that which had left me for a time after we had moved to Maclay East – my girl with the discordant profiles. One showed her face in joy while the other showed her pain. My dreams were rather... intimate but as my girl was about to reach the pinnacle of our passion she would turn her face to gaze at me and her joy would dissolve into horror and pain. I woke at that moment over and over that day until I finally called a halt to our journey and, giving no explanation, handed my reins to Stefan as I went on foot in search of a few roots I knew from my magical studies. They were intended to calm the recipient's nerves and I took my time gathering, then preparing them. Stefan and Jonah waited patiently and quietly as I went about this process, then set out again just as silently once I had taken a liberal dose of the herbs.

The rest of the afternoon I spent again dozing, although this time I was free from these disturbing visions. We hunted as we traveled and stopped to eat and rest long after darkness had fallen in unspoken consideration of our unscheduled stop. I built the fire even before we reached our camp location and the men erected the two tents as I cooked a simple dinner. Our meal was shrouded in a sort of awkward silence until I broke it to discuss our harvest and the events of the wedding celebration. We retired early, agreeing to rise before dawn and depart shortly thereafter.

Not surprisingly, Jonah was awake and warming some corn cakes on the stones by the fire pit when I emerged from my tent. He greeted me shyly but respectfully and indicated that Stefan was at the stream. I excused myself to a copse of nearby shrubs and then joined Master Finn at the stream. He was in a fine mood, whistling as he washed and I teased that he must be very happy to see Faith today. So wonderful a mood did he carry that he did not even deny the source of his joy. We returned to the camp fire cleaner and a bit more splattered with water than we had arrived but both in joyous spirits and hungry after our travel the day before. Jonah handed each of us a plate of the sweet cakes, fruit, and cheese and we ate quickly. Given that we had a few hours to ride before we would encounter the rest of the Estate and approach the Finn lands, we agreed to remain in our riding clothes until we neared the rendezvous. If my companions noticed my taking more of the herbs from yesterday, they did not mention it and I saw no glances between them. Normally I eschew herbs and other intoxicating substances but my sleep had been restless and I could not afford another morning spent in the company of demons. I cut the valerian dose in half to allow myself to stay awake but limit my emotionality.

We rode throughout the morning with long stretches of peace and quiet interrupted by genial conversation. Stefan was very easy-going as I knew and Jonah nearly silent. Nothing about their presence could be offensive and I admonished myself for my snide thoughts as I compared Faith and Anne's respective suitors. My thoughts were not so troubled as the day before, yet I felt as if something were tickling at the edges of my mind. I felt inklings of doubts over a number of topics: my running of the estate, my purposes, Dani's love for me. Each time one of these thoughts arose, I had to close my eyes and breathe deeply to allow the panic to pass.

Yet, that thought, that tickling thought, seemed to encroach further and further into my brain. As the morning went on I began to review my relationship with my girl. And it wasn't just for the sake of enjoying the passing time but I could tell that there was something bothering my mind and heart and I endeavored to discover the source. I almost despaired that I had taken the herbs (and retaken them at mid-morning), yet I needed my power and energy when we approached the remainder of the family. So I, with considerable effort, attempted to investigate my own thoughts and feelings regarding my lover and myself in spite of my numbed state. I inventoried our love affair, creating a mental listing of sweet sentiments, affections shared, professions of love, and a hundred other aspects.

What did I discover from this investigation? That my exertions, my efforts and affections toward Dani seemed much greater than hers and that she was acting in our love much as a servant would act in her relationship with her Mistress.

Ok. That and that it is hard to concentrate on riding and conversing when one's mind is occupied with an inventory of the most intimate and pleasurable aspects of the past three years.

But that discovery was neither troubling nor surprising. My ruminations on her participation, however, were quite troubling for reasons I could not fully identify. I felt unreasonably uncomfortable acknowledging the imbalance in our relationship. Moreover, I questioned whether it was possible to separate our "work" relationship from our personal one. Was it possible that our personal relationship was, in fact, merely part of our "work" relationship? I felt ill as I pondered this question over the hours of our journey.

Perhaps a quarter of an hour after noting this sickening possibility, we spotted smoke in the sky. We glanced at each other with smiles and then speeded up our progress to reach the rest of the family much quicker. Stefan and Jonah fell in behind me but we did not stop to change our dress. If the family had a fire started, they had reached the site early and would be preparing lunch. We could dine together and then prepare for your approach to the Finn Estate a few hours hence. Jonah spotted our group first and gave a hearty yell. Within seconds we could see horses racing towards us and hear Donnie's answering yell. He and Faith reached us first and there was much hugging and kissing (that only between Faith and Stefan) and laughing as we rode back to camp together.

I dismounted before greeting my father formally. We then broke the formality to share a long overdue hug. Next were Melanie, Delam, Anne, Tadre, Delia, Ursula, and the rest of the family. After the formal greeting with my father, the remainder were quite casual with the exception of Anne's. She greeted me as if I were a Lady she had never met and turned her back as soon as we had dropped our hands. I stood shaking my head and continued my greetings.

Shortly, everyone was engaged in a task and I walked down to the creek to wash up. As Faith and Stefan had drifted off together, Dawn came with me and she was in good spirits. While I had no direct authority over Dawn, I had always felt very close with her and felt that she would be candid with me. As we passed the soap back and forth, I asked her why Anne was so cold toward me. I had a fair idea but I wanted to hear confirmation.

Dawn rolled her eyes as she morphed into a reasonable impression of my sister. "I simply can't believe that she would shame me so badly. How can she do it? It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair!" She reverted to her own voice. "She's upset that are insulting her and Master Riley by not bringing D'ni."

"Dani was needed at Maclay East more than at this wedding, not matter how important it is."

Dawn nodded her head. "Of course, Lady Tara."

"You don't agree?"

Dawn ducked under the water to rinse her long hair and rose after a few seconds to begin to wring it out. "There is much work to be done at your home."

I persevered in my questioning. "But?"

"I think that everyone misses Dani and would have liked to see her."

I took my turn to duck under the water, staying a bit longer both to get the soap out of my hair and to think for a few seconds. "And she misses everyone also but I had to think of our needs as well."

"Of course."

I could see that there could be no further purpose to this conversation. I could not break my role to be more honest with Dawn and she could not break hers either. "What is for lunch?"

Dawn smiled, probably happy to be out of the pressure to discuss such a problematic topic. "Stuffed quail and D'Shel's sauce."

I playfully pushed her over into the water and pulled myself out onto the bank as I called, "Well then we should hurry back." We both laughed as we dressed and returned to the camp.

Lunch was wonderful and I realized how much I had missed those amazing sauces. I sat near my father and Melanie and we visited about social matters as well as the condition of both Estates. My father was extremely pleased with our progress at reformation although Melanie complained that I was too thin and questioned whether I worked too hard. She jokingly threatened sending Faith to keep me in line and I retorted that I would be happy to have Faith as well as Dawn for as long as they would come. "And I think that Stefan would be quite happy as well." I indicated the couple across the fire with a smile.

Melanie, of course, saw this as an opening for discussing what she saw as my rapidly dwindling social prospects. "There will be two unattached four-mark men at this wedding. Both are the sons of third generation magic users with bonding for the Ladyships of their Estates." She had taken my hand and was stroking it as she spoke as if attempting to influence me through a spell, which she could not do in the least. I allowed her to inform me of both suitors' pedigree before excusing myself to deliver a note from Dani to her mother. While I did not wish to be rude to my step-mother, I also was not willing to entertain the prospect of marriage no matter how well respected the man's family may be. The thought crossed my mind to tell her that I had no intention of marrying but perhaps I could drag each of them into a broom closet to seduce them and steal their magical heritage. My imagined line had much more vivid language and I smiled as I walked away, noting that my association with and education by Dani had certainly had an influence on my language.

The luncheon break was extended as we all entered two large tents erected for the purpose of dressing. Only when I glanced over while she was in her modest undergarments did I realize that Delia would not be able to take even the topical herbs servants are given during the joining ceremony. Our society values the life and health of any unborn child too much to attempt to drug it. T'dre and I would need to offer her the choice of accepting the marks with no herbs or to postpone her augmentation. While I had no idea who might be the father, I felt the greatest joy for her condition and noticed myself passing my palm over my own flat stomach. Someday...

Having completed her dress, Ursula approached to assist me with my presentation. Through correspondence it had been determined that each of our presentation would reflect our skills and responsibilities. Faith's was a very fine hunting outfit (quite so fine that no one would think of hunting in such a thing), Donnie wore military style dress much like my father, and I wore a very elaborate outfit demonstrating my work on the Estate as well as my position as Lady. Anne was dressed in white as she would be throughout the joining ceremony and her presentation was easily the most bejeweled of the group. Taken together we were quite a handsome and impressive group and the artist accompanying us worked quickly to complete the sketches he would use for painting a portrait after our return.

We amassed quickly into the column with myself at the head. I felt slightly uncomfortable riding in front of my father for the first time. We had not visited another Estate since my marks celebration so this was my first experience doing so. I glanced back at him and he smiled proudly at me. Beyond him I could see D'rek, Ursula, Donnie, and the rest of our contingent. I looked forward again, closed my eyes and pictured the portraits of my mother and grandmother. When I opened my eyes I felt more stately and I gave Dream the slightest nudge with my heels to start her moving toward the Finn Estate.

We reached the Estate gates after about 45 minutes riding and were greeted by the entire personnel of the land, save none. Lady Finn stood two feet or less within the gate with the rest of the assemblage appropriately arrayed behind her. Once I had dismounted, she greeted me with the names of three generations of my ancestry and I did the same. We then touched marks formally and exchanged kisses on the cheek (less formally). Each of us took one step to the right to greet the Lord of the other Estate and greetings continued from there forward. Anne and Riley completed their formal greeting with a very informal kiss to the raucous cheers of both houses.

I was escorted to my rooms by the Lady herself and ensconced by her mark-bound servant. Lady Finn enquired politely as to Dani's disposition but gave no indication of her disapproval of my choice. As my rooms were a suite, it was quite appropriate that Ursula and I should share it and we thanked Lady Finn for her thoughtfulness on this matter. The rest of the family were led to their rooms and our servants quickly joined those on the Finn grounds to prepare for the event.

My father and Melanie were across the hall from my rooms in a larger suite, accommodating Father, Melanie, D'elam, and D'rek. I felt unaccountably happy to note that my father and Melanie would be sharing rooms and, in fact, had done so in all expeditions I could remember. While they had separate chambers at home, having observed that they slept in the same room most nights, I assumed that separation was a matter of business rather than a social decision for them.

I remained with Ursula for a few moments as she began arranging our clothes and other belongings in the wardrobe. Then she shooed me out the door, quite as if I were a child even while she treated me with the respect of my station. I smiled and urged her to take a rest or walk on the grounds as I had heard grand tales of the Finn gardens.

Upon emerging from my rooms, I was greeted immediately by a high- ranking house servant who confirmed that the suite was to my liking and then offered to direct me to my destination. She suggested that I may wish to join the other magic users. This was, in fact, my wish and I praised her and asked her assistance in finding the group. While the Finn castle was no larger than our own, it was certainly no smaller either and I would need a short while to familiarize myself with the directions and contours. My dear love would no doubt have already created a blueprint in her mind and be guiding Finn servants in more expedient routes to the kitchen for cherry tarts.

I met with those magic practitioners who had arrived for the wedding to this point. T'Solde I had not seen and we shared a long hug before she, like Melanie, looked me up and down and admonished me for working too hard and eating too little. I took a seat between her and T'dre to discuss the demonstration to take place the following afternoon. Because the wedding would host so many non-magic users of magical heritage, it was determined that only Anne and Faith would draw the circle. The remainder of the meeting was quite exciting but its technical aspects would probably bore the average person so I will skip the details to report that we created a design that would spotlight the necessary magical aspects in their best appearance.

Once we had dispersed, T'dre and I took a walk in the gardens together and discussed the marking ritual. We had corresponded and my mentor had replied that I was certainly advanced enough in my study to partner in the application of the four marks. Encountering Dale by chance we asked him to bring Delia so that we could discuss the matter of her choice in the marking. Our congratulations were excitedly received and she agreed that it would be her preference to delay the taking of her marks until such a time as her child would be free from the herbs. She would accompany her Mistress to the tent but would not take the marks at this time although they would be drawn with pen for the presentation. Officially and magically her marks would not rise from three to four until they were complete but few three mark men would dare take advantage of that technicality (and I'm not sure that Delia would have been offended had they).

After Delia departed T'dre asked after Dani and I reported that she was needed at Maclay East. My beloved mentor took my hands in her own and lifted my chin with her fingertip. "Lady Maclay. Is there anything you wish to talk about?"

I felt shocked about the directness of her question but why should she not be direct? My rank was higher than hers but she was quite well respected and was my mentor, knowing me as well as any other, save D'ni, for the past eight summers. I remained silent for a few minutes before choosing my words carefully. "I do not wish to marry, well nor otherwise."

T'dre remained silent perhaps a long as I had done. "I, as well as any other perhaps, can understand that wish." She took a breath. "Your station would seem to demand some compromise on this point."

I rolled my eyes only a little. "As my step-mother and sister have reminded me in the past few hours, weeks, days, and lifetime."

T'dre returned a laugh at my comment. "You would allow your title to fall to Donnie's daughter when you must vacate it and your considerable magical power to go unused?"

"I did not say I did not wish an heir, only that I do not wish a husband."

"Perhaps you could pull one of the eligibles into a supply closet during the celebration." She winked at me as she spoke and I applauded at her suggestion.

"My exact thoughts!"

"This will certainly the most eligible group of Lords and Masters you could hope to encounter," Tadre complimented our ridiculous plan.

"Again as Melanie has reminded and reminded me."

I was not prepared for Tadre's next change of subject. "I had so hoped to see Dani. Your appearance and temperament is perfectly complimented by hers."

"I'm quite sorry that she was so needed at home," I lied. "She sends her best."

Tadre seemed to study me. "You are in better spirits when with her. It is fortunate that you will have her companionship and love always.

I could not stand it and looked away as if studying the grass beneath our boots intently. When I spoke my voice was breaking. "I always b-believed so."

Tadre continued tracing the lines of my mark with her fingertips. "I still believe it so, Lady Maclay. You are perfectly suited."

"A fact which could seem more to my advantage than hers," I whispered.

Tadre seemed about to speak but Lalla came round the corner and I pulled away from my mentor. Lalla bowed to me and then informed us that other guests were beginning to gather in preparation for dinner. We glanced at the sun simultaneously and I noted that time had apparently gotten away from us. I would need to dress for dinner quickly as would Tadre. "I enjoyed the visit, T'dre," I said as we started from the garden.

"As did I, Tara. If you should wish to continue our conversation, I am at your disposal."

I appreciated her sentiment but could hardly bring myself to reveal any more of my soul than I had already done. It was a moot point as we encountered Anne at the head of the hallway to my rooms. She was polite and respectful but pointed in asking if I needed any assistance to prepare to lead our Estate in to dinner. I thanked her equally politely for her offer but that Ursula was perfectly capable of helping me to dress. I felt grateful once again that I would return to Maclay East while she remained at the Finn Estate. Her behavior so far had been tolerable but far less respectful than I would have hoped. While I could see her injury in my choice to leave Dani at home, she was bordering on throwing a tantrum and that would not do. I resolved to drop a hint to Melanie this evening and she would surely correct Anne's behavior.

True to my word, I was prepared for our entrance a mere 15 minutes later and I led the Maclay Estate into the grand ballroom to the attention of over 300 guests. It was clear from the bows that we were held in highest esteem regardless of my dawdling and my lack of a bound servant to accompany me. We mingled a few minutes before being called to seats by Lady Finn. Father, Melanie, Anne, and myself took our places at the head table with Lady Finn, Lord Finn, Riley, and all our mark-bound servants. In my case, Ursula was of course seated to my right although I had excused her from all responsibilities until the time came to release me from this dress. While beautiful and elegant it had more fasteners than I knew could be contained by one garment and I felt as if it were pressing everything from my waist up. Of course, Melanie had supervised construction of the thing so she would have seen it as an advertisement to the eligible Masters. Creator, how tight would it have been if I ate as much as my step-mother seemed to wish? Speaking of eligible Masters, she glanced around the room somewhat forlornly as if wishing I were sitting at one of those tables. We were seated near each other at the table and she made sure to point out my two possibilities by the time my wine glass was filled.

Lord Finn sat on my other side and he gained my attention immediately. "I'm so sorry that D'ni could not make it. I hope she is well?"

Hope she is well? I'm sure he does. I thought but I swallowed the bile in my throat. How could he want to impose his wishes on my girl when she could not refuse him? It sent a shiver up my spine and I thanked the Creator that I had made Dani stay at home as I took a long sip from my wine glass. "She is quite well and wished to come but her considerable talents were needed at home."

"I'm sure," he nodded, raising his glass as well.

The food was delicious and I enjoyed the conversation (save that of husbands and heirs). At the conclusion of the meal, Lady Finn, myself, Lord Finn, and Father made extravagant speeches welcoming the guests, praising our hosts (each other in this case), and lauding the love between the marital couple. Again, I would claim to have done myself and my station proud with my speech and I saw a more than a few teary eyes throughout the room when I took my seat again with a long sip of my wine.

As it was not appropriate to have dancing the night before a wedding, the Finns had arranged for a traveling troupe of actors to deliver a performance in the grand ballroom. A stage was quickly constructed as guests milled about (a time during which Melanie seized the opportunity to introduce me to not one but two potential suitors).

How to describe the suitors? The first was a Master Wesley Wyndam- Pryce. His father was ailing and his mother I had met earlier – a Lady and 3rd generation magic user – so his pedigree was quite everything that Melanie had promoted. The Wyndam-Pryce estate, was larger than Maclay Main but not as large as the two Maclay estates combined. His appearance was quite impressive and I could have no complaints on that account. As soon as Melanie departed on another errand, he enquired as to my fortunes on Maclay East. I began to discuss our reformations politely but he quickly cut me off to narrow his focus to ask after the library at our estate. He virtually salivated at the thought of so many books in one place and claimed to have wished to visit our library, based on tales only, more than any other goal in his life. More that any other goal? More than to marry well or hunt or raise his children? More than helping the people of his Estate? To visit the books in our library? He elaborated (greatly and repeatedly) over this book and that (all based on rumors) and taking my hand in his (a gesture I found impertinent and inappropriate) passionately pleaded his case to visit Maclay East (a request I found equally impertinent and inappropriate).

Rude as his deportment may have been, I was obligated to better it and did so, inviting him in sweeping terms to visit us and spend as long as he wished in our library.

If discussing the library caused sweat beads to break out on his forehead, the invitation seemed likely to undo him in total. He stumbled over his gratitude and excused himself, purportedly to refill his wine glass.

Spotting the break in my conversation, the second suitor was nearly dragged over by his mother (a beautiful woman of indeterminate age) Lady Darla Masterson. Dear Creator. Master Angel seemed to remove all sunlight and joy from his surroundings. He wore dark clothes and hulked above me but kept his eyes on my neck or feet throughout our short and dull exchange. He was, without a doubt, the most morose and broody man I've ever met. I wondered if allowing children to bounce balls off his high forehead would even gain his attention for he seemed possessed by a demon and unable to truly interact. When not fixating on my neck, he seemed fixated on Anne and muttered to himself as if I were not present. The interview was, in short, insulting and depressing and I excused myself as soon as I could do so politely. M'lissa, next to whom I sat during the performance, reported that he was notoriously in poor mood even though his Estate was famed for its economic success and although he was renowned as a hunter and dancer.

I sat through the performance thinking of these two suitors. Were they truly the best my station could offer? Perhaps it was just that I was so uninterested in being courted by them for they were, by my admission handsome, elegant, well educated, accomplished in hunting and riding, and from very good families. But to marry one of them? The thought of it and more importantly of Dani subject to their desires, was abhorrent to me. My girl should never have to defend herself from those advances. Her body was her own and must be her own and this determination grew stronger and stronger to me as I sat there. In fact, I became quite agitated as I pondered this offense and surreptitiously swallowed a draught of the herbs I had prepared with a sip of wine. The herbs worked blessedly quickly and effectively and I watched the remainder of the performance in a much more relaxed state.

I have described much which is indefensible in terms of my treatment and advantage over Dani. But as regards the application of these herbs, please understand that at no point would my judgment nor performance have been impaired. Their strength was no more than a glass or two of wine but the focus was directed solely at relaxing my anxiety and in this purpose, they stood me well.

The conclusion of the performance saw great applause for the troupe and more socialization. I was able to reconnect with many of my peers (in age if not rank) and enjoyed myself extensively. Anne was much more cordial to me, perhaps guided by her vision of myself purporting myself well at the event. Or perhaps her behavior had been witnessed and corrected by Melanie without my approaching my step-mother. In any case, she was polite and even friendly with me throughout the remainder of the evening.

I was not the last person to leave the ballroom but was far from the first as well. I spent little more time with Master Wyndam-Pryce and even less with Master Masterson. Each came over one time: Pryce to praise the library once again and repeat how much my invitation meant to him and Masterson to mumble questions regarding my hobbies (not the worst topic he could have chosen but I was no more interested in him than he in me). I reached my rooms and felt badly that I had to wake Ursula for her assistance in removing myself from my garment.

I feel almost immediately into what was, initially at least, a deep and untroubled sleep. Obviously I was tired from my ride and my social interactions and this allowed me some much needed rest. And rest I did.

For perhaps three or four hours. I woke in complete darkness and had to orient myself to these surroundings as I cast my hand out to find Dani sleeping next to me. But my hand fell on empty covers and I sat up and shook my head as I fuzzily remembered that she was not with me but at home. Immediately before my waking I had been having the most glorious dream which involved Dani quite intimately and it was hard now to settle myself that she was not present. I found that I could not stop shaking and wrapped my arms around my legs as I sat up in bed and began to rock. I've described the dream as glorious but I had a terrible feeling of foreboding concerning it. I knew that in the next instant it was going to turn terrible. Dani's face would change from that enraptured look I loved to the expression of horror I had seen in my head the last few days so forcefully. I don't know how I knew this but it was as clear as if she were sitting in my room and crying in my arms. I hurt for her and I hurt to be with her. Hours passed as I sat and rocked myself and attempted to meditate and to bring sleep's return. I even called on our magical bond to attempt to speak to her but it was no use over the distance.

My memories of the night pass into confusion as I can not tell whether I was awake or asleep. Eventually I dozed and dreamed my recurring nightmare and this time it was more violent than ever before. My girl cried and cried in pain and I could not stop hurting her over and over. I heard her voice and thought that I woke and heard her shouting that I must stop. That I had become a monster and she my play- thing. I started to the sound of her voice but found the room silent. I believed myself to be awake and then Ursula was shaking tapping my shoulder to gently bring me to the present.

"Lady Tara?"

"Dani? No, Ursula. Ursula?" I had trouble focusing on her face and grasped her upper arms, probably too hard, as I tried to understand what was happening.

Ursula took a few deep breaths, no doubt attempting to urge me to do the same. "Yes, it is Ursula, Lady Tara. You were dreaming?"

I closed my eyes hard and took a few deep breaths along with my guide. "I... yes... dreaming...." I looked around the room, still attempting to place myself. "This is the Finn Estate?" She nodded. "Dani is not with me?"

By now I had dropped my hands and she picked them up and stroked my mark. "Yes, Lady Tara. Anne is to be married today. Dani is not here. We could send a messenger and she would come?" I shook my head vigorously both to refuse the suggestion and to clear my thoughts. "Would you like me to send for Miss Faith?"

I considered this suggestion for only a moment. "No. Thank you, Ursula. I would like to meditate in the gardens. Could you get me some fruit and a roll while I dress?"

Ursula virtually leapt to her feet. "Of course. I shall return in five minutes." She was true to her word and handed me a small camp kit with a decanter of milk. I had already hastily dressed in my riding clothes and took the kit from her. Dressing had allowed me to brush the cobwebs from my mind but I still needed the opportunity to focus. I asked Ursula to accompany me so that she could return to fetch me when I needed to dress for the magical display. I ate as we walked and handed my temporary servant the kit and bottle, then found a suitable spot and arranged the time for Ursula's return.

My mind may have been a muddle and my heart on the verge of the greatest pain I had ever experienced but that would not mean that I would dare to disrespect my gifts. My day would include the largest magical display of my life as well as the most advanced marking ritual. I quickly fell into a deep mediation, tracing the origin and purity of my magic back sixteen generations before Ursula returned. I was again grateful that she who had been servant to my grandmother was available to serve me this short week. She took a seat opposite me and joined her breathing to mine before using it to pull me out of my mediation.

I opened my eyes refreshed and fully present to the day ahead and reached out to take the bottle of water Ursula extended toward me. "Thank you, Ursula. I do not know what I would do without you this week."

She helped me to my feet and assured me that the pleasure was hers. We reached my rooms quickly and without incident and I saw that she had drawn my bath before fetching me from the gardens. I undressed and pulled my underclothes from the drawers as she warmed up the water and then accepted her assistance to step into the tub. The bath was not nearly the enjoyable event that it always was with my girl but it did the job and I stepped quite glistening from the water not half an hour later. Ursula set my hair and headdress and assisted me into my dress. If I had thought the piece from last night elaborate, it was nothing compared to today's selection. This gown would proudly display my Ladyship's assets both economic and otherwise and I blushed as I caught a glance of myself in the glass. Dani's gown, for my step-mother had not believed that I would leave my girl at home, matched mine and I mourned the opportunity to see her thus attired.

Fortunately or unfortunately, pageantry for the magical display was not a priority so much as the invocation of the magic itself. Nonetheless, I encountered my father, Melanie, Donnie, Anne, and Faith at the head of the hallway and accepted their compliments on my appearance and blessings for my purity and power. Faith looked wonderful in her gown but Anne put us all to shame with a gown befitting the bride and one from an Estate such as ours. I hardly hesitated before taking a knee in front of her and bringing down my house with me. I stood and gathered her into my arms with tears in my eyes for truly, this display of magic would symbolize the beginning of her ceremony and my little sister would be Anne Maclay of three marks no longer but Anne Finn, four-marked Lady-to-be of the Finn Estate. Melanie leapt forward garnishing a handkerchief for both of our eyes, wanting not to mar our paint and we laughed at her concern. I led our family in prayer and then I allowed Anne to lead Faith and myself from the corridor and into the courtyard where we encountered the other magical practitioners-twenty-three as of this moment.

Introductions were made hastily of those who had arrived recently and compliments paid appropriately. Lady LeFleur had arrived late in the night as well as four other practitioners I had met only briefly. This being our third common event, I had a growing affection for the LeFleur Estate. While I knew little of their history, they seemed kind and generous people in spite of their loss of respect. Reports from servant to servant, of course reaching me through Dani were quite favorable as far as their conduct was concerned. Lord LeFleur seemed neither less nor particularly more interested in sharing marks-rights with various servants and Lady LeFleur's interests were very discrete as well. The events which had led to their low standing seemed unlikely in retrospect and yet, I could hardly judge a past I didn't know.

According to the agreements we had reached the day before, we took our places in the circle-Lady Finn and myself at the center and facing T'Solde with the rest of the circle progressing through a complex system of rating magical power and Estate renown. Lady Masterson sat two spaces from T'Solde with Lady Wyndam-Pryce next to her. Anne and Faith drew the circle and then stepped away as Lady Finn and I together initiated the demonstration. This ritual was both traditional, dating from before the first Lady Maclay had taken her marks, and progressive as it changed with each and every joining. We invoked the same spell which had been performed hundreds, even thousands of times-the same spell which had been cast at my mother's wedding and would be cast at my own if I allowed it. We then passed control to T'Solde who modified the spell in the most minute but discernable way before passing it to her neighbor. By the time it had reached myself again it was barely recognizable as that which I had handled so recently. I pride myself that I added some artistry and color as there was enough power already and then passed it to my host, Lady Finn, who completed the spell with the traditional conclusion.

In short, and it is quite too late for that I fear, the spell was gloriously successful and was seen by all as a harbinger of a successful joining. Anne and Faith broke the circle and we embraced to celebrate our magic. Two luncheons were provided: one for we who had been involved in the practice as well as associated servants and one for the remaining majority of guests. Ours was set up on tables nearby and we all moved there quickly to take the meal. I recognized the wine served as coming from Maclay East with a smile but drank little as I would need to perform specialized magic this afternoon. This private meal gave practitioners the opportunity to discuss our production and socialize in private. I suspected her intentions when T'Solde noticed an old friend at the other end of the table and offered her closer seat to Lady Wyndam-Pryce. By my easy admission she and Lady Masterson were quite gregarious, intelligent, and easy to converse with. Their Estates I could easily hold in high esteem and they seemed to promote the same without seeming propagandistic. My success in the display could be detected by noting the commitment each held to purporting her own superiority without seeming to compete with the other. In this way, I realized that I was being courted as much by the Ladies of these Estates as by their sons.

T'dre and I caught each other's eye and excused ourselves from the meal as early as we had finished and could respectfully do so. The joining was scheduled for two thirty to allow time to complete the marks before sunset. We took the opportunity to again meditate and I allowed her to lead us on a mental exploration of the marks. Ursula and Lalla stepped forward to hand us the scrolls when we asked and we discussed them thoroughly. We then embraced and circled around to approach the marks-tent from the side.

The wedding crowd had already gathered including Lord Finn, Master Riley, his brothers, my Father, and Donnie. T'dre took her place between Master Riley and my Father and I stood between her and Father while Lady Finn stepped forward to stand between Tadre and Master Riley. Tadre nodded her head and the band struck up the Wedding March. First down the aisle were Melanie and D'elam, then Faith and Dawn, then Delia and finally Anne. All were stunning in their custom-made gowns and there was no doubt that the Maclay Estate was the pride of the gathering. When Anne reached us, my Father took her hands and whispered to her for a few minutes. Then it was my turn and I took her hands in my own. I could no more explain the astronomy books Dani and Giles enjoying arguing about than recall my words to her. I know that I spoke of our family, Melanie and Father's love, and her beauty as well as her love for Riley and his for her. I gave her my blessing that she should bring heirs to her Ladyship and his Lordship quickly and healthily.

When I had finished Tadre took Anne and Riley's hands, matched their palms mark-to-mark, and conducted the ceremony, asking their commitment and love as well as respect for the ranks the other held and would hold. Father and I, Lady and Lord Finn added our enthusiastic approval of the union of our families and Tadre pronounced it so. The crowd applauded loudly as Riley and Anne shared a kiss which left no doubt as to his manli-manliness nor her beliefs in the same. When the applause had subsided somewhat, the immediate family offered our congratulations. T'dre and I were given our gold tokens and we led the married couple, Forrest, and Delia into the marking tent. Gael and Dante, the Finn healer, were on hand and the marrieds were quickly given their herbs. After sharing a prayer, we applied the marks to both Forrest and Delia (Delia's done with ink only of course and Forrest's supported by his Master) as we waited for the herbs to take full effect on the newly married couple.

As I've indicated before, the marks applied for a marriage are not nearly so elaborate as one's initial marks. Anne gained the fourth finger on her hand as well as the Finn marks on the back of her hand and Riley took an approximation of Maclay marks on the back of his hand. My work with Tadre was like returning to an old friend and we traded tasks seamlessly and wordlessly while humming our spell. We finished and shared a second prayer to The Creator and our gratitude that our magic had been successful. Then the healers applied more herbs, giving them to Forrest as well this time, and the couple stepped from the tent to extend their marks. The reception was wonderfully respectful and generous and Riley formally invited all attendees to dinner and dancing in the grand ballroom.

Tadre and I stayed a little longer in the tent. Ursula and Lalla had joined us shortly after Riley and Anne departed and they offered us water as we rested. By our judgment it had been a very successful marking ceremony and we wanted to take a few minutes to bask in our private glory. Tadre smiled at me. "Soon you will surpass your mentor in skill as well as power, Lady Tara."

I shook my head. "I do not think that will happen for many years." I kneeled at her feet and kissed each of her palms reverently. "You will be my mentor and superior as long as we both live." She could not argue with my respect but thanked me for it.

Given my station, the diners had waited for my arrival and I joined the party at the head table. My speech was first and I concentrated on toasting the couple and thanking our guests for attending. Lady Finn spoke next, expressing similar sentiments. Dinner was served and I able to relax while enjoying the meal for none of my suitors nor their mothers were seated at my table – only the Finn and Maclay elite. The wine was, again, from Maclay east and I indulged perhaps more than I should have but my commitments were few and I took advantage.

Father and Lord Finn broke the meal with the announcement that the dancing would begin in fifteen minutes and the guests moved to the adjacent ballroom for cake and other delectable treats while this room was being prepared for dancing. The large cauldron in the corner was filling with presents – coins and jewels – for the married couple quickly without it being noted who was dropping what riches into it. Shortly we returned to the grand ballroom and Riley and Anne took the floor for the first dance. They looked beautiful and elegant together. The next dance saw Father and Anne and I was somewhat shocked to find myself in Riley's arms. He was quite manly and it was as close as I hoped to come to proof of that fact but he was also a graceful dancer.

The night spun away from there. I danced with a non-stop stream of Lords and Masters, finding my hand holding wine glass after wine glass and enjoying lovely dark-chocolate truffles.

Every moment of it. Every moment made me think of Dani for I could not hear music, dance a step, nor taste a sweet treat without thinking of how much she would love this evening.

And yet, as my mind became more clouded with the wine and sugar, I began to have a realization. My conscious mind started to grasp what my subconscious had been screaming for days. Each dance brought the hand of some nobleman, Lord or Master, to my hip. I could feel the magic of that mark as it tried, unsuccessfully to work on my body. Yet, all around me, servants were falling prey to the magic of the marks. Lords left the ballroom with one servant and another and I could not detect that the women had any particular wish to do so before that hand had been placed on her hip. This would happen to Dani. Would have happened to Dani had I brought her.

She would be without defense against the magic.

I was dancing with Lord LeFleur and he was again asking after Dani, saying that he had so wished to rematch her at Chest, when my most shameful realization struck me like a bolt of light from the Creator.

She was not just without defense against the magic of the Lords. She was without defense against me. Against my wishes and desires. Against my passion for her.

"Are you ok, Lady Tara?" When I did not answer Lord LeFleur led me to the side of the floor and to a chair, waving Ursula over. "Perhaps she is overtired?" He handed me a glass of water but I found I could not take it from him. I could not focus on his face and his voice sounded quite far away. I attempted to gain control of myself even as I realized the depths of my perversion, of my using my girl. Even as I confronted the truth that I had taken her dignity, stolen her soul over and over. And she had tried to warn me, had tried to tell me what I was doing but I could not, would not, listen.

Only my years of training allowed me to speak in a level tone to my recent dance partner. "Thank you for the dance, Lord LeFleur. I think I am feeling tired from the day and will retire to my rooms."

"Of course, Lady Maclay." He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Please give my best to Dani when you see her."

"Perhaps we should get you to bed, My Lady?" I nodded to Ursula and took her hand as we made our way from the crowded ballroom. My mind was filled with evidence after evidence of the ways I had violated Dani and I felt sick. I stepped from the garden path between some bushes and was sick to my stomach until I had lost everything I had eaten. "Oh Tara," Ursula said (only somewhat inappropriately), "something you've eaten hasn't agreed with you." She took my arm and led me to the exterior door of my hallway and into my rooms without our encountering another guest. I felt very grateful that she was so discreet and that we did not encounter Melanie for I hardly think I could have stood a lecture on wasting the time I should have been dancing with either of the two eligible men.

Once inside, Ursula quickly helped me to undress, washed my face, and handed me my toothbrush. She tucked me into bed and gave me a kiss on my forehead and asked if I needed anything further. I shook my head and waited for her to leave.

I could not wrap my mind around the horror of my actions. I sat there the entire night attempting to make sense of this realization. To understand how I could have abused my girl so horribly in the name of love. To have taken something that should be so sacred and beautiful and twisted it. In my mind I walked around and around this thing. Did Dani love me or was she being a faithful servant? Had I loved her or abused her? How could I know? What could I do to ease my actions? I cried hundreds, thousands, and more tears. By dawn I was simultaneously horrified with myself and clear that I could not carry this horror through the next day.

I would have to conduct myself with all the dignity required of my rank. I rose from the bed and drew myself a bath. I was so quiet that Ursula did not come into the room until I was preparing to get into the bath. She ensured that I was feeling better and offered me some kaffee which she had conveniently brought and which I accepted happily. I agreed that I must have eaten something which did not agree with me and that combined with my exhausting day and wine consumption had done me in. I assured her that I had had a restful night of sleep and thanked her for her assistance in getting me into bed safely and warmly.

The remainder of the day was spent socializing and attending political meetings-frequently the two intentions were combined. While I found myself having to take deep breaths and consuming a volume of kaffee that would have put even Dani's consumption to shame, I represented my Estate quite adequately. At the meals I was sociable and gregarious and after dinner I received explicit and specific invitations to visit the Wyndam-Pryce and Masterson Estates at my convenience and for as long as I chose. I responded to both invitations in such a way that I made my appreciation for the offer obvious without indicating a date for those visits.

After dinner entertainment was a loose social milieu in which some guests merely visited while others played games of chance or skill in one of the three ballrooms. Anne and Riley put in a long appearance and seemed to divide the room equally to ensure that each socialized with all the important families. My sister was quite glowing and seemed to have even forgotten the slight she believed I had paid her union by leaving Dani at home. It seemed that my magical display as well as marks artistry had been seen as very powerful and precise and my episode at dinner the night before, rather than bringing any shame to the family, had shown that I was willing to give all I had for my art and responsibilities. I had awoken this morning much the lower in my soul and heart but much higher in the eyes of all present. Had I a dance card, it would have been filled with Melanie attempting to scribble on the very edges. Having left the reception early the night before I was virtually required to stay extra long this night and I did. The added benefit was that by the time I reached my bed I knew I would be too exhausted to stay awake even to contemplate my own folly.

And sleep I did, taking another draught of my herbs before lying down and one when I woke in the night. My sleep was filled with dreams and nightmares but they blended together in such a way that they did not wake me so much as make me feel a sense of shame and dread. I could not deny the pain of my actions but I understood that I would have to deal with them.

It was not until I awoke that I stumbled upon the suspicion that Dani could be gone from the Estate when I returned. I had never been gone so long nor so far from her and what if the magic did not work at this distance? What if she convinced herself that her leaving was what I truly wanted? Would she be able to leave? If I could leave for the wedding, perhaps she could believe that I intended her to be gone when I returned? I spent a few minutes truly panicked over this possibility, then relieved that I would not have to face my own shame upon my return, then realized that my suspicions were the product of my paranoia and guilt. Of course she would not have left Maclay East. She would have stayed there and done a superb job of running the Estate in my absence just as she had always done everything she believed I wanted. Everything I had wanted.

I rose and dressed in my traveling clothes to join my family at breakfast. The Finns had provided several dining rooms with multiple tables in each to allow Estates the opportunity to discuss any necessary business before departing today. Anne and Riley joined us for breakfast and it was a busy but jovial affair. Melanie seemed sad that we children would be heading in four different directions today. Donnie was returning with M'lissa to her Estate and then on a horse-buying expedition. It was expected that he would not return to our home until late Spring or even Summer. Anne and Riley were departing next week for a three-week wedding trip, then returning to the Finn Estate before visiting Maclay Main in a few months. Faith would be returning with Melanie and Father while Stefan, Jonah, and myself would of course be returning to Maclay East. I was quite effusive in my invitations to any and all to come and visit for as long as they could or wished.

My Father's group would be leaving directly after breakfast and we would leave within a few hours. Per custom, I would meet with Lord and Lady Finn once more to ensure that our contributions to the wedding had been sufficient and settle any outstanding accounts.

Maclay Main departed shortly thereafter to many tears from myself and my companions as well as our family and loved ones. Estate after Estate departed and I noted the number of Lords and Ladies who sought my Father, Melanie, or myself to give best wishes before departure. We, of course, did the same. The LeFleurs again asked that I pass their thoughts to Dani and it was clear that they had genuinely missed the chance to see her once again while Masters Wyndam-Pryce and Masterson both appeared dressed in their finest regalia with the obvious intention of leaving me the best possible impression. In truth, both gentlemen were quite handsome and accomplished. Were I interested in a husband in even a little, either of them should have made an adequate choice.

My meetings with the Finns went gloriously well. The wedding had been a complete and utter success and had raised the estimations of both the Maclay and Finn Estates. Two of Lady Finn's nieces had received formal intents to propose over the course of the celebration and similar contracts had been initiated for many families. Our accounts stood in good standing with the Finns and I arranged transfer of an additional 10 sheep and goats at the conclusion of the summer from Maclay Main. Lord Finn excused himself near the end of the meeting and Lady Finn enquired as to my meetings, particularly promoting Master Wyndam-Pryce who was a grand cousin of her sister's husband. I praised Master Wesley's skills and personality while insisting that I had much greater work to complete at Maclay East before I could concentrate on my social life. Given our relative stations, she could not possibly challenge the idiocy of my response and wished me great speed in accomplishing the reformations at my home.

I accepted her good wishes in the manner in which they had been given and we embraced before breaking the meeting. The wedding had been a challenging event to coordinate but working with Lady Finn had allowed me the opportunity to learn a great deal about putting on such an event and I thanked her for her example. I could believe I had formed a friendship by the time I departed immediately after lunch.

Compared to the elegance and formality of the celebration, our departure was anti-climactic. We were seen to the gate by Anne, Riley, Lord Finn, Lady Finn, and Stefan's father (also Master Finn). Before breaking our embrace I handed Anne the locket which had belonged to our grandmother and which contained minute drawings I had completed last month of her and Riley's likenesses. I knew that my sister had long loved that locket and the tears in her eyes when she realized what I had given her were all the reward I desired for such a gift.

And then we were off on our journey home. We hoped to camp tonight near the Dreint river and reach Maclay East before dinner time the following night. Given our horses, the smallness of our party, and our skill at riding our estimation was quite reasonable. I rode in the lead for perhaps an hour before inviting Stefan to take a turn. He rode so for a shorter length of time and then we all drifted into a loose group three-abreast.

Our riding formation was quite relaxed and it allowed or perhaps forced me to reconsider the realizations of my past few days. I felt horror, shame, and guilt over my treatment of Dani. While my intentions had been nothing but loving (or so I wanted to believe), the outcome had been the same. I had taken advantage of her body and never known or asked what she desired. She had subjugated herself to my wishes, in her words "giving up her soul over and over." I could not even begin to imagine her pain but I began to force myself to do just that. My riding companions left me in silence, breaking the peace only to comment on passing wildlife or vegetation or to excuse themselves for calls of nature.

And so my heart and soul suffered as we rode. I knew that I must take action. I must first off, stop my abuse of Dani. Whether I could gain her forgiveness would have to be secondary to the fact that I must stop treating her in that way. And I admit I wondered whether we could ever have a true relationship. This was the depth of my obsession with her: in the midst of admitting to myself how wrong my actions had been, in the midst of casting about for away to gain her forgiveness, I still craved her. I still loved her, wanted her with every fiber of my being in spite of my mind telling me that no relationship with her would ever be possible.

We had been riding perhaps two and a half hours when I faced the truth of what I must do. It would not guarantee a life with Dani but she would be free from unwanted advances from not only five-marked noble men but from her own Mistress. I halted my horse and informed Stefan and Jonah that I would require a few minute break. I wrote my message quickly but clearly and called Stefan over.

"Master Stefan. I need you to handle an issue for me." He nodded and I handed him the scroll. "Please deliver this to T'dre whom you may be able to catch up to on the Maclay Main expedition. Othewise, deliver it to her at her home and return to Turbren to the Lion's Head Inn as her escort. I expect your discretion in this task."

Stefan bowed in his saddle and accepted the scroll. "Of course, Lady Maclay." He looked back and forth between his servant and myself. "I must suggest, however, that Jonah remain with you."

I attempted to protest but he insisted that he could travel more quickly alone and that he would never be forgiven for allowing me to ride alone. I could see the wisdom of his suggestion but chose to tease him that I felt my magic power and hunting prowess should protect me. He realized my joke and laughed before embracing me to wish me a safe journey. I did the same and he turned and spurred his horse to a gallop.

Jonah and I watched him leave before continuing on our journey home. The remainder of the journey was uneventful. Jonah was a quiet companion for I had realized over the past few years that it wasn't that he lacked mental acuity as Dani had observed but that he was extremely shy and quiet. His silence left me with my thoughts and our late stop, hunt, and meal did nothing to slow them. I took the last of my herbs to assist myself in my sleep and was again left free of the nightmares of the week. I comforted myself that my solution, while it would take Dani from me perhaps forever, would free her from my cruelty and the whims of others of my rank.

We arose early and broke camp before dawn, traveling quickly and quietly and stopping only for a quick lunch and necessities. Given the time of year, the dusk was falling when as we neared our Estate and I admit I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted that Jonah was the first to note the dust being kicked up behind a rider approaching us very quickly.

"I believe that's Dani," he concluded as he pointed toward the billowing dust. Even given my current state, I could not help but smile at the thought of my girl again close to me. Nothing would ever be the same again but I would at least see my girl in a minute. "I ... um... I think Master Stefan wanted me to check on the herd in Ribot pasture, Lady Tara?"

Still watching Dani's approach with excitement I nodded toward his offer. "Yes, Jonah. Thank you for sharing the journey with me." He rode off and I was left waiting for my girl to reach me which she did within the minute.

She was beaming as she approached and she reined Hope to a stop next to me, leaning across to stroke my face with the palm of her hand. "I don't know where your companions are, My Lady, but I am grateful to them for their absence." And then her lips were upon mine and her arms were around me and she had pulled herself from her horse to mine and I realized this is going to be much harder than I planned.

My ill-formed plan was put to the test that very night, for Dani had been trained so very well. She was aware, for how could she not be, of my feelings for her and she had been returning these feelings in serving her Mistress for years. When I pulled away from our embrace she only released me for a moment before hugging me tightly and repeating over and over how much she had missed me, how worried she had been for me, how she had been counting the days until my return. Tears glistened in her eyes as well as mine but I do not think their cause was the same.

She kissed me three more times quickly on the lips before leaping onto Hope's back and then circling me a few times astride her mount. She was verily singing her required joy at my return. Then she began to tease me about presents, asking had I brought her anything and was it bigger than the breadbox in the kitchen. As always, I answered that it was not bigger than a breadbox and she asked if it was smaller than a breadbox and I said that it was not. Again, as always she asked if it was a breadbox and I agreed that it was. She leaned over to kiss me once more and then patted Dream on the rear to get him moving, saying that we needed to get home for the "surprise celebratory" dinner on our return.

I kicked my heels get my horse moving more quickly and took position just in front of Dani as we rode the last few hundred yards to the Estate, feeling very conflicting emotions. On one hand, my girl was right here with me and seemed excited and quite affectionate to have me home. She chattered about the issues she had encountered but interspersed many times how happy she was to have me home, even going so far as to admonish me for leaving her. Only the intimacy of our relationship would have allowed this admonition to pass a servant's lips and, ironically, it was this very intimacy which made my return so terrible. She would be so much better off free from my control a few short days from now.

We entered the gate to encounter Giles and Fredrek who addressed me formally before welcoming me home less formally. I explained that Stefan I had engaged in another task and that Jonah had gone to check the herd, which they reported having noted some minutes earlier.

"We thought perhaps to see Miss Faith."

I nodded as we rode toward the stables. "And it is not for lack of my urging her here that she returned to Maclay Main."

William ran up to us and took the reins of both Hope and Dreams as he clumsily bowed. "Anne was pretty?"

I dismounted and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, assuring him that she had sent it especially for him and hoping to myself that he would not refuse to wash the skin for too long.

Dani dismounted as well and moved her mouth close to my ear as she did so. "You are very sweet, my Lady, and not just in taste. I hope to reward you your kindness later this evening." She had a twinkle in her eye as she turned back toward our oblivious companions and I could not help feeling elated for a moment before the return of my shame and guilt was upon me. This was what she felt was required. What she knew was expected. This feeding of my ego and secret intimations and so much more were what I had taught her to provide. How very terrible a Mistress I had been for so long.

Giles and Fredrek dismounted as well and each grabbed one of my saddle bags. "Please be careful with that one, Fredrek, and take it directly to the dining room." I announced my intention to wash up before dinner and only my invention of a need for her to check on Jonah kept Dani from accompanying me to my rooms. She looked at me oddly but pulled herself back astride Hope and rode away with a quick bow. The others walked me to the outer doors of the building and then we parted ways in the hall.

In my rooms, I quickly washed myself in the basin and changed from my riding clothes into dining presentation. I despaired over the possibility that Dani would arrive while I was still in this private setting and wish to continue our intimate charade. Given this fear, I redoubled my efforts to dress quickly, tossing my riding clothes into a corner behind a chair, and pulling my hair back with a leather tie I found on her dressing tray. I managed to emerge from my rooms just in the nick of time, reaching the bottom of the stairs as she came in the outer door of our hallway. She met me and asked if I would not like to return to our rooms while she changed for dinner. I replied that I wanted to greet the others and would see her in a few minutes in the dining room. She furrowed her brow somewhat but quickly agreed to my agenda.

I advanced to the dining room and greeted the others of my Estate, all of whom bowed formally to me before welcoming me home. We had long ago dispensed of dividing our meals by station, partially because doing so frequently resulted in family meal for five (six if Giles joined us) and a servant meal for seventeen. Rather, we served meals at regular and predictable intervals and any who were present were welcome to share in the meal. We, of course, observed the formalities of rank in determining placement but all present were welcome to eat together. Tonight the table was verily overflowing as everyone wanted to hear my tales of the wedding.

I had brought my sketch pad as well as a few drawings from the hired artist and passed these around with great narration. Throughout the dinner and for a few hours following, I described every detail I could of the wedding: the bride's dress as well as other attendees, Riley's presentation, the marks, the food, the dancing. Jonah leapt in to augment my tales when appropriate and the group listened with rapt attention if I do say so myself. Finally I reached for my saddle bag and began to present the items I had procured for my people. I pride myself that I had gotten something from a rare sweet for Briena to two books for Giles for every soul at the table. Dani, I presented with quite a beautiful scarf at dinner although I had brought her an additional item as well. Finally, the house girls stood with a yawn and began to clear the plates as I thanked them for a delicious meal and repeated my gratitude that I was home again.

Giles and I remained at the table only long enough to agree to discuss the details of the estate in the next few days. He had wanted to discuss them the next day but I allowed that tomorrow would surely be an unusually busy day and perhaps we could discuss the details later in the week. I noticed Dani casting a strange glance my way but she would never contradict me in public.

I was yawning when I reached my rooms, the door pulled open in front of me as a hand reached out to grasp mine and pull me inside. I had no time to protest before I felt myself pressed against the door and a soft but oh so strong body was pressed against mine. Dani's hands were behind my neck and her mouth was on mine and it felt oh so good after this time away. The strength and determination it took me to pull away, rather to push Dani away from me was greater than I can describe for I wanted so badly to take that comfort, to feel her mouth and skin against mine once more. But it would not be once more. It would have been once and then twice and then again and I would send T'dre away, inventing some excuse for her impromptu summary. For I knew that if I lacked the commitment to pull away tonight, with the horror of my actions so fresh in my soul I would never change it. I would always hold and possess and abuse my love and she would never be free of my wants and desires.

"Please, Dani. I am so tired. I wish only to sleep tonight."

My girl was nothing if not persistent. "Sleep of course, Tara." Her hands were at the front of my shirt, gently untying the cord she found there. "I think we can accomplish that so very much better from the bed, don't you?" The last was whispered against my ear as her tongue traced the very contours.

How to stop her? I would not be cruel and I could not use the excuse of my bleeding for she knew my schedule as well as her own and would see that for its lie instantly. "Please." I managed to free myself from my pinning against the wall. "Tomorrow, my love." I cringed as I heard the words issue from my mouth but I there was truly nothing else for it.

Her mouth curled up in a smile at the edges, her vixen smile we always called it and she again whispered in my ear. "If you are so tired, perhaps you would like to lie down and I will make sure you don't have to do anything." Her practiced hands had my shirt open all down the front in spite of my attempts to pull away and they moved to the tie on my trousers. She dropped to her knees and began to place soft kisses on my stomach as she spoke. "Yes, a nice rest for you."

It took so much strength of character, something I had displayed so little in the past years, to grasp her wrists and pull her to her feet. "I m-must sleep, Dani." I turned my face from her but she saw the tears pooled in my eyes.

I had released her wrists and her palm cupped my cheek. "What is wrong, Tara?" When I didn't answer her voice began to shake. "Tara? My Lady? Did I do something?"

"I ... please." I shook as I turned from her and wrapped my arms around myself. "You did nothing wrong, Dani." I turned back and saw the look of anguish on her face. Of course she looked like this. She was only attempting to serve her Mistress and I was rejecting her actions. I leaned forward to place a kiss on her cheek which did nothing to make her feel better.

She cupped her own cheek, tracing the path of my lips, as she shook her head. "Yes, let me get you to bed, My Lady." Her voice shook as a whisper and I could barely hear her.

I bit down on my lip, so strong was the drive to pull her into my embrace but I was resolute, finally realizing an excuse for distancing myself. "I brought you a much finer gift." I turned from her and quickly grasped a sleeping gown from the top of the armoire, surely offending her once again as I did not allow her to hand me the garment. I pulled it over my head as I dug in my saddlebag for the wrapped package within. I wordlessly extended the box. She took it and I was left free to pull off my trousers and slip beneath the covers while her hands were occupied.

She approached the bed and sat on the edge, eyeing me suspiciously before pulling the ribbon from the box, then gave a little cry as she opened the box. Within lay a beautifully ornate dagger. She had mentioned wanting to carry a smaller weapon than her sword on trips to our villages and I had been determined that she could not do so until she possessed something that would display her wealth and standing adequately. I had commissioned the crafting of this instrument nearly six months earlier and it had been brought by Donnie to the wedding. Its worth was perhaps three or four fine horses and this value would be clear to Dani.

She pulled it from the box and twirled it in her hand for a moment, watching the light dance red, blue, and green from the hilt. "This gift is so beautiful and fine as to be hardly reasonable, My Lady." She smirked again. "And you won't even allow me to show my appreciation tonight." She turned and threw the knife, lodging it into the thick doorpost with a smile.

I felt ill to my stomach at her words. Were her actions not only performed in service of our bond but intended as payment for my gifts over the years? I gave her the necklace the night of our marking celebration and that had been the first time we... Oh Creator. I closed my eyes and swallowed heavily, this time leaning back against the pillows and placing my hand over my eyes.

I felt Dani stand up from the bed then and move toward the basin. Then she had returned and was pressing a cold compress against my forehead. "Perhaps this will make you feel better, Tara." I put the cloth over my eyes and heard her stepping away again. Moments later I heard her rummaging in her armoire and shuffling sounds as if she were pulling on a sleeping gown. This in itself was an indicator of the strangeness of the situation as she rarely slept in clothing, enjoying the feel of my skin and the sheets against her own.

Then I felt her weight on the bed but she lay still and distant, apparently unwilling to attempt to touch me again. Perhaps she felt that I must reach out for her, something I could not will myself to do despite my desperate wish to feel her skin on mine and her heartbeat against my chest. My arms shook with the effort involved in resisting reaching out for her this one last time. I took three deep breaths to still my movement and then felt the bed still shaking, for my love was crying quietly next to me. So this was what I had brought her to.

"Tara?"

"Y-yes."

"Did, did I do something to offend you? Was I ... was I too forward?" Her voice shook in no more than a whisper.

I opened my eyes to see tears spilling from her eyes and gently wrapped our fingers together. I could not take advantage of my girl but I could not bear her pain either. "Never, Dani. Never have you offended me."

Her eyebrows seemed to fold down toward her eyes and she bit her lip as she fought to speak. "D-d-did you ... did you meet someone at the wedding? A... Lord of your rank or..." I waited wondering whom else I could have met. "Did you meet someone else? A L-l-lady who might make a better... a more ap..ap..appropriate..."

Oh Creator. My heart was breaking as I gathered her in my arms. "Never, my girl. The only meeting I have ever had that meant anything to my heart was the day you were born."

I began to rock her and rock her as she cried, obviously confused over my bizarre behavior this night. She continued crying and I could hear her muttering what could she have done and how she loved me. Finally she drifted into sleep and I followed shortly thereafter.

Those damn boots on the stairs startle me for I thought even Merie had gone to sleep. I must order her house shoes for she sounds like a bear roaming the house and stairs.

We woke in the morning, somewhat embarrassed at the condition of our red-rimmed eyes and I rolled away from Dani immediately as if afraid I would be burned if I touched her again. She turned away and I heard her sniffle.

"After breakfast, I need you to go into the village with me."

She turned back and studied me for a moment. "Of course, My Lady."

Part 16b
The Boots Arrive

Gods! Now that girl is pounding on the door. "I've told you that I will eat when I am hungry!" I lack patience and she will lack more than that if she does not leave me in peace. The door opens and I swivel angrily toward it. That is absolute insubordination.

"You've told me no such damn thing, Tara Maclay!" Both the sight and sound of Faith striding through the door and slamming it shut behind her are a shock to me. I roll my eyes at her and turn back toward the window but she crosses the room in four strides and grasps my shoulders. "Dawn is downstairs comforting Merie who looks like she's fought three demons and a cougar tonight. Then she will bring you something to drink." She softens her tone. "When was the last time you ate?"

I can not look at her. "I ate breakfast."

She gets up to answer a knock at the door and brings a tray to set on the table next to me, lifting a cup of warm goat milk to my lips. I try to shake my head but she grasps it in her hands and all but forces me to drink. "There. Now, where is Dani?"

I take the cup from her and set it on the table. "Dani is gone, Faith. Now if you will go as well, I can continue sitting here. I'm quite busy."

She raises a hand and I am shocked as she slaps me on the back of the head. "You're quite busy? You're quite an idiot you mean."

I turn my head to look at her incredulously. "I am the Lady of your Estate."

Faith shows the apparent range of her respect for my position as she sits down and begins to pull off her boots. "Well then, you're quite an idiot, My Lady."

Finally my sister has my attention. I take a drink of the milk and glare at her. "You may check insulting your superior off your list for the day. Now why else are you here?"

She barely considers me as she inspects her feet. "We had to ride like the wind to arrive so early today with no notice. Melanie will be all out of sorts with my sudden departure but Master Stefan's note left me little choice but to come."

"Master Stefan was to exercise discretion in completing the task I assigned him."

She crosses the room to use the wash basin on near the armoire. "He used his discretion to send me this note." She hands me a small scroll.

Faith Dearest,

Please attend Lady Maclay. She is not well and I fear makes ill plans. I have been sent to retrieve Miss T'dre and bring her to the village. This can not bode well.

Yours in all things as this,
Master Stefan Finn

I crumple the scroll in my hand. "He should not have contacted you." The goat milk is good after this many hours without food but the taste is bitter. Perhaps Merie warmed it too much?

I wake many hours later for the sun appears to be high in the sky judging by the light in my rooms. "Faith drugged me."

Dawn bows before shrugging in a motion I know she learned from her Mistress. "She felt you needed the rest. I will fetch her now."

She steps from the room and in moments Faith enters. She looks quite a bit more clean and refreshed and this time extends her mark toward me, waits to see mine, and bows before me. "Lady Tara."

"Miss Faith."

She takes the seat Dawn had occupied and hands me a cup of kaffee and a small plate of dinner which I accept from her, taking a sip. "Is this one drugged as well?"

She smiles. "No, My Lady. I am sorry but you were not going to listen to reason in that state."

I take a few bites of the meat. "I understand." I took another sip of kaffee. "You are too late to stop me."

"Stop you from… freeing Dani? From crushing her heart and ruining her life and prospects?"

"Ruining? Crushing? Are you knackered?" I shake my head. "You can not know what I've done."

Faith stands and slips onto the bed to take my hand in hers. "Please tell me, Tara. What is troubling you so?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." I look at her and she continues. "Nothing can make me stop loving you. You are my Lady but first you are my sister. So tell me what you've done or what you believe you've done."

I take more bites of the dinner, finally placing slices of the meat between the roll to form a sandwich as I consider her words. I set the plate away from me and then the cup and then begin my confession. "I have… I have used Dani terribly, Faith. Used her as she should never have been used."

"How is that?"

I look away, out the window although the brightness of the sunlight burns at my eyes. "I have shared… have taken… marks-rights with her."

Nothing could have prepared me for my sister's laughter. "Marks- rights?"

My magic begins to bubble quite near the surface in my indignation at Faith's laughter, her seeming dismissal of the sins I have committed and I take a deep breath and invoke an incantation to pull them back. "Yes, marks-rights. I have violated her. Have taken her trust and pride and given her no choice in the matter." I feel particularly crude and continue. "Many times. Many. Many. Times."

Faith pulls back slightly but I can not tell if she is shocked at my words or shocked at my tone. "I believe you've … what did you call it? Violated her many many times but that's not marks-rights, Tara." She seems to be grinning at finding out that her Lady is so perverse.

I hold up my hand as if instructing a child. "Five marks, Faith. To match the five on her hip. I've taken marks-rights as surely as Lord Finn would."

Faith chuckles. "Lord Finn would take marks rights more surely than you, My Lady. For your marks don't carry the rights." I shake my head and she continues. "Were you not schooled? Your marks don't match her hip – right hand to right hip? – unless you've invented some new position I've never heard of."

I consider this for a moment and admit that she's probably right about the placement of the marks. "Nonetheless, I am her Mistress and she is bound to me. She can't resist me or my wishes so my power over her is as good as marks-rights." I can feel the tears of shame pooling hot in my eyes. "She…"

Rather than laughing my sister takes my hands in hers. "I do not think she would want to resist you, Tara."

"What has she said?" Oh god. Did Faith already know about our relationship?

"She's said nothing. She is the very soul of discretion but no one could mistake the love you two share. I've been praying that you were acting upon it for fear that you might spontaneously combust if not."

A laugh escapes my mouth. "What?"

"Do you think this is the first time this has happened, My Lady?" She looks at me quite like I am the idiot she accused earlier. "How could it? All these hundreds and thousands of Mistresses and their servants, raised together, living together, dressing and bathing together? And all those Lords and Masters not willing to give up their magic users. There's going to be frustration. Creator, I've… well never mind. We're not talking about me."

"This isn't frustration."

"Of course not, Tara. And do you think this is the first time love has happened?" She tipped up my chin with her fingertips. "You love her do you not?"

I smile in spite of myself. "More than my very soul and with every beat of my heart."

Another chuckle. "Perhaps you should have spent a little less time in poetry study and more in common sense." I shoot her a look and she holds up her palms in a playful sign of surrender. "Do you seriously think you are the first Mistress to love her servant? That she is the first to love you so? You don't even listen to your own parents's legend."

"What?"

"When and how was Desiderata freed?"

"How is this even vaguely relevant?" I am tiring of this line of questioning.

"I repeat my question. When and how was Desiderate freed?"

I roll my eyes. "Desiderata was freed in heartbreak the day after I was born. What is your point?" It takes me a moment to grasp what she is suggesting. "You can't be serious, Faith. Desiderata and my mother were … lovers? And Father was what?"

Faith again shakes her head at my apparent ignorance. "Yes, they were lovers as you put it. You forget that Delam knew them from childhood." She sees the shock and hurt in my eyes. "Lady T'rese loved Father. I know that but they married him also because he was acceptable to Desiderata."

"I'm having a little trouble grasping that my mother and her servant were lovers and that they married Father." I shake my head. "And Melanie and Delam?"

Faith smiled. "I knew you would ask that. I don't believe so and I feel quite sure Delam would have said something if so. Actually, I don't think she's particularly interested in any… I just thought the two of you would find a suitable husband eventually." She shivers involuntarily. "Just not that creepy Master Angel."

"Still, that is entirely irrelevant, Faith." I was losing my patience with my sister treating me as a child and acting as if I had done nothing wrong. She should be shouting at me, be shaking me, and instead she was trying to tell me that what I had done was fine, was in fact usual? "I don't think you are seeing the point. She could not resist me. Whether I had marks-rights over her doesn't matter for I hold her bond. Held her bond. She's been doing… this to please me rather than herself and I can't take that!" My voice is quite high and I feel rather that I am screeching, not sounding like a lady at all.

Faith can see that I am upset and again takes my hands and begins to rub the skin. "Dear Tara, you may be right that she has been acting from the bond but she may also want your relationship just as you do."

I think about this for a moment or two. "I hope and pray you are right, Faith. But can she have the ability to say yes if she doesn't have the ability to say no?"

"And now? Now she has this ability, yes?" I nod my head. "But Tara. My Lady. Can you imagine how she feels?"

I look at my sister in total confusion. To what is she alluding? I explain as if she were simple. "Servants are not often freed while their masters or mistresses are alive. When this is done, both the master and servant will feel a relief followed by exhaustion. For the master, this usually lasts a few hours, for the servant a few days. Both are dependent partially on the strength of the bond and the rank of the pair."

Faith rolls her eyes at me and looks as if she wants to strike something. "I'm glad to know that Tadre lent you a scroll so that you could give me the studied answer."

"Your tone serves you ill, sister."

"Your stubbornness serves you equally ill, sister."

I fix Faith with a stern look (which given that my last statement had no effect on her attitude seems questionable but I can not give up my training and breeding so easily). But something has worked for she softens her gaze on me. "With all due respect, Lady Tara, I am trying to ask you to imagine Dani's current position." I look at her stupidly. "If she loves you, as I believe, you have sent her from you. Forced her to give up the binding, no doubt without asking her wishes."

"She could not have given her wishes had I asked." I feel ashamed to admit that Faith is right but I also know that Dani would have said what she believed I wanted.

Faith nods her head. "Nonetheless, she loves you. You have returned from a grand event you did not allow her to attend. The next day you order her separated from you and unbound without adequate explanation. Am I correct so far?"

I nod my head as I take in what my sister has said so far.

"You have fired her from the only job she has ever held. Removed her from her only family and left her stranded in the village weakened for days with no indication that you love her."

My reply is swift and angry, demonstrating how spot-on Faith's accusations have been. "I have shown her my love too many times in too many years."

Faith brushes my hair from in front of my face. "I have no doubt that you have shown her only love all these years, My Lady. But I am asking you to imagine her feelings right now." The import of what Faith is saying begins to hit me and I ball up the bedclothes in a fist. "She does not know why you have discarded her and she is shamed to have been released from her bond. She can not be bound again…"

"And should not be!"

"Certainly. But tell me what you feel she should do now." I scrunch up my face at her question, trying to understand it. "What job could she take now that she will be known as the servant who was released from her bond without explanation?"

"She could be… she … I would hire her as a tutor or steward… She…" I think for a moment. "Oh Creator…." It hits me how Dani is feeling. I did not even tell her that I wanted more than anything for her to return to me freely. I've just left her in the village alone, exhausted and weakened, with no indication of what she has done or reason for her dismissal.

I stand from the bed and feel the world tilt beneath my feet. My eyes are blurry with the tears which have somehow pooled there. I spin around and feel Faith steady me. "Tara? Are you with me?"

"I… I must. We need to … I mean. She's all alone. What does she feel? We must go to the village." I speak so frantically but I can't even tell if Faith can understand my words.

"I don't think you'll need to."

I wasn't even aware that Dawn was in the room but there's that silence with which our servants move once again. I look to see her standing by the window, the same window at which I sat so recently, pointing to something in the courtyard. Faith leads me to the window and I see the most beautiful and heartbreaking sight of my life. Dani is slumped, nearly unconscious, like a child in Stefan's lap while Xander rides next to them on Hope.

My love has returned but I know not to what end.

I rushed toward the door, not caring for my appearance or lack of footwear. I yanked it open and rushed down the stairs, passing through the kitchen which I knew from Dani's research was the quickest route through the house, and out into the courtyard. Faith and Dawn were fast behind me and we reached the riders even as Stefan was helping Dani from his horse and into Xander's arms.

As he dismounted Stefan extended his mark toward me and greeted me with a bow. I can't say that it was the warmest greeting I've ever received but it was respectful enough given my recent behavior. I returned his only summarily and reached for Dani who slumped weakly against Xander's chest. "Dani? Dani?" I brushed my fingertips against her cheek, knowing that tears flowed down my own.

Dani, for her part struggled to lift her head weakly and look at me through unfocused eyes. She seemed to want to smile and lifted the corners of her mouth only the slightest bit before slumping back towards Xander who lifted her completely from her feet. "Lady Tara, she must rest. May we bring her inside?"

His concern for her was both touching and embarrassing as I should have been ushering them inside from the moment we realized their approach. "Yes, come. In m-my rooms." I hesitated a moment before directing them toward my rooms for this had been the very scene of the crime, as it were, but they were the most plush and comfortable. When she was recovered, she could leave them at her earliest but for now, I just wanted to make her comfortable.

We made quite a parade, tracking mud and muck onto the kitchen floors as we passed through and to the back stairs, myself in the lead and Xander immediately behind me. I charged through the door to my rooms which had been left open in our rush to the courtyard and pulled back the covers, fluffing the pillow and smoothing the sheets as best I could. Dawn immediately rushed around the other side and did the same on that side of the bed.

"H-here, please Xander. Please…" He set Dani down as gently as he could and I felt a burning moment of jealousy as he placed a kiss on her forehead. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear and I thought I heard him say something "you…wished…" I averted my eyes for she was whispering something to him and I did not want to intrude on their private moment. Then he stepped back and bowed to her for the full three seconds.

I could barely hear her voice but she whispered my name and I rushed the step forward to kneel on the ground by her. I had to lean in and put my ear right by her mouth to hear her even a little. "…my mark. Please…" She weakly lifted and then dropped her left hand, wrapped in gauze on the bed and I looked at it dumbly.

Then I heard Stefan behind me. "Lady Tara." I turned to look at him. "She was quite insistent that you be the first to see her mark. She said you would understand her new name." He held out a small vial. "T'dre sends these herbs."

I took the herbs from him as if in a daze and looked at Dani. She seemed on the verge of losing consciousness. I uncapped the lid. "Do you want these?" She shook her head and I leaned forward and put the vial in the palm of her other hand. "If you change your mind, you have them."

She nodded and closed her eyes for a moment as if trying to gather her strength and courage. "My mark…" She crossed her hand over to rest it in front of me. "Please…"

I was aware of the others gathering closer as I began to carefully unwrap the bandages. The pain must have been quite bad for as I unwrapped them she took a small sip of the herbs, wincing at the bitterness. Finally I reached the last layer of bandage and peeled it back. It seemed the entirety of our group was holding our breath and then we released a collective gasp as her mark was revealed.

Weak as she was, Dani's smile was clearly directed at the beauty of T'dre's artistry. For there in the midst of her reddened palm was the simplicity of the free-servant's bond. A single "W." I blinked my eyes as I took in the markings around the letter, realizing the extent to which Tadre had taken on this assignment and made it her own. I was transfixed by the sight of Dani's hand. Or no longer Dani and I didn't know her name. I did not know the name of my love and this struck me as strange beyond measure. I looked at her through blurred tears and saw her watching me intently as she could. Her eyelids drooped and her last word before succumbing to her exhaustion filled me with hope as none other could have.

Willow.

I turned to Stefan but he was already handing me the jar of ointment for her palm and this I brushed on lightly to ease her pain and keep away infection before tucking her hand under the covers, in fact pulling the covers up around her to make her as comfortable as possible.

I could not say how many minutes I sat there just staring at her, every so often reaching out to brush my fingertips through her hair and then stopping myself before I heard Faith's voice behind me. "Lady Tara. We must talk."

"I can't leave her." My voice broke as I spoke. I had sent her away once and she had returned to me. I would wait to find out the meaning of her chosen name or to be admonished for my terrible behavior. Either way, I would beg her forgiveness the moment she was well enough to hear my plea.

I glanced at Stefan and Faith amassed behind me. "Please, Tara. Dawn can sit with her if you can just step into your office with us." She waved her hand at the doorway to the anteroom which I used as a small office.

I looked at Dawn. "You will come get me if she even moves?"

"Yes, Lady Tara."

I turned and led the others from the room. Before going I started to lean down to kiss my love's forehead but I arrested my movement as I realized how inappropriate it would be. We reached the office and pulled the door partially closed. I was able to see into the bedroom by standing facing the doorway and my audience stood to the side to allow my vision. Faith glanced into the room again. "Is the bond broken?"

I nodded my head. I had known that the bond was broken as I reached the Estate the day before but this confrontation had proven it beyond a doubt. I could feel no trace of the magic which had bound us for three years. "It is broken."

Faith blew out a breath. "Good. I was concerned for Tadre's work after seeing what she has done." She shook her head. "How she could make such a mistake…Is she well?" She turned to Stefan. "Did she seem well?"

Stefan also shook his head. "She seemed entirely well and is quite comfortable at the inn. I had no idea that she was lacking…"

I continued to watch the two of them. Perhaps it was my exhaustion or the herbs my sister had given me the night before but I failed to understand immediately the reason for their consternation.

"My Lady," Faith finally said quite directly. "Tadre has given Dan…Willow the marks of a magic user."

"A first generation magic user," Stefan clarified.

I nodded my head as I finally understood their concern. Well, it would be public now. "T'dre did not make a mistake." I watched through the doorway. Willow slept peacefully and Dawn was quite vigilant.

"But her marks…"

"Faith, Stefan," I glanced back and forth between them. "Willow is a magic user. I do not know how this is possible but you can trust me that it is."

Faith seemed almost angry with this revelation but she did not allow it to show greatly. "How long have you known this?"

"I am sorry, sister, to have never told you this. I have known since we were children."

Faith was silent for a long time as Stefan watched her. Finally she spoke. "You must have been very afraid, My Lady."

I considered my words carefully. "I became less afraid as time went on and we both grew into our power. But still, we did not want it known. T'dre only knows because Dani invoked a spell during her marking."

Faith nodded her head. "This means…there is more to D'Shel's story than we have been led to believe."

I smiled at her understatement. "Very much more it would seem." I glanced back into the room. "I must sit with her." I bowed quickly and they did the same.

Dawn waited until I had tapped her shoulder and then stood to allow me to sit in the chair by the bed. "May I get you anything, Lady Tara? Something to eat or drink?"

I acquiesced, feeling hunger pangs and asked her to bring me a sandwich and drink and she did so quickly. I thanked her profusely and dismissed her with the promise that I would call for her if I needed her.

She seemed to hesitate for a moment before speaking. "Would you…would you pass on my congratulations to Willow?"

It was an interesting request but I realized that Willow was certainly due congratulations. "I will surely do so, Dawn. Thank you."

She bowed and left and I turned my full attention to watching Willow sleep. I dared not touch her, even to brush a wisp of hair from her forehead but I was captivated by her beauty. Could it be possible that this would be the last time I would see her? If she woke and cursed my very name and being, I would plead nothing but beg her forgiveness on my knees.

The sun moved across the sky and the shadows played on the floor of the room and still I sat by the bed. My days, currently, seem to be filled with nothing but sitting and waiting. Dawn came to check on me frequently and bring me drinks or spell me for a necessary break but mostly I sat. Willow stirred once or twice, once looking at me with glazed eyes and asking for more herbs which I handed her eagerly.

And I thought of Faith's words and of the way I had left Dani in the village.

Dani was quiet as we rode. At her waist was the fine dagger I had brought from the wedding and she looked beautiful for how could she ever not?

"Might I ask what errand we take, My Lady?"

I thought about this for a few moments. "I believe it would be better that we wait until we arrive. I promise I will explain when we reach the tavern."

My love nodded and did not inquire further and we reached the tavern in silence. The innkeeper directed us to the rooms I had reserved for Tadre and she answered when we knocked at her door. She was quite eager to greet us both formally and informally. I could see that her marking instruments and supplies were prepared and she asked to speak to me privately.

"Lady Tara. Are you sure about this?"

I nodded my head. "Yes, Miss T'dre. I must free her."

She looked across the room toward my love. "Have you told her?"

"I will do so now." I bowed and then hugged her. "There is none other I would trust with such an important marking as this."

She bowed in return and I crossed to Dani asking her to enter the other room of the suite with me. She watched me carefully and spoke before I could begin. "Please do not do this, My Lady."

So she had guessed the reason for our journey. I took her hands in my own and attempted to speak quickly for tears were forming in my eyes as they had already pooled in hers. "Dani. I…love you as I never have loved another nor will. I…" I took a long break as her eyes were locked on mine. "I…I…Do you know how I love you?"

Dani squinted. "Yes, My Lady."

I could hardly speak. "I…T'dre is here at my request to give you your freed servant's bond."

Dani shook her head. "My Lady. Tara. I…I can not…" She took a few shuddering breaths. When she spoke again she struggled with her words. "I do…this is not…you need a servant…" Her tears were falling quickly and it was obvious that she could not speak further.

I was losing my own composure. "I…you have lodging here for as